He felt the familiar tightening of his gut, the strange slow somersault of his heart the moment their eyes met.
“What’s next? What are you planning to do?”
“I’ve got to stop Abel. He’s after Mikhail. He plans to wipe out the entire species. We’re all connected through the prince. I don’t know what Abel stands to gain from killing Mikhail, but he’s dead set on it.”
“Maybe he’s moved on,” she said hopefully. “He’s lost most of his pack and now Bardolf. It would make sense for him to run.”
Fen sighed, his fingers at the nape of her neck, massaging gently. Tension was creeping back in when she’d been limp and relaxed only moments earlier. “I don’t think he’s going anywhere. I think his mission was to kill Mikhail, and unfortunately for him, I ran across his tracks, as did Zev. He wasn’t expecting either of us.”
“Do you really think you can kill Abel? How long has he been a Sange rau? Isn’t it true that your abilities grow with time?”
He felt the anxiety in her mind, heard the note of worry she tried to keep from her voice. “I’ve seen him in action, and I think we’re fairly evenly matched. So, yes, I believe I can kill him. It may take a little bit of luck and I know I’ll probably need recovery time after, but I’ll get the job done.”
He didn’t need to pretend confidence for her, and in any case he doubted if he could deceive her. He was confident. He brushed another kiss on the top of her head for reassurance. “No matter if Abel moved on or not, I would have to hunt him down. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. I can’t let him kill whoever he pleases. He lives for that now. The rush. The blood. No one is safe, no species. He has to be destroyed.”
“I know. But isn’t Zev supposed to hunt rogues?”
He couldn’t help but smile. “Abel is no rogue. He’s far more than that and you know it. The key to killing Abel is to remember what he’s like, I think. I grew up with him. I knew him as a child. The memories are vague, but I’m slowly pulling them up. He was a good man. Honorable. He didn’t have the character flaws one associates with those who choose to lose their souls. I have no idea what would make him choose to become the very thing he hunted so successfully for centuries. I ran across him once in a rare while. He was unswerving, even relentless in carrying out his duties.”
“What usually tips someone over the edge?” Tatijana asked, curiosity in her mind. “You all start out with honor.”
“I think it has to do with character. I’ve met Carpathians who crave power. Who enjoy killing. Remember, we are predators. We’re born to hunt. The darkness is in all of us, but just like everyone, we have character strengths and weaknesses. There were some whose paths I crossed that I was certain would turn if they didn’t find their lifemate very quickly. Abel wasn’t one of them.”
“Would he turn if he did find his lifemate and she was killed somehow?”
That gave him pause. There was always that danger. In the midst of grief, of wrenching intense sorrow when the other half of one’s soul had been ripped away, insanity could ensue. Tatijana may have hit on something, although he didn’t like the idea. If Abel had become vampire upon losing his lifemate, and it was known, that would make it much more difficult for Mikhail to convince the Lycan council that any Guardian who had a lifemate would be safe from becoming the Sange rau.
“It’s possible. That’s definitely one of the most feared moments for any Carpathian. Males refer to that moment as the madness thrall. You hold light in you, Tatijana, but we’re all darkness until you provide us with that light. You’ve given me life,” he tried to explain. She might be able to understand, because she had to have felt hopeless in those long, barren years prisoner in the ice caves.
“The centuries go on endlessly. There’s nothing but the kill. After a while a hunter begins to look forward to the kill because there is nothing else for him. There is no beauty in the world.” He looked around him. “Look at this. The falls, the pools and forest. The colors, so vibrant. Without you, I couldn’t see any of this. I wouldn’t even notice it. You provided that for me. I had no ability to feel for others. I hunted. I killed. I fed. That was my life. That’s the life of a Carpathian male. I was luckier than most because I found the Lycans. For a long while I could see as a wolf sees, but as my abilities as a . . . Guardian grew, so did the darkness in me.”
Tatijana pressed closer if it was possible, holding him tight in her arms.
“Can you imagine what it would be like for me, having been given these incredible gifts, this miracle of a lifemate who allows me to see such beauty in the world, to feel so intensely, such emotion and then have it ripped away? A madness grips, takes over. Most get through it, but not all.”
“Is it really a choice then, to become the vampire?” Tatijana asked.
“I haven’t been in that situation, but because the decision has to be made, give up one’s soul or follow your lifemate, it is decreed that it is a choice. I believe, in a moment of madness, anyone can make a bad decision.”
“How sad. How tragic.”
“It’s both,” he agreed. “But once he’s vampire, then there is no choice for the hunter. He must destroy the undead, even if it’s one’s father, brother or best friend. Vampires are wholly evil. Believe me, Tatijana, over the centuries, I’ve tried to reach one or two and pull them back.”
She nuzzled his throat. “Of course you did. You had little or no emotions, but you still had it in you to try.”
“We have memories. That is one thing we don’t lose. That is the one gift left to us. Our memories are vivid and very much alive. They do fade as the centuries go by, but we hold them close to us. Dimitri and I aided one another, keeping those important memories alive in one another. If not for him, I would have met the dawn a century ago. The pull of evil is so strong in a mixed blood. I think the predator is strong in both species, and when they come together it is far worse as time goes by and the gifts develop.”
“I feel sorry for Abel if he did lose a lifemate. I can’t imagine losing you. But Fen, if something happens to me, follow me. I don’t want to think of you lost without me and I can’t get to you to save you.”
She frowned up at him and he tried not to melt. It seemed a ridiculous thing to do for a Carpathian hunter and worse for a Guardian. One shouldn’t find their lifemate’s frowns adorable.
“I’ll do my best to always stay honorable, my lady,” he assured her.
“You’re worried about Dimitri, aren’t you?”
“I don’t worry that he will turn,” he said slowly. “The connection between Skyler and Dimitri is very strong. Intense. I’ve never seen anything like it, but, having said that, he puts himself in harm’s way more than I would like.”
She laughed softly. “In other words, he’s just like you. You throw yourself in front of people when there’s danger. Is that what you mean?”
He tugged on a strand of her hair. “He took me in even when I explained the dangers of what I was to him. He went into battle with me over and over and when we gave each other blood to survive, he knew the risks and still did it anyway.” He caught her chin and lifted it, forcing her to look up at him. “As you’re doing now.”
“And always, my Guardian, you have to know it is my choice. Just as it is Dimitri’s choice. None of us have control over what another does, we can only control ourselves. Dimitri is a strong man. He’s one of the best in any battle. He’s known for some time that he’s becoming as you are . . .”
“Yet he didn’t tell me until this evening.”
“He’s a man who handles his own life, just as you do,” Tatijana said. “He may be your younger brother, but he caught up with you many centuries ago. He has a need to protect you, just as you protect him. Skyler returned his emotions to him and he feels deeply. You can’t fault him for being a man.”
She spoke the truth and Fen knew it. Dimitri would always be his own man. He’d make his own de
cisions. Fate had given Dimitri the skills of a hunter and he’d excelled at his job.
“I love that the two of you are so close. I don’t know what I’d do without Bronnie. We definitely relied on each other all those centuries. It’s nice to know you understand that unbreakable bond we have.”
Fen sighed. The sky overhead was becoming lighter in spite of the rainclouds drifting across. “We have to go to ground, my lady.”
“I know.” She kissed his throat again. “I wanted this night to never end. I know you’re going to hunt Abel this next rising.” She paused to look up at him. “Aren’t you?”
“It has to be done. I can’t take the chance of waiting. He’s got a plan to kill Mikhail and he believes he can do it. That means the plan is already in place. I can’t wait for him to put it into motion and maybe get away with it. If I push him, actively hunt him, and he knows I’m coming for him, that might throw him off his game.”
Fen stood up, taking her with him, cradling her in his arms, close to his chest. He didn’t bother with clothes, there seemed no need. Both could regulate their body temperatures and she loved the feel of the rain on her skin. He was coming to love it as well.
“When it’s over, will we stay here? Make our home near the others?”
She was asking if they would remain close to her sister. Again she tried to hide that little anxious note from him, but he felt it would be impossible for him not to recognize when his lady was upset.
He leaned his head down and fastened his mouth to hers. She tasted like the rain. Like wild honey. Like Tatijana. She always made him hungry for more.
“I would never take you far from your sister, sívamet,” he assured when he had kissed her thoroughly. “I would never do anything that would make you unhappy.”
Tatijana’s eyes searched his. She nodded her head and tightened her hold on his neck. “Let’s go back to our little spot in the forest. I want to lie close to you for a while before we go to sleep. I need you to hold me.”
“Always,” he said, and took to the air.
19
Tatijana woke before Fen. She lay curled in his arms, her head on his shoulder, just as she had when they’d finally closed the earth over them. They’d made love two more times, and she knew part of that terrible hunger in her was sheer fear. The Sange rau terrified her. There would be no stopping Fen, or Dimitri for that matter. Both had sworn loyalty to the prince and the Carpathian people. They would defend Mikhail Dubrinsky with their lives.
She waved her hand to open the earth. It was dark in the forest, although still rather early in the evening. Tree branches swayed and danced to the wind. The rain had stopped, but gray clouds spun in the sky. A storm was coming. A big one. She pressed a hand to her wildly beating heart. She would not lose her lifemate to this monster. Strangely, last evening, when she thought it was possible Abel had turned because he’d lost his lifemate, she’d felt compassion for him. That was gone this rising. She only cared that Fen came home safe to her.
She took a deep breath of the fresh air. The rain always left behind a fresh, clean scent. Now, it was mixed with the soothing aroma of forest—trees and rich soil. She arranged her surprise for him, the candles set in a protection circle around soft blankets right out under the canopy so they could look up and see the night arriving through the beauty of the trees. Fen hadn’t seen much beauty these past centuries and she was determined to make up for lost time. She’d awakened early just for that purpose.
When she was ready, Tatijana floated him out of their sleeping quarters and over to the blanket, ensuring his body was clean and free of all rejuvenating soil. She knew he was aware, but he didn’t stop her or try to take over. That made her love him all the more. Fen always provided what she needed most. Right now, she needed to feel his strength and know they were both alive and well.
She crawled over the top of him, kissing her way up his thigh, his groin, the erection that was already becoming heavy and thick, his belly and chest with all that beautiful muscle definition. She traced the muscles with her tongue, exploring him, imprinting him into her bones, in her mind so there wasn’t a single inch of him she didn’t know.
His hands tangled in her hair as she took her time with her exploration. He turned his body over and let her do the same to the back of him and then each side. He never said a word, but she felt completely surrounded by his love. She’d never felt so close to anyone in her life. She knew he was telling her silently that he belonged to her. Whatever she needed, whatever she hungered for, he provided.
When she turned him back over and took his face between her hands, her body stretched out over his, so that every inch of her was pressed into him, she kissed him long and hard. Taking her time. Telling him she loved him with her mouth, with her hands.
When she lifted her head, Fen smiled at her. He traced her mouth with the pad of his fingers. “My turn,” he said abruptly and catching her in his arms, rolled her beneath him.
She couldn’t help the little thrill that burst through her. He was so strong, his body fit and hard, yet he never hurt her. Fen repeated her actions, exploring every inch of her, but she was certain he was far more thorough than she had been, he had her squirming and mewling like a kitten, her hips bucking at times when he used his tongue and teeth on her most sensitive nerve endings. He paid no attention, but took his time, making certain he didn’t miss a single spot.
He pulled her to her hands and knees, wrapping his arm around her waist and jerking her body back into him as he knelt up behind her. His hands massaged her buttocks, his finger slipping into her to make certain she was ready for him.
The position allowed him to go even deeper, to take her harder and faster. He started slow and gentle, giving her body time to get used to his invasion as he almost always did. Her sheath always seemed reluctant at first, so tight she strangled his cock, but then opening for him like a sensitive flower to allow his deeper penetration.
He seemed to know without words what she needed and he pounded into her, showing no mercy, taking her up fast and hard and then stopping just before her release. Over and over he built the tension, stretching them both out on a torturous rack of pleasure until she was nearly sobbing. Still he was relentless. Merciless.
Fen waited for her pleas. The chanting of his name. The music that always accompanied their lovemaking. He didn’t stop until he heard it, surging deep, his cock swelling gloriously, while her feminine sheath gripped and milked him. He heard his own hoarse cry blending with hers as jet after jet of hot seed filled her. The ripples went from her core to her breasts and down her thighs, the aftershocks nearly as strong as the orgasm itself and he felt them all, merged deep as he was in her mind.
Fen leaned over her, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling her back. “There is no better way to wake up, my lady, than with you like this.”
Tatijana didn’t say anything at all, but he felt her heavy sorrow pressing down on him.
Very gently, reluctantly, he withdrew, pulling her back onto his lap. She wouldn’t look at him and he had to grip her chin and turn her face up to his. There were tears on her face. “I will not die. I know you’re afraid, but I will not die.”
“I have a terrible feeling of dread.” She traced her finger over the faint image of the dragon over her ovary. “Sometimes, I know something bad is going to happen before it does. I don’t know what, but when I woke, I could barely breathe.”
“I will not die,” he reiterated. “I have battled the vampire for centuries and I have sustained many mortal wounds. It could very well happen again in this fight with Abel, but I survived without my lifemate. How much easier will it be for me this time? You are Dragonseeker. Mother Earth has accepted me as her son. We have Gregori close, a great healer, and young Skyler, who we both know is exceptional. I do not fear this. I don’t want you to be afraid either.”
Fen brushed at the tears on her f
ace, and then leaned down to take one into his mouth, tasting her fear.
Tatijana knelt up in front of him, taking his face between both hands. “You are everything to me, and know this, wolf man. Should you go into the next life, I will follow. Look for me only minutes behind. I will not give you up.”
“There will be no need. Unless you see my body and know I am dead, do not even consider such a thing,” he cautioned. “I’ve come back from wounds worse than Dimitri’s. The wolf in me is strong and regenerates fast.”
Tatijana sat back on her heels. “Like the Sange rau. Abel can regenerate very fast, can’t he? Like everything else it speeds up with the length of time you’ve been a mixed blood.”
Fen wasn’t surprised that she was aware Abel would be a far cry from Bardolf. “True. But silver will still kill him. I just have to figure out where he set up his lair.”
“I woke you early so you would have time to prepare,” Tatijana admitted. “And feed from a Carpathian ancient, one with pure line. I will give you my blood, but seek out Jacques Dubrinsky. You need to be as strong as possible.”
She stood up, clothing herself as she did so, but she left the candles burning. “This is a circle of protection. I was careful setting it up and as long as you’re in it, no harm can come to you. More, if you and Dimitri use this circle to figure out what Abel might do and where he might be, no other can accidentally overhear words, thoughts or telepathy.”
As frightened as she was for him, she had still taken the time to give him such a gift. He stood up as well, clothing himself, his hair tied back with a cord, his boots and long coat ready for war. He called his weapons to him, a multitude of silver stakes slipping into the loops made for them, as well as a long sword. He didn’t bother with gloves as he had no intention of running into any member of the pack. Instead, he coated his hands and arms with sealant as Dimitri had.
My brother-kin. Let us come together with a battle plan. Fen wasted no time at all waking his brother.
Dark Lycan (Carpathian) Page 36