Mark’s reply was muffled by Ann’s mouth as she started to make up for lost time.
‘My work here is done, so I’ll just…uh…go back to bed then. Night.’ I waved as I left them to it, a joyful warmth flooding through me.
At least someone would have a happy ever after anyway. Fifty per cent wasn’t bad for two friends, was it?
Chapter 16
I opened the door to my parents’ house and breathed deeply of the delicious aroma of Sunday dinner. Beef if my nose wasn’t deceiving me.
I hung my coat on the stand, then walked into the hallway. ‘Hello?’
I squealed as two familiar bulldogs hurtled towards me, racing each other to reach me first. ‘Wow! Stephanie and Sportacus. How are you guys?’ I knelt down and let them lick my face and nibble my ears, all the time trying to slow down my pulse rate. If the dogs were here then that meant that…
‘Hey, Katie.’
‘Sam.’ My voice emerged as a squeak. ‘How nice to see you.’ I stood up wiping wet dog-scented hair from my cheeks and trying to correct my dishevelled appearance as quickly as possible.
‘You look good.’ He smiled as he appraised me and I flushed. It had been six weeks since Ann and Mark’s reunion and I’d been keen to give them space. Mark shared a flat with a friend too which meant that they’d have had no privacy there either, so I’d done my best to make myself scarce. They were planning a wedding as well as rediscovering their former passion and I really didn’t want to be around for the latter. I’d actually taken up walking. Me! It started with slow walking but now I managed to power-walk for about fifteen minutes at a time. I’d never be an Olympian but I was proud of myself. It had also had the benefit of toning me up a bit.
‘I’ve been exercising.’ I grinned.
‘I can tell. You’re glowing.’
My heated cheeks grew hotter. If he kept complimenting me, I might just spontaneously combust. ‘And how are you? And the children?’ I suddenly realised I hadn’t asked as my ego had been enjoying the attention too much.
‘They’re good, thanks. Coming down after the half term buzz.’
‘Spring half term?’ I had no idea that had been and gone already. Things had been so busy since Christmas. Had it really been so long since I’d seen Sam? Had I really managed to keep myself that busy in order to avoid thinking about him? Which hadn’t worked because he’d been on my mind all the time. But then apart from a few texts, he hadn’t tried to push to see me either. It was probably for the best; I couldn’t bear to think that he’d done something he regretted over Christmas or that he was feeling guilty. Not that anything really happened between us in the end. Better to let sleeping dogs lie and all that.
‘That’s the one.’
He grinned and I just stood there drinking him in. In spite of my sensible thoughts on seeing him, I could have taken hold of him and kissed him all over. If I was in a movie. And that’s the sort of movie I’d never star in if it meant performing before a camera the sexual acts that were currently forcing their way into my head. Sam was just intoxicating. Yummy! But that little voice of common sense kept muttering in my head, warning me to take care, to remember that this was about more than me and my yearnings.
‘Hello, Katie.’ Dad appeared behind Sam, making me jump. ‘Get you a drink?’
‘Just Coke please, Dad.’
‘Not a G and T?’
‘No thanks. I have to drive back to the flat later.’
Dad returned to the kitchen.
‘I’ve missed you since Christmas, Katie. But I didn’t want to push to see you. I needed time too, you know, to get my head straight.’
‘And how are you feeling now?’ I asked, even though I dreaded hearing the answer.
He smiled. ‘I’m okay. Still a bit nervous about how I feel when I’m with you but I do know that I like having you around.’ His words filled me with hope, even though I’d done my best not to text him too often. ‘May I escort you into dinner, my lady?’
I took his arm and inclined my head the way I’d seen them do in Jane Austen films. ‘Thank you, kind sir.’ Better to keep it light and innocent for now, although his words had affected me deeply. He’d needed time to think too.
As we walked into the kitchen, I leant into him and my knees wobbled as his scent washed over me. There it was, stomach-clenching, heart-wrenchingly perfect. I could bury my head into his neck and stay there all day…if he’d have me.
We took our seats at the table as Mum dished up and Dad carved and Sam asked, ‘How’s Ann now?’
I blinked, suddenly not certain how much I’d told him about her and Mark.
‘You said in a text that she was low and that she couldn’t be left alone over the New Year celebrations.’
Of course.
‘Well, she and Mark made up so she’s much better. Except for the past week or so, she’s been off colour. I think she’s got some sort of stomach bug.’ I didn’t elaborate but she’d been acting kind of strange. Like yesterday when I made her a coffee, she’d taken one sip then rushed to the sink to spit it out. Then this morning, before I left, I’m sure I heard her retching in the bathroom. I hoped that if she did have a stomach bug that it wasn’t catching. We’d have to close the shop and lose a few days’ custom if that was the case.
‘Perhaps it’s the stress she’s under,’ I suggested, trying to reassure myself as much as to offer an explanation.
‘Stress?’
‘Of planning her wedding.’
‘Really? So it really is all fine again then between her and…uh…’
‘Mark.’
‘That’s the guy.’ He nodded.
‘Yes they’re madly in love and talking about buying a house.’ I glanced away from Sam’s intense eyes. Whenever I looked into them I felt as if I was being dragged towards him and I worried that I’d end up kissing him. Worse, I might end up drooling and leaving a big wet patch on Esther’s best cotton tablecloth. I didn’t elaborate but Mark’s father had offered to help them out with the deposit for the mortgage as although Mark earned a good wage, Ann’s money was all tied up in Crumbtious.
‘That’s good to hear. Happy news.’ Sam forked a piece of beef and raised it to his mouth but paused and lowered it. ‘Uh, Katie, we’re off to the cinema today to see a film the kids are keen to watch. You want to come?’
My mouth fell open and I had to press my lips together. Was he asking me out? I peeked at Mum and Dad from under my lashes but they were staring at their plates as if their dinners were the most intriguing things they’d ever seen.
‘Yes…please. That would be great.’ No harm could come of a trip to the cinema, could it?
‘Excellent.’ Sam lifted the beef to his mouth again and chewed and I watched him like some teenager with a high school crush. Was I hanging on his every word too?
When we’d polished off dessert and the kids had gone to play in the garden, Mum brought coffee and we moved into the living room.
‘Are you sure they’ll be okay outside?’ I asked Sam. ‘It’s freezing.’
‘Do them good,’ he said. ‘They’re all wrapped up and they can wear the dogs out.’
The dogs. That was another thing that puzzled me. Esther had let them into her house. Her spotless, shiny, animal-free abode. I’d begged her for pets as a child but she hadn’t relented, except for one time when she let me bring the school hamster home. And that had been a disaster as he’d escaped and eaten through the skirting in my room before Karl had managed to recapture him. At least he’d told me that it was the same hamster but I wasn’t convinced that hamsters changed colour like chameleons and the hamster I’d returned to the school had been a far lighter shade of brown than when he’d come home with me.
‘Here, Katie.’ She handed me coffee and I perched on the brown leather sofa in the familiar lounge as Sam politely discussed the latest political news with Dad and Mum poured coffee.
‘Where are the after-dinner mints, Charles?’ Mum asked suddenly.
&
nbsp; Dad frowned. ‘I thought I put them on the dresser in the dining room?’
‘Nope.’ Mum nudged him. ‘Come help me find them.’
They left the room and I saw Dad place a hand in the small of Mum’s back. Affectionate as ever.
I looked around the room. The walls were lined with paintings and photographs and I stared at them. There were images behind glass on the walls that made me cringe. Me at twelve with my curls scraped back into a high ponytail and wearing a pair of fluorescent dangly earrings for my first high school photograph. I’d thought I looked the bee’s knees that day. The next one was of Karl and me at a family wedding. Probably one of Aunty Gina’s. It was a full-length shot and Karl towered over me. This time my hair was down and I’d clearly tried to straighten it; in the days before straighteners. I’d used the iron. I cringed as I recalled the steam burn it had caused on the back of my neck. Mum had gone mad with me and rushed me to casualty even though the wedding had been late morning. The nurse had assessed me and said that there wasn’t much they could do except give me painkillers and apply a topical cream to soothe it. But Mum had pestered me all day, constantly checking that I was feeling all right. I couldn’t remember where Dad had been during the wedding party though. I’d danced with Karl and Granny and Mum, but not with Dad. Funny how things like that come back. One memory can spawn another and another and so on.
I turned back to Sam and caught him staring at me. ‘Where were you?’ he asked.
I blushed. ‘Remembering.’
‘I remember a few things from when we were younger too,’ he said and grinned, then pointed to a photograph of me at seventeen. ‘Karl took that one when your parents went away for a weekend and your granny was staying here to keep an eye on you both. You were so cute, Katie.’
I frowned. I really wasn’t. My frizz was up and I had a dazed expression. How could he possible say that I was cute?
‘Wasn’t that the night that you got wasted and…’
I held up a hand. ‘Oh no, do not go there!’
He laughed and the sound reverberated through me, tingling in all the places I shouldn’t let it. Talk about inappropriate timing. ‘Not now,’ I said through clenched teeth.
‘Okay, but I’d like to take a trip down memory lane some time. Perhaps then we can discuss what happened at Christmas too.’
‘Sure.’ I took a gulp of coffee. He wanted to talk about what happened between us at Christmas. So did I. But I was also nervous. Where could we go from here? I knew where I’d like to go but I had no idea if Sam felt the same. We’d not seen each other in weeks.
If only life was as strategic as a game of chess.
***
‘I guess I’d better get going.’ I stood and looked around for my bag. ‘Let me know how you get on with the estate agent tomorrow.’
‘Of course,’ Mum said. ‘I’ll ring you as soon as they’ve gone.’
‘I’ll just grab the kids and dogs,’ Sam said as he disappeared into the kitchen.
Mum and Dad followed me into the hallway.
‘Katie? You mustn’t blame your dad for inviting Sam. We bumped into him in town and when he said that he hadn’t seen you since Christmas, we were a bit concerned.’
‘But at Christmas you told me to take care.’
‘I know, Katie, but I didn’t mean avoid him altogether. You were getting on so well. As long as you remember that there are children involved, then it should be fine.’
‘I don’t know. I mean, I have the shop now and I’m meeting the bank manager this week to discuss where we go from here… I’m going to be too busy for much else.’
‘Katie, you need to live too,’ Dad said as he took hold of Mum’s hand.
‘I appreciate what you’re saying,’ I said. ‘I just need time to decide what to do.’
Sam returned with Jack and Holly and they said their goodbyes to my parents then he put the children and the dogs into his car. I waited on the doorstep for him and when he came back for me, he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I leant into him, enjoying his warmth through our coats and breathing deeply of his scent, not shy at all about the fact that my parents were right there watching us. I wanted to stay there all evening. It felt safe and secure and in that moment I longed for that feeling more than anything else.
‘So are you looking forward to seeing the Marvel team in their spandex?’ He cupped my cheek with his large right hand and heat flooded through me. I fought the urge to turn and kiss his palm. ‘The kids want you to come.’ He gestured at his car and two small faces grinned at me through the back window. I realised that I’d driven past his car earlier and not even registered it. I should be careful driving around in such as haze. Or perhaps I needed to get my eyes tested.
‘I couldn’t possibly disappoint them,’ I said, relieved that he hadn’t let me off the hook too easily. ‘I’m quite excited about it actually.’
‘Follow me home and you can come with us to drop the dogs off first. The screening’s at five.’
‘Sounds good to me. But I want popcorn. Lots of it.’
‘You can have ice cream, nachos, chocolates…whatever you want, Katie Warham. Anything at all.’ He grinned then released me and I watched as he opened the door and climbed into his car.
Anything at all? Well I think that I want you, Sam. And Jack and Holly and the dogs and the life we could share. It might be ridiculous and it might be sudden by some people’s standards but it just felt right. Sam had always been there. Perhaps not within touching distance but there, in the background of my life, waiting. Okay, not necessarily waiting for me – as he was going through his own highs and lows – but waiting for life to provide him with opportunities. Possibly happiness. Definitely hope.
I waved at him, then hurried over to my car and started the engine.
I actually felt that there could be happiness in my future. And there was nothing wrong with allowing myself to hold on to hope. Especially when it came in the form of a six-foot hunk with soft brown eyes, dark hair and a heart made of gold.
Chapter 17
I couldn’t tell if the movie was any good because I barely watched it. When we went into the cinema, Holly insisted on going into the row first then I was instructed to sit next to her. Next came Sam then Jack. We’d stocked up on sweet and salted popcorn, hotdogs, pick ’n’ mix and those huge cups of Coke with a plastic lid and a straw. I munched my way through the adverts, chatting and giggling with Holly as we did our vampire impressions with candy fake teeth, then our best shocked faces as we sucked on sour cherries. Being with Sam and the children was a lot of fun.
When the cinema went dark and the movie began, Holly took my hand over the arm of the chair. Her tiny fingers were sticky and warm. She was the sweetest little girl and Sam was doing such a good job of bringing her and Jack up. But I sensed that she missed having a mother around. Well, what little girl wouldn’t? I mean, with all of her faults at least Esther had been there. I hadn’t had a gaping mother-shaped hole or been left wondering what it would be like to have a mum. Sometimes I’d wished that Esther would just bugger off but only in my darkest moments.
I used my free hand to manoeuvre my drink to my mouth, as well as to shovel sweets in when I craved them. But the characters on screen might just as well have not been there for all the notice I took. My left elbow was resting on the armrest on Sam’s side and every so often his arm or his elbow would brush up against mine. It might not have been deliberate but it was delicious all the same. Feeling his warmth and his huge male body so close to mine gave me a sense of security, of being a part of something. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he laughed along with Jack and admired how the light from the screen lit up his eyes and highlighted the creases of his smile and his bobbing Adam’s apple. He was everything a woman could want. Totally desirable, sweet and kind.
The last twenty minutes of the movie were predictably emotional and I held my breath as Holly climbed down from her booster seat and came to stand in front of me.
‘Can I sit on your lap?’ she whispered.
‘Of course,’ I replied, taking her under the arms and lifting her up.
I caught Sam grinning at me as Holly settled back against me and reached around to take hold of my hair. As she sat there, warm and contented, she twirled my hair in her sticky fingers, over and over, seeking comfort from its curls. The movement made me sleepy and I rested my head against the headrest. If this was motherhood, it was pretty damned fine. Who wouldn’t enjoy a family cinema trip?
All too soon, the credits rolled and it was time to pick up our things and go. I rubbed Holly’s arm but she didn’t move.
‘Holly. Time to go now, sweetie.’
She turned in my arms and wrapped her hands around my neck. As she pressed her face into me, I could feel that her cheeks were wet.
‘Holly?’
‘She always cries at happy endings,’ Jack explained.
I glanced at Sam and he nodded, his eyes twinkling.
‘Oh, Holly, it’s okay, my darling.’ I kissed the top of her soft hair. ‘Happy endings are a good thing.’
She peered up at me. ‘I know. They just make me hurt sometimes. In here.’ She pointed at her chest.
‘They do that to everyone. It’s fine to feel that way.’ I smiled at her and wiped her tears away with my thumbs. ‘Come on. I’ll tell you a story in the car.’
‘You will?’ Her face lit up.
‘Sure.’
We gathered our coats and litter, then left. I hadn’t taken much notice of the film but I had learnt more about this lovely family. Perhaps I was getting in too deep and this would end up hurting us. I mean, there was no guarantee that it would work out, but aren’t all relationships a risk? Sam and I could, of course, just remain friends and keep going like this.
But I wasn’t sure that being just his friend, or some kind of honorary aunt to Jack and Holly, would be enough.
***
‘Katie?’ Sam glanced at me as he negotiated his way out of the multiplex car park.
‘Yes?’ I sat forward to listen as I was in the back with Holly.
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