by Ava Lohan
“I think he completely forgot about your old room and the rest of your things. Since I was going to bring you the check, I thought I would see if there was anything you might need in there. That’s how I found your suitcase.”
What the hell was I supposed to say? A hurricane of swear words brewed in my mind. I made a sound best described as a growl. I ran my hands through my hair in desperation. Jesus Christ, what had Finn done? Kegan was not going to be happy. He’d wanted Finn to get rid of the bracelet. I was dead to him.
“What the hell am I doing here?”
“Trying to get your beast back.”
“Trying?!” I repeated on the verge of hysterics.
“I don’t know if this is going to work, but I think you have a good chance.” Finn thought he was encouraging me, but there was nothing that could have boosted my confidence at that moment. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Anxiety flowed through my veins. But I was here—I couldn’t go back. If Lexi had been here I would have asked her to drive me back to Jenna’s apartment. But she was with her son that day, far from Lust.
We always have a choice. We can choose to go with the flow, or we can choose to go against it. I thought back to what Jenna had said, about everything that had happened. I’d finally been ready to accept that it was all meant to be. My father had had a heart attack. Everything that had happened that night would have happened anyway, whether Kegan had been there or not. It had taken me months to accept it. Then it was only a matter of days before I’d decided to go back to Kegan.
Kegan had become part of my life before all of this. Since the day in the confessional, Kegan had taken possession of my mind. Just like I had taken over his thoughts, even if I hadn’t known who he was. I had accepted this, too. Now I was here. Kegan hadn’t actually summoned me, but now it was too late. I was here to try and change things between us. To start over. I was going to get my beast back, or at least I was going to try. If I failed, I would need a heart transplant. Mine was already broken, and if tonight didn’t go as I hoped, it would become impossible to mend.
“You know what?” I said, looking Finn right in the eyes. “Jenna is right, you are an asshole. And a jerk too.”
I started to walk away but Finn stopped me. “Hey, Rose? I wanted to ask if I have your permission to ask your friend out.”
I couldn’t believe he was serious. “If I said no would you do it anyway?”
“Hmm…. lemme think about that for a minute,” he said, tapping his finger on his chin and pretending to be lost in thought. “Yes,” he said finally, completely indifferent to my homicidal expression.
I rolled my eyes and walked away, flipping him off before he ran off to Kegan’s apartment. My heels echoed down the hall as I slowly made my way to Room 405. As always, the music greeted me at the door. Turned out the bar was just as festive as the rest of Lust. All the bartenders were wearing Santa hats, and the girls were wearing tiny red costumes that left little to the imagination. I ignored the room full of clients and employees and headed straight for the room where I would wait for Kegan. Where he had once waited for me.
I lay down on the couch and waited. I tried to concentrate on the music to distract myself from my heartbeat and from the fear that made me weak in the knees. I was going to see Kegan again. And not just in a picture on my cell phone or on Jenna’s computer monitor. The music wasn’t working. All I could think about were my nerves. I checked my phone. Kegan was late. Jenna had messaged me for an update. The wait was torturous.
Then the door opened and my phone vibrated simultaneously with a new message from Jenna. Kegan stepped into the middle of the room and looked at me. Finn must not have told him that I’d booked him. My presence shook him, but he got over it so quickly that it made me doubt I was doing the right thing.
I sat shaking on the couch. Kegan didn’t seem to notice. I opened my mouth to speak but decided to wait. I wanted to hear what Kegan had to say. I couldn’t wait to hear him speak—it didn’t even matter what he said. I wanted nothing more than to hear the sound of his voice again.
He studied me for a minute, then finally spoke. “One million and one hundred thousand dollars?”
Not, “I love you." Not, “I missed you.” Not, “I hoped you would come back,” or any other romance movie line. No, Kegan was all about the money. I made a face and tried not to let myself get distracted by his arched eyebrow, his devastatingly gorgeous face, or the voice that I’d missed so much. I’d missed him so much. With him standing right in front of me, I was able to quantify exactly how much I’d missed him: I’d longed for him like I would have longed to walk had I never been able to. He’d become indispensable to me. I needed Kegan like I needed my legs, and this need was making me lose my mind. I wanted to jump off the couch and into his arms. Kegan, however, didn’t seem that eager to have me flying toward him. Maybe he would have welcomed it but knew how to hide it. Kegan was a master of self-control.
I forced myself to stay calm. “You’re ten minutes late. That means I can keep you for ten hours longer. One for every minute you kept me waiting.” If he could feign detachment, then I could too.
He took a step forward. I tried to appear cold and collected, but my blood was burning like lava as it pumped through my veins. I was melting, but Kegan couldn’t see it. Or maybe he could. Maybe his hypnotic eyes had magic powers and he could see what his presence was doing to me. And he hadn’t even kissed me or touched me. I was desperate.
“Do you want me to take my clothes off?” he asked in a seductive tone. He wanted to set the rules.
But finally, I was the one paying, and I would decide. I nodded without losing my cool. “Take off your clothes,” I ordered. “Take it all off.”
He flashed his asshole smile, making me realize how much I'd missed that too. He did as I told him. I didn’t take my eyes off him for a second. I watched as his hands slowly freed his body from his clothes, revealing himself bit by bit. He kept his boxers on and approached me. He kept looking at my dress without making any comments. “Don’t ask me to dance on the pole. I’ll only dance between your legs.”
My body began to shake.
He stopped in front of me at arm’s length. I could have reached out and touched him, but I forced my hands to stay in my lap.
Kegan took off his boxers, taking my breath away. From his erection, I could tell that he really did like the gold dress. He slid on a condom. “I’m all yours. Want me to dance?” He was testing me and was curious to hear my answer.
I had to say something. Anything. I couldn’t risk losing control of the situation. But what? My brain was so distracted by what my eyes saw that it couldn’t come up with anything clever to say. “What…” I started. Shit—my voice cracked. I swallowed and got my throat back under control. “What can I have for one million, one hundred thousand dollars?” I placed my hand on his tattoo and felt his muscles contract underneath my fingertips.
“It’s a holiday. A million dollars is the base rate to have sex with me tonight. That’s what you can have,” he said firmly. His green eyes stared hard at me as I slid my hand slowly down the dragon. It felt like a real business negotiation—I couldn’t tell if Kegan was joking or serious. I feared it was the latter. It was almost impossible to hide how shocked I was by his behavior.
“I want to kiss you too.” I stopped my fingers at the dragon’s mouth, right at the base of his erection.
“You only have one hundred thousand dollars left,” Kegan warned me. “Do you remember how much it costs to kiss me?” He pushed my hand away from his body and leaned toward me. His lips were within reach of mine. His eyes were locked on mine. I let my nerves get the best of me and looked away. Shit. Now he knew I was trying to escape from his power. Kegan grabbed my chin in his hand and forced me to look up at him. To get lost in his eyes.
All I could feel were his fingers on me. My face burned with his touch. I hadn’t felt a fire in my cheeks like that for months, and now, with just his thumb and index finger
, he’d made my body reveal my embarrassment. My flushed cheeks betrayed me. My throat went dry. His eyes glistened in the light. I just wanted a damn kiss.
“All right then. One million dollars for kisses, and one hundred thousand for everything else.”
He burst out laughing. “You said you’d never pay for a kiss, and now you’d like to pay me for five?” His expression changed. His features softened and his eyes looked at me with an adoring gaze. Kegan was looking at me like I was his goddess. I reciprocated.
“I’ve said a lot of things.”
He ran his index finger over my cheek until he reached a lock of hair. “Take your panties off and lie down.” Kegan was back to his detached self. “Just your panties. And your shoes.”
“I’m wearing a thong,” I corrected him. “And it matches my dress.” Kegan ran his hand over his face and closed his eyes for a second. He let out a groan. “Then take that thong off immediately.” He’d lost control.
I spread my legs apart and he followed my hands with his eyes. I took off my panties and shoes. I lay down and he joined me on the sofa.
“Lift your dress up a little bit,” he ordered.
I immediately followed his command. So much for being in control.
Kegan got on his knees and looked at me with his head tilted to the side. My body was burning up.
“Do you know how risky this is?” he asked, throwing my legs over his shoulders. “You could be out one million and one hundred thousand dollars.”
I heard what he’d said, but all I could think about was his erection pressing against me. Why did he always have to be like this? Why couldn’t he just give me what I wanted?
“Damn it, enough already. Kiss me and fuck me.” My mouth hadn’t consulted my brain. I tried to get out of the position, but he grabbed me by the ankles. The only thing my words had managed to achieve was a trail of kisses down my leg.
“I could always just send you on your way once we’re done. You know that, right?”
I refused to consider that possibility. “I’ll take my chances,” I almost roared at him.
I’d never been one to lose control, but with Kegan touching me and testing me like this, I had no hopes of keeping my cool. Months had passed since we’d last been together, and my body yearned for what he was denying me like never before. I covered my eyes with my arms and prayed to the Lord that he wouldn’t do it. That he wouldn’t send me away, that he wouldn’t throw away what we had. I was still lost in my silent prayer when he entered me. I let out a cry. He thrusted slowly, making me feel every inch. I propped myself up on my elbows and watched him, just like he watched me. I did more than just watch though—I admired him. I took in the expression on his face. I loved the feeling of his body moving against mine. It made me realize how much I’d missed all of this. And not just the sex. My body needed him—every part of him—in order to live. Before I'd met Kegan, and after I’d left him, I wasn’t living. I was just breathing. I realized it in that moment. I rested my head on the soft arm of the couch, closed my eyes, and concentrated on his thrusting.
“Were you with anyone these months?”
“Mmmm,” I moaned, my mouth still disconnected from my brain. He’d asked me something but his movements were clouding up my mind and confusing me. He must have asked if I liked it.
“Yeah, oh yeah,” I murmured, arching my back to let him go deeper. I wanted to feel all of him inside me.
But Kegan pulled away, his hold on my legs getting tighter. “Yes?!” he barked.
My eyes shot open. The muscles in his neck were stiff. He looked like he was about to explode. I couldn’t understand what his problem was.
“Did you have sex with someone else?” he asked slowly, making me suddenly realize what he had asked me before.
“No!” I yelled out. Go to bed with someone else? Lord, no. I hadn’t so much as thought of it. If I wasn’t in the flower shop, I was taking care of Jethro. Then Jenna and I’d spent our evenings zoning out in front of the TV. We’d gone out sometimes, when Jenna’s aunt could watch Jethro, but the guys that had tried to hit on me had never stood a chance. That Kegan thought he had a right to ask irritated me.
“I’m nothing like you,” I responded.
My retort made him smile. “Thank God. So, it wasn’t a yeah, but a yeeeah,” he responded, thoroughly enjoying himself. If I’d still had my thong on it would’ve been soaking wet. My eyes were begging for more. Luckily, he didn’t make me wait long and went back to what he was doing. My hips moved in sync with his. I murmured his name. “Yes?” he responded. He moved slowly, as if he wanted this to last forever. My body was overwhelmed with pleasure.
“Yes,” I confirmed.
He pushed my legs off his shoulders and pressed his chest against mine, covering me completely with his body. He was on top of me. He was inside me. Our moans filled the private room.
“Please, kiss me, please,” I begged him, tugging on his hair. I’d never wanted his kiss so much. I had months of abstinence to make up for. He licked my lips. I thought my heart might burst. Kegan was driving me crazy. He just kept going, holding himself up on his forearms. Then, all of a sudden, he kissed me and I felt complete, in a way I never had been before. The pain of those months apart was swept away by our bodies, joined together just like our mouths. I felt like I’d never left. I hoped it was the same for him. That he felt the same things I was feeling.
“Two hundred thousand,” he whispered before kissing me a second time. “Four hundred thousand,” he said, his mouth whispering into mine.
I let go of his hair and put my hands on his back. I gasped, overwhelmed by what Kegan was doing to me. His kisses were worth every dollar. Kegan sucked and licked my lower lip. I thought I might lose my mind. I squirmed against him, putting his self-control to the test. He let out a guttural sound that vibrated through my body and started thrusting faster.
“Are you still here?”
Was I ever. Mentally, physically. Completely.
I came, letting out a scream as he continued pumping inside me. I tried to control my breathing as he changed positions. He grabbed my thigh and wrapped my leg around his waist. He slowly pulled his hips away before plunging into me, hard and deep. Again and again and again. All I could do was say his name. Kegan was the only thing my mind could focus on. The only word my mouth could say. Nothing else existed. He gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead that I highly doubted would bring me up to six hundred thousand dollars. I was just about to climax again when Kegan stopped. I couldn’t believe it—my body was ready to explode.
“Kegan,” I said, as if I were scolding him. I took his face in my hands and breathed on his swollen lips. I let out a groan of disappointment, the only sound my mouth was capable of making. I writhed underneath him, letting my body speak for me. I rotated my hips and pushed myself on him. I could tell by his face that he was not going to give in and indulge me.
“No. Fuck, Rose, don’t do that,” he said hoarsely.
I kept going.
“Rose,” he warned me. “Do you want me to lose my mind? It’s your fault I don’t want this to end. You’re so tight, I don’t ever want to stop. I want to stay inside you forever. I don’t care if I never eat or see my aquarium again.”
My breathing went back to normal.
“Would you like it if I stayed inside you forever?”
His words made my entire body tingle. “Yes, I would… I—”
My attempt at saying I love you was halted by another kiss, more passionate than ever before. Kegan was claiming me as his, branding my tongue with his own. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see his name engraved in my mouth once this was all over. His body came back to life and his thrusts became faster and faster without interrupting the supernatural kiss that was sending shock waves through every part of my body.
His lips parted from mine. “Eight hundred thousand dollars and you’re about to come,” he whispered in my ear.
I raised my hips off the couch and my bo
dy proved him right. Intoxicated by the orgasm, I could only feel his hands on my body, and before I could open my eyes, I was on top of him, straddling him with my legs. He had no intention of letting me go. No intention of leaving me. Not yet, at least. We stopped to catch our breath. His hands went up and down my back. I started to peel my dress off, to feel his hands on my skin, but he stopped me and held my wrists against my thighs.
“Why did you come back?” His green eyes were sucking me in like a black hole.
“Because you’re my Africa.” I moved my hands and he let go of my wrists. I reached down to touch his face as he blinked his eyes. Feeling his skin under my fingers was an amazing sensation.
“Is that it?” he prodded with glistening eyes.
“I came back because I love you.” I pressed my nose against Kegan’s and opened my heart to him once more. “I know it wasn’t your fault, that the same thing would have happened even without you there.” I didn’t go into specifics; I didn’t want to ruin the moment. Kegan winced below me but stayed silent, so I continued.
“Over these past few months I've learned that I love you more than I thought, and that this thing between us is right. There are no more secrets to come between us.” His hands ran back up my spine. I kissed the corner of his mouth. “This is right,” I repeated, kissing him all over. I was just about to put my mouth on Kegan’s when he whispered “It’s not time to get to a million yet.”
He held me by the hips and started thrusting again. I sank my nails into his shoulders. His moves were no longer slow: he was wild, almost primitive. A growl bellowed out from his throat, completely overwhelming me. Kegan kept pushing up into me. I yelled out his name and moaned, over and over. I couldn’t stay quiet. His hands traced the contours of my body until he grabbed onto my face to hold it still. He pressed his fingers into my cheeks. His tongue entered my mouth forcefully, finally silencing me. His kiss was as violent as his thrusts. We both shook and breathed heavily. From the look in his eyes I could tell he was close, too. We were both right on the edge. Then I came, screaming his name. He let out a deep roar and shook with spasms of pleasure. I stroked his hair. His heart was beating out of his chest. Kegan rested his forehead on mine and I thought I would never move again. I could have stayed there with him inside me forever. But Kegan had other ideas. He broke away from me and moved me to the side, looking at me with a satisfied grin.