by Ava Lohan
The Novice
Ava Lohan
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Excerpt from Wall Street Titan by Anna Zaires
About the Author
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is purely coincidental.
Original Title: Lui Vuole Me
© 2016 Ava Lohan
Copyright © 2020 Grey Eagle Publications LLC
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All rights reserved.
Except for use in a review, no part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission.
Published by Grey Eagle Publications, LLC.
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Cover by Najla Qamber Designs
www.najlaqamberdesigns.com
Photography by Wander Aguiar
www.wanderbookclub.com
Translation by Catherine Grace
ISBN: 978-1-64366-186-5
Print ISBN: 978-1-64366-187-2
Chapter One
It should have been a day like any other at Saint Clare. One day closer to taking my vows. Until I did, I wasn’t technically a nun yet, even if I had made the decision to become one when I joined the convent. I had no idea why Mother Superior had called me to her office today.
“I don’t know anything,” said Sister Matilda—or Sister Ginger, as the other novices called her in honor of her copper locks—as harsh as ever. “I just know she asked me to bring you to her.”
Sister Ginger had never liked me much. She led the way, and I stopped asking questions and followed her up the stairs. Passing other novices in the hallway, I noticed their curious glances, but frigid Ginger was walking too quickly for me to explain to them that I had been summoned by Mother Superior.
My heart was beating with pure joy, and my face broke into a proud smile. I was the one. I had been chosen for something. It must have been for my devotion.
Mother Superior had definitely warmed up to me over the past two years. Even the other novices noticed she was less severe with me than with the others. She even flashed the occasional smile in my direction. But I had never been called to her office until that day.
I straightened my white dress.
Sister Ginger opened the door to announce my arrival and then left me alone in Mother Superior’s private office.
The first thing I did was look around the room, which I found fascinating since it was my first time seeing it. The only piece of furniture was a dark wooden desk. The warm June sunlight shone through the window behind Mother Superior and a large crucifix hung from the wall behind me, alongside portraits of saints.
Mother Superior stood up as I entered, rosary in hand.
“Sister Rose, welcome.”
She slipped her rosary over her head and then came to greet me at the door. A strange gesture, coming from her.
“This is my private office. What do you think?”
I could only nod my head in approval.
She reached out to hold my hands, as if to tell me she was there for me, that I could count on her support. Her smile, however, didn’t match the sadness in her eyes. With the back of her hand, she caressed my cheek. My brow furrowed. It wasn’t like Mother Superior to initiate physical contact with us. Not like her at all. A wave of anxiety washed over me.
“Mother, is something wrong?”
I tried my best to remember if I had broken a rule, but I was sure I hadn’t.
She ignored my question and made her way to the window.
“The gardens look completely different from here. The colors seem more vivid. A small slice of Heaven in a sacred place, in this Hell called Earth.” She gestured out the window. “Come and see.”
I joined her at the window and tried to follow her gaze. The flowers had bloomed a while ago. I enjoyed the many colors, but the garden seemed the same from up here as when I walked through it just moments ago.
“Admire the willow, my young Sister.”
Unlike her, I felt nothing.
“How many times I must have prayed in front of that weeping willow when I was a novice like yourself.” She exhaled, lost in thought. “Bowing down, just like us before the Lord. What you see is not simply a tree, but a symbol of pain, chastity, and purity. Who knows how much time it has left.” She shook her head and left me at the window. “Perhaps not much,” she said under her breath, her voice cracking.
I shot her a curious glance.
Mother Superior drew in a deep breath to regain her composure, turning back into the woman we had come to know and respect. Our guide through the life we had chosen.
Not knowing what to say, I peered back at the garden, scanning it for anything more interesting than the willow. Something caught my attention: a black car parked in front of the gate. I immediately forgot about the plants and flowers and stared at the vehicle. It must have cost a fortune; a car like that definitely didn’t go unnoticed. I raised an eyebrow and pressed my palms on the windowsill. Nobody ever parked in front of the convent, but here was this luxury car, as out of place as I would have been in a dance club with my white novice dress on. I leaned out the window to get a better look. People passing by stopped to admire it, partially blocking my view. The driver’s door didn’t open, as if nobody were inside.
“Mother, you should come and see. There’s a car—”
“Salix babylonica. Do you know why they call it that?”
I could feel her staring at my back.
“No.”
Uncomfortable, I picked at my cuticles. The car was still there, but Mother Superior didn’t join me to look at it.
“A real pity,” she replied. “Allow me to let you in on this Christian legend, the only one you should take into consideration.”
Her feet shuffled across the hardwood floor, coming nearer.
“Jesus was making his way up to Calvary. The cross on his back was too heavy, and he fell to the ground. Whipped by the Roman soldiers, he was no longer able to get back up. It was then that a tree took pity on him, bending its branches, allowing Christ to pull himself up. The branches would remain forever bent and the tree was christened the weeping willow, as it too cried for Jesus Christ’s pain.”
She stood behind me now. “Tears and pain,” she murmured. “Tears and pain, Sister.”
The way she repeated it rang sinister in my ears.
As I stood frozen, she did something unexpected: she removed my veil. The symbol of my submission to God slipped through her fingers, falling to the floor. I didn’t know what to say. I ran my hand through my hair as I tried to take in and understand what had just happened. I wanted to bend down to pick up the veil, but before I had the chance, a sound came from behind me and I realized we were no longer alone.
“Tell me, Mr. Anderson, is this the girl?”
Mother Superior held me by the shoulders and turned me around, as if I were an inanimate object. I faced a door I hadn’t noticed before. I blinked hard and went pale as she nudged me to take a step forward.
I could ha
ve recognized those green eyes anywhere. I thought I’d never see them again. They had tortured me for so long, since our first and only encounter. At night, during the day, while I prayed. I flushed, my breath short. The boy from the confessional. Two years had passed and he seemed even more handsome, if that were possible. I couldn’t understand the effect he had on me. His tall frame leaned against the empty wall, his white shirt stretched across his wide shoulders as if it were glued to his skin, barely concealing the muscles underneath. Rolled-up sleeves. Tan complexion. His dark jeans fit perfectly around his thighs, as if they were made just for him. My attempts to prevent my eyes from examining his body were useless. I had no idea what he did for a living, but I was sure that wherever he went, he left lots of fainting women in his wake. He was, without a doubt, the forbidden fantasy of his female co-workers. And at college—which I imagined he had likely just finished—he must have carried out a massacre.
What was he doing in a convent full of nuns?
He caught me admiring him and smiled. I swallowed hard, attempting to clear the knot that had formed in my throat. That smile could have belonged to the devil, persuading all the angels to fall from Heaven. He observed me with an air that reeked of ill intentions. He was bad company, like the guys my parents had prayed I wouldn’t bring home during high school. Despite his tailored clothing, he didn’t seem like the type of man any parent would want for their daughter. I remembered all too well the words he’d said to me that day, and I had the feeling he had continued down that sinful path.
There was something dark in him.
In his eyes.
“Yes.”
And in his voice.
I made the sign of the cross.
“You found her on your first try.” He ran his hands seductively through his hair, turning his gaze upon Mother Superior. “I have to give you credit. You did well.”
“Pleased to have satisfied your request, Mr. Anderson,” she replied, her tone revealing her contempt. “We don’t have many natural blondes at the convent.”
Perplexed, I looked at one, then the other. They stared at each other in silence. I understood less with every minute.
“Mother, what’s going on?”
I walked around the desk to face her, resisting the urge to pick up my veil and put it back on. The man’s eyes followed me in my sacred dress. I pretended it was just Mother Superior and me in the room. Although it was no easy task, I forced myself to ignore his presence.
“You are here as part of an agreement.” Mother Superior finally looked at me. “Mr. Anderson’s grandfather passed away, and now he has inherited the property the convent stands on.”
I couldn’t understand what any of that had to do with me.
Mother Superior took some documents out from a drawer. “Mr. Anderson intends to sell the property at an exorbitant price that the convent simply cannot afford to pay. We cannot save it, Sister Rose.”
“I was thinking of building a luxury hotel. That is, unless…” The man, whose first name I still didn’t know, lit a cigarette, leaving me petrified. Mother Superior flinched, but she remained silent, not wishing to respond to his clear challenge of her authority. Resting her chin in her hands, she glared at him in disgust.
“You’re going to hell, Kegan Anderson.”
Kegan. His name was Kegan.
He took Mother Superior’s words as a compliment. He laughed. A low, sensual laugh.
“Oh, I’m sure of it, Sister.”
He brought the cigarette to his lips. The sexy motion stirred something within me. I glared at him, unsettled by what he planned to do with the convent. A hotel. I hoped it was a bad joke. Kegan squinted, his eyes as green as the leaves of the tree Mother Superior was praising just moments before he walked through the door. “And this is why I am going to give in to every vice until the end of my days. If I’m going to go to hell, I want to go for sins that are worth committing.”
He then turned his attention to me. “Don’t you agree, Sister Rose?” His lips curled in an arrogant sneer.
My jaw dropped open. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Talking like this to two nuns! How could he be so shameless? If I had told Sara, my best friend in the convent, she would have never believed me. Then again, who could possibly believe such a thing would happen to women of the Church?
I grasped the crucifix around my neck, so angry with him I could slap him across the face.
Kegan Anderson, a man I had seen twice in my twenty years on Earth, intended to turn my only home into a hotel, leaving me alone, without the family I had come to know in the past two years. Despite that, when he spoke, I lit up like a match. And I couldn’t stop staring at his body. And the way he said my name... it was as if he were promising trouble.
I raised my hand to my cheek. It was boiling hot with excitement and rage, inside and out.
Kegan looked as if he were about to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” I blurted out. “What’s going to happen to us when you turn this into a hotel?” I continued, gesturing to Mother Superior’s office.
Mother Superior looked at me, astonished. My voice was pure rage, fueled by the thought of losing my home. I was supposed to become a nun in just two weeks. I was supposed to spend the rest of my life inside this convent, where I felt safe. And he, this gorgeous, arrogant being, was here to rip my dream, my sense of security, to shreds.
“We will all be transferred to different convents around the country. I’m sorry, Rose, but I don’t think you will be able to stay with the friends you have made here.”
Mother Superior’s voice reminded me of how my own mother used to comfort me, when she’d tell me that good things could come out of difficult times. But that was never the case. I had lost a family once. I was not going to let it happen again. I held back tears.
“There has to be another way!”
I was nearly yelling, slamming my hands onto the wooden desk. Mother Superior didn’t take her eyes off the papers in her hands. Exhaustion made her appear much older.
As if he couldn’t care less about our pain, Kegan crossed the room to throw his cigarette butt out the window. Mother Superior didn’t seem to notice. As I watched him, my frustration grew. His back was turned to me, giving me the chance to examine him from head to toe. He looked like some sort of god sent down from Mount Olympus to ruin my life. Suddenly, he turned. I quickly averted my eyes, but he had caught me. His soft, perfect lips curled into a smirk.
“Do you have any ideas on how we could remedy this, Sister Rose?” he asked, rubbing his hands together.
“You could donate the convent to us,” I ventured.
I expected him to laugh in my face, but he just stared at me, his head tilted to the side, a lock of hair obscuring his right eye. For a moment, it seemed as if he were taking the idea into consideration, but deep down I knew he couldn’t be.
Only a generous benefactor would have done something like that. And Kegan Anderson was no such thing.
You are here as part of an agreement.
Mother Superior’s words spun around in my head, mixing with what the convent’s new owner had said.
I was thinking of building a luxury hotel. That is, unless…
“Unless what?”
Something in his eyes ignited, glowing brighter than the sun. A cunning smile spread across his face. I had seen that smile only once before, but once had been enough to remember it forever. My heart began to race as I waited for him to answer.
“Unless you decide to spend some time with me.”
I locked eyes with him. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Questions whirled around in my mind like caged hummingbirds. He wanted to spend time with me? Why? He didn’t even know me. Didn’t he have any friends to call up when he got bored? A girlfriend maybe? With that body, he could have as many girls as he wanted.
My mouth hung wide open, but none of the questions managed to escape my lips; the hummingbirds remained caged, the many questions unasked. I hadn�
�t been called to Mother Superior’s office by chance. That was clear. Kegan Anderson had chosen me. He had described me to Mother Superior so well that she had no doubt he was talking about me. Did he really remember me, two years later?
My voice trembled. “Explain.”
What was he going to do with me if I accepted? I wasn’t allowed to leave the convent. He could come visit me when I wasn’t busy, during our hobby time. We could spend time together in the garden or watch TV, something like that. Surely he couldn’t want anything more from me. I wasn’t naive, but I never could’ve believed he was concealing an indecent proposal. I was a woman of the cloth, a novice about to take her vows and become a nun. I was nothing like the girls outside of the convent. My life was dedicated to the Lord. He couldn’t have possibly wanted to sleep with me.
“I’m willing to let you have the convent, to allow you and your sisters to stay here, in exchange for your…” He raised his hand to his forehead, brushing the hair from his eyes. “Time,” he concluded after a long pause.
I turned to face Mother Superior. Despite her hard exterior, I had grown attached to her. How could I possibly say no and let my sisters’ lives be turned upside-down? Kegan just wanted some of my time, and I was willing to give him that.
I relaxed my shoulders.
“Mother, I accept, for you and my sisters,” I announced.
Mother Superior turned violet. Her hands shook on her desk. For perhaps the first time in her life, she didn’t know what to say, remaining silent.