Macks said there was a delay for over a year in Josh’s trial.
Quarles argued that Emilia’s participation in the crimes and her murder trial should have never been “a death case,” to begin with, and should never have been tried as such.
The justices said it would be some time before their ruling.
CHAPTER 106
ACCORDING TO JOSH, although he said he “tossed all of the letters away” out of anger and resentment, Emilia kept trying to contact him after they were both sentenced and incarcerated.
I wondered how this was possible, seeing that prison-to-prison correspondence between prisoners is not allowed.
But Josh insisted that Emilia used a friend as a third party to accept and then redistribute the letters. Nevertheless, Josh wrote, It just shows you that Emilia still tryes [sic] to keep in contact with me, and yet she tells people it is me who writes to her. He wrote that [I] respond to her letters sometimes just for entertainment.
In several of those letters, Josh claimed, Emilia asked him to write to the governor and tell him that there was a “mother of four on death row that is innocent.”
Josh thought this request was funny, writing to me, There might be a mother of four . . . on death row that is innocent, but it is not Emilia. . . .
The media made a “big deal” out of a letter Josh was able to get to a man who had been sentenced to life in prison. Josh reached out to the man after hearing how upset he was by the sentence. In his letter to that man, Josh said how living life behind bars wasn’t so bad, actually, because you could get Playboy magazines, watch TV and get an MP3 player and download music, he pointed out.
The press and the SAO had a field day with this, claiming Josh was spitting in the face of the justice system and laughing at his sentence, thus mocking those jurors and the judge who had spared his life. And rightly so, it certainly seemed, with the wording Josh chose in that letter, he was gloating.
Josh told me that his intention was never to delight in the fact that he had beaten the system and escaped a death sentence. He was simply trying, as an elder con of sorts, to explain to this guy that there were rules and “dos and don’ts” associated with now being a member of the “chain gang.”
I wanted to encourage him, Josh wrote. That’s all.
It was Brad King, according to Josh, who facilitated that onslaught of media coverage over the letter.
Josh went on to explain that he had no idea why his case was chosen to be what he called a “big story” in the media at the time it was tried. He didn’t understand why he was turned into, again, by his account, a “superstar” criminal. But he suspected that for prosecutor Brad King: I gave him a case wrapped in a gold box, so he makes it looks like he done all this hard work to put a murderer away.
Brad King did his job as a public servant and law enforcement officer of the court.
In the end, contradicting an earlier statement, Josh Fulgham said the jury in his case got it right: I am wrong for what I done and I will pay for my part. . . .
Regarding Emilia: If [she] was innocent, I would not have her sit on death row or even in prison at all. But Emilia is just as guilty as me, if not more.
There is one everlasting truth in this story, a slice of reality that cannot be denied: Despite the problems she had throughout her life, what she did personally, how she interacted with her family, the men she chose to have in her home, Heather Strong was an innocent victim, viciously murdered by two people she somewhat trusted not to take things as far as they did. Heather will never get a chance to soar like the eagle she dreamed herself to become one day. She will never be allowed to change her life’s path. She will never have the chance to hold her babies and smell that sweet, rosy, cherubic, baby powder aroma of childhood on their skin. She will never have the opportunity to love again. And maybe the worst fear Heather had all her life is now a reality: Her children are without a mother, a woman who loved them more than they will ever know.
That is the tragedy here.
EPILOGUE
THERE’S SOMETHING TO be said for remorse, at least when it pertains to a convicted murderer admitting his or her role in the crime and sharing genuine sorrow. Remorse, in this manner, can only be defined as a deep regret for one’s actions. Yet, within that regret, one who is truly remorseful must also express some form of repentance for the wrong he or she has committed. There has to be a sense of guilt and an understanding that a great moral wrong took place, and he or she is sorry for it and is willing to take responsibility.
It’s rare that a writer/researcher/crime expert hears an ounce of true remorse from a murderer. I’ve hardly ever experienced a convicted murderer sharing true remorse, in some twenty-five nonfiction crime books that I have written. I have interviewed dozens of criminals and murderers, even serial killers. This is why, for me, when I hear it from the mouth of a convicted, admitted murderer, it not only stands out, but I need to take a step back and evaluate the validity of that so-called remorse.
Thus, the question presents itself: Is Joshua Fulgham truly remorseful? (We cannot evaluate Emilia because she still claims no involvement.)
I think this case proves that remorse, when it is genuine, can go a long way in the feelings of a community put in a position to judge innocence and guilt, life and death. You show a jury you’re truly remorseful, absolutely sorry for what you did—and let’s be clear, I don’t feel Josh actually did that as well as he could or should have—and the jury will give you the benefit of the doubt. Rightly so, they won’t let you off the hook, but they might just allow you to live because, in the end, most people, when given the opportunity, will forgive.
I DO NOT yet have a Florida Supreme Court decision in Emilia’s case at the time of this writing—and I feel bad for that as a writer publishing a book about this case. In my humble opinion, sticking my neck out, I believe after reading and studying her case, reviewing all of the documents and conducting interviews with many of the people involved, the Supreme Court will likely rule in Emilia’s favor and kick the case back to the lower courts, where she will either fight for another trial (which she shouldn’t) or accept a life sentence (which she should).3
There is a “Free Emilia Carr” Facebook page, with 177 members (as of this writing). The photos on the page tell a story. In the various photos of Emilia wearing orange johnnies, we see a seemingly sad, lonely, innocent-looking young woman in prison. At times, she’s standing behind a cartoonish background or a white wall, sometimes smiling, sometimes looking coyly (maybe even sexily) into the camera lens. Sometimes she’s posing as if for a fashion shoot, but also, more sobering, at times looking through those looking back, as there seems to be a devilish gaze absolutely present in Emilia’s stare.
Those are the many faces of Emilia Carr. She is an enigma. In listening to all of the prison phone calls between Emilia and Josh, you truly get a sense of who this woman is. Her true character comes through without Emilia trying. In my opinion, Emilia wanted Heather out of the picture so she could be with Josh, a man who—truth be told—never loved her and never would. Emilia felt Josh would protect her. She needed that. She felt Josh would take care of her. She needed that, too. And also that Josh would provide for her, an important element of this story from Emilia’s point of view. Emilia was kind of bouncing through life at the time, not really knowing what would come next. Josh was Emilia’s savior. It was one of the reasons, I believe, she purposely got pregnant with his child. I say one of the reasons, because the other was to throw that pregnancy in Heather’s face. Heather was a woman Emilia clearly viewed as her rival and someone whom Emilia hated with an intense passion.
The “Free Emilia Carr” Facebook page is filled with stories of DNA exonerating the innocent and tales of men who died on death row before being able to prove their innocence. It’s also filled with foul language and nasty remarks pointed at Emilia that, as of this writing, the webmaster has been cleaning up and deleting, encouraging posters to keep the discourse clean and civ
il.
Emilia’s sister Milagro posted a rather simple, yet revealing, message back on July 19, 2013: Help free my sister.
Within those four simple, sad words lies another characteristic at the heart of this story from Emilia’s perspective: her family.
I reached out to Emilia’s Facebook community and asked for comments, interviews, etc., posted my e-mail address and encouraged anyone, within reason, to become a voice in this book.
Not one person contacted me.
Likewise, Emilia sent me phone numbers of family and friends. I left messages—on those numbers that were actually active; many were not—but nobody ever called me back.
Emilia initially said she did not want to talk to me. She referred to me as part of the vast conspiracy of evil media out in the world that had judged her and made her life hell by publishing erroneous accusations about her. I have yet to correspond with a convicted murderer who has not made this same allegation. (Josh did it in the end, too!) Emilia specifically mentioned a television series that profiled her case and said the show painted her as a wicked, twisted murderer. She said she wouldn’t be a part of me doing the same thing.
But there was something I felt in that first letter from her. I could tell she wanted to continue talking to me, but she just needed a little prodding.
So I explained in a second letter that I have never been part of “the media.” I’m not a reporter. And she shouldn’t confuse me with being a member of any news group or media outlet. I told her I was a book writer/investigative journalist doing my own thing—answering only to my editor—and that if she wanted to speak about her case without “the media” getting in her way, this was her chance. Probably her last chance. I had offered the same to Josh. (I offer the same to any convicted murderer I write about.) I told Emilia I would not censor her story or turn it into something it’s not. I explained how I thought there was more to her story than what had been reported. I called it a “much bigger story” than anybody was likely aware of by simply reading news accounts or watching crime television. In her first letter to me, Emilia had mentioned several instances from her case—she referred to them as “what the hell” moments—that did not make sense. She did not elaborate.
In my second letter to her, I wrote:
If you and your supporters want to reach a large audience with your message, I am offering that opportunity. But it’s up to you. If there are a lot of “what the hell?” [moments] in your case, as you say, I need you to point them out and comment on them in the book.
Finally I concluded by telling Emilia to reach out to all of her supporters and to have as many as she’d like contact me. I wanted their input. I wanted Emilia’s complete story from friends and family. I should note that as I got deep into my research, within Emilia’s background, I could not find any history of violence or odd behavior or anything resembling a woman who would go on to commit a murder with another person. Generally, when you unpack a murderer’s life, there are shimmering (and often shivering) moments of a person who you later could see killing another human being. “Aha” moments, for certain. I’m not talking psychopath stuff, like with serial killers or mass murderers, spree killers and the like: maiming and torturing animals, setting fires, bullying kids to the point of violence, stockpiling weapons in their bedroom closet, YouTube manifestos and so on. But there are glimpses into that later behavior, such as perpetrating child abuse, violent spats with significant others, assault charges, not being able to hold down jobs, even theft and a total disregard for any type of authority. We see a lot of this in Josh’s case. Yet, as I looked into Emilia’s background and squeezed out the details of her life, I could not come up with anything even remotely resembling that of a twisted, evil person who had the wiring that would lead ultimately to the circuitry of a killer. It’s not unheard of, of course. But it is rare not to find anything of significance.
In that second letter, I ended by saying:
If you’re interested, start by telling me about yourself: where you grew up, your life as a child/teen/young adult, and how you met Joshua. Let’s start there.... Love to have you on board. If not, I am sorry you feel that way and I wish you all the best.
What did Emilia have to lose in talking to me? After all, she was sitting on death row.
She wrote me back a three-page letter beginning a dialogue about her life story (all of which I included in this book). But I never heard from her again.
Part of this might be because of her being on death row. All of her letters to me were clearly opened, read, repackaged in the same envelope and sent on to me (as were many of Josh’s). Emilia also mentioned that it took weeks to receive my letters.
In a final missive, which I wrote on March 25, 2014, I included the following:
I got your letter. Thanks. I’m glad you decided to start writing. Josh is writing to me, also, so it’s good to have both of your voices heard. That’s balance.
Because it takes so long for you to get my letters, I will suggest that you do the following. Send me a long letter with everything you need to say, so if I run out of time on my deadline . . . at least I’ll have something....
I wrote out several questions. Among them:
Tell me about Josh in as much detail as you can. Tell me about your life together. How you met ... Tell me about Heather? Your feelings [for] her? Tell me what happened. In your words, go through what happened that day. . . . Tell me about your dealings with police. Tell me how you feel now. How does it feel to be on death row? Why do you think you got a death sentence? . . . Also, encourage relatives and friends to send me (my e-mail address is below) photos and letters and anything that can help explain/show my readers who you are.
As the end of June approached, ninety days later, I still had not heard from Emilia. Nor had I heard from anyone in her family, her friends or her supporters. Everyone from Emilia’s side was entirely silent.
Josh, of course, wrote many letters describing his life, from his point of view, in great detail, save for mentioning that sexual abuse.
So I wrote back to him, asking about it—and we’ve already seen what his response was.
Josh also said he hadn’t spoken to Michelle, his sister, since his arrest. And this troubled him. He asked me to reach out to Michelle and tell her, “I love her and miss her very much. . . .”
Emilia was convicted, I believe, on the conversation Michelle courageously recorded inside her car on the afternoon Buie and Spivey sat nearby and listened. That was the day the state’s case was made and a potential life sentence turned into a death sentence.
In the end, I hope Emilia is booted from death row and placed in a maximum-security facility for women for the remainder of her life. That would be, in my personal view, a just sentence. I don’t say this out of religious beliefs or personal thoughts regarding the death penalty; I say this because it is the only just sentence for Emilia. If any one of the two deserved the death penalty in this case, my belief is it should have been Josh. For my money, there was clear intent and premeditation on Josh’s part. I don’t believe one or the other played a more violent or bigger role in Heather’s murder. They were both equally responsible. I do think, however, Josh had a plan while behind bars to pay Heather back for what she and Ben did to him. That all being said, it would still be hard for me to vote death, had I been on the jury, for a man (or woman) who had been abused sexually the way Josh (supposedly) and Emilia (definitely) had been. Once childhood sexual abuse enters the picture, accountability for later actions has to be viewed under an entirely different microscope.
What’s interesting to me is that as soon as I mentioned to either Josh or Emilia that I was talking to the other, Emilia stopped corresponding with me and Josh snapped. That alone says a lot about them.
I WOULD LIKE to end by sharing some words about Heather Strong. Here was a woman who worked her ass off as a waitress to take care of her children. Unfortunately, she had a shithead for a boyfriend/husband, a man who knew the difference between bei
ng responsible for his family, taking care of them, and just being a deadbeat drug abuser who blamed society for the shit life he created for himself and everyone around him. Heather kept trying to dig out from underneath the dysfunction she often found herself facing, day in and day out, when she was with Josh. When she finally found a good, honest man—Ben McCollum—who loved her and her kids, a man who wanted to take care of her and give her and the kids a normal, healthy life, Heather was emotionally ill-equipped to deal with that sort of love. As a result, she did what she always did and went back to Josh, where, as unhealthy and dysfunctional as that relationship always was, it provided that all-too-familiar (and tragic) codependency of comfort that kept Heather returning—in order to feel normal. True, honest love, like that which she shared with Ben, was not something Heather was used to or could handle. It was uncomfortable. She had no idea how to deal with it, accept it or enjoy it. Her life was a loud roller-coaster ride with Josh. When she met up with the quiet comfort Ben gave her, it was too overwhelming.
That is the lesson here for any female reading this book and realizing she might be in a similar situation. Please, I beg of you: Don’t allow Heather’s murder to have taken place in vain—learn from it. Get out of that unhealthy, dangerous and violent relationship and stay the hell out! Run as far away as possible. Remember, if he has ever shown you who he truly is, please believe him—because that’s who he is. He will not change, despite what he promises.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
THE MOST GRATITUDE I can ever extend, perpetually there alongside my heartfelt appreciation, has to go to my readers. You continue to support my work and I am humbled by your continued presence every time a new book is published. I say this in every book, but I am forever at a loss for words when trying to say thank you, because nothing I can say is, in my opinion, enough. My readers are the most important part of what I do.
To Love and to Kill Page 34