Eager to see him again after three days of thinking almost nonstop about him, Heddy had ignored all the reasons why she should decline and had agreed.
But now Clair had dropped in. And while Clair was supportive of taking the grant from the Camdens and selling cheesecakes through Camden Superstores— especially since Clark had given the legal go-ahead—she was clearly leery of Heddy spending an afternoon at the zoo with Lang Camden.
And Heddy hadn’t even told her cousin about the kissing. She was still struggling with guilt over it and couldn’t bring herself to talk about it.
“The zoo doesn’t have anything to do with cheesecakes,” she said in answer to Clair’s question. “It’s just a beautiful day and Lang thought I might like to go. No big deal.”
“Unless it is...” Clair said ominously. “I saw him, remember? He’s the kind of man women leave their husbands for. He’s a gorgeous hunk of rich, charming masculinity, and if he’s trying to sweep you off your feet—”
Was he?
“No. I don’t think he’s trying to sweep me off my feet by asking me to go to the zoo.”
“I wouldn’t want you to fall into the same trap your mom fell into.”
They were standing in Heddy’s kitchen while Heddy checked her purse to make sure she had her wallet, her keys and everything she might need for a two-and-a-half-year-old at the zoo in case Lang didn’t think ahead.
But when she zipped up her well-stocked purse she didn’t sling the strap over her shoulder to leave. Instead she leaned back against the edge of the counter behind her, looked at Clair and thought about what her cousin had said.
Was she falling into the same trap her mother had?
“It doesn’t seem like Lang is setting any kind of trap,” she said.
“But you’re falling anyway?” Clair observed with alarm in her voice.
“No, I’m not falling for him,” Heddy insisted. “But something has happened....”
“Something like what?”
Heddy tried to describe what had happened to her on Monday night. She didn’t tell her cousin about the kissing. She only told her about the realizations she’d come to about finding it easier to be around Carter now, and how therapeutic it had been to tell Lang about Daniel and Tina.
“I mean, sure, Carter is a cute kid and maybe that helped reboot me a little when it comes to kids. I guess that isn’t so hard to figure out. But the other...”
She shook her head, still perplexed by what had come over her. “I don’t know... It isn’t as if I haven’t talked about Daniel and Tina and what happened a million times before to you and the rest of the family and my friends and Daniel’s friends and... Well, you know.”
Clair nodded.
“But for some reason this time...” Heddy shrugged. “I just ended up feeling...I don’t know, as if once it was out I’d passed some kind of point that let me feel better in general. I can’t explain it. Maybe there’s some magic number of times to talk about it and once I’d hit it—”
“That would be great. But if there isn’t a magic number and you feel better because of Lang Camden, because you’re attracted to him, and telling him about Daniel put it behind you and opened the way to this guy—that worries me.”
“It wasn’t like I put it behind me,” Heddy hedged. “It will always be a part of me. Daniel and Tina will always be a part of me.”
Clair cut to the chase. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt, Heddy. After Daniel and Tina and the past five years. If you get hurt on your first time out of the gate... That scares me. And the Camden track record with Hanrahan women isn’t good.”
“Yeah, it’s horrible,” Heddy confirmed.
And maybe, she thought, Clair was her wake-up call today. Maybe she had slightly lost sight of the history between the Camdens and the Hanrahans. And she needed not to do that.
Even if, for whatever reason, she was beginning to emerge from the dark space she’d been in for the past five years, that didn’t change the situation. Lang was still a Camden. She was still doing business with him. And yes, when it came to personal relationships between Camdens and Hanrahans, the Camdens most certainly did have a well-earned bad reputation.
“It’s okay,” she said resolutely then. “It’s gotten a little personal with Lang. He’s easy to talk to. He makes me laugh. And yes, I’ll admit that I haven’t hated being with him—he’s been a good time-filler.”
But she wasn’t going to admit to more than that. She wasn’t going to tell her cousin that she was having trouble not thinking about him when she wasn’t with him, that she hoped he was on the other end of the line every time her phone rang, or on the other side of the door whenever someone stopped by. And she wasn’t going to tell her cousin about the kissing. Or how much she’d liked it. How much she found herself craving more of it.
No, she needed to put a stop to all of that and she knew it, so why confess to what was already over and done with—what she was going to make sure didn’t happen again? It would only cause Clair to worry more.
Instead she said, “It isn’t as if this is a relationship or anything. It’s not like Mom planning her future with Mitchum Camden and waiting for the engagement ring that never came. Being with Lang right now is just temporary while he helps me get things going.”
That had come out sounding different than she’d intended it to. Maybe because there were a lot of things that Lang was helping her to get going again.
“While he helps me get things going with the new business,” she amended. “And pays the bills through the grant. But I don’t have any illusions. Once I’m up and running, I won’t even see or hear from him again. I’ll deal with a Camden Superstore purchaser or something.”
“But today you’re going to the zoo with him,” Clair said as if she wanted to be convinced but still had her doubts.
“It’s just the zoo. And every time we’ve been together it’s really about business. He probably wants to talk about logos and packaging, or about what I’ll need to do at the charity auction tomorrow night to promote the cheesecakes. And there’s always Carter—I’m not alone with Lang.”
Well, she would be tomorrow night at the charity auction. And not being alone hadn’t stopped what had happened so far.
But she opted not to tell her cousin those things, either.
“Just be careful, okay?” Clair said. “Don’t be thinking that you’re immune because of Daniel and Tina, that this guy can’t get to you. Because if anyone could, it might be him.”
There was truth in that.
“It’s okay. My mom is cautionary tale enough,” Heddy assured her as she and Clair went out the back door to their respective cars.
Clair still looked worried as they parted ways but as Heddy got behind the wheel and headed for Cherry Creek she was still thinking that her mother was definitely a cautionary tale that she had every intention of heeding.
Yes, it was a little nice that for the first time in five years she had twinges of excitement over the thought of seeing someone.
But that’s all it was—just a little nice.
A little nice and a little heartening to discover that she might not be as dead inside as she’d thought.
She didn’t have any illusions, though.
This was what it was.
In the first place, it was just for now. And if this was the beginning of a reawakening for her, good. But there wasn’t anything else to it. She wasn’t hanging any hopes—high or otherwise—on it the way her mother had with Mitchum Camden. She wasn’t clutching to it like a lifeline. She wasn’t even looking at it as a replacement for anything.
Because Daniel and Tina couldn’t be replaced, and she certainly had no desire to try.
This was just something that was happening for the moment. It was setting the stage for her financial fu
ture, and it was possibly giving her a sign that there might be life after Daniel in some form or another. Somewhere far, far down the road. Someday.
And not with Lang Camden.
But for now this was the best she’d felt in the past five years and she just couldn’t help enjoying it.
Cautiously, now that Clair had delivered the wake-up call.
But some just the same.
* * *
“Immuh chark. You goss a hot dog for me?” Carter asked Heddy, interrupting the hellos Heddy and Lang had only begun to exchange.
“At the zoo, Carter. I told you, I’ll get you a hot dog at the zoo,” Lang said.
Heddy was sitting in the passenger seat of Lang’s SUV en route to the Denver Zoo that was only blocks from his house. She’d called to let him know she was running late, and he had been putting Carter in the car seat when she’d arrived so she’d gone directly from her car to his.
In response to what she knew must be a quizzical expression on her face, Lang explained Carter’s greeting. “He’s a shark.”
“Ah! I was wondering what he had on,” Heddy said.
“My cousin Jani took him to the aquarium one day when she was babysitting for me and bought him the shark suit. He decides out of the blue that he’s a chark and he has to wear it. As for the hot dog—he’s been asking for one of those since I let him put on the suit and I’ve been telling him he could have one at the zoo, but he’s still asked every single person he’s seen—all day long—if they have a hot dog for him.”
Heddy laughed, taking a closer look at Carter over the corner of the seat.
The shark suit he was wearing was probably intended to be a Halloween costume. He was covered head to toe in what could have passed for a lightly padded gray snowsuit with his face peeking out from the shark’s mouth, surrounded like a sunflower by felt shark teeth.
“I goss eyes,” Carter told her when he saw her studying him. He swiveled as much as his car seat restraints allowed to show her the plastic shark eyes on the back of the hood.
“You do have shark eyes,” she answered. Then to Lang she said, “The suit keeps him from needing a coat.”
“I figured the same thing. Sixty degrees is nice, but he still would have had to wear a jacket.” Lang cast her a grin and added, “And he is funny in it.”
“Especially since he thinks sharks eat hot dogs,” Heddy said, glad to see that he found the situation humorous.
“Yeah, I have no idea where the hot dog thing comes in.”
Once they arrived at the zoo and parked, Heddy went around to the driver’s side to wait for Lang to take Carter out of his car seat.
Lang must have changed since he’d left the office because he wasn’t dressed for work now. He was wearing a navy blue Henley sweater and a pair of jeans that fitted him to perfection.
To such perfection that when he leaned into the car door opening, her eyes got stuck on his rear end and she could barely tear them away when he came out of the SUV with Carter in tow.
“See? Immuh chark!” Carter felt the need to repeat once Lang had set him on his feet and the two-and-a-half-year-old could show Heddy the fin and tail down the back of his suit.
“You really are,” Heddy confirmed.
Then Carter surprised her by taking her hand as they went up to the gates.
She’d never had the chance to take Tina to the zoo, and the thought weighed heavily on Heddy’s mind as she walked with Carter through the first few exhibits. A sadness she was only too familiar with came on board and with it thoughts about Daniel and wishes that she’d had a day like today with her husband and child.
But being with Carter and Lang helped diminish her sadness before long, allowing her to begin to enjoy herself.
How could she not as she watched the innocent mischief of Carter chasing a goose or trying unsuccessfully to climb the safety fences in his shark suit, or his unbridled glee over the real-life “Zsorzses” swinging from trees in the monkey house?
His joy was infectious, and having Lang beside her, making jokes and funny remarks about Carter and his antics, helped her to let the day be only about Carter and how delighted he was with every aspect of their trip to the zoo.
In fact, it was so infectious that she actually found herself having glimmers of the child Tina might have been and didn’t suffer for it.
“I wanna hot dog,” Carter reminded them petulantly as they drove away from the zoo.
“I can’t believe I couldn’t find him a hot dog,” Lang muttered to Heddy. “How do you feel about having those for dinner?”
Heddy hadn’t known she was expected to have dinner with them.
But before she could say so, Lang said, “You will have dinner with us, won’t you? I brought home the mock-ups for the changes we asked for on the logo and since you drove all the way over here to go to the zoo with us, I was hoping you’d let me buy you dinner. I thought maybe pizza because, you know—” He nodded toward Carter. “But now, can I persuade you to have a hot dog and then we can check the new logo?”
“Sure.”
“Great! Because I don’t think there’s any chance we’re getting the chark to eat anything else. So how about I stop at the store and run in real quick to get everything, then we’ll go back to my place, feed the chark, I’ll put him to bed and we can check out the logos?”
“Okay,” Heddy agreed, glad that even that much business was going to be done.
Because so far today, there hadn’t been any business the way she’d assured her cousin there would be.
* * *
Lang cooked hot dogs on the grill in the center of a stove that nearly made Heddy drool with envy. Carter ate his hot dog plain with ketchup, but Lang and Heddy spruced theirs up with chili, cheese and mustard. Potato chips rounded out the meal that was hardly fancy but delicious nevertheless, and then Heddy offered to clean up while Lang bathed Carter and put him to bed.
The kitchen was barely messy, so once Heddy had thrown away their paper plates and napkins and washed off the countertops, she had a chance to take a closer look at the state-of-the-art space and appliances.
It seemed like vast overkill for a man who claimed not to cook but to Heddy it was a dream kitchen. The overall color scheme was pristine white with touches of gray, the floor was tiled, the counters were all marble and the appliances were top-of-the-line stainless steel. The space was larger than Heddy’s kitchen, dining and living areas combined.
But the entire house seemed like overkill for a single man, even one with a recently inherited child.
Lang had dispatched Carter to show her around while he’d cooked and to Heddy’s surprise, the two-and-a-half-year-old had taken the job seriously. He’d again grabbed her hand and proved to be quite the tour guide.
The house was a two-story with four bedrooms and four bathrooms upstairs. On the ground floor there was a den, a family room, a living room and formal dining room to go along with the kitchen. There were two additional bathrooms on the lower level, and yet another one in the finished basement, which Heddy hadn’t had a chance to see before dinner was ready. But she had no doubt that the “playroom” and the “potty” Carter told her were downstairs were equally as impressive as the rest of the place.
After a few minutes, Lang still hadn’t come back downstairs, so Heddy slipped into the guest bathroom to see how she’d fared after her day at the zoo.
Not too badly, she decided, since her red turtleneck sweater and jeans were unmarred.
She had her hair swept back loosely so it was full but contained. Even though a few wisps had escaped to curl around her face, it hadn’t gone too wild so she just left them. Especially when she heard the sound of footsteps descending the stairs.
Slipping out of the bathroom, she went into the kitchen again just as Lang entered from the back stairway
.
“Okay, he’s down for the count!” he announced. “Now for our dessert.”
Why did there seem to be a sexual undertone in that?
Maybe she was just imagining it, she thought as Lang went to the freezer and took out a large tub of ice cream.
“Sweet Action,” he said, this time distinctly putting a sensual spin to the words. “Have you had it?” he asked, his innuendo clearly intentional because he raised a roguish eyebrow at her.
“Is that the kind of ice cream?” she asked, nodding toward the name on the label on the side of the tub and not giving him any satisfaction.
“It is,” he confirmed. “The best ice cream in the world. Especially when I top it...”
Both eyebrows wiggled salaciously then and Heddy couldn’t help laughing at him.
“Do you always get this worked up over ice cream?” she asked.
“Wait until you taste it. And what I do with it...”
Heddy laughed at him again and watched as he spooned out the praline ice cream and then poured a praline liqueur over the top.
One bite and Heddy forgave him his innuendos. “That is wonderful!”
“And you thought you were the only one who could do divine desserts,” he chided, practically gloating.
Then he suggested they take their ice cream and sit in the living room to look at the logos.
Neither of them had liked the advertising department’s first very contemporary design, but now a French twist had been given to the lettering and there was an Eiffel Tower logo to denote that cheesecake had its origin in French cuisine. After looking over the material spread out on Lang’s glass coffee table, they agreed that was the way to go.
Then they sat back, both of them near the center of the comfortable overstuffed white leather sofa, angled to face each other.
And Heddy decided to let some of her curiosity have free rein.
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