by Ashley John
“Maybe we got too close? We have to work together now.”
“What if we’re not close enough?” Ezra drooped his brows low over his eyes, “What if I want us to be closer?”
Ezra’s admission made a fist tighten firmly around Joshua’s gut. As he stared at the man in his father’s seat, he knew he should have hated him. He wanted to get back to his office to read the paperwork he’d found in the safe, hoping it would reveal a way to bring Ezra down.
But as he thought all of that, he just wanted to stare at Ezra. He wanted to soak in his arrogant beauty. He wanted to take his clothes off and do things he’d never dreamed of doing to another man.
And that’s why you can’t let yourself.
“What if I don’t want us to be closer?” his tone was dismissive, “You and me, Ezra, it’s nothing.”
“Are you declaring war on me, Joshua?” Ezra leaned forwards, resting his elbows on the desk, “I don’t think you want to do that. I’m better as your friend.”
The look in his eyes was that of a man being deadly serious.
“We were never friends,” Joshua turned his back on him and opened the door, “you’re just really good at getting what you want with people.”
Closing the door, he headed straight for the lift, the Japanese food bag clutched tightly in his fist. When he was in the reception, he headed straight outside and headed for the nearest park. Once there, he picked at the sushi Ezra had chosen for him, wondering if he should be proud of himself or not.
Somehow, he felt like he was living up to what his father always wanted from him.
Maybe this was all just all a sick test.
Ezra crouched over the grave, gently placing the white lilies over the plastic wrappers filled with dead, rotting flowers. How long has it been since somebody visited her grave?
He stared at the carvings in the marble but they were nothing more than empty words.
‘Lily Amelia Steele. 4th May 2008 – 30th June 2010. Rest in peace our angel.’
The sun and rain had discoloured the tiny picture in the grave to the point where it was nothing more than a faded ghost. Opening his wallet, he plucked out the last picture he’d taken of Lily, slotting it into the space, knowing that he had more copies at home to replace the one in his wallet.
It all felt like a strange routine, which meant he could stay detached from what it actually meant. It had been something he’d done every week, and then every month, and then only once a year. I should visit you more. He knew it was an empty promise. It was too difficult.
Five years felt important. Five years without her felt like five minutes, even if everything had changed. It was a week until the anniversary but he could never bring himself to visit on that day. He knew it would be filled with Jade’s side of the family. They would start the day polite and sober but it wouldn’t be long until they cracked out the cans and the dope. Just another chance to get wrecked. I’m better staying away from that.
Wiping the tears from his cheeks, he stood up and straightened out his suit. He kissed his fingers and gently placed it on her smile.
“See you later,” he whispered.
It sounded even more stupid out loud but he had no idea what else he was supposed to say. He’d spent years building up the walls. He’d trained himself to no longer cry. He’d trained himself to only think about Lily when he really needed to. June was always the difficult month but he’d had Joshua to keep his mind occupied.
Joshua had been his single thought since they had met but he knew where he stood with him now. He knew he shouldn’t have expected anything more from him, but he had. That makes you the fool.
He slowly weaved in and out of the graves to the tiny car park in front of St. John of Jerusalem Church in the heart of Hackney. A group of teens were sitting on the wall opposite his car, eying it up with jealousy. He was half daring one of them to touch it as he walked towards it.
“Sick car, mate,” one of them called.
“I’m not your ‘mate’,” Ezra snapped back.
As they showered him with insults and threats, he jumped into the car. Within seconds he had the engine roaring into life and he was speeding through Hackney so fast, the world became a blur around him. He didn’t want to see the place he’d grown up. He didn’t want to see the people he’d grown up with. He didn’t want to see Jade. He didn’t want to see the flat they had lived in.
He wanted to be back in the safety of his house where he could pretend he fit in. When he headed onto the A501 road back to Holland Park, his phone started to ring. Pulling it from his inside pocket, he jammed it in-between his ear and shoulder as he weaved in and out of the traffic.
“What?” he barked.
“Mr. Steele,” it was his assistant, Becky, “there’s a slight problem here, the -,”
“I told you to cancel all of my meetings.”
He didn’t want to go anywhere near the tower. He didn’t want to be in the same building as Joshua because the attraction was quickly turning to resentment and he didn’t trust himself to keep his cool for a whole day.
“I know you did, and I tried, but the Chinese reps are here.”
The clock on the dashboard told him that it was still four hours early for the meeting with the Chinese reps.
“Send them away,” he said it as though it was obvious, “I told you to -,”
“I know, Ezra, but, Joshua Silverton is talking to them. They said they’re only in town for the day and he said he’d speak to them.”
That was all Ezra needed to hear to change direction. Becky was already waiting in reception when he got there.
“I tried to stop him. He said he knew what he was doing,” she tried to keep up with him as he headed towards the lifts, “they’re in your boardroom.”
“How long have they been in there?”
“Half an hour.”
He stabbed the lift button as he tried to contain the various swear words that were dancing on the tip of his tongue. He didn’t know what Joshua thought he was doing but he needed to shut it down immediately. It was a deal worth millions and Ezra couldn’t let that kid piss it away because he was throwing his toys out of the pram.
The lift slowly rose to the top floor and he felt every passing second skidding through his palms.
What is he saying to them?
When the doors opened, he left Becky and half sprinted towards his office. He burst into the boardroom to see the entire twelve man Chinese team all hanging on every word Joshua was saying to them.
“And I told him, I said it was dog, but he wouldn’t listen!”
“And he ate the whole thing?” one of the men asked.
“Every last bite!”
Laughter filled the room but Ezra wasn’t laughing. He stared at Joshua but he seemed to be intentionally ignoring him.
“Ah, Mr. Steele,” the head of SimCo Tech stood up, “good to see you my friend.”
Tabor stood and bowed to Ezra with his hands clapped. The rest of the men did the same but seated.
“Sorry I’m late gentlemen,” Ezra smiled at the faces around the room, “Joshua, outside for a second?”
“Ah, your partner has some really great ideas,” Tabor grinned, “just like his father.”
A smug smirk split Joshua’s face in two, instantly boiling Ezra’s blood. The boardroom table was filled with the initial designs but they had been attacked with marker pen. This can’t be happening.
“Joshua?” Ezra pleaded with his eyes.
“Excuse me, gentlemen,” Joshua joined his hands and bowed his head.
As he passed Tabor, he slapped him heartily on the shoulders and Tabor jumped and laughed. Oh, God, what is he doing? Stepping to the side, he managed to keep the smile on his face as Joshua passed him. He could practically smell the arrogance.
When they were in his office, he dug his fingers into Joshua’s arm, dragging him out into the open space.
“What do you think you’re doing in there?”
“You’re welcome!” Joshua laughed, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “I’m saving your arse.”
Joshua was wearing a suit but the tie had gone. The top of his shirt was open and Ezra could see the top of his tattoo-covered chest.
“You’re a joke,” Ezra cried, “you’re trying to ruin this company.”
The room fell silent. He felt everybody stop what they were doing to look up at the unfolding drama.
“Are you serious right now?” he snapped back, “They’re loving me in there. They’re eating out of the palm of my hand.”
Ezra was so close to punching Joshua in the face, just to see if he could wipe the smugness away. His beauty had been consumed by the arrogance. The more I look at him, the more I see Bill.
“You have no idea what you’re doing,” he tried to keep his voice under control but it was impossible, “you’re just a kid. You have no idea how to handle these people.”
“Hold up,” Joshua held his hands up, “I know their culture and I know their market. I lived it. You’re the one who has no idea.”
“I’ve built up a relationship with them. It wasn’t easy. After your dad popped it, they wanted to take their business somewhere else. Do you realise the hours I’ve spent negotiating this deal? You’ve just wasted a year’s work.”
Lowering his head, Joshua’s hair flopped in front of his face. The attraction had worn off and it had been consumed with regret and anger. Why did he have to come back to London? Why did I have to meet him? Why did I want him here so badly?
“They just doubled their order,” Joshua shook his head as he tossed his arms out, “but what do I know? I’m just here to ruin things for you.”
He pushed past Ezra, smashing into his shoulder. He listened to Joshua’s heels as they headed for the lift in silence.
“Double?” Ezra called after him.
Every pair of eyes was staring at them now.
“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Joshua called back, sticking his middle finger up over his shoulder.
Swallowing his pride, Ezra ran after him. He grabbed him by the arm and dragged him off to Joshua’s office.
“Get the fuck off me,” Joshua cried, “You’re all seeing this, aren’t you? Assault!”
Tossing him into his Joshua’s office, Ezra slammed the door, shutting out the prying eyes and ears. It only took a moment for them to erupt into speculative discussion.
“You got them to double their order?” Ezra planted himself in front of the closed door, “Are you just trying to be the big man?”
Ezra had struggled to get them to the numbers he had. It had been a fight so he doubted Joshua had changed that in half an hour.
“They want to go with 500,000 shipments.”
“500,000?” Ezra almost choked on the word.
“They really liked my ideas,” Joshua shrugged, “those designs you got the guys downstairs to come up with are shit. I started presenting them but it was obvious they didn’t like them, so I did some tweaks.”
“Tweaks?” Ezra felt close to passing out, “They’re professional designers. What do you know?”
“Apparently nothing,” he announced.
He swallowed his pride again along with his anger.
“No, tell me what you know that we missed,” Ezra said calmly.
Joshua assessed him for a moment as if wondering whether to let Ezra in.
“All of your designs, they’ve been done. The Asian market is a different ball game. Over there, they don’t like what we like. Did you know shell phones have made a huge comeback in Japan?”
“You mean, flip phones?” Ezra laughed, “They’ve been dead for years.”
“Yeah, and they’ve just made a huge comeback in East Asia. Smart phones in a shell design. I showed them my ideas of what I thought would sell and they loved it. They said if we can come up with new designs based around that concept, they would double their initial order and we could take it to production.”
He didn’t feel like he was listening to Joshua. He felt like he was talking to a fellow businessman who knew exactly what they were talking about. He’d identified a trend, he’d created a product, he’d pitched it and up-scaled an order.
“I’ve clearly underestimated you.”
“What?”
“Don’t make me say it again,” Ezra rolled his eyes, “you heard me.”
“No,” Joshua cupped his hand around his ear, “I want to hear you say it again.”
Oh, you’re such a twat.
“Do you want to get back in there to wrap this up, or not?” Ezra opened the door, “You’re clearly doing a good job here.”
Closing his eyes, Joshua leaned against the front of his desk with a soft smile on his face. As the warm afternoon sun hit his skin, Ezra felt every inch of the attraction flooding back.
“I just want to soak this in for a second,” he peeked through his lashes.
“Don’t take the piss,” Ezra yanked on his arm, “C’mon, you don’t want to keep these guys waiting.”
When they stepped out of Joshua’s office it suddenly turned quiet again and all of the eyes watched them walk back to Ezra’s office. He knew it would give them something to talk about for the next couple of days.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Joshua jumped in front of Ezra before he had chance to enter first, “me and my partner were just discussing a few things.”
“Don’t push it,” Ezra whispered through a crack in his mouth.
He almost walked to the front of the boardroom but he decided to take a step back. He gave Joshua permission to take the lead with a quick nod but it looked like he was going to with or without Ezra.
He was all over the place like an excited child who wanted to get all of their ideas out at once. He jumped from idea to idea, scribbling on sheets of paper, scribbling on the presentation board but he seemed to have them eating out of the palm of his hand.
Just having the chance to show what he was made of, Joshua was blowing all of Ezra’s expectations out of the water. He was like a supercharged version of Bill. Seeing Joshua so animated excited Ezra in more ways than one. A quick rearrangement of himself through his pocket kept his erection from spoiling the show but he couldn’t hide the proud smile as easily.
Would it be so bad if we were partners?
He tried to dismiss the idea but just imagining how they had work together made the smile grow. Ezra Steele was usually like a dog with a bone when it came to what he wanted but he knew he was going to have to learn to drop this bone.
When the men finally headed back to their hotel, Ezra watched as Joshua started to clean up the mess he’d made.
“I’m sorry,” Ezra stepped out of the shadows to help, “I should never have doubted you.”
“An apology from Ezra Steele?” Joshua snatched the papers out of Ezra’s grip, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Don’t be a child,” he snatched them back, “I’m trying to be nice here.”
Joshua stacked the papers and tucked them under his arm. Reaching up to turn off the overhead projector, his white shirt slid out of his trousers, giving Ezra a perfect view of his flat stomach. His eyes drifted from his belly button to the path into his underwear.
“I don’t want you to be nice,” Joshua straightened out his suit, “I meant what I said yesterday.”
It felt like a knife twisting in Ezra’s stomach. Why am I even trying to reach out to him?
“Joshua, you could just drop this? We could just get on?”
Joshua stopped sorting through the papers for a moment. He looked up to Ezra and their eyes connected briefly. Quickly looking back down to the papers again, he scowled and backed away.
“I think it’s better if we just keep our relationship professional,” he said, “it’ll make things easier when -,” his voice trailed off and he looked as though he was about to say something he was going to regret.
“Easier when?” Ezra prompted.
“Easier when you give me an official ti
tle?” Joshua tried his best to sound casual but it didn’t work, “That’s all.”
He walked past Ezra with the papers under his arms but Ezra couldn’t just let him walk away. In one quick movement he pulled Joshua in, forcing him into a kiss. He didn’t know what it would achieve, he just hoped it would ignite something within Joshua.
For a second, it did. He kissed him back with a passion that blinded Ezra from what was really going on. The sound of the papers fluttering to the ground made Ezra grab Joshua’s hand. He guided it to his cock, which was already throbbing in his waistband.
He fumbled with it through the fabric for a couple of seconds before ripping himself away.
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” Joshua gritted his jaw, “I’m done with being your toy.”
“You’re not my toy,” there was an obvious desperation in Ezra’s voice.
“Are you lying to me, or yourself?” Joshua pushed his long hair out of his face as he looked beyond Ezra and out onto London.
“I’m not lying,” he said, “about anything.”
Joshua’s eyes darted to his, focussing sternly on Ezra. Ezra thought and hoped he was going to give in and pounce on him. He wanted nothing more. He wanted to feel that escape he felt every time his skin touched Joshua’s.
“We’ll see,” Joshua turned and headed for the door, “the truth always comes out.”
He left Ezra alone in the boardroom. He bent down and picked up the papers Joshua had left. His writing and drawings had ruined the designs the team had spent weeks creating. Clenching them in his fist, he tore them in two before tossing them back on the ground.
Through the red haze, he found his desk phone in his office and punched in the digits for his lawyer.
“It’s Ezra. It’s happening. I think he’s found the loophole.”
Joshua welcomed Tobias into Violet’s home and they all crammed themselves into the living room. Levi didn’t get the hint that he wasn’t wanted around and neither did Violet. Levi used the excuse that if Violet was there, he wanted to be there, which meant he was stuck with them both as Tobias perched on the edge of Violet’s sofa, briefcase on his knees.