That shocked me. Not only did Logan know I was a Mormon, but he’d discussed it with his family. After Camden set me back down in my seat, I couldn’t help but think about Logan thinking about me being a Mormon. It was like a door had been opened and I no longer had to feel weird talking about it with him. And I would. Soon.
After that night, I had to acknowledge that Logan loved his family. And I did, too. They were too fun, and I fit right in. He had been talking about them the past month, and it felt natural for us to hang out there.
We rarely spent time with anyone besides his family after that. Every minute we were with someone else felt like wasted time. My parents and I were suddenly at complete odds. It seemed like they planned things just to make it impossible for me to be with Logan.
“We already bought the tickets, Brooklyn,” my dad said, “and you are going with us. You’ve done nothing with the family for over a month and that is stopping tonight. I know you wanted to see this movie, so we are—together.”
“But I wanted to see it with Logan. Why didn’t you get him a ticket?”
“This is a family activity Brooke.” My mom gave me a stern look.
“But, Mom!”
“No buts,” my dad said, raising his voice. He never raised his voice.
“Enough, Brooklyn. We are going and that’s that.”
“If he were Cal, you’d have gotten him a ticket.”
“Well, we knew Cal better, didn’t we?” My mom’s voice had taken on a deadly tone. “You actually brought him around.”
“You just haven’t given him a chance.”
My dad moved toward me. “You,” he emphasized the you, “have not given us the opportunity to get to know him. Bring him around. We’d love to get to know him.” His words were sincere, but I felt like behind those words he was doubtful he’d ever like him.
I huffed. “You wouldn’t like him anyway.”
“Give us a chance, honey,” my mom said. “It seems like you’re hiding him away from us. It makes us wonder what’s up. It’s just all happened so fast with you two, and we feel out of the loop.”
“It’s not like you have any say who I’m with. Why do you have to be so nosy.”
My mom shook her head. “We don’t have time for this. We’re going to be late for the movie.” She and Hannah headed down the stairs. I stood my ground and glared at my dad. He took hold of my shoulders and turned me around so I was facing the stairs. I huffed again and, growling, I descended the steps.
I sat on the end and used my purse to text Logan the whole time.
Question #21.
I thought the game was twenty questions.
I’ve modified the game to fit the situation.
LOL
Ever snuck out?
I looked down the row at my parents who were lost in the movie. No.
Maybe it’s about time.
I looked back at my parents, guilt hitting me for something I hadn’t even done.
He texted back. I just have to see you. Tonight at midnight. I’ll pick you up on the side of your house.
Fear and dread and guilt gave way to excitement, and I texted back. See you then.
At ten to midnight, I went right out the front door. My parents weren’t the suspicious type, and I wasn’t even worried that they would think I would actually sneak out.
Logan was waiting for me in his car on the street. After sitting in the car, I leaned in for a kiss. He reached out and hugged me. “I wasn’t sure you’d really come. I kept waiting for the text that told me you’d changed your mind.” He spoke into my hair. He pulled back and took my hand in his. His hand trembled as it grabbed mine.
“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world,” I said, not even having to convince myself. We drove up to make out point and did just that. The truth of the matter was that we spent a good third of the time we were together locking lips, and our kisses only grew more passionate as time went on. If I thought about it, putting my tongue into someone else’s mouth was quite the disgusting action. And truly, I shouldn’t have been doing it, but there was something about it that got my whole body going. And it was great. It got harder and harder to stop. That’s what my mom had always warned me about—really liking to kiss. But, really, why would I want to stop when it felt so darn great? I ignored the guilt that plagued me telling myself that it was okay, because I loved this boy and I was sure he loved me. Nothing bad would happen. I wouldn’t let it.
Logan and I had been exclusively dating for a month, and I knew it would never end. I loved being with him. I loved being with his family. I was going to marry this guy. I was sure of it. It was nuts. I was sixteen and thinking about getting married to a guy I’d only known for about five weeks. The only thing I could see that hadn’t happened already that needed to happen was talking to him about my religion. I wanted him to know all about it so he could see how wonderful it was.
Even though Logan wasn’t religious, I figured I could show him over time what I believed, and he would automatically adopt my beliefs. Since he didn’t already have a particular faith, I saw no barriers to him seeing what I saw in my Christian faith. We were young anyway. We had years for him to decide to accept it.
That Friday, instead of making out all night, I was going to bring it up and see what happened. After the movie at his house, we went outside and sat on the swing in front of his house. He moved in for a kiss and I gladly kissed him back, but before I got too lost in him, I pulled back and said, “So, um, why don’t you go to church?”
He pulled his chin in and jerked back slightly. “Well that was a question I never thought you’d ask me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, we’ve been together for over three weeks, and you’ve never brought it up before.”
“I know, but I’ve been thinking you might want to know what I believe. I kept thinking you would have asked me by now, but you haven’t.”
“I know you’re a Mormon.”
I laughed quietly. “But do you know what that means?”
“I know you don’t swear, drink coffee, tea, or alcohol, and you don’t smoke or do drugs.”
“Those are just things we don’t do. I wanted you to know what I believe—in here.” I brought his hand to my heart.
His face had a look I’d never seen before. Was he mad?
“You know I’m not religious.”
“I know.”
“Well, I’m not going to join your religion.”
That took me off guard. “I’m not trying to convert you. I just want you to know why I believe what I believe.” I fought the anger that boiled up in me.
He sighed, his teeth clenched.
“Do you even believe in a God?” I asked.
“Of course.” His face was a hard mask like he couldn’t believe I’d just asked him such a stupid question.
“I didn’t know that about you, and I want to know everything.” I looked at my lap, upset at how badly the conversation was going.
His voice softened, and he moved closer to me. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t think we’d ever end up talking about this.”
“Well, my beliefs are important to me, and I want you to know everything about me, too.”
His lips gently pressed on mine. “I do want to know everything about you.” His lips lingered, and I kissed him back. I couldn’t resist. But then I pulled back. We talked about what we both believed until frustration lined his voice once more. “But I can’t give you those things.”
I decided we’d had enough and, even frustrated, he was too cute. I knew what would make him relax, I kissed him along his jawline until our lips met. The rest of the evening was spent with urgent kisses.
I dismissed his concerns about religion, thinking that one day the two of us would be able to talk openly about it. I wasn’t worried about it until another week had passed and we’d made no headway on the subject. He was getting frustrated more quickly when we talked about it and it always ended with the same words, �
�But I can’t give you those things.”
The next day, after spending all night tossing and turning, I decided I needed some advice. Even though we’d been fighting lately, I knew I needed to talk to my mom.
She was on the computer writing her latest novel. I usually didn’t bother her when she was working, but I needed her.
I stood behind her for a few minutes and, sensing I was there, she turned around. “Hi, sweetie.”
“Hi, Mom.” I shifted from foot to foot.
“I made some brownies,” she said. “Feel like having some with some milk?”
“I’ll pass on the milk, but a brownie sounds great.” My mom, though sometimes irritating, was truly the best. There was no doubt she knew I needed to talk. We walked together to the kitchen.
“I don’t know what to do, Mom,” I whined.
She waited patiently, biting into her brownie and taking a drink of milk.
“You know Logan doesn’t go to any church.”
She nodded.
“And you know how important church is to me.”
She nodded again.
“Well, I don’t know how to make him see how important it is to me. He just gets frustrated with me.”
“Well, sweetie, I think it’s hard enough to learn about any religion, let alone ours. Especially where he’s coming from zero religion. I think it’s important you are patient with him. Whatever you do, don’t push.”
“I’m not pushing, Mom.” I was letting her irritate me. “And I’m being patient!” I hadn’t touched my brownie. I wasn’t sure why I was feeling so ornery, but I was. Maybe it was because I wanted my mom to give me the magic answer, and I knew there wasn’t one.
She gave me a sympathetic look and pulled me into a hug. I accepted it and hugged her back, holding her tighter than I had since I started dating Logan. All my tension seemed to melt away. My mom’s hugs were the best. She was giving me the one thing that I really needed. Support. Unconditional support.
She had such a great way of listening to me, and instead of irritating me, she would give me this great wisdom. She somehow gave me bits of advice without it sounding too preachy. But at the moment, the question I had was one she couldn’t answer. She couldn’t fix it. And while I didn’t tell her outright that I loved him, she knew. She always knew everything about me. And I could tell she wanted me to slow down. She’d never say it in those words, but I knew.
“You know, just because you love someone doesn’t mean they will follow in the same path you’ve taken. You may think that something is the best thing ever, but that doesn’t mean the person you love will feel the same way.” On some level, I knew she was right, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it.
In the end, the brownies and milk were gone, and while I felt like my mom and I had reconnected on some level, I was more worried about Logan and me and our future together.
I hurried to get ready for our date that night. I didn’t know what we were going to do, he just told me to dress up and be ready for an amazing night. I needed an amazing night.
I was hoping since I’d dressed up that Logan would come to the door to get me. It was something that bugged my mom a lot. He would pull into the drive and text me to come out to the car whenever he picked me up. Unfortunately, he didn’t. My mom smiled at me as I went out the door. It was the smile that showed disapproval. This night was not starting out amazing.
As I walked down the sidewalk, he did do something amazing, he got out and met me at the passenger side door. He pulled me in for a sweet kiss and then opened the door for me. After he got in, he kissed me again and then handed me a wrapped box.
“What is this?”
He gave me a coy smile. “Open it and you’ll see.” He kissed me again.
I ripped into the paper and found a CD. Dierks Bentley. “What?” I asked. I turned it over to see our song listed on the CD.
“Well, open it up. We couldn’t very well celebrate our one-month anniversary of our first date without guaranteeing we hear our song, now could I?”
“No! Really?”
He could have been mad that I didn’t know, but he wasn’t. His smile was as big as ever before he said, “Yes! Really!” He took the CD from me and put it in, skipping to our song, Sideways. Then we pulled out and headed for a nice dinner at a super fancy restaurant downtown. From there we went to a musical, West Side Story.
On our way to our seats he said, “I chose this musical because it reminded me of us. We come from such different backgrounds, and yet we are amazing together. Don’t you think?” He looked down at me, his eyes smoldering.
“I do!” I pulled on his arm, bringing him even closer to me. As soon as we sat, I put my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him to me. I let my lips touch his with a gentle fervor that turned into a full-on heated frenzy that didn’t end until we were forced to stand to let someone pass to their seats in the middle of the row.
At first we were embarrassed to be caught in such a way, but then leaned together and laughed quietly until the musical started.
A warm breeze met us leaving the building, and I threw my head back and my arms out. “This is the most awesome night ever!”
He put his arm under my arms and behind my legs and picked me up, carrying me across the parking lot and to a bench in an adjacent park. He sat and held me on his lap, and I tucked my head against his hard chest. After kissing me, he handed me another box. “What is this?”
“Haven’t we already been over this?” He raised his eyebrows.
I giggled thinking about him handing me the wrapped CD. I opened the box to find a silver chain with a round ring that held a few charms. I pulled it close to examine the three charms already on it. I laughed out loud when I noticed what they were: Barbie, Ken, and their dream house.
“You laugh.” He raised an eyebrow and a low chuckle came from deep in his chest. “One day this could be us.” A seriousness blinked across his eyes, gone as soon as I recognized it.
I held the house in my fingers. “But what about my white picket fence and two point five kids?”
“Why do you think I didn’t fill it with charms? It’s ours to fill together.” He laughed. “We could fill it with the greatest things. You and me against the world.”
“You and me on top of the world.” I looked him right in the eye, and his laughing tapered off.
“Wouldn’t it be amazing if we did end up together? We would be so incredible together.”
“We would.” I said it with all the seriousness I could. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead I said, “I can’t imagine my world without you.”
He kissed me. “You better never leave my world. Everything would be gray without you.” He hugged me, and then clasped the necklace around my neck. He kissed the top of my hand.
I went to sleep that night thinking about how great it would be to end up with Logan. I knew my feelings for him were true. I couldn’t imagine anything happening to make me ever feel anything but love for him. Nothing he could do would tear me away from him. Ever.
If I hadn’t had to teach swim lessons each morning, I would have spent every minute with him. It felt good.
Chapter 5
Our family vacation was looming, and I was torn. I couldn’t imagine spending two weeks without Logan, but I also couldn’t imagine not going on the trip with my family. We were going to South Beach, Florida after all. Besides, I knew my mom wouldn’t let me stay home. She said it was time for a nice time-out between Logan and me. The thought of it made my stomach feel like a storm was brewing in it.
“You know, Brooklyn, you two have been inseparable. A little time away from each other might be just what you need. It’s been my experience that it either strengthens the relationship or helps it end.” She laughed when she said it, but I knew she was serious. I just knew that when I returned, our relationship would be even stronger.
“Well, I don’t want it to end.” I clenched my jaw and threw my hands in
the air in an I-give-up gesture.
She pressed her lips together. “I know that’s not what you want, but maybe it’s the right thing. That’s all I’m saying.”
“You aren’t helping things. Why can’t he come with us? I know his parents will let him. He’s never been to Florida.”
“We’ve been over this. It’s our family vacation. And last time I checked, he wasn’t a part of our family.”
“Well his family considers me a part of their family. Why can’t you accept him like they’ve accepted me?”
She sighed loudly. I was pushing her buttons, and I liked it for some reason. “Well, maybe if you brought him around more often, I might get to know him better. You two hang out at his house all the time. What do you expect?”
“I expect you to trust my judgment and like him simply because I tell you he’s awesome. Why can’t you believe me?” I stomped my foot.
“I do trust you, young lady, and you better check your attitude. Ever since you started dating this young man you’ve become more and more distant and moody. It’s hard for me to approve of him when he seems to be influencing you in ways that are not good.”
“What?” I yelled, turning to leave.
“Don’t you walk away from me. Before you started dating that young man, you never would have treated me the way you are now. How do you explain that?”
“It has nothing to do with him,” I spat. “It’s you and dad. You won’t give him a chance, and I really, really like him!” I knew I was yelling, but I couldn’t stop myself.
My mom scrubbed her hands over her face. When her hands dropped in front of her, she clenched them tight. Her face was back to its usual, happy look. “Sweetie, we would love to get to know Logan. Why don’t you invite him to dinner tomorrow or the next day? Then we can get to know him.”
That didn’t sound like a very good idea. I only had two days with him before we left. I didn’t want to spend them with my parents. I wanted every minute with him and no one else. “We already have plans, but we can do it after the trip.”
Dream Kiss (Sweet N' Sour Kisses Page 5