by S J Crabb
Instead of cycling home I decide to go for a bike ride instead to clear my head. I set off down a track that I have never seen before and enjoy feeling the sense of freedom that the ride gives me. My journey takes me further into the mountains and with no sense of time at all I soon reach the top of a hill. I can see the whole town from here and notice the lights twinkling below me like stars in the sky. It is a gorgeous evening and the moon is particularly bright. There is still a lot of heat left though and coupled with my bike ride I now feel extremely hot. As I walk next to my bike I come across a clearing in the trees. To my amazement I see a sparkling pool of water before me. My breath catches in my throat. It is beautiful here. The reflection of the moon dances on the lake and reflects around the clearing.
I drop my bike down on to the ground and suddenly feel the urge to take a dip in the cool clear water. This is just what I need, to cool down and to clear my mind and re charge. Listening keenly for any sounds all I can hear is the sound of nature. An owl hoots nearby and I hear nothing; everything is as still as can be. I quickly remove my clothes and put them on a nearby rock. With a slight hesitation I remove the locket from around my neck. I know that I am alone so five minutes won’t matter. As soon as it is off I feel the tremendous feeling of release. I lay back into the cool clear water and my hair fans out behind me. The feeling is pure heaven. I savour the feeling as my body bathes in the moonlight. The water laps against my body, cooling me down and I feel so alive. The feeling of being myself again is invigorating. Every part of me glows and I re charge myself in the light of the moon.
Suddenly I hear a twig break near to me and open my eyes in alarm. There like a tiger stalking its prey he sits, his black eyes flashing in the darkness like two stars. In alarm I dip down underneath the water and try to swim to the other side. He mustn’t see me, not like this. Frantically I look around for an escape but remember that I am wearing nothing but my underwear and so won’t get far. Clambering out of the pool I am amazed to see him in front of me. How on earth did he get here so quickly? Resigned to my fate I lift my eyes to his and he steps back in shock. I know that he won’t recognise me as Grace and my only hope is to convince him that I am not from here. As he steps closer I can see the wonder on his face. He can’t tear his eyes away and my only hope is to dazzle him. Lifting my eyes to his I put everything into the look. All of my new found energy is directed at him and I watch as he falls underneath my spell. However he is stronger than most and we are soon locked in a battle of wills. His eyes darken dangerously and draw me in. He shifts closer and not breaking eye contact says in a low husky voice, “Who are you?” Shaking my head I say softly, “I’m nobody.” To my surprise he reaches out to take my hand and I recoil in shock as if I’ve been burned. He holds on and I can feel his power as he tries to read me. His touch is sending such raging heat through my ice cool body and the mixture of the two colliding is very powerful indeed. Slowly he pulls me towards him until our faces are centimetres apart. He lifts his fingers to my face and traces the outline of my features. The water from the pool is dripping from my body but I feel hot inside. He says in a whisper. “You are the most beautiful thing that I have ever laid eyes on. I cannot read you though. Who are you, what is your name?” Shaking my head I whisper, “I can’t tell you.” I lower my eyes and in surprise feel him lifting my chin up towards him. “Why do you make me want to protect you?” He says, almost as if he is talking to himself. Then to my surprise he removes his T Shirt and I gasp at the sight of his well toned body, glistening with sweat from the heat. Tenderly he places his T Shirt over my head and I feel the soft fabric falling around me, caressing me with the heat of his body. Taking my hand he pulls me down beside him on to a nearby rock and once again looks into my eyes. “Well mysterious lady, here we are.” I look at him savouring the sight of him. I know that I must make the most of this moment because it can never happen again. I study every inch of his face committing it to memory. This is a special moment that we will never have again. Looking deeply into my eyes I sense his struggle within. He is desperate to know everything about me but his power doesn’t work on me. He will be confused and after tonight he will wonder if it was a dream. He leans closer and taking my face in his hands he says, “I am drawn to you and I don’t know why. Please tell me your name?” Quickly I think of a name that I can tell him. I strangely don’t want to lie to him, so I choose one of my other names. Looking gently at him I say, “It’s Ana.” He whispers my name, “Ana. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” Smiling sweetly I say, “What is your name?” Smiling gently he says, “Ash. So there it is Ash and Ana. Two people who have found each other against all the odds and yet are still strangers.” As I look at him I feel mesmerised. Gone is the self assured, swaggering bad boy. In his place is a sweet, protective guy, showing more to me than I would have ever believed possible. His face is relaxed and his eyes sparkle. As he gazes into my eyes he says, “You make me feel different Ana. I want to kiss you so much but something is holding me back. I want to protect you from me which surprises me. Why would I do that I wonder?” Shrugging I look down. Pulling me back to look at him he says, “Don’t look down Angel. I want to look at you and imprint your lovely face on my mind forever.” Laughing nervously I say, “Well we can’t sit here just looking at each other all night. Why don’t you tell me about yourself?” Suddenly his face changes and he looks angry. “You don’t want to know about me, it would only drive you away. Somebody like you will never understand.” Reaching out I grasp his hand and he gasps as he feels the effects. “Tell me Ash, I won’t judge you.” I can sense the inner turmoil in him and he is obviously battling against something inside of him. I can’t read him, it is too complex and my images are blurred. I recognise that he is in torment so interrupt his thoughts saying, “Don’t worry Ash, I won’t pry, but can I ask you something?” In surprise he looks at me. “Anything Ana, I just want to please you for some reason.” I smile shyly at him. “Will you kiss me Ash?” My words obviously shock him and he looks at me with a stunned expression. “I would like nothing more Angel, but why?” Looking embarrassed I say quietly. “I have never been kissed before and I want my first one to be with you.” I can see the battle within him. I know that if I kiss him all will be lost to me, but I want to help him. If he kisses me I may be able to take away some of his obvious pain. His eyes flash dangerously and I can see that he is trying to control himself. I just sit next to him waiting silently. He looks into my eyes and I know that he is a lost soul. Tenderly he pulls me towards him. Tracing the contours of my face he leans towards me and tilting my head up to meet him his lips brush against mine. My legs feel weak and I can hear his heart beating in his chest. His lips press against mine and I part them to let him in. It is the softest kiss that I would ever have imagined from him. It shows so much love and caring with gentleness mixed with passion. He almost hesitates but then I feel him pull me even closer and his tongue enters my mouth, probing it gently, entwining with mine as I taste him. I feel the explosions around us. It is like fire and ice have collided. My brain goes into meltdown and frantically I try to regroup. I need to put everything into this kiss. I need to heal him and soothe his battered soul. We are locked together, both fighting our own battle within and the kiss seems to last the night. Finally we pull away, both of us shocked to the core.
Chapter 9
Pulling back we just stare at each other in amazement. Ash recovers first. “I never knew it could be like that Ana. You have cast me under your spell; I will never be the same again.” Stroking the side of his face I say, “I have never been kissed before Ash, I wanted it to be you and it was more than I ever dared dream it would be.” I watch as a flash of pain passes across his face and I can see the torture in his soul. Holding me tightly he draws me to him saying, “I’m not good for you Ana. You deserve so much better than me.” Trembling I know that what will come next will be painful for us both. Pushing the thought away I reach up and kiss him softly on the mouth. “You should
just let yourself go Ash. You have love inside your heart and you shouldn’t be afraid of it.” Taking his hand I say, “Come on, let’s take a swim in the moonlight.” Taking off his T Shirt I plunge into the water. It doesn’t take him long and he has soon joined me. The sight of his near naked body glistening in the moonlight takes my breath away. He goes underneath the water and then I feel him pull me under with him. Fastening his mouth on to mine we kiss sharing the same air until we break the surface again. He pulls me tightly to him and kisses me gently and romantically. There is none of the harshness that he portrayed with Skylar. This man is gentle and loving and everything that a girl could ever wish for.
After a while we get out and lay side by side our hands touching as we dry off. We gaze at the moonlight and enjoy the sounds of nature secure in the knowledge that the other is close by. Soon I realise that Ash has fallen asleep. With a sharp pain in my heart I know this is it. I must go and he must never see me again in my true form. Silently I gather up my things and take once last lingering look at the man I love and with the tears burning behind my eyes I tiptoe silently away. Once I am sure that I am out of earshot I place the locket around my neck and dress quickly. I cycle home as fast as I can with such a feeling of profound loss. What is the saying? It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Well whoever said that must have been thinking about me. It may have been a brief encounter but it would have to last me a lifetime. Ash would wake up and think that it had all been a dream. I would have to carry on seeing him knowing what it was like to feel his lips on mine and the excitement that it lit within me.
Luckily by the time I get home the house is quiet and everyone has gone to bed. It is not unusual for me to get in when they are asleep due to my shifts at Violet’s. Putting my bike away I reach my room and change into my nightgown. Moving across to the window I look up at the moon and picture Ash sleeping peacefully by the lake. Tears run down my face as I think of what he will feel when he wakes up and I am gone.
The morning comes and I wake up with a heavy heart. The thought of going to school and seeing him is unbearable so I feign illness and my Aunt sends me back to bed. I know that I am being cowardly but I need to protect myself. Just a few days without seeing him will be enough.
By the time Saturday comes I tell my Aunt that I will be well enough to work at the library and Violet’s. Gabe drops me off and says, “Look if Ash comes to library today, call me at once.” I look at him in surprise. “Why?” He pulls a face. “Because he is in a terrible mood. Luckily for you you were off this week. Nobody has been spared and he has been particularly evil. He seems angry about something and is even less tolerant than usual which is saying something. I just don’t want you around him when he is in this mood ok?” Nodding I think about what Gabe has said as I push open the door to the library. He must be angry that I left and he has no way of contacting me. My heart tightens but I know that it is for the best.
Mr Watson looks as ill as always, and I worry about him. Gently I say, “Would you like me to get you a sandwich or a coffee from across the street? You look like you may need it.” Smiling weakly he says, “You are very kind dear, unusual for someone of your age, especially in this town, but no, I am fine, just not sleeping well that’s all.” I look at him kindly. “Well I can look after things here if you want a couple of hours sleep. I have to be at Violet’s for 1pm but you can have until then.” He looks at me gratefully. “If you don’t mind I will my dear, thank you.” Watching him stumble out I wonder what his problem is. I wish that I could find a way of helping him. The best thing that I can think of is to sort out his library so I set about the task.
After an hour I decide to have a break and pick up my favourite book Tess. Once again my heart feels heavy and as I read the words the tears start to fall.
I must have been so engrossed that I didn’t hear him come in. Suddenly the book is whipped from my grasp and my breath catches in my throat as I see Ash standing beside me. He looks annoyed. “Where have you been?” Blinking away the tears I stutter. “I have been ill, why?” Shrugging he sits on the table and says, “I like to know what’s going on that’s all.” I watch as his eyes narrow as he reads the page I was reading. He reads out loud saying;
“The only exercise that Tess took at this time was after dark; and it was then, when out in the woods, that she seemed less solitary. She knew how to hit to a hair’s-breadth that moment of evening when the light and the darkness are so evenly balanced that the constraint of day and the suspense of night neutralize each other, leaving absolute mental liberty. It is then that the plight of being alive becomes attenuated to its least possible dimensions.”
As I watch him read the words my heart tightens. He looks so beautiful and I long to reach up and kiss his heavenly mouth. Before he finishes I look quickly down to the ground. I mustn’t give anything away. I feel him look at me and in confusion I jump up and walk away as if to carry on my work. Before he can say anything the door to the library flies open and Gabe stands there with several members of his team. They look quite intimidating and I see Ash look up at them in surprise, which is quickly replaced by a look of boredom. Gabe says angrily, “Come on Grace. We’re here to drive you to work.” Ash looks at me in surprise. “Work? I thought this was your job.” Throwing Gabe an annoyed look I say, “It is, well one of them anyway. Gabe I’ll just tell Mr Watson I’m leaving. I won’t be long.” I am as quick as I can be and my heart nosedives when I return and see Ash standing angrily in front of Gabe and his friends. I hear him shouting, “Don’t you tell me what to do Gabe Rivers. I’m not afraid of you or your team. If I want to spend time with Grace then I will it’s none of your business.” In shock I watch as he pushes a table over and all of the books clatter to the floor. Pushing his way through the team we soon hear the angry roar of his motorbike as it pulls away. Gabe and his friends pick up the table and help me pile the books back. “What did he want?” Gabe says angrily. “Nothing, he had just arrived when you did.” Gabe frowns looking worried. “I don’t like it. Stay away from him Grace, he’s trouble.” If only he knew I thought with a sigh. Staying away from him was now my number one priority.
Chapter 10
When we get to Violet’s I find the place heaving with customers. As soon as she sees me Violet says, “Grace, you’ll have to waitress today. Linda is sick and I’m one down.” Quickly putting my things away I go to my first table. I have covered a few times now and know the drill. I quite like it and enjoy interacting with the customers. The place seems busier than usual and I am so engrossed in my work that I am surprised when I hear Violet say darkly, “That’s all I need.” Looking up I can’t believe my eyes as I see Ash, Jacob and Jace, sitting themselves at an empty table. Ash catches me looking and grins wickedly. Violet notices the look and says under her breath, “I’ll put Tina on that table. They won’t mess with her. Just ignore them and carry on.” That’s going to be difficult I think to myself.
Trying to block them out I set about my job. After a while I come out of the kitchen with some dishes and find Ash blocking my way. Lifting up his eyebrows he says, “I didn’t know you worked here little Tess. Quite the worker aren’t you?” Blushing I just nod and try to get past. He grins, “I may have to come here more often now.” Seeing what is happening Violet shouts. “Move out of her way Ash, she’s got work to do and if you obstruct my staff I will have to ask you to leave.” Ash’s friend’s laugh and cat call and grinning he holds up his hands and moves aside letting me pass. He saunters back to the table and I can feel them watching me as I work. They stay for the rest of my shift and I can tell that Violet is annoyed. “I hope they don’t start coming here, they’ll scare my customers away.” Looking at me thoughtfully she says, “He’s not bothering you is he?” Shaking my head I say, “No.” Her eyes narrow. “Well tell me if he does. I’m not about to lose another good waitress because of him.” As she walks off I wonder if it was the mysterious Jessica Parker. I vow to ask G
abe the story when I see him next.
As I leave I am worried to see Ash and his friends outside the diner on their motorbikes. Ash calls out, “Fancy a ride little Tess?” Blushing I manage a small, “No Thank you.” Just then Gabe pulls up in his car and thankfully I race over to it. Gabe looks at them angrily. “What did he want - again?” I shrug my shoulders. “Nothing, it’s fine.” As we drive off I catch him watching us go with a strange look on his face.
Looking at Gabe I remember what I wanted to ask him. “Gabe, tell me the story about Jessica Parker. Did she work at Violet’s?” I notice that Gabe grips the steering wheel and his knuckles turn white. In a tight voice he says, “Jessica was my girlfriend. We were really happy and then Ash took a liking to her. He has this way about him that no girl appears to be able to resist and she soon fell under his spell. He used to go where he knew she would be. She worked at Violet’s the same as you and he started hanging out there with his friends. She was flattered and it wasn’t long before he seduced her. Once Skylar found out all hell broke loose. With her friends she cornered Jessica in the rest rooms. One of them held her down and Skylar cut off her hair. They then beat her up and knocked her teeth out. She was lucky not to have been seriously injured.” My heart freezes inside as I hear him talk. That poor girl and poor Gabe, he must have been devastated. “What happened next?” Gabe says bitterly, “Ash thought it was funny. He had got what he wanted from her and was bored with it all. Skylar and her gang were suspended for a couple of weeks and then came back to school as though they were heroes.” I feel sick at what I have just heard. “What happened to Jessica?” Gabe looks upset. “Her parents sold up and moved to a different town. Jessica was badly damaged psychologically and they had no choice but to start over. So you see Grace, you have to keep away from him. It’s all a game and when he has had his fun he will drop you and then Skylar will have hers. It’s what they do.”