by Emily Bowie
A smile tugs at her lips and then disappears. My eyes fly from her beautiful face to her nipple as the needle begins to pierce it. I feel like I’m going to be sick. My body sways as I become lightheaded, my vision going spotty before I enter a deep fog.
I’m confused at what happened when I come to and Haven’s angelic face is hovering over mine. Her dress is back in place, and all I can think is thank fuck she didn’t go through with it.
“Are you okay?” she asks, and I hear the guy cough into his hand, calling me a pussy.
Ignoring him, I tell her what she’s already thinking. “I know what you’re going to say. This was a bad idea.”
She tilts her head at me before the worry on her face disappears.
“I guess you’ll never know,” she taunts me.
I can’t help myself and look at her rack. There is no evidence telling if she went through with it at all.
“Did you get it done?” I ask, standing up and getting my bearings.
She smirks at me and winks. “I’ll never tell.”
“You’re coming OVER for dinner tonight. My mama insists.” Haven’s sweet voice brings me out of my memory. Her brow cocks, having caught me checking out her tits.
“Ever wonder what it would feel like to have a full handful there?” I toss out, turning before she can notice the hard-on I’m trying to cover up.
“Six o’clock,” she says to my retreating back, seeing right through me, I’m sure.
Five
Danger
“Beach party tonight?” Crash asks me. We’re sitting on a bench at our town’s marina. Most of the boats are small, nothing like the other towns where you can practically see the money falling off the lavish toys.
Two girls step off a boat, slipping their wetsuits down to their waist and exposing the bathing suits underneath.
“Didn’t think you had time for us anymore,” I respond. Crash is my best friend, but we hardly see each other. He’s too busy building his small empire in Oakport Beach, and I’m gone half the year with the rodeo circuit.
“I’ve got time tonight.”
I pause, my eyes still on those girls. I can’t help but compare them to Haven. Their bathing suit tops scream that they want attention, the way their eyes flirt toward us show that they only want a good time and don’t care who that good time is with. I like that Haven is modest. It builds upon her beauty and personality.
“Can’t tonight.” I shrug, bringing my attention back to my best friend.
“Why?”
Looking out into the water I see a large sailboat in the water. We don’t normally see those in these parts. The last person to own that size of a sailboat here crushed my sister’s heart. This town wouldn’t think twice about running him out once again.
“Just can’t.” I shrug, bushing it off.
“Does this have something to do with Haven?”
I scoff, wishing he would drop the conversation. “She tricked me into having dinner with her parents,” I complain.
He starts laughing, visibly shaking with tears in his eyes. “Doesn’t her father hate you?”
“It was her way of getting back at me. You know how she loves to get under my skin.”
“You mean the same way you do to her?”
“It means absolutely nothing. I grew up with her. She was at my house more than Frankie was and she lived there.”
“I wonder why that was…” He trails off, sounding like he’s implying something.
“Don’t be gross. She’s like a sister to me,” I lie, afraid to admit the truth out loud.
“Is that why you’ve hated every boyfriend she’s ever had?”
“What can I say? They’ve never been good enough for her.” Just like me. But at least I’m honest in knowing that.
“Maybe if you showed her dad that the rodeo isn’t such a bad place, he would hate you less,” Crash offers, standing up and stretching. His eyes stay on the sailboat just like mine do.
“Naw, he’s just a hater.” I stand up next to Crash. “What about next week?”
“We’ll see. My mare should be going into labor in the next week or so.”
“Well, DON’T YOU clean up nice.” Haven’s mother pulls me into a hug when she opens her front door to the two of us.
“Don’t be filling this big head with more hot air, Mama,” Haven scolds, but her smile stays on her face as she waits for her hug.
She releases me, and I give Haven a wink before I walk in like this is my home. “Danger, nice to see you at church last week,” her father says to me. His face is contorted in a ridged scowl like he’s in pain from directing nice words toward me.
“Is that steak I smell cookin’?”
Haven hits me in the gut, making me lose the lungful of air I had. She knows I’m well aware her parents are vegetarians. Her dad eyes me for a second before going back outside to their back deck, not giving my question any of his time.
“Mushroom burgers,” her mama says, coming up from behind us, not missing a beat.
“Did my ma tell you those are my favorite? I hope you put extra on for me,” I tell her sweetly, watching her beam at my approval. Haven’s mother could put anything in front of me and I would eat it. But I don’t see how a mushroom burger will be able to keep me full for long.
Haven’s throwing daggers at me with her eyes, and I’m not sure if I should stay in here or go outside with her dad. They’re both equal in their challenge.
“What can I do to help, Mrs. Rose?” I divert my attention back to her mother. At least she likes me.
“Why don’t you help Adam with the BBQ?”
Now that idea has Haven smiling from ear to ear. I nod, taking it in stride as I step outside and let the girls do the inside stuff.
“Pastor Rose.”
“Hi, Danger. I see you have my daughter living in sin for the second time in her life,” he grunts out while flipping the so-called patty.
I scratch at my head. “It’s not really like that, sir.”
“I’m not blind.” He points at me with his finger. “I see how you look at her.”
“Honestly, Haven is like a sister to me. I just want what’s best for her.”
His eyes narrow into slits as he stares at me. I can feel the heat from hell he’s trying to rain down on me, and my collar feels like it’s suddenly choking me. “I am a man of God, Danger.”
I can feel the speech coming, and I have no escape. I bet Haven’s listening to us and is enjoying the way I squirm.
“When I met Haven’s mother, I knew instantly she was the one. We married within a month. There were no games, no pissing around.”
When he pauses, I add in my comment, not needing to hear him get all holy on me. “You telling me to marry your daughter, Pastor?”
He scoffs. “The church doesn’t believe in marrying your sister, or anyone who feels like one.”
My heart pounds as he lays into me. He’s looking at me like he can see right through me. “For what’s it worth, I will protect Haven no matter what. I may not be able to keep the ‘thou shalt not kill’ commandment if that scumbag shows his face in town ever again, but I will never hurt her in any way. When I make promises, I don’t break them. You may not believe me, but I am honorable.”
As much as I tell myself that I don’t care if he likes me, I’m faced with times when I do care. When someone calls in my honor or intentions, I never lead people on. I’m an open book; you get what you see. I won't lie, never needed to. In fact, I’m insulted that he would think anything else. He’s known me since I was eight years old, when they moved here.
His face is less of a scowl, his lines not as deep, as he listens to my defense. He nods, turning back to the BBQ. I wait to see if he’s going to finish the speech he started, but he doesn’t.
“Thank you for your honesty, Danger,” he finally says, breaking the heavy air that clings around us. “I’ve seen you around town with a few different girls in the last month. I just wanted to make sure we
were both on the same page. You’re a good man. Your parents brought you up right. Not how I would live, but I can respect our differences when our main goal is the same. We both want Haven happy.”
He hands me a plate with the mushroom circles. I bring them up to my nose for a quick smell. I’ve smelled worse; hopefully, it isn’t that bad. With enough toppings, I’m sure I can make anything taste decent.
As we walk in, the women have set the table, and I notice Mrs. Rose has a bottle of sparkling peach juice out. It warms my heart. They don’t drink, but she has done this for me each time I’ve eaten over since I was twenty-one. It’s endearing.
“Can you open that up for us, dear?”
I pick it up to comply with Haven’s mom’s request, then walk away from the kitchen, not wanting to accidentally hit anyone when the cork flies out like a real champagne bottle. Their mantel is lined with pictures of the three of them. One big, happy family.
I grew up with a fantastic family, but when my dad had his bull riding accident, the brightness in our family diminished. Dad was thrown off a bull, and the rodeo clown couldn’t distract the animal in time. He was trampled, leaving him in a wheelchair for about a year. To this day, he still needs a cane to walk and prefers to use a wheelchair if he’s going to be out for a long time. My parents never smiled as brightly after that day.
Quickly, I open the cork, and it flies into the ceiling before falling and knocking a picture down. It’s a picture of Haven’s parents on their wedding day. She’s tenderly touching her flat stomach. It makes me wonder if the old pastor isn’t as squeaky clean as he pretends. My parents married because my ma got pregnant with me. I just didn’t think Haven’s parents would be the same.
Putting the old photo back up, I place it front and center before heading back into the kitchen.
Haven
There was no mistaking the heated tone between Danger and my father. I wish they would get along or have some common ground, but the two men are as opposite as heaven and hell. But as we take a seat for dinner, the hostile air between them is a little less.
“When do you go back out for the rodeo?” Mama asks Danger, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. At least she has always liked him, even with his rodeo job and carnivorous ways.
“My parents need more help around the house this year, so I’ve been doing a lot of local events. But with the summer coming, I normally have to travel farther and leave town more frequently. I’m not sure what I’ll do about my parents’ place if I have to go for too long. I guess it’s a good thing I have Haven looking after my house while I’m gone.”
His last sentence shouldn’t bother me the way it does. Every year, he leaves town for longer periods at a time, but this time it feels like a rock sitting in my gut.
“Danger has ranked first and second in his last two events,” I add in.
“I think I saw that in the paper.” My dad nods for a second like he’s trying to remember correctly. “I believe you had a different girl by your side in each photo.”
It’s hard to forget that Danger is known for his flirtation with the ladies. Everywhere I go, it feels like Danger’s playboy ways are being thrown in my face. I take a bite out of my mediocre mushroom burger. There is nothing special about its taste. I sometimes feel like that too. I don’t wear a ton of makeup for the guys to notice me. I don’t wear skimpy clothing. I don’t like being the center of attention. Nothing about me stands out that would make people pause to give me a second look. I’m fine with that, but sometimes I wish I could grasp onto that feeling just for a second, so I’d know how it felt.
Danger clears his throat and shoves his mouth full of food. I’m sure he’s trying not to come back with some offhanded remark due to the respect he has for my mother.
“I think that’s mighty admirable, to give up what you love to help your family. Great family values.” I think my jaw drops, hearing my dad complimenting Danger. I honestly didn’t think this day would ever come. “Too bad you still feel the need to rope poor, innocent calves for fun.”
I should have known better. One compliment paid for by a cheeky comment afterward.
“For a moment, I thought you were going soft on me, Pastor.” Danger grins, and that thick air seems to vanish immediately. “If you ever want to come out and see what I really do for fun, it would be my pleasure. Then you would see I treat all my animals with great care.”
“Sunday school is coming to a close, and I’ve been trying to think of something fun to do for the kids this year,” I interject, moving the conversation along. Each year, I try to do something special to signal the break of Sunday school for the summer. A few of my students have mentioned they thought this was their last year with me. I keep telling them they can be twenty and still come; I don’t mind. Not that anyone has ever taken me up on this.
“I could set up a hog tying event,” Danger teases me, making my dad grumble under his breath. Danger is doing this on purpose, knowing my father will no doubt have a conversation about what type of friends I keep.
“You plan on being the hog?” I tease him.
He wiggles his eyebrows, making me roll my eyes.
Keeping the conversation away from any animals, I continue, “Think we can put on some type of special breakfast?” I ask my parents.
The rest of the night carries on as predictably as possible. My dad and Danger keep throwing offhanded comments at each other, while Mama and I try to direct the conversations to easier topics.
Six
Danger
“What on earth are you doing?” Crash’s voice catches me off guard.
It takes me a second to respond, not expecting anyone to be outside the church doors. “I’m surprising Haven with a petting zoo,” I say matter-of-factly. It looks pretty obvious to me. I stand admiring my handiwork before looking back at my cousin.
Like me, he rarely ever goes to church, always using the excuse he doesn’t have time with running his multiple businesses.
“Funny, you’ve never done this before now,” he comments, taking a look at the pen I have set up. “Where are the animals?” He looks around, not seeing any, and then rubs at his chin. “Does the preacher know you’re doing this?”
“Ma is bringing the animals down in her trailer to help me out.” I ignore his jab.
He starts laughing. “You’re going to get so much shit for this.”
I shrug, not giving a damn, and continue with my work. I don’t care what anyone thinks. Haven said she needed something special, and some fancy breakfast isn’t special.
“Just being involved in the community. Maybe one of these kids will be interested in the rodeo after. It’s as simple as that.”
“Whatever you have to tell yourself.” He walks away whistling, heading to who knows where. But I have no time to wonder, as I see my ma pull up with the calves.
My palms are sweaty as I wait for the church doors to open again. I’m nervous to see how Haven will react and excited to see the faces of all the kids when they realize this is a petting zoo. I fidget around the pen door, unsure if I should be standing here or if I should stand in front of it all. Maybe I should have a stool and be sitting. I’ve walked to every spot around the small circle I created, checking on the calves three times. There is nothing for me to do but wait. I wipe my hands down my jeans, wishing it wasn’t so hot out.
The door opens, and I twist the water bottle cap off, taking a drink and trying to look casual. Slowly, the town begins to descend the steps, volunteers carrying jugs of drinks to be set out on tables in the shade, and I see trays of what look like muffins and small cut sandwiches being placed out as well.
It takes a while before any of the kids come out of the building, and by then, the adults have blocked my view from the doors. I get a few nods, hellos, and “this looks fun” responses, but other than that, I’m left to myself.
My hand taps on the pen, the calves looking comfortable in their temporary location. Haven is nowhere in sight, but I can see her
parents. Her dad has eyed me a few times but has kept in conversation with his members.
“Danger, what do we have here?” One of the summer ladies glides up to me. She has no personal boundaries as she steps right into me, her breast practically being pushed into my chest. Clearing my throat, I take a step back, looking at the main doors. No one has come in or out for the last two minutes.
“Thought I would set up a bit of a petting zoo for the kids, Mrs. Mayberry.”
“It’s Ms. now, Danger.” She smiles seductively at me. She married for money and has been coming here each summer with her friends. I’ve heard her tell her friends what charm this town has but how she could never live here.
“How about you come over tonight?” she asks me, biting down on her bottom lip. It doesn’t even look natural as she gives me her fuck-me eyes. For an older lady, she’s in shape and probably is as flexible as she’s flirtatious, but I’ve never been into cougars.
“Sorry, ma’am. I’m unavailable,” I respond.
“Can we go inside?”
I turn to see a group of three kids. About time some of them made it over here.
“You betcha.” I open the door, allowing them to go inside. These calves are super gentle, always in the mood for some loving. I also have one baby sheep in there.
When I look back up, Ms. Mayberry is still staring me down, looking determined.
“Danger?” another voice questions. Looking a few feet past the unwanted company, I see Haven smiling at me. She looks from me to Ms. Mayberry a few times, her eyes curious, but she doesn’t say anything on the topic.
“I was just telling Ms. Mayberry how I was taking you out tonight,” I inform her.
“Is that so?” she responds, her manicured eyebrow rising in question. It’s not the first time either of us has used each other to get out of this type of situation before.