The Road Without You

by H. M. Sholander

  I push off the shelf and blow out a breath.

  “Mind explaining yourself?” Arya glares at me.

  A slow smiles spreads across my face. “Travis and I are over.”

  She raises a brow. “Duh, you have been.”

  I nod. “Yeah, but I don’t feel anything anymore. I don’t hate him, and I don’t love him. It’s liberating to feel free of him.”

  Arya throws an arm over my shoulders, a smile stretched across her face. “I’m glad; let’s never mention his name again. Just talking about him makes me want to heave.” I laugh, and she hugs me to her side. “Glad you’re in good spirits. Now, maybe you won’t be so pissy about our costumes.”

  I scowl. “Not a chance.”

  “Look, Rae, look,” Sam says, running toward me, her feet pounding against the tile floor. She holds out a white shopping bag.

  “What is it?” I ask when she gets closer.

  “My costume.” She smiles, her freckles more prominent under the fluorescent lights. “I’m gonna be a pumpkin, like Pepper.”

  Jax comes rushing up behind her. “I told you not to run off, Sam.”

  She smiles up at him, swaying from side to side. “Sorry.”

  “I love your costume,” Arya says. “Look what Raegan and I are gonna be.”

  She holds the two outfits in front of her, and under my breath, I mumble how much I hate her.

  The bumblebee costume is the only thing left other than a Scream mask that has blood running down it and a sexy nurse outfit.

  I bet Blondie chose the nurse costume.

  “Oh, a bee!” Sam squeals as she stomps her feet on the ground in excitement. “Will you and Rae go trick-or-treating with me?”

  Yep, I hate Arya.

  “Of course we will.” Arya drops her arm from around me and takes Sam’s hand. “Let’s go pay before Raegan changes her mind.”

  Arya glances over her shoulder, and I shoot daggers at her, wishing I had a real dagger to throw at her.

  “A bee?” Jax quirks a brow.

  I grab his hand as I walk toward the cash registers. “Don’t get me started.”

  “Maybe I have a thing for bees,” he jokes.

  I whorl around and slap him on the chest. “Since when did you and Arya decide to tag-team me?”

  “I think Arya decided that all on her own.”

  He’s right. Arya makes her own rules, but I wouldn’t have her any other way, no matter how much she drives me crazy.

  I turn back around, heading toward Arya and Sam.

  Jax pulls me to a stop, and I look over at him in confusion. I notice the hard set of his jaw, his eyes focused on something to my right.

  “Is that your ex?” he grits out.

  I follow his gaze to where Travis is leading Blondie out of the store.

  “Unfortunately,” I answer, looking back to Jax.

  He takes a step in Travis’s direction, but I tug him back, keeping him next to me. “Let him go; he’s not worth it.”

  His chest rises and falls several times before he shifts his eyes back to me. “You might be right, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to lay him out on his ass.”

  I smirk. “As much as I’d like to see that, I’d rather you not end up in handcuffs.” I stand in front of him, balancing on the balls of my feet, and I twine my arms around his neck. “I wouldn’t be able to kiss you if you were in jail.”

  I press my lips to his and feel his body relax. He claims my mouth, and I moan as he bites my bottom lip.

  His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me flush against his body. I tug the hair on the back of his head as his tongue enters my mouth, and I savor every part of him.

  The day Jax came into my life, everything changed. And, now, I wake up each day with a smile on my face and feeling anxious to talk to him. He is my fairy tale. Who knew all those Disney princess movies were right? But I don't need him to feel complete; he simply makes me happy.

  With one last lingering kiss, Jax pulls away and says, “It would be a crime if I couldn't kiss you like that again.”

  I smile up at him with the biggest grin on my face and my heart feeling lighter than it ever has.

  Jax

  A laugh bursts from me when Raegan opens the front door of her house, grimacing. She quickly turns it into a smile when Sam hugs her legs, but I continue to laugh.

  Her bumblebee costume is terrible. The antennae on her head shakes with each movement she makes. She looks like a giant potato, painted yellow and black.

  Sam zips inside, and Raegan crosses her arms, scowling at me as she blocks the doorway.

  “Where’s your costume?” she asks, her eyes traveling over my jeans and T-shirt.

  “Arya wasn’t in charge of my wardrobe.”

  “Lucky,” she mutters.

  I try to step inside, but she spreads out her arms, gripping the doorjamb.

  “Not gonna let me in?”

  She frowns. “Nope.”

  “You know”—I grab her around the waist, causing her to drop her arms—“you’re cute when you pout.”

  She pokes my shoulder. “If you wanted to get on my good side, you should have talked sense into Arya at the store.”

  “Forgive me?” I kiss each of her cheeks before my lips connect with hers.

  She opens her mouth, allowing me access, and I take advantage, kissing her like my life depends on it.

  Even dressed as a bumblebee, she’s perfect.

  “Didn’t know that’s what did it for you!” Arya shouts from inside the house.

  “What’s that mean?” Sam asks.

  I groan as I pull away from Raegan.

  “Oops, didn’t see you there, shorty.”

  I glance at Arya over Raegan’s shoulder, and I know the girl in my arms is going to blow a gasket when she sees what her best friend is wearing.

  “Let’s go,” I say, urging them out of the house as I tug on Raegan’s hand.

  “Wait, I have to get Stella.” She jerks her thumb behind her.

  “Arya will get her,” I say loud enough for her to hear me in the house.

  Sam comes rushing past me, acting like she’s hopped up on candy already. “Rae, can you help me get in the truck?”

  Raegan walks around me without question, and Arya struts out of the house with Stella on her leash.

  “Are you asking for trouble?” I ask her as I take in the police-officer outfit she’s wearing.

  “No. Why?” She picks Stella up off the ground, and Walker starts barking from the back of my truck.

  “No reason.” I scratch the back of my head and turn around at the same time Raegan shuts the door.

  “Are you kidding me?” she yells, her antenna bouncing on her head. “Where’s your bee costume?”

  I flinch, moving out of her path to Arya.

  Arya smiles, knowing exactly what she did even though she played dumb earlier. “Sam and I found this costume at the register. It was the only one left.” She shrugs. “I gave my bee costume to the person checking me out to put back on the shelf.”

  Raegan points at Arya, stalking closer to her. “You will pay for this.”

  “You can’t be mad at me. From what I saw, your boyfriend likes your costume.” She wags her eyebrows. “So, you’re welcome, but some of us still need to look for a man.”

  Arya struts past Raegan and hops in the backseat with Sam and Walker, still holding Stella in her arms.

  I throw my arm over Raegan’s shoulders and kiss her cheek. “You’re the hottest bumblebee I’ve ever seen.”

  She elbows me in the stomach, and I grunt, dropping my arm from around her.

  “You and Arya suck.” She stalks away from me and gets in the truck, closing the door.

  I shake my head, knowing I’m going to have to deal with a sulky Raegan the rest of the night.

  We all file out of the truck as Graham parks next to us in the parking area by the neighborhood pool. We came to one of the nicest neighborhoods in town. They go all out for Hall
oween, decking out their front yards with headstones, ghosts, and fog.

  “What’s he doing here?” Arya asks as Graham strides up next to her.

  Stella barks in her arms as Graham bumps Arya’s shoulder.

  “I know you missed me, babe.” He grins and throws her a wink. “Do you want to play another round of beer pong? Maybe we can make a bet this time? Loser strips—”

  “Graham,” I grit out, pointing to Sam, who’s clutching my leg.

  You’d think he’d have remembered she was here since Sam was the one who’d invited him. I think she has a crush on him.

  “What’s up, pumpkin?” He kneels next to her.

  Sam smiles, swinging her bucket from side to side, blushing. “Hi, Graham.”

  Arya scoffs. “Of course, she can say his name.”

  Raegan comes walking around the truck with Walker. He drags her as he runs up to Graham, jumping on him, nearly knocking him over.

  “Sorry, Walker had to pee,” Raegan says.

  Sam giggles as she glances up at Raegan before she looks back to Graham, who is kissing Walker. “What are you supposed to be?” she asks him.

  He stands, stretching out his arms. “I’m a criminal.” His eyes slide to Arya. “I need to be arrested.”

  “And you call me the freak for wearing a matching costume,” Raegan grumbles.

  “With your dog,” Arya corrects as she points to a wiggling Stella in her arms.

  “Since you two are the tagalongs,” I say to Graham and Arya, “you’re both on dog duty.”

  I take the leash from Raegan and shove it at Graham. “Have fun.” I pick Sam up and grab Raegan’s hand, leaving Arya and Graham to be as inappropriate as they want without my sister witnessing it.

  “Why’d you invite them if you were just going to ditch them?” Raegan asks, squeezing my hand.

  I smile over at her. “Munchkin here invited them, didn’t you?”

  She nods her head.

  “But we don’t want them to get all the candy, do we?”

  Sam’s mouth drops open. “No, I want the candy.”

  I laugh, setting her on her feet, as we stop at the end of the driveway at the first house. She grips my jeans, her eyes wide as she takes in the scarecrow, cobwebs, and giant black spider in the yard.

  Raegan leans down, grabbing her hand. “It’s okay. It’s not real.”

  Sam doesn’t seem to believe her as she continues to gape at the decorations.

  Raegan walks through the grass as Sam and I stand by the driveway. She hits the spider on the head. “See?”

  She does it three more times, and Sam breaks out in a fit of giggles.

  “Want me to go with you to the door?” Raegan asks.

  Sam shakes her head, grinning. “No, I wanna do it alone.”

  Raegan moves back to my side as my sister runs up the driveway and knocks on the door.

  “Red,” I say, stepping in front of her and placing my hands on her face, “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  “You would have your hands full—”

  I cut her off, smiling, as I kiss the girl who has made everything in my life infinitely better.

  Her lips are soft, and I devour her, warm vanilla surrounding me, as my tongue snakes into her mouth. Her hands fist the sleeves of my shirt, and I savor the way she seems to crave me as much as I do her.

  I haven’t lost myself in her like I thought I would. Instead, she’s made my world brighter and my breathing easier.

  I nip at her lips, wishing I could do so much more than kiss her right now.

  “Ew, stop kissing,” Sam complains.

  I pull away from Raegan. “I’m gonna remember you said that the first time you kiss a boy,” I tell her.

  “I’m never kissing a boy.” She shakes her head.

  I laugh as I pick her up, throwing her over my shoulder. She shrieks in my ear as I run down the street with her bouncing on my shoulder.

  “My candy,” she squeals.

  “I got it!” Raegan shouts.

  I look over my shoulder to see the hottest bumblebee bent over with her stinger in the air.

  Raegan

  I lean against Jax’s truck, glad to be in jeans and an old sweatshirt. I hated wearing that bumblebee outfit today. It was as scratchy as wool. I even have a rash on my side to prove it.

  Jax grabs my hand. “Sam had fun tonight.” He smiles. “She needed it. With all the shit she witnesses at home, it’s good for her to be a four-year-old, not wondering why her parents fight all the time.”

  I lean my head on the window. “I think you needed it, too.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because you have to deal with it as much as she does.” I push off the truck and stand across from him. “You take care of your sister like she’s your kid.” I place my hand on his chest. “You have a big heart, Jax. I admire that, but I hate the situation you’re in for you. You take on more than you should have to.”

  He grabs my sweatshirt and pulls me against his chest, wrapping an arm around my back. “It’s not as easy as I thought it would be.” He presses his cheek against the top of my head.

  “What do you mean?”

  His hand runs up and down my back, like he’s comforting me, but I sense it’s more to ease his own mind. “Life.”

  “It’s never as easy as we think it will be.” I fold my arms around his waist. “Everything about being an adult is romanticized when you’re growing up. You think life is going to be one big party when you graduate.”

  I remember when I was a kid not being able to wait to stay up all night and do whatever I wanted. But you never think of everything else that comes along with that. Responsibilities, like bills, jobs, and in some cases, taking care of a family you never imagined having to support, come with being an adult.

  I take a step away from Jax and place a hand on his neck.

  “Sometimes life is the opposite of your fantasy, but you do the best you can each day you wake up.” The side of his mouth curves up as his gray eyes pierce me. “It’s gonna be fine. Sam will grow up having the best big brother in the world, and you’ll be able to watch her shine.” I balance on the balls of my feet and place a lingering kiss on his cheek. “And I’ll be here, reminding you how much of a difference you make in your sister’s life.”

  He drops his head, and his lips connect with mine. It’s soft and demanding. I tell him without words how much he means to me.

  My hand moves to the back of his head, my fingers delving in his brown hair as his tongue slips in my mouth. I let him consume me, our surroundings floating away.

  His arms hold me tight against him, pressing me as close as possible to his body. He spins me around and pushes me against the back of his truck. Goosebumps coat my skin as the wind filters through my clothes, so I draw Jax closer, taking his heat as he swallows me whole.

  The muffled sound of his ringtone pulls us apart. He rests his forehead on mine as he reaches in his pocket and pulls out his phone.

  He answers it without taking his eyes off me. “Hello.”

  In less than a second, his body goes rigid, his jaw tense and arms tight.

  He pushes away from me as his eyes harden, becoming colder than the chill in the night air.

  “I’m coming,” he says in a calm voice, the opposite of his body language as he runs around his truck and throws open the door. “Don’t hang up; stay where you are.”

  I open the passenger’s door. “What’s going on?” My brows knit together as I watch him fumble with his seatbelt.

  When his seatbelt clicks, he starts the truck, and it roars to life. “Sam, it’s gonna be okay.”

  I don’t wait for an answer from him. As soon as I hear Sam’s name, I hop in the truck and slam the door.

  He doesn’t say anything to me as he speeds away from my house.

  “Take a deep breath,” he says, as his chest rises and falls, like he’s taking his own advice.

  “I’m gonna be there soon.”
He grips the wheel. “Sam!”

  He jerks the phone away from his ear as he steps on the gas, the truck moving faster down the street.

  He redials the number, and his jaw tics as he waits for the call to connect, but when he pulls it away from his ear, I assume it never did.

  “Goddamn it!” He chucks the phone to his feet.

  I place a hand on his arm, but I don’t offer anything else, knowing something isn’t right, and there isn’t anything I can do besides be here.

  Jax

  Sam hiccups in my ear as I speed away from Raegan’s house. “Take a deep breath,” I say to her. She breathes in and out, and I do the same.

  Walker barks in the background. “Come get me, Jax.” She sniffs. I imagine her eyes puffy and nose running.

  I grind my teeth, my body harder than stone.

  “I’m gonna be there soon,” I reassure her.

  “Jax—”

  The line cuts out, and I grip the steering wheel. “Sam!” I yank the phone from my ear and press redial. The line rings and rings. I curse my parent’s for never setting up an answering machine.

  I end the call, my blood burning. “Goddamn it!” I chuck the phone at the floorboard, and it hits my foot, but I barely register the tinge of pain.

  What happened to Sam? Why did the line cut out, and why didn’t she answer when I called back?

  Raegan places a hand on my arm, her thumb sweeping across my skin.

  My chest tightens as Sam’s voice plays over in my head, pleading and crying.

  I dropped Walker off with Sam tonight when I took her home after trick-or-treating. She begged me to let him stay. I never have been good at denying her, and tonight, I’m more than grateful he’s with her. I know she’s safe with him. He’ll protect her, just like I would.

  I white-knuckle the steering wheel, gripping it tighter, the closer we get to my parents’ house.

  Raegan drops her hand and sits straight up in her seat, looking from the road to me. “Is Sam okay?”

  I grit my teeth. “I don’t know.”

  But, if Sam is calling me, crying, I know it can’t be good, and if she isn’t okay, I’ll lose it on both my parents.

  I turn right, barely stopping at the Stop sign.