by Liz McCraine
“Why didn’t you go to her rooms, request an audience in person?”
“I was afraid she’d reject me. I was afraid if I showed up at her chamber she would slam the door in my face. She certainly had the right to do so after everything I’ve put her through.”
“Then she didn’t hear an apology from you, and you never told her you wanted to be with her?” Steffan was incredulous. Now Larra’s desire to flee the city made sense. If she’d never heard an apology from their son and never knew there could be a future for them together, then her need to leave was understandable. “Do you truly love this girl?”
The boy looked down and seemed distracted by a scar on his forearm, where his shirt-sleeve had been rolled up. “Steady hands deserve a steady heart,” Steffan thought he heard his son whisper to himself.
“Christoff, do you love her?”
The young prince looked up, and Steffan saw fierceness and determination there. “You know that I do.”
“Then I suppose you had better get going. Talk to your mother first. She might be able to give you some insight into the female mind that I can’t. At this point, you could use all the help you can get.”
Christoff’s face was grim as he nodded in agreement. He pivoted on his foot and strode swiftly from the room.
Judging from what he knew, it appeared to Steffan as if Larra intended to forget the boy completely. He hoped Christoff wasn’t too late to change her mind.
Chapter 26
“I still can’t believe it.”
Sir Griffen leaned back in his chair, savoring his breakfast as he stared at his daughter. In the week since they had travelled back to Farr, Larra had had ample time to tell him about her mother. But incredulity often lingered far beyond acceptance, as it did with Griffen this fine morning.
It was still a wonder to him that he had a daughter.
They had met up with the villagers at the market just as they had been packing their belongings. At first the villagers were afraid of Larra, thinking she had escaped. But when the king and queen showed up right behind her, their thoughts changed entirely and they eagerly welcomed Larra and her escort into their company.
During the trip, Larra became even fonder of the man who was her father and was grateful she had decided to inform him of their relationship. He had cried tears of sorrow at the knowledge that Larra’s mother had died, and tears of joy that he had a daughter. He and his wife weren’t blessed to have children, he’d told her, and he was overjoyed with her news. He promised that his wife would also be overjoyed. She had always wanted a daughter, he said, and now her wish would come true.
The company had made decent time returning to the village despite the carts and supplies they were bringing back from the market. There had been a heavy rain storm near the end of their journey, but the storm was travelling to the east and they were able to pass through it quickly enough.
The moment they entered Farr, the leaders of the company spread word of Larra’s innocence, telling how the king and queen themselves had accompanied her to the market and proclaimed Larra a heroine. Sir Griffen also read a proclamation from the king absolving Larra of any blame for having the gift of magic and fully supporting her in the use of her magic to heal and help those around her. After their shock had passed at hearing this news, the villagers greeted her warmly, eager to accept her once again as their healer now that the king had given her his approval. Recalling the insults hurled at her during her arrest, Larra found it a little more difficult to be welcoming to them in return. People were funny like that, she realized. They could be quick to blame when the situation called for it, and quick to forgive when they thought they would benefit from it. And as a publicly acknowledged heroine, it seemed everyone wanted to be her best friend.
Elane had been overwhelmed when she first opened the door to see her granddaughter and a royal escort waiting outside, and sobbed with relief when she was informed that Larra had been proclaimed innocent.
Now two days had passed since Larra and Griffen had arrived in Farr, and the three had spent their time getting to know each other better. Elane considered Griffen family and the two got along as if they had known each other forever.
“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” said Elane, as she passed a slice of hot bread smeared with jam to Larra. “You said that the king and queen offered you a job, complete with pay and lodgings and, doubtless, notoriety. And you said that the palace was a beautiful, wonderful place to live. So why would you give all that up? And don’t tell me it was because you were worried about me. We both know that I’ll be alive and well for many years to come.”
There was a silence that followed, as Larra concentrated on her food. She had not mentioned her relationship with the prince to her grandmother, and had purposefully kept from speaking of it with Sir Griffen during the journey with the hopes that he would forget about it altogether.
Obviously that wasn’t going to happen.
“I suspect it has something to do with the young captain that arrested her that day,” Griffen commented wryly.
Larra glared at him. She preferred to put her association with the prince behind her and move on with her life, forgetting that he even existed. It was less painful that way, and she believed she had begun to succeed over the last few days in keeping him in the past. Bringing up such a sensitive topic was not going to help.
“Oh?” drawled Elane. “And what is this all about?”
“I don’t want to discuss it,” stated Larra, firmly. Unfortunately, Sir Griffen wasn’t going to let it go.
“If I’m not mistaken, I believe your granddaughter—my daughter—formed strong feelings for the captain, who also happens to be the only son of King Steffan and Queen Lissa.”
Larra didn’t have to look up to see that Elane was astonished. She could feel the waves of amazement rolling across the table.
“You mean that handsome young man who was in charge of all those knights was a prince?”
“That’s right,” responded Sir Griffen. “He was my apprentice once, and I can vouch that he is an excellent man. It seemed for a time that he and Larra had a connection during the journey. The other knights and I were secretly hedging bets to see if they would end up together, but we were all wrong. The prince sent her away, in the end. Quite a stupid move for a man I always believed to be quite intelligent.” He looked directly at Larra. “I imagine he has something to do with why Larra didn’t accept the offer to stay at the palace. Am I correct?”
Larra’s rising turmoil finally bubbled over and she stood up, scraping her chair back from the table.
“He didn’t just send me away,” she said, slashing her hand through the air. “First he made me fall in love with him. Then, he told me we couldn’t be together because I was nothing more than a poor, country girl, unsuitable for someone of his rank. And then he betrayed me! He told me once that he believed I was innocent of any evil doing, but the instant that counselor, Lucien, told a lie, Christoff threw me away like the refuse he thought I was. He also promised he would intercede with his father on my behalf, but instead he had me thrown in the dungeon. Have you ever been in a dungeon? Do you know that they have a torture chamber there? Because I do. I am intimately acquainted with it, in fact.”
She was breathing hard, her head pounding. She hadn’t meant to tell them so much, but it had come flooding out. So much for forgetting the captain. So much for moving on with her life. If he could still make her feel this much emotion, then she was obviously not over him. No matter how much she wished otherwise.
She leaned forward to brace her hands on the table for support and bowed her head. She still loved the man. But he hadn’t returned her love.
“That doesn’t sound like the man I know,” said Griffen, quietly. “The man I know would never have betrayed you like that. He is a man of his word. And he would never have had any woman tortured.”
“He didn’t torture me, Lucien did,” admitted Larra, quickly pushing away the memory. �
��But he still betrayed me. He was so quick to believe Lucien’s lies. He should have believed me, instead.”
“He would have been shocked at learning of the depth of his father’s illness. He loves his father, and he didn’t know that he was so sick. Any man would act out in such a moment.”
“And that excuses what he did?” Larra anguished.
Griffen grimaced. “No, it doesn’t. But he’s only human, Larra. And we all make mistakes. Have you considered that?”
No, she hadn’t. She’d thought only of her own plight. The tension in her chest was so tight it was almost unbearable. It was true that she hadn’t given Christoff a chance to explain himself. And he had tried, she recalled, as she thought of all the messages she had thrown into the fire, unread.
“I need to get out. I need to think.” She shoved in her chair and quickly made her way to the door, pausing to grab a cloak to keep her warm in the cool autumn air. “It’s too late to fix things, anyway. No matter how I might feel about him.”
“It’s never too late,” said Griffen in a fervent whisper. “It’s never too late to look for love if there is the slightest possibility that it exists. I know that now, more than I ever did before.” His voice was sad, and Larra knew he regretted not talking to her mother about marriage. He had waited too long to tell her mother what he really wanted, and then she had died. Larra wondered how different her life would be if they had been married. Maybe Griffen would have been able to keep her mother safe from the fire. But it was all history, now.
“I’m sorry to have disrupted the meal.”
“Nonsense,” said Elane. “You get some fresh air and clear that muddled head. I want to hear more about this prince of yours and we both know Sir Griffen will never divulge everything with you still in the room.”
Larra walked outside, patting Bess’s furry head as she passed. When she came to the end of the stone walkway, she found herself unknowingly heading toward the village. She was so absorbed in trying to organize her thoughts and emotions that she almost ran into Jess, who was walking in her direction.
“Whoa, there! Watch where you’re going, pretty girl,” he teased. Larra looked up into his smiling eyes and softly laughed in response. It was too bad she couldn’t feel for him what she felt for Christoff, or her life would go a lot more smoothly. But she didn’t, and both Jess and Larra knew it.
“Where are you going, anyway? Not to our place, are you?”
“Just walking,” answered Larra. “I’m not really headed anywhere; I just have a lot on my mind and need to clear the cobwebs.”
“You could always borrow Kiera for a few hours, you know. That girl will have you so preoccupied with trying to keep her from mischief that you won’t have time to worry about your troubles.”
“Ha! And don’t I know it.” Larra grinned in earnest now. Jess and Kiera had come by the cottage the day before to welcome her back with ebullience. She had been so glad to see her friends that she had cried. Kiera had been practically hopping the entire time, and while she adored the little girl, she did not envy Jess the job of keeping her out of trouble every day.
“And where is the little rebel now?”
“Rosie agreed to watch her for the morning so that my dad and I could take a break.”
“Lucky for you.”
“It gives me time to check the fish nets at the creek, which is where I’m off to now.” He paused before asking, “Would you like to tell me why you’re so upset? I hope it has nothing to do with finding your father alive.”
Larra and Elane had fudged the details of Griffen’s sudden appearance in Larra’s life, spinning the story that he had survived the carriage accident that had killed Larra’s mother, but hadn’t been able to raise the child by himself and so had left her with Elane. They explained that he hadn’t planned on coming back into Larra’s life and it had been his express wish that Elane tell the child that both her parents had died, to spare her the heartache of being an unwanted child. But after meeting her so many years later, Griffen now wanted to renew the relationship.
It was a convincing lie, and nobody had questioned it.
“No, everything is wonderful with my father.”
“Let’s see,” he grabbed her arm and linked it in his, propelling her to walk with him in the direction of the creek. “Not your father, not your grandmother, not your magic. Well, then it can only be one thing,” he said with some humor.
“And what is that?”
“A broken heart,” he said confidently. He was surprised when Larra’s face fell and her chin began to wobble.
“Larra, I was just joking!” He peered closer. “But I’m right, aren’t I? You’ve had your heart broken, for real.” His joking manner fell away.
“I didn’t mean to fall in love,” she whispered, struggling to hold back the tears. “But it happened anyway, and now I’ve ruined everything by running away and coming home to Farr.”
“Who, Larra? You were gone for so short a time.”
“A short time, but an eternity all the same. You met him, actually.”
“I did? Who did I—No! No, Larra, not him. The captain? That arrogant, bossy, good-for-nothing—“
“He’s not as bad as all that. In fact, when we did get along, he was pretty perfect,” she sniffled.
Jess was about to disagree when the sound of hoof beats were heard on the road behind them. Jess turned his head to see who was coming and Larra felt his body stiffen against her arm.
“Don’t look now, but I think your good-for-nothing, arrogant captain has decided to come back for you,” he forced through clenched teeth.
“What?” His words didn’t make sense until she looked behind her to see the prince approaching on a sleek, chestnut horse. Unlike his warhorse, this one was built for speed and endurance. Larra stopped immediately and turned around, dragging Jess with her. She was so surprised that she didn’t blink, afraid it was just a mirage. It wasn’t until Christoff dismounted and walked up to them that she believed he was real.
“Larra.”
Words failed her.
“What are you doing here? Don’t you know she’s free to come and go as she pleases?” Jess’s voice broke the spell and Larra blinked. A scowl marred Christoff’s handsome features as he focused on their linked arms.
“That’s none of your business…boy,” he sneered the last word, his insult obvious.
“Why you pompous—“
“Stop.” Larra finally spoke. She wasn’t going to let these two men fight. Not here and especially not now, when there was so much to discuss with the one in front of her.
“Jess, thank you for walking with me. If you don’t mind, I need a moment alone with him.”
Jess hesitated, his disdain for the man as obvious as his desire to stay. But when he saw the way Larra’s eyes were glued to the visitor, he knew that he had to let her have her way. Unlinking his arm from hers, he stepped back.
“I’ll be on my way as long as he promises not to hurt you.”
“I swear it. It’s the last thing I would ever do.” The intensity with which Christoff spoke was a balm to Larra’s broken heart. Whatever the reason he was here, it wasn’t to hurt her again. Hope fluttered in her chest.
She was barely aware of Jess treading away, angrily.
“Who is he to you?”
She was surprised by the jealousy in Christoff’s voice. “He’s my friend. Nothing more, but nothing less, either. We have known each other all our lives.”
“You don’t care him as more than a friend?”
Larra gave a nervous laugh. “Of course not. And he and I both know it.” There was a lengthy pause as both collected their thoughts. Finally Larra found the courage to ask, “Why are you here?”
“You didn’t answer any of my messages.”
Heat crept into her cheeks. “I admit, I didn’t even read them.”
“Why, Larra?” His hazel eyes held a wealth of hurt. “I wanted to see you, I needed to apologize. Need to apologize
.”
“I—I couldn’t bear to see you again, knowing…thinking that there was no future for us. That you hated me.” The memory of his words and expressions that night still haunted her.
“Larra,” gasped Christoff. He reached out a hand to touch her cheek lightly, then withdrew it as though uncertain whether his touch would be welcome. “Larra, there is nothing I can do to make up for what I did. When I remember how I acted, what I said, I am ashamed. It has been killing me not to be able to apologize, to make things right.
“That night was the worst night of my life. I keep thinking back, wondering why I did what I did, why I acted that way. I was so shocked when the news came about my father that I wasn’t thinking straight. Why was he suddenly at death’s door? I kept asking myself that question, worrying that the parent I looked up to my whole life wouldn’t make it through the night. I was distraught and not thinking clearly.
“And when Lucien told me those lies, they came across as quick answers to the questions I was burdened with. Looking back, I know that I wouldn’t have believed him if I hadn’t just been told my father was dying. I would never have thrown you in a dungeon. I would have continued to believe in your innocence. All that I ask is that you try to forgive me somehow. I was anxious and afraid, and I acted like a fool.”
Part of her believed him. But another part, the part that had slowly festered for days, still hadn’t.
“And that’s it?” she demanded. “‘I was anxious and afraid, and I acted like a fool.’ That’s your excuse for what happened to me? Christoff, I was almost killed because of you. I was tortured, the skin literally stripped from my back. Do you want to see the scars? Because they’re still there. I can show you…” she reached up to pull down the shoulder of her dress, but he stopped her just in time.