“I stopped an attendant and asked her which dog was next in line to be put to sleep.”
“You what?” I laugh, yanking her to a stop.
“That’s about the same reaction the lady had when I said that, but I wanted to save a life, and that was the only way I knew how.”
If I didn’t want her to finish her story, I would drag her body to mine and kiss her until her lips were raw, but I restrain myself, letting her continue.
“She took me to Stella, and I instantly fell in love. I saved her, but I think she saved me, too.” Her eyes cast down before she looks back up at me, her eyes seeming far off. “Travis and I weren’t partners in a relationship; we were two people who existed in the same household, never really knowing the other. If it wasn’t for Stella, I would have suffocated under the weight of him.”
I bring my hand to her face, sliding it to the side of her head, keeping her eyes locked on me. “Did he hurt you? Is that why you stayed so long? Because you were scared to leave?”
“No,” she whispers. “For some stupid reason, I loved him.”
“And now?” I ask, my breath floating between us.
“I don’t. I have everything I need without him, and it’s so much better now that I’m free. Arya, Stella, you…” She trails off.
I can’t stand it anymore, so I crash my mouth to hers, guiding her away from the path and into the cornstalks even though we were told not to do so.
I don’t care if we get in trouble. I’ll take the heat, but the way I want to kiss Raegan is not appropriate for all the kids running around.
I press my body to hers as my tongue snakes into her mouth. I groan, savoring the taste and feel of the girl who has allowed me to slip into a small part of her world. She wraps her hands around my neck, letting her fingers delve in my hair, fisting the strands in her hands.
I know we haven’t known each other long, but I feel like it’s been a lifetime. She flipped some switch in me. She’s made me realize I need a connection with someone who could be a best friend and lover, not just an endless string of meaningless women.
My lips trail down her jaw to her neck, and I nip at her flesh as her hand moves from my head down to my biceps, clutching as hard as she can.
“Jax,” she says my name. It sounds like a prayer I’m not worthy of.
I feel my demons slip away, providing me peace for this moment, as she conforms to my body. I take her strength, and she lets me have it all, giving me someone to lean on.
I kiss back up to her mouth and swallow her moan as I hold her as close as I can.
“Hey, you two can’t be doin’ that round here,” a male voice rings through the air.
A light shines in our faces, and I detach from Raegan, pushing her behind me. She bows her head, letting it fall to my back, as she hides from the guy who told us the rules before we entered the maze.
“Sorry about that,” I say, taking Raegan’s hand in mine as I guide us out of the corn. “Won’t happen again.”
He nods his head, satisfied when we’ve cleared the stalks, and he walks away to find any other rule-breakers.
Raegan bursts out in a laugh, bending over at the waist with her hand covering her mouth. “Oh my gosh, I feel like I just got busted by my dad for making out with a guy.”
I beam at the magical sound coming from her, committing it to memory. “Yep, hormonal teenagers.”
She stands, and we continue walking through the maze, making a right at the next fork.
“Can’t you control yourself, Red? I know I’m irresistible, but let’s keep it PG.”
She slaps me across the chest. “I’m pretty sure that was your fault.”
“Nah,” I tease her, throwing my arm around her shoulders. Drawing her closer, I place a kiss on her forehead. “I don’t think it was, but you didn’t finish your story,” I remind her. “You said it was long.”
“Right. Well, pretty much, Travis wanted nothing to do with Stella. He would sit in his office, in his stupid leather chair, with his cigar, and Stella would paw at his leg.” She frowns, staring out ahead of us. “He would brush her off, shooing her away, as she whimpered at his feet.”
I hear the discomfort in her voice as she talks about him neglecting Stella.
She clutches the back of my shirt as she continues, “I had to stay late at school one day, and when I came home, I found her water bowl empty. I ripped him a new one, but all he did was walk away, not seeming to care that Stella needed food and water just like he did.”
I grind my teeth, wondering if he despised Stella that much or if he didn’t care about anything or anyone around him, Raegan included.
“The day I left Travis, I caught him with another woman in our house. I was in such a hurry to leave that I left Stella behind, and I feel horrible she was with him for so long without me.” The corner of her mouth turns down. “And then he kept her from me. I think he wanted the upper hand, something to lure me back with.”
I flatten my lips, my brows dipping together. If I ever see Travis again, I won’t hold back like I did last time. I’ll land my fist in his face and feel no remorse when he’s on the ground.
“He sounds like a complete ass.” I steer us in the direction of the lights coming through the cornstalks, assuming it’s the way out.
“He is, but it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s gone.” She shrugs as we exit the maze.
I’m not.
I’m here. I’ll be here…for as long as I can be.
Raegan
Jax pulls in the driveway at my house and switches off the ignition. I jump out, and we each slam the door at the same time.
I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun with a guy. I’ve learned that Jax is so much more than I thought he was. He’s kind, he loves his sister, and he’s almost as much of a pain in the ass as Arya, but that’s okay. I love seeing the playful side of him, not the guy who pretends to be cocky.
I know from the rumor mill at school that he’s notorious for sleeping with a different girl every day, but I don’t think that’s who he is. I don’t think that’s who he wants to be. I feel like that was him putting on a facade, and maybe, just maybe, this is who he really is.
Jax stops me before I unlock the front door, keeping me pinned in place. The tip of his nose is red from being outside in the cold when we were at the maze, and I bet mine is the same shade.
He’s always holding my attention, captivating me the way no one ever has. It’s too hard for me to resist, to fight him off, when all I want to do is dive headfirst into his gray eyes.
Meeting him has changed everything. Even if nothing comes of us or we stall out, he’ll always remind me of the stars and autumn. If we fall apart, he will forever have ruined two of my favorite things.
His eyes appraise my face, searching for something as they dance over every inch of me, trying to decipher me.
My blonde hair blows in the wind, and I lift my hand, pushing it behind my ear.
I know I’m the one holding us back. Fear is a fucking bitch, and I wish I could punch her, laying that chick flat on her ass. Too bad fear isn’t a living, breathing thing.
Without saying anything, his mouth lands on mine in a soft kiss, nothing like what we shared earlier that was full of heat.
I rest my hand on his clean-shaven face, bringing our lips closer together.
I’m learning that Jax isn’t one person. There are so many different sides of him, and each side only adds something better.
His hand molds to my waist, his touch light as his thumb caresses my hip. I shiver, telling myself it’s the wind, but there isn’t any wind, only him.
We move together, slow and purposeful, his teeth nipping at my bottom lip, but then the door flies open, and my heart pounds against my chest.
“Hey, lovebirds!” Arya shouts, making her presence known to the whole street. “Wanna come in, so you can put us all out of our misery and have explosive sex that will have me wanting to blare music through the house?”
“Seriously,” I groan, wanting to slap her across the face.
She beams, ignoring me. “I’ll even let you do it on the couch.”
I push her inside. “Oh my God, stop!”
Jax leans forward, his eyes scanning the living room. “I don’t think there’s enough room. Maybe we can push the two couches together”—my eyes widen as I balk at him—“and then we’ll have enough room.”
I shove his shoulder, and he stumbles, laughing from egging Arya on, and I hate him for it.
“I’ll watch if you want,” Arya adds as I step in the house.
I slap my hand over her mouth, keeping any more words from escaping her.
“I’m not into that kind of thing. Too nervous, performing for a crowd,” Jax confesses.
Arya spits in my hand as she laughs, and I drop my hand, my face souring, and wipe the palm of my hand on my jeans.
“You should work on your performance issues. Don’t want Raegan being left unsatisfied because you can’t perform.”
I turn sideways and glare at Arya as she stands next to me. I can’t believe her. Wait, actually, I can.
Jax grins as he watches me and Arya from the porch.
I grip the door in my hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell Jax, wanting to end the weirdest conversation I’ve ever heard.
He nods, turning to walk away. “Bye, Red.”
“You like him, don’t you?!” Arya shouts loud enough for anyone to hear her over a chainsaw.
“I fucking hate you,” I say.
Jax howls in laughter, walking backward to his truck.
I slam the door, cutting off my view of him and ending my humiliation. I turn around and press my back against the door.
“You love me.” She grins. “I know that’s what you meant.”
I stalk up the stairs and shut the door to my room after Stella waddles inside, leaving Arya in the hallway to talk to herself.
Sitting on the floor by the couch, I adjust the ears on Stella’s head. “You look so adorable,” I coo, wanting nothing more than to pinch her cheeks, like you would a chubby baby. I reach behind me, grabbing my camera that’s next to the couch. I throw off the lens cap and snap a picture.
Since tonight is the Halloween party, I wanted to put Stella in her costume. Okay, it’s not really a costume, more like cat ears and a long cat tail attached to her butt.
I thought it would be funny since I was dressing up as a dog. I wanted to be Stella for Halloween. Call me crazy or obsessed, but it’s better than being a slutty angel, like Arya. She tried to convince me to be a sexy devil, but there was no way I was going to let her talk me into that. Plus, it’s not very original, if you ask me.
At least I know no one else will be in the same costume as me. The guys at the party might act like dogs though.
I pick white fuzz off my black shirt and fling it on the carpet. If I stay on the floor much longer, I’ll need to take a lint roller to my black shorts and leggings as well as my shirt. Arya called me a weirdo for wearing shorts with my leggings. I explained to her I was not going to wear just leggings with my shirt because leggings are not pants. I don’t care what anyone says.
I glued a small, curly tail to the back of my shorts. I was going to draw whiskers on my face with a black nose, but Arya put her foot down, saying she wouldn’t come with me if I did.
“Arya,” I say, placing the headband on my head that mimics Stella’s ears. “Arya,” I say again when she doesn’t answer me. I peek over my shoulder and notice her texting on her phone. “Arya!” I shriek.
She jumps, finally coming up for air from her damn phone.
“What?” she asks, crossing the room.
I hold out my camera to her. “Take a picture.”
She takes it, shaking her head at me, causing her halo to bounce around. “You and your dog have a serious problem.”
“No, we don’t.” I place Stella in my lap, leaning my head down next to hers, and she licks my face.
Arya snaps a few pictures before I set Stella down on the ground and get on my hands and knees.
“You don’t have a problem?” she asks with wide eyes. “I’m going to take this picture, and then I want you to think long and hard about what you see.”
“Don’t be so perverted, Arya,” I retort, glaring at her.
The flash on the camera goes off, and the front door opens at the same time.
“Oh, shit,” I hear from over my shoulder, the voice vaguely familiar. “Now, I see it.”
I flip around as Graham lets out a grunt from Jax’s arm connecting with his stomach.
“Don’t you know how to knock?” Arya asks as she sets the camera on the couch.
“Graham doesn’t know how to knock,” Jax says, throwing a pointed look at his friend.
Graham shrugs. “Don’t leave it unlocked if you don’t want someone to walk in.”
Stella barks from all the noise, and she tries to run away, but I grab her before she can. I sit on my butt and stare at them in confusion.
“What are you doing here?” I ask Jax.
“Picking you up,” he says.
It’s then I see he’s dressed as Superman…kind of. He’s in jeans with a Superman shirt, and a red cape is tied around his neck.
Because Stella continues to bark, squirming in my hold, I place her on the floor in front of me.
“It’s at your house.” I take the ears and tail off Stella, knowing she’s bound to tear them up if I leave them on her. “Why would you come here just to go back?”
“It’s called being a gentleman,” Graham interjects, tipping his cowboy hat. “I know you’re not accustomed to it because Jax isn’t much of one.”
Jax shoves his shoulder. “No, that’s you, genius.”
I let go of Stella, and she runs toward the guys. She sniffs Graham’s cowboy boots before she turns to Jax, clawing at his legs. He picks her up, holding her under his arm as he pets her. My heart melts at the sight of them, and I turn into a big pile of goo.
Graham shrugs and then ambles toward Arya with his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans, playing the part of a cowboy.
“You guys are so unoriginal.” I move to my feet and walk around the couch, so we can leave.
“Don’t get me started on you,” Arya remarks, raising a brow.
Jax steps forward, making the space feel tiny with four people jammed in our small living room. “Let’s talk about the real problem. Red dressed Stella up in a costume.” He exhales, blowing air through his mouth. “Have you read any of our paper?”
“In my defense, you weren’t supposed to be here.”
“That makes it okay?” he asks, placing Stella on the couch.
“Yep,” I say, popping the P.
“I’m sorry your owner is so mean to you, Stella.” He scratches under her chin, and her butt wiggles back and forth.
I roll my eyes at them.
I shuffle everyone forward, pushing them out the front door.
When we’re outside, I don’t feel as suffocated, inhaling a lungful of air that’s tinged with burning wood.
“I can’t believe you dressed your dog up as a fucking cat,” Arya scoffs, tapping her foot. “She’s not even going with us.”
“Shut up,” I groan, closing the door.
Graham drops an arm around Arya’s shoulders, flicking her fuzzy angel wings. “It did give me a pretty nice view when I walked in.”
Jax swats Graham’s cowboy hat. “Do you want me to tell them about the time a girl walked out on you during sex?” The wind catches Jax’s cape, causing it to whip up behind him.
“Jackass,” Graham mutters as Arya shifts out from under his arm.
She wrinkles her brows as she gawks at Graham. “You must be bad in bad. I need someone who knows what they’re doing.”
She links her arm with mine, and we head down the driveway, leaving the guys alone.
“I know what I’m doing. Care to find out?” Graham shouts behind us.
&nbs
p; Arya laughs, her hand grabbing her chest. “Nope.”
“You’re really going to make him work for it, aren’t you?” I ask, adjusting the dog ears on my head.
“You know it,” she singsongs as her heels click-clack against the sidewalk.
Arya and Graham seem to be one in the same—both looking for a good time and nothing more.
I honestly don’t know how she detaches herself from the guys she hooks up with. I’ve never understood the whole casual-dating thing.
But is that what I’m doing with Jax? Are we just passing time and having fun?
I feel like I’m on a tightrope, balancing between what I want and what I think I shouldn’t want. I’m struggling to stay upright, falling closer to what I want and ignoring my head.
My gut seems to always be right when my head and heart have steered me in the wrong direction.
Jax walks up next to me, flashing a smile as he tugs on the tail glued on the back of my shorts. I playfully scowl at him. He holds his cape out at his sides and jogs ahead of us.
I bite my lip, fighting a smile. My gut is telling me to take a chance on him.
My foot sinks into the grass as we walk up to the house. I step over an empty plastic cup and pack of cigarettes. The lawn is littered with miscellaneous trash and glass liquor bottles. I cringe, seeing two girls throwing up in the bushes on the side of the house, no one bothering to hold their hair back.
I hear guys shouting, “Drink! Drink! Drink!” from the backyard. And I can imagine some guy doing a handstand on a keg, drinking his weight in beer.
Crunch. My feet falter as I step on a plastic cup and liquid splashes on my black flats. Gross.
“Is it always like this?” I question, not specifically asking anyone.
Graham tilts his head toward me. “This is tame.” I scrunch my face. “You’ve been to a college party before, right?”
I pucker my lips, my eyebrows meeting my hairline. “Not really.” Not one like this anyway.
The parties Travis took me to when he was in college were…lackluster. It was pretty much just a handful of guys playing card games, and I would sit on the couch the whole time, bored out of my mind.
The Road Without You Page 18