by Ava Lohan
When Finn came back, I didn’t ask a single question about what they’d said, but rather: “Who is the beast?”
Finn’s face lit up. “The boss,” he replied.
“Why do you call him a beast?”
“Because that’s what he is.”
I decided not to ask any more questions.
Finn changed the subject. “He’s in the pool.”
We left the rooms and headed out. Outside, behind the villa, a pool that could put water parks and paradise resorts to shame looked out onto the ocean. It was enormous with a sinuous shape, slim in some points, round in others, all surrounded by dark pavers. The pool was divided by a wooden bridge that extended from one end to the other, leading to one of the gazebos on the right side of this piece of heaven. There were four gazebos in total, right on the water’s edge, as if they were floating on its surface. I imagined that at night, with the lights on, the water took on the color of the ocean, making everything more unbelievable. Women in sunglasses and barely-there bikinis lay out on the sunbeds, but I didn’t pay them any attention as I was too enthralled with the view.
Could hell disguise itself as heaven?
Now I knew it was possible. Oh boy, was it possible.
Lost in the beauty, I forgot about my companion and—for an instant—the reason I was here: Kegan Anderson. I abandoned the view and headed toward the pool. There were ten heads bobbing in the water, and it wasn’t hard to find the one belonging to the number one asshole: thrown back, his face kissed by the sun, his wet hair grazing the surface of the water as a handsome man with black hair sucked on his neck. Surrounding the pool was a full-on scene of kissing and pawing: woman on woman, man on man, man on woman. An orgy disguised as a pool party. My mouth gaped as I observed it all. Jesus Christ. I made a sign of the cross.
Pulling myself together, I crossed the wooden bridge with the composure of a raging bison, trying to get closer to him, though I could never be as close as the man who was now laughing with his mouth pressed against Kegan’s neck. He whispered something that must’ve been as obscene as the show they were putting on, or perhaps even more so. Kegan’s eyes were closed. He seemed relaxed as the man’s hands caressed his chest. Then Kegan opened his eyes, caught the man’s head between his hands, and drew him closer, ramming his tongue into the man’s mouth and rubbing his body against him.
That is, until something caught his attention: me.
I watched as he pulled his lips away from the man and looked me over, slowly, from the ground up, until his eyes met my shocked face. He didn’t seem embarrassed in the least to have me find him in such a state. He flashed me one of his irresistible smiles. Maybe for him, this was all normal. But the threatening glance he shot at Finn, who had managed to catch up to me, made me think that he was not so happy to see us, after all.
“Who gave you permission to take her outside?”
His voice was pure irritation. It made blood rush to my brain. Take me outside? I was a person, not a dog that you take out to pee!
“He needs permission?” I asked, furious.
Kegan paid me no attention. “I told Lexi to bring her to her room and leave her there. You knew that.”
Well, at least I knew the snobby bitch’s name now.
The guy who, until seconds ago, had been the center of Kegan’s attention slowly backed away from the scene as sparks began to fly. Lots of poolside loungers were now watching us.
Stopped dead in his tracks by those green eyes, Finn replied, “Your nun has something she needs to tell you, immediately. She said that if she didn’t—”
“A million dollars?” I hissed, cutting Finn off.
My guide had no idea what I was talking about, but Kegan sure did.
Something flashed in his eyes when they met mine. He swam to the ladder, not saying a word. As he crossed the bridge toward me, it was almost impossible to not drool all over myself. Kegan was perfection. Perfection itself, walking toward me. He was wearing a tight black swimsuit that left little to the imagination. He ran his hand through his wet hair, pushing it away from his face. His green eyes sparkled in the sun, making them stand out even more against his bronzed complexion. Kegan Anderson had the body of a god, thanks to the gym—or more likely, thanks to his marathon sex sessions. Admiring his six-pack, I noticed a silver ring in his left nipple. I didn’t want to think about how many tongues had licked it. Only God knew the exact number. A tribal tattoo covered his left side, partially concealed by his swimsuit. The drops of water on his skin whispered lick me as they dripped down his chest toward the waistband of his swimsuit. I suspected I would soon see what was under there. Kegan was a treat for the eyes, and everyone was admiring him. I wasn’t at all surprised that men and women paid to have him.
And there it was again, the wave of heat washing over my core.
He was standing in front of me now. I took my eyes off his body just in time. I tried not to seem embarrassed by how gorgeous he was. He ran his fingers over the tattoo, and I made the terrible mistake of following them with my eyes, taking the bait.
“It’s a dragon.”
I didn’t understand.
With his fingers, he stretched the waistband of his swimsuit, revealing another part of the tattoo. “Now he’s resting. Tell me, Sister Rose, do you think you can wake him up and make him spit fire?”
As soon as I understood his little game, I blushed like a virgin. I mentally slapped myself across the face a few times. I was falling right into his trap, allowing him to make me feel uncomfortable. I had insisted on seeing him for a reason, and I wasn’t going to let him send me back to my room with my tail between my legs.
“One million dollars,” I repeated, tilting my head. My voice rose almost to a shout. “You had no intention of opening a hotel.”
I wanted to be sure that the message was clear. I may have been a novice, but I wasn’t stupid or naive.
“The convent isn’t even worth that much,” I added in conclusion.
He ran his wet hand through my hair. “What about you, Sister Rose? Do you think you’re worth all that money?” He issued his challenge in a playful tone.
I quickly brushed his hand away. “I think you’ve overestimated me,” I said.
Kegan raised his eyebrow as I continued.
“I’ve seen the women who work here; they could’ve come straight off the Victoria’s Secret runway.”
He bit his bottom lip before running his tongue over it, as if what I said had no effect on him, as if he wanted to rip my clothes off right then and there. He reached for me again, this time aiming for my shoulder, and slipped his hands underneath the straps of my tank top and bra. I felt his wet hands on my skin and my whole body shivered.
“I like you dressed like this.” He sounded sincere.
As I stood there, studying the expression on his face, I didn’t even notice that Finn had gone away, leaving us on the wooden bridge like a couple in love waiting to watch the sunset. But we weren’t a couple. And we weren’t in love. And the person standing in front of me was not a normal guy, but a divinity ruling over a sexual paradise for the wealthy and uninhibited. With equally lascivious employees. He had the face of an angel, yet he was anything but. Kegan Anderson was a puppet master, controlling this whole perverse place. And he had forced me to leave the safe, sacred walls of my convent for this dangerous and filthy house of pleasure.
A woman approached us. She had a perfect body and short, black hair. She was definitely a few years older than I. She clung to Kegan’s body and stared me down as if she were staking her claim over him. Her body, covered—if we could really call it that—by a lime green bikini, pushed against Kegan, who didn’t blink an eye as he continued holding my gaze. She licked drops of water off his bicep as if I weren’t there. Then she turned her head to face me without releasing her grip.
“Who’s the little girl?”
I regained my footing, remembering the words of the fake blonde outside my door. Ignoring the woman’s comme
nts, I continued my conversation with Kegan. “I won’t sell out and become one of them,” I said, lacing the last word with as much disgust as I could muster.
“You have little wild one on your hands,” the woman said, moving to lick Kegan’s collarbone.
With one finger she caressed his nipple piercing. I saw him flinch slightly.
“If you like little girls, I can dress like schoolgirl, just for you,” she whispered, her foreign accent entrancing me.
He could’ve whispered his response to her, but he wanted me to hear it too. Our eyes were practically glued to each other—he couldn’t take his gaze off of me—and I wasn’t going to back down and let the dark-haired woman win.
“Tereza, go get ready for tonight,” he said.
She stopped licking him to play with his hair.
“But it’s only—”
“I said go get ready for tonight,” he repeated, peeling her off him like a jacket he didn’t want to wear.
Kegan ignored her protests. It was only four-thirty in the afternoon; it didn’t take much to understand that it was all just an excuse to get her to go away. And I had just unwittingly played a part in his refusal of her. I could feel her pain and shame. I would’ve liked to console her, but she shot me a furious look. I jumped back, realizing there was nothing I could do. She was blaming me. I swallowed hard, knowing I had just made a new enemy who could make my time in this strange place even worse.
“As you wish,” she spit out, like venom.
Kegan prevented me from following her, moving even closer to me.
“So, where were we?” He pretended to be lost in thought. “Ah, right, Sister. You were just saying you didn’t want to become one of them.”
His wet body now pushed against my clothes. I took a step back, glancing down at my old shoes, and the right corner of his perfect mouth curled into a half smile.
Kegan ran his index finger up my neck, slowly, until he reached my bottom lip. He then raised his middle finger and placed both between my lips before pushing them into my mouth. No boy had ever done that to me before. I was stunned. He pulled them back slowly.
“You have no idea what I have in store for you.”
Chapter Five
That night I ate alone in my room. I had no desire to join the employees and be the object of their attention. I was the new one. The nun. The truth about me would spread around Lust as fast as one of the plagues of Egypt. There was no way Lexi was going to keep her mouth shut. I could already imagine how she would make fun of me with the other prostitutes, labeling me a God-fearing virgin. The thought bothered me. I hardly ate. Every sound outside my door put me on edge. But nobody knocked on the door, with the exception of the waitress who came to take my plate away.
I kneeled in front of the window to pray, tears streaming down my face. I thought about Sara and how proud she was of me, going away to take care of my nonexistent great-aunt who was suffering from a nonexistent illness. I felt so guilty that my heart ached.
I had no idea how this was supposed to work: if Kegan Anderson would just show up at my room, or if he would have someone come and get me in the middle of the night. Maybe he would just let me be. The novice in me hoped for the latter. I prayed the next two weeks would go by without any trouble, without anything to weigh on my conscience, without my participation in deplorable activities. I hoped he was already tired of me, before he’d even had me.
The high school girl, on the other hand, the one who’d never thought she would become a nun, hoped he would burst through the door and “take care of me,” as Finn had put it this afternoon. Obviously, I would never admit to that.
I hadn’t touched or been touched by a guy in two years. The idea of Kegan being the one to break the spell was exhilarating. I scolded myself at the thought. That kiss we never had still tormented me. What would it have been like? His tongue dancing with mine, him taking over my mouth like he did with that guy in the pool.
A slight shiver ran through my body.
I couldn’t sleep. Around midnight, I got up to look around the room. The drawers were full of sexy and colorful lingerie. Lace and satin, designed to seduce. I was alone in the room, the door was locked, and I couldn’t resist the temptation. I tried on a set and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Vanity took over. I let down my hair. Cascading blond locks against see-through red lace. I didn’t look half bad, but I felt ridiculous and ashamed. At least I appeared slightly older. The more I looked at my reflection, the more comfortable I felt. The cups of the bra fit perfectly. I ran my finger along the edge and admired myself in the mirror. I had never seen myself in something so beautiful, so provocative. And the drawer was full of different styles and colors for me to try.
I threw myself onto the bed, surrounded by the lingerie I had pulled out of the drawer. I wondered if he had bought it just for me, or if it was there already for the employees or clients who had used the room before me.
I stared at the ceiling, holding the lace between my fingers. That bitch Lexi had warned me I wouldn’t need my suitcase. These things were already here. Every room must’ve had a selection. Kegan could definitely afford it. The fact that they fit me perfectly must’ve been a stroke of luck.
Half past midnight. I got up and started going through the closet. I opened it up to see it was a walk-in. A big one. I let out a sound in surprise and stepped through the door. There was a shoe rack full of beautiful shoes, all brand new, all with heels. I slipped on a sexy black pair. They fit perfectly. I tried on the others; they were all exactly my size. I left them all on the floor and went to have a look at the dresses. Lots of them were short, but some were a bit longer. All of them my size. Could this have been a happy coincidence too? Maybe Kegan had just guessed, or maybe he had asked Mother Superior everything about me, bra size and shoe size included. To have done all of this, he must’ve been sure I wouldn’t refuse his deal. I tried not to think about it too much and went back to examine the rest of the wardrobe.
Some shelves contained makeup, others swimsuits and seductive see-through nightgowns.
Two years ago, I would’ve been the happiest girl in the world to find myself surrounded by these things. I loved shopping, I loved clothes. But now my wardrobe consisted of identical religious gowns. I’d gotten used to them in time; they’d helped me forget about everything outside of Saint Clare. A world that I used to love, but slowly forgot.
I grabbed the first swimsuit. A black bikini. An idea ran through my head as I held it in my hands. I wasn’t a prisoner. I had to stay at Lust, but I could leave my room. I took off the red lace number and slipped on the bikini. I then covered up with the clothes I’d worn that afternoon: a black tank and white jeans. After lacing up my white sneakers, I opened the door and slipped out into the hallway.
Finn had brought me to the pool through a series of back halls that clients couldn’t access. I heard voices in the distance, but staying on the path I had memorized that afternoon, I didn’t run into anyone.
I wanted to go for a swim, or at least dip my feet in the water and look at the moon. That couldn’t be against the rules. I just had to hope the pool was empty. Luckily for me, it was. Totally empty. Just for me.
Just like that afternoon, the view took my breath away. At night, it was even more amazing than I could’ve imagined. The empty gazebos were lit up by soft lights. But the best part was the water. Illuminated by LEDs, the pool was a rainbow of colors: purple, yellow, red, blue. I could’ve stared at it for hours. I was hypnotized. A soft ocean breeze caressed my arms. If I concentrated, I could even hear the waves in the distance. I hadn’t heard them in years. When I was younger, my parents would rent a house on Tybee Island, just an hour from Aldon. I loved the ocean. As I grew up, though, I started to feel like a loser when I went on vacation with my parents while all my girlfriends went on trips together. So, for three years in a row, I went with Jenna and her family instead. Then, after graduation, we went to Jacksonville Beach alone. Just us, her boyfriend, and a
few other friends. It was the best and the worst summer of my life.
Walking around the pool, I reached the side that faced the ocean. Illuminated stairs led to the beach. I wanted to touch the sand, dig my fingers in and walk barefoot along the shore. But first, I wanted to take a dip in the pool, in that sea of light. I was sure Kegan wasn’t thinking about me, not now. He was probably off having fun with a client. I took off my jeans and tank. Wearing just a bikini, I walked over to the ladder and got in.
The water was cold; it came up to my belly button and made me shiver. It took me a while to get used to it. I swam until I reached a circular part of the pool where the water was a bit deeper and a bright shade of blue. I missed swimming in pools as much as I missed the ocean. It was a luxury that nuns were not allowed. I held on to the wall and enjoyed the soft touch of the water on my neck and the peaceful night air. It was so calming that I closed my eyes. I couldn’t hear a thing. No sound came from the house. I stayed there, relaxing in peace, until a voice cut through the silence.
“I didn’t think you would leave your room.”
My eyes shot open and I gasped, swallowing water.
Had he gone to my room? I coughed and covered my mouth with my hand.
Kegan was watching me from the bridge, more or less where he had surprised me that afternoon. I realized I was in a swimsuit, practically naked, and blushed. Maybe it was stupid, but I crossed my arms over my chest, though I knew it was useless and he’d only be amused. I couldn’t see his face. I had no idea what expression he could be making. Even from a distance, I could feel his eyes on me. His gaze was like a flame. It warmed one’s skin, flushed one’s cheeks, but getting too close could be dangerous. And if he reached me, there was no way I would survive.