There was no time to process her humiliation, only time to get dressed and deal with the next problem. It was the perfect state of mind to contemplate her evening with Phil.
He arrived promptly at five, and Becky answered the door with appropriate disdain. She had worked hard at detaining John until Phil’s arrival, so she was ready for some fireworks when she led Phil out to the porch.
Burt began to growl, and John looked up, his face impassive as he considered the man who had broken Maddy’s heart. Phil looked like he’d stepped out of a magazine, appropriately cloaked in labels and cologne.
John took a hold of Burt’s collar. “It’s okay,” he said, walking the dog over to his pen and shutting him in. “Good dog,” he said quietly, walking back up the steps.
“How’s it goin’? John, right?” Phil asked, looking up briefly at John and then smiling at Becky.
“Fine, you?”
“Couldn’t be better.” Phil turned his full attention on Becky. “How’ve you been, Becky? It’s been a long time.”
“Fine. I’ll go get Maddy.”
Phil shrugged and looked out over the water while Becky went back into the house.
“Maddy sure found a nice piece of property out here.”
“Yes, she did.”
“How long do you figure before she opens shop?”
“There’s still a lot to do. It’ll be a while.”
“Spoken like a true contractor.”
“Well, Phil, I don’t really know you, and it’s not my place to discuss Maddy’s business affairs with you.”
Phil eyed John speculatively. “I’m sure she’ll fill me in on everything tonight.”
John picked up his papers and walked to the door, fighting the urge to spar with Phil. He reached for the handle just as Maddy was emerging.
Becky followed her sister onto the porch, and was very happy to sense a moment of palpable electricity between Maddy and her contractor. She just hoped that Phil sensed it, too.
John looked at Maddy in her jeans and blouse. He could still smell the bath oil she must have used, and it took an effort to greet her with equanimity.
“Have a nice evening, Maddy.”
Maddy looked up at him, her face flushed. “You, too. Thanks for everything. The roof looks great.”
He hesitated briefly. “You’re welcome.”
“Tell the boys I said hi.”
“I will,” he answered, finally moving past her.
“Oh my, it’s warm out here, isn’t it?” Becky fanned herself dramatically.
Maddy greeted Phil with admirable calm.
“Maddy, you look great.”
Phil took a step toward her and she stiffened, putting her hand out between them. He looked down at her hand with a grin, and then shook it, keeping a hold of it as he led her off the porch toward the beach.
“Don’t wait up!” he called out to Becky.
Phil surprised her with a dinner boat cruise.
Maddy, dismayed, faced her fear, figuring she’d have to deal with it sooner or later. The boat was large and festive, and once they were in the dining room, she could almost ignore the fact that they were on the water. This would be more difficult when they moved away from the dock, but she figured she’d deal with one crisis at a time.
Phil ordered drinks for them. “You really look good, Maddy. Life on the East Coast suits you.”
“Thanks. It usually does.” Maddy felt the boat begin to move.
Phil started talking about the old days, and how they’d started their business together. They got lost in the memories for a while, and even had a few laughs. When their dinner came out, Maddy decided to get to the point.
“It’s been surprisingly nice catching up with you, Phil, but at some point we’re going to have to deal with what happened between us.”
Phil took a long drink from his second vodka and tonic. “I figured that would come up.”
“Figured it would come up? Phil, we were engaged, and you left with another woman to start a business in another state. Did you not think I would remember that?”
“Well, it seemed like my only option.”
“Excuse me?”
“You said you needed some space, so…”
“When did I say that?”
Phil’s eyes narrowed. “In your rather colorful e-mail.”
“My what?”
“You said you were having second thoughts, and you needed some time, space, whatever.” Phil shifted in his chair as the uncomfortable truth began to dawn on him. “You didn’t send me an e-mail, did you?”
Maddy looked at him, completely at a loss.
“Then what about the picture?” he asked.
“The picture from my desk?”
“Yeah, why did you return it?”
“The picture disappeared, Phil. I didn’t give it back to you. And I would never handle our relationship through an e-mail. How could you think I would?”
“It had your tone,” Phil protested. “Everything about it rang true.”
Maddy’s world had turned upside down, again. She was tired of trying to find her footing.
“Did it occur to you to ask me about it?”
“I was too angry. I couldn’t believe it!” Phil’s tone became heated with the recollection. “I mean, I knew we weren’t perfect, but I thought we had a lot going for us.”
“Then why didn’t you talk to me?”
“I told you, I was angry, hurt,” he added for good measure. “You know things had been a little strained between us and we hardly had any time together.”
“That’s the nature of the business. We both understood that.”
“Well, you had been acting a little removed. I remember being angry, but not completely surprised by your e-mail.”
Maddy looked at him thoughtfully. “It wasn’t my e-mail, remember?”
“Right. Well, who would do that?”
“Think about it.”
He ordered another drink while Maddy continued to put the pieces together. She almost preferred the version of the story in which he left without explanation. In the end, it didn’t matter.
“So basically,” she concluded, “you got your feelings hurt and replaced me with Kathy, who, incidentally, had access to my password…”
Phil looked out the window, processing this information.
Maddy stood up. “You chose not to fight for us, Phil.”
“Where are you going? You can’t leave.”
“Yeah, I know that.” The boat lurched and Maddy grabbed the table. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m going to get some fresh air.”
Phil started to get up from the table.
“Alone.”
Maddy made her way out to the deck and looked out over the ocean, trying to hold the panic at bay. Why was it so different from the view from her porch? The boat lurched slightly, and Maddy acknowledged the difference with her entire, miserable body. She looked down and then over at the person standing a few yards away at the railing.
“Pastor Rob?”
“Ms. Jacobs? How are you?”
“Please, call me Maddy,” she winced. “And not so good, I’m afraid.”
“Me neither.” He grimaced and walked slowly over to join her.
“I’m sorry. Are you here with Rachel?”
“Yes,” Rob smiled a little. “And you’re here with?”
A pained expression crossed Maddy’s face, and Rob looked a little sicker. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”
“Oh, no, it’s not that… I have an old boyfriend visiting.”
“I see.”
There was an uncomfortable silence, and then Maddy asked, “Where’s Little John tonight?”
“Under the table.”
“I’m sorry, where?”
Rob managed a grin. “He’s sleeping in his car seat, and it’s out of the way under the table.”
“Oh,
I guess that makes sense.”
He turned to look out over the water and then closed his eyes. “This was supposed to be our first big night out together since Little John was born, and I’m afraid I’m not very good company.”
“I’m sure Rachel understands.”
“Yep. She’s a keeper.”
Maddy smiled at the endearment. “I guess I should get back to my… friend.”
“Where’s John tonight?” Rob regained a little of his energy and nerve.
I can tell you where he was a couple of hours ago. Maddy decided not to share this information with her pastor.
“Probably home with the boys,” she answered. “Blake’s getting over a cold.”
“How does he feel about your friend’s visit?”
Maddy looked over at Rob with a small smile. “And you’re asking because…”
“I’m just nosy,” he managed another grin.
“Well, I don’t think either one of us is okay with it. It hasn’t been a good week for us,” she admitted. Looking out over the water began to have the same calming effect that it did when she was at home.
“I imagine that makes it hard working in your house together,” he observed.
“Yeah, it’s been a little awkward,” Maddy agreed. “Luckily, they’ve been on the roof most of the week, so we’ve stayed out of each other’s way.”
“Where is your friend from?”
“Seattle,” she replied. “We were engaged, but he broke it off. That was a year and a half ago. I decided to make a fresh start across the country, and he managed to find me.”
“And what does he want now?”
“Good question. I’m still trying to figure that out.”
“And you?”
“I just want to be done with the whole thing. I pretty much thought I’d gotten over it, then he shows up. Just when I thought I’d made my peace with it.” She shook her head.
“You can’t make peace, Maddy.”
“You got that right.”
Rob smiled. “God can give it to you, but it will involve forgiveness.”
Maddy rolled her eyes with a smile. “You and your extreme methods.” She sighed. “It’s not like I feel that same pain anymore. It’s just so confusing.”
“We don’t always have the luxury of waiting until the pain goes away to forgive someone. We sometimes have to forgive so that the pain starts to go away.”
Maddy looked at a boat in the distance, trying to discern how many sails it had. “And if they don’t ask for it?”
“I think forgiveness is much more about the healing God wants to give you,” he answered, “whether the person who hurt you ever asks for forgiveness or not.” Rob seemed to have forgotten his queasiness as he talked about what was clearly one of his favorite subjects. “Forgiving others frees us up to receive God’s grace, to really be open to it in a way that we aren’t when we’re holding on to a lot of bitterness and unforgiveness.”
“I held on to my anger for a long time,” Maddy conceded. “It started to fade a little when I moved out here.”
“And started coming to my church,” Rob added smugly.
Maddy smiled. “I think you’re all ganging up on me. Between you and John and Otis, and well, God, I haven’t had a moment’s peace about the whole business. The four of you are conspiring against me,” she decided.
Rob nodded. “We’ve been planning this for months.”
Maddy returned to the table, feeling slightly refreshed.
“Took you long enough. Did you go for a swim?” Phil had finished his third drink, and was signaling the waiter for a fourth.
Maddy sat down. “I ran into someone I know.”
“I’ve been thinking.”
Maddy folded her hands on the table. “And?”
“Seems like we didn’t have a fair shot at our relationship. We were engaged, Maddy.”
She sipped her wine. “I remember.”
“And you were a great business partner.”
“Thank you.”
“Well, do you think we can try again?”
“The business or the relationship?”
Phil smiled. “You have to admit, we were a good team.”
Maddy sat back, immune now to the smile that once charmed her. “What happened with Kathy?”
“She got another job in San Diego. Our business venture didn’t work out, and neither did we; not that I was ever really serious about her.”
That’s supposed to make me feel better? “What are your plans?”
“I’m going back to Seattle. I’ve already got some consulting jobs lined up. Come back to Seattle with me, Maddy.”
“You’re not serious.”
“I am. You could make a fortune on that house once it’s fixed up.”
“I like my house.”
A new thought occurred to him. “Are you seeing someone?”
Maddy paused. “I was. I’m not sure where we stand right now.”
“Is it your contractor?”
“Why do you ask?”
“He just looked ready to flatten me, or at least try,” Phil amended, “when I came over this afternoon.” He took a long drink. “I was stupid enough to feel smug about being the one to take you out.”
Maddy didn’t think sympathy was in order, but she knew what was. “I’m not sure what happened to us, Phil, but whatever was be-tween us is long over. We just need to forgive each other and move on.” The words felt awkward, but it was, somehow, okay.
He looked at her and drained his drink. “That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
He shook his head. “I thought you’d be more open-minded.”
“I’m open-minded, but I’m not stupid.” Maddy looked out of the window and noticed that they were approaching the pier. “Why don’t you give me your keys and I’ll drive you back to your hotel?”
He stood a bit unsteadily and managed a smirk. “Will you stay with me? For old times’ sake?”
Maddy laid her napkin on the table. “Didn’t then. Won’t now.”
Phil gave her a devilish grin, and Maddy took his keys.
twenty-five
Saturday was a workday for Maddy, which suited her just fine. She was emotionally exhausted, although a sense of peace hovered in the background, waiting to be explored. She decided to work on the cupboards while she let the events of the last week settle in her tired brain.
The process to strip the wood sounded terribly long and involved. She knelt down and looked at the compounds John brought in the day before, trying to remember the order in which to use them. A closer look revealed notes attached to the containers, with a reminder to be careful not to get any of the chemicals on her skin.
She smiled and looked at the first compound, a stripper of some kind, which was to be applied with a brush, and then scraped off with a putty knife. Maddy wrinkled her nose. Sounds nasty. John told her that this step might need to be repeated, and promised to work with her to let her know when it was time to move on to the next one.
She picked up solution number two, a liquid sander. It was to be applied with a brush and removed with a rag, the note explained. The third compound gave the wood a final wash and neutralized the other chemicals in preparation for priming. Maddy put that bottle down and sat on the floor. What had she gotten herself into?
Now that she’d removed the cabinet doors, she was pretty well committed to the task, and she wondered if it was really worth it to change the color of her kitchen. She sighed. There was no going back now. Getting up and opening the windows for ventilation, she found a good oldies station on the radio and got to work.
Becky got up relatively early, as she planned to be on the road before noon. She stopped in the fireplace room, complained about the smell, and insisted that Maddy come out to the porch to debrief before she left.
A light rain began to fall, and the women enjoyed the sight and sound of it as they sat together with their coffee. It seemed to wash th
e air of the chemical smells; a welcome cleansing.
“So?” Becky wasted no time. “What happened?”
“Well,” Maddy began, “Phil explained why he left so suddenly, but I’m not really sure that it all holds up.”
She recounted his story, mentioned her talk with Pastor Rob, and finished with fact that she’d dropped Phil off and still needed to return his car.
Becky sat quietly for a record amount of time. “I will concede that it’s possible that Phil might not be as awful as I had originally believed.”
“Or as smart,” Maddy mused.
Becky smiled.
“It struck me, though,” Maddy continued. “Whichever version is true, Phil wasn’t willing to work at our relationship, and that’s the bottom line. Our marriage would never have lasted.”
“Not many people are willing to work at relationships these days,” Becky observed. “It’s easier just to move on to the next one.”
“John said the sweetest thing, yesterday. He said he was ready to fight for me; for us.”
Becky almost got tears in her eyes. “He said that? When? When did you talk to him?”
Maddy’s mug froze midway to her mouth. “Yesterday.”
“You said that.” Becky looked hard at her sister. “Maddy?”
John reread the note with a heavy heart. He’d arrived a half hour later than the others Monday morning, and they were admittedly curious about its contents.
“What’s up?” Frank asked.
“Maddy’s gone up to Searsport for a couple of days.”
Frank sipped his coffee and frowned. “Travis, you’re not making the coffee anymore!” he called out to the porch.
“Not my fault. We need Maddy!”
“I assume everyone else is gone?” Frank asked John.
“She doesn’t say,” John replied. “I guess they must have left.”
“When is she coming back?”
“Don’t know. She just said she’s doing more research at that B&B she visited earlier in the summer.”
“I see.” Frank wished he could say something to comfort his friend. “Well, let’s get going on these cabinets. Maybe we can get them done before she gets back.”
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