by Mercedes G
“Where were you last night Taysia?” he asked while rubbing lotion on his arms.
“Don’t worry about where the fuck I was!” I said with an attitude. I had my phone in my hand playing Candy Crush. I wasn’t really into the game; I was just playing it so that I could ignore him.
“Don’t play with me Tay! Where did you stay last night?” I stood up to go use the bathroom but he blocked me so that I couldn’t go past him with my phone in my hand.
“I said don’t fucking worry about it!” I pushed past him, went in the bathroom and slammed the door. I wasn’t in the bathroom a good minute when I heard Usher’s voice singing.
If there's a question of my heart, you've got it
It don't belong to anyone but you
If there's a question of my love, you've got it
Baby don't worry, I've got plans for you
Baby, I've been making plans, oh love
Baby, I've been making plans
Baby, I've been making plans
Baby, I've been making plans for you
Y’all, I swear, a bitch ain’t never been this scared before in my life. Even though JaMel had cheated on me and got MeMe pregnant, I did not want him to find out about me and Mega. I still loved JaMel; he was my husband and you just don’t stop loving someone overnight. I was so fucking scared that I didn’t even have time to wipe my pussy. I pulled my pants up and came running out the bathroom.
“Yo, what the fuck is this Taysia?” JaMel said with my phone that Mega had given me in his hand. If only I could just disappear right now.
“Give me my phone!” I tried to reach for it but he snatched it back.
“The fuck you mean your phone. This ain’t your phone! Where the iPhone at that you just had in your hand?” It was in my back pocket.
“Oh my God, JaMel quit playing and give my damn phone!” I dived on him and he was holding Mega’s phone too tight. We were all over the living room floor fighting over the phone. He was too fucking strong though. I couldn’t get it to save my life so I bit his hand and he let it go. I picked up the phone and threw it against the wall, trying to break it on purpose and it did.
“Damn Taysia, that shit is that serious that you broke the phone? It must have been some serious shit up in there? That’s what’s up! I’m out!” He grabbed his phone and keys and headed towards the door. I felt bad. I don’t know why we women are like that. A nigga pulls some shit on us and not give a fuck but soon as we pull some shit on them and get caught, we feel bad as hell. All I could do was cry. These mixed emotions and shit I was having, needed to end. JaMel walked out and slammed the door. He came barging back in and I jumped.
“Whose car that is out there?” he asked. I didn’t say anything. “You can’t hear? Whose car is that outside my house, Taysia?”
“It’s mine JaMel! Damn!” I screamed.
“Yours? Since when can you afford a $200,000 car? And where the fuck is the car that I bought you?”
“I was in a car accident yesterday, okay! Somebody hit me from the back and drove off! I wasn’t hurt! So I went out and bought me another car!” Lord I didn’t know how to lie to save my life.
“You went out and bought a $200, 000 dollar car?” He laughed. “I guess now you think I’m stupid, huh? Keep yo’ lies Taysia and do what the fuck you want with them!” He walked back out and I ran outside behind him.
“JaMel come back! Let’s talk about this!” I screamed as the tears rolled down my face.
“Oh now you want to talk, but when shit was all my fault yesterday, you didn’t want to talk. Get the fuck outta here with that shit Taysia! I’m gone!” He opened his car door but I wouldn’t let him close it.
“Where are you going?” I yelled at him. I already knew where he was trying to go when he came out of the room all dressed up and shit.
“I’m going to see my first born! Something you’re washed up ass couldn’t give me!” He snatched the door from me and closed it. He backed out of our yard and left me standing there crying. Those words pierced my soul. JaMel had never talked to me that way. At this point I just wanted my old life back; the life I had before I met Mega. Maybe I would’ve never found out my husband was cheating. My life was all fucked up. Not only that but I was pregnant. Lord, what am I going to do? I called JaMel’s phone but he had turned it off. It was crazy how these tables just kept turning. I didn’t even try to get in touch with Mega. The phone he had given me was shattered. At this point I was just done with everything. I went back inside of the house to calm down and get my mind right.
Chapter 25
NaTaysia
Three months had gone by and I had pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth. I had changed my number and all. The only person that knew my whereabouts was Kira. I was now living in Albany, GA. It was a lonely night and I was sick as a dog. I was four months pregnant and this baby was kicking my ass. I wasn’t having morning sickness because I was practically sick throughout the entire day.
JaMel and Mega had been trying to reach me through Kira. I had been drained trying to manage two niggas at one time, plus dealing with my husband’s infidelities as well, including my own. I had to get off of social media for a while, because MeMe was sharing and posting pics up of JaMel and her baby constantly. I had starting having suicidal thoughts and everything, because I was so hurt about this. I distanced myself from everyone. My husband didn’t even know where I was. I know that even though we left each other on bad terms, that he still loved me and was worried sick about me. I’m not even gone front; I missed the hell out of my husband. He and I had put in too much time together. He was my first everything, so there was always a place in my heart for him regardless of what he had done to me. If we weren’t going to be together then we could at least be friends.
“What’s up bitch?” I answered the phone. It was Kira calling me at 12’oclock a.m.
“You up?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m up.”
“JaMel wants to talk to you, Tay. I think you should at least talk to the man and let him know that you are doing fine. You’ll never be able to move forward in your life if you don’t forgive. Forgive for yourself, not for him. Just talk to him so that you can get closure, move forward, or whatever it is that you want to do. You can’t just stay cooped up in that apartment driving yourself crazy like this.” That’s right; I had gone out and rented an apartment.
Kira was right. I had to get my shit together, whether it was with or without JaMel. She still didn’t know that I was pregnant. No one did. I hadn’t even been to the doctor. All I was doing is eating every day and throwing everything that I ate back up. That’s what my days consisted of. I had even stopped working. I was paying my bills off of the money I had saved up. I was so sick during this pregnancy that I just didn’t have the energy to do anything, but sit in the house all day.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right Kira. Everything happened so fast that JaMel and I never really had a chance to talk about anything. I’m about to call him. I’ll call you tomorrow boo, and let you know how it went,” I told Kira.
“Okay, and Tay, please don’t get on the phone acting all hard and shit like you don’t care when you know you do.”
“I won’t.” We hung up the phone and I took a deep breath before I called JaMel. It had been so long since I dialed his number I’m surprised that I remembered it.
“Hello.” His voice seemed as if it had gotten deeper since the last time we spoke.
“Hey Mel. It’s Tay.” I really wanted to cry hearing his voice. It had been three whole months since we’d last seen or talked to each other.
“Ah man, I’m so glad to hear your voice bae. You okay?” he asked. I could hear the sincerity in his voice.
“Yeah, I’m good. How you been?” I asked.
“I’ve been miserable ma. Ain’t gon lie, I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Mel.” I really didn’t know what to say. I did miss JaMel. I miss the way that we were a few months ago before all o
f this extra shit came into play.
“Well come home then,” he said. I was ecstatic inside that he wanted me to come home. I just don’t think I could. At least not right now.
“Mel, I have so much going on right now; things I’m dealing with within myself. If I were to come home right now it still wouldn’t be right. I’m still having a hard time accepting the fact that you have a baby.” I almost choked up saying that shit.
“I understand Tay. When I found out you was talking to another nigga, I was mad but I didn’t have the right to be after the shit I had done to you. I just want you to know that I’m ready and willing to make this shit right with you. You know… whenever you want to. You’re still my wife, and I love you to death. I’ll do whatever it takes for us to get back to where we were.” I started crying. I can’t believe after six years this is where were.
“Tay… baby, don’t cry. We can work through this shit. I’m sorry for everything, I swear to God I am. I’m human. I made a mistake. If you just let-“ I cut him off.”
“Mel I’m pregnant!" I just couldn’t keep it in no more. I had to let it out, and it felt damn good. I had too much shit balled up inside of me that was weighing me down.
“You’re pregnant?” he asked surprised.
“Yes, I’m four months. You do the math,” I told him.
“Um, I don’t want you take this the wrong way but-" I interrupted him again.
“I don’t know Mel. I really just don’t know!” I cried harder. I just knew he would hang up on me but he didn’t.
“Ma, it’s cool. It’s okay. If it’s mine, you already know I’ma be there 100%, and if it ain’t, I’m still gonna be there. It’s still mine, know that.” I just cried in silence.
“Taysia to be honest, I don’t know who you were fucking around with and I don’t care to know. I just look at this shit as Karma coming to bite me in the ass. I want to be with you Taysia. I still do. Even after this. Does he know you’re pregnant?” he asked, referring to the man I was cheating with also known as Mega.
“No he doesn’t know. Actually nobody knows but us,” I assured him.
“Good. I don’t want that nigga to know Taysia. Even if he finds out you need to tell him it’s not his!” JaMel was serious as hell. I didn’t plan on telling Mega about me being pregnant anyway.
“So when’s your next appointment?” he asked.
“I haven’t been to the doctor yet,” I admitted.
“That’s not gonna work Tay. You gotta go to the doctor and make sure my baby’s okay.” When he said that I thought about those harsh words he spit at me when he left me that day. “I’m going to see my first born! Something you’re washed up ass couldn’t give me!” I really just needed to leave the past in the past and push all negativity out of my mind.
“I know. I’ll go see a doctor tomorrow,” I told him.
“Can I go with you?”
“Sure.”
“Okay cool. Just call and wake me up in the morning. I’ll meet you there.”
“Okay. I will.” I was getting ready to end the call.
“Tay…” He hesitated for a moment. “I love you sweetheart.” I haven’t heard that in so long that it made my heart smile.
“I love you too JaMel.” I meant it too. We ended the call and I went to sleep.
Chapter 26
NaTaysia
The next morning around eight, I called Women’s Health Professionals to see if I could walk in. They approved. I called JaMel and told him to meet me there at around 10:00 o’clock. I jumped in the shower and threw on some clothes. I was kind of excited about my doctor’s visit today.
I pulled into Women’s Health Professionals and went inside. They weren’t busy so I knew that I would be called back in no time. I smiled for some reason, when I saw JaMel’s BMW pulling up. It had been so long since I saw him. I really didn’t know what to expect. When he walked in, he took his shades off and walked over to where I was sitting. I stood up and gave him a hug and sat back down. He took a seat right next to me. We were talking and laughing, just like the old times, when the door to the back opened up. A nurse came out with my mama, Debra following her.
“Okay Mrs. Debra, we’ll see you back in four weeks!” the nurse said to my mom. She had to walk past us to leave the office.
“Ma! What the hell are you doing here?” I wanted to know.
“Girl, don’t be questioning me! I’ve been calling your ass for months now and you won’t answer!”
“Ma, I’ve been going through a lot of shit lately. I just didn’t have time for nothing else.”
“Didn’t have time for your own mama, huh? God don’t like ugly! And you only get one Mama. Heeey JaMel!” She was already starting to irk my nerve. She still hadn’t answered the question.
“It’s not like that ma, but what you doing here?” I asked her again.
“I am a woman ain’t I?” she said with an attitude.
“I hope you ain’t pregnant!” I came out and said.
“This place says Obstetrician and Gynecology. Just ‘cause you see a person in here doesn’t mean their pregnant.” I could tell my mama was lying.
Why would the nurse say she would see her back in four weeks then? Then again, I could be just jumping to conclusions. I’m just hoping she wasn’t pregnant for real, because she was forty years old and on drugs. She was not stable enough to be having no damn kids. Besides, I’m twenty-four years old. She done waited too damn long for some shit like this.
“Mmm hmm! I hear ya,” I told her. I wasn’t putting anything past her ass. I would definitely be keeping in touch with her to see what the hell she had going on. She walked out and JaMel and I started laughing.
“Yo mama a trip.” JaMel shook his head.
The nurse finally came out and called us to the back about fifteen minutes later. They drew blood and checked my blood pressure. So far everything was good. I went to the ultrasound room and got up on the bed. The ultrasound tech lifted up my shirt and tucked a piece of paper towel down in my pants. She poured the gel on my stomach and rubbed it around with the ultrasound probe. I spotted the baby as soon as the probe touched my skin. The baby was active as hell.
“Mrs. Taylor, I can actually see what you’re having already. Would you like to know?” I looked at JaMel to see what he thought. I really hoped it was a boy. MeMe had given him his first girl already and I hated that shit to this very day. JaMel nodded his head.
“Yeah I want to know.” She rolled the probe back and forth.
“It’s a boy!” she said and I immediately broke down. I was so elated. JaMel was all into the monitor smiling as he watched the baby wiggle and turn from side to side.
When we were all done, Jamel and I walked from the back and out the door hand in hand, like we were happily married. He walked me to my car.
“Dat nigga got you riding nice! You sure y’all ain’t still fuckin around?” Jamel said.
“Nah, we not. This car is in my name, thank you very much!” I told him.
“I ain’t ready to go back home without you Tay. Let me take you to grab something to eat or something. Pleeease?” he begged causing me to blush.
“Okay, but I want Applebee’s!” I told him.
“Whatever you want!” he said.
“Follow me to my apartment. I’ll drop my car off there and get in the car with you.”
“Aight cool.” We left the doctor’s office and JaMel followed me to my apartment.
Chapter 27
JaMel
I was happy as hell when I received that call from Taysia last night. I hadn’t seen nor heard from her since we had that big ass blowup at our house. That was three months ago. I was missing her like crazy. I wasn’t even fucking with MeMe like that. The only thing we had going on between us was our daughter, JaMelia. So much shit had happened over the course of these three months. That day I picked MeMe up from the hospital and brought her home, I found out that Mega was her brother. Hell, I didn’t even know that she h
ad a brother because she never mentioned him. That explained why she was living the life of a damn celebrity without a job. To my surprise, he wasn’t even tripping. He and I had a long man-to-man talk and that was that. He and I were still doing business together so everything was Gucci was on that end. MeMe was so focused on our daughter that she wasn’t pressuring a nigga anymore. Well really she couldn’t, because she knew that my wife had found out about the baby. To this day, I still didn’t know how Taysia found out and ended up at the hospital. Kira’s big mouthed ass probably heard some shit and went back and told her. That right there was in the past now. I just really wanted to focus on getting my wife back. I had faith she and I could get through this. I was happy that she was pregnant, but then again I was feeling some type of way because there was a possibility that it wasn’t mine. She was my wife and I loved her to death. Even if it wasn’t mine, that was not going to change the way that I felt about her or the baby.
My only problem now was what the fuck Mrs. Debra was doing at the damn doctor’s office for pregnant women and shit. I already knew what I had done, so if she was pregnant there was a possibility that it could be mine. She spoke to me in a way that let me know that she was trying to tell me something. I was slowly working my way back in with Taysia. She and I were trying to cross two bridges. One bridge was me having a baby on her and the other was her being pregnant not knowing if it was mine or not. If Mrs. Debra was pregnant, and it was mine, I would have no other choice but to just give up and throw in the towel on Taysia and me. There was no way in hell she was going to stay married to her mother’s baby daddy. I needed to catch up with Mrs. Debra as soon as I made it back to town. She didn’t look that far, so I knew it was still enough time for her to get an abortion. I wasn’t for abortions and shit, but I would rather make her have one and deal with the regret later on.
We made it to Taysia’s apartment complex. She opened the door, grabbed her purse, then got out and closed the door. Whoever that nigga was she was fucking, had her riding nice as hell. I ain’t gone lie; I was feeling some type of way. A part of me didn’t want to know who the nigga was that had been falling off in my wife. The other part of me did want to know so that I could have my partner, Mega and his team, to knock that nigga off. If Taysia and I were going to work this shit out then she was going to have to get rid of that car. Fuck That!