“That’s exactly the problem. I don’t know who I am to you.” His voice rose and he raked stiff fingers through his short hair. “But if you expect me to sit here like a good lap dog while you go off on some weekend with one of your other friends,” he snarled the word between gritted teeth, “and then welcome you back into my bed, you can’t forget it.”
“What?” It took a few moments for his words to make sense to her, but when it all finally clicked into place she was horrified. “You think I’m going away to have sex with some other man? Seriously, that’s what this is about?” They were practically living together they were apart so rarely. It had never occurred to her he’d think she would do something so disrespectful. “Why on earth would you think that?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Amber,” he snapped, throwing his hands in the air. “Maybe because you won’t tell me who you’re leaving town with for two days. All you’ll say is you’re going with friends. Maybe it’s because that’s the same fucking word you won’t stop using on me!”
She stood before him, arms still crossed, her heart pounding against her rib cage, and she knew he was right. Whenever she introduced him to someone, or referred to him, she still called him her friend. After all they’d shared, all they’d been to each other, it rang false, even to her own ears. She pushed away from the door and walked over to stand in front of him. He didn’t move away but he crossed his arms over his own chest, as if to stop himself from reaching for her.
“Do you remember Kelly and Simon? They were at the dinner party that Scott, Derek and Julia threw for you.” She waited for his curt nod before she continued. “They broke up this week. Julia, Trina and I are going to take Kelly away for the weekend so she can blow off some steam. That’s all this is.” She kept her eyes averted as she added, “And for the record, I haven’t even contemplated having sex with anyone but you from the day we met. I wouldn’t do that. Not while we’re together.” It hurt, knowing he believed it was a possibility, and yet she could hardly blame him. She’d done nothing to assure him otherwise.
He swore as he turned away, rubbing one hand on the back of his neck as he walked to the other side of the living room. She could see him taking deep breaths, centring himself, bringing his emotions back under control in that annoying way he had. She could only wish to have that level of control. Instead her stomach was in knots and she didn’t know what the hell she felt. By the time he turned back to her, all the anger seemed to have drained out of his body. “Why couldn’t you have told me that in the first place?” His words had dropped to a quiet murmur now, as if he no longer had the energy for more. “Why put us through this bullshit?”
“I don’t have to explain myself and I don’t have to ask permission.” She still felt the need to say the words, but after the totally off-centre conclusion he’d drawn they sounded oddly misplaced. “The truth is, it never occurred to me you would think I would… ” That she would cheat on him. Except cheating implied they had a real relationship in the first place and she’d never admitted to them having that—not out loud. What a joke.
Closing in on her, he reached up to stroke her cheek with the back of one hand. It was the first time they’d touched since he’d stormed through the door and she couldn’t stop herself from leaning into it. “Amber, if you were the sort of woman who looked to me for permission to do what you wanted, I wouldn’t be here. I want your loyalty, not your obedience. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”
She opened her mouth to speak but she didn’t know what to say. Never once had he expected her to defer to him about anything, though she kept waiting for him to do just that. But the idea her doing so would make her less interesting to him was a concept she had trouble wrapping her mind around. Her father had always seemed to grow taller when her mother looked to him for answers. He’d seemed to feel he was more of a man that way. Lincoln was the opposite. He stood tall on his own, without casting that long shadow over her.
“I’ve been assuming you haven’t slept with anyone else, either,” she said. They’d never talked about being exclusive and now it occurred to her maybe the reason he was so ready to leap to the conclusion she would sleep with someone else was because he had. “Have you been with anyone else?”
“No, of course not.” He cracked a smile, but it held not the faintest hint of amusement. “All I see is you.”
“So, we’re good. Right?” she asked, hoping to get back onto an even keel before she went away. She wanted to be able to enjoy herself and knew that would be difficult if they parted on bad terms. “This was a simple misunderstanding.”
“No.” The murmured word slipped between his lips at the same time the hand that had been stroking her cheek so gently slid up into her hair. He wrapped his fingers around the long length of it and tugged until her head fell back, baring her throat to his lips and teeth. “I’m done pussyfooting around your boundaries.” His low growl reverberated against her skin before he pulled back to stare into her eyes. “You are mine, Amber, and I want to hear you say it.”
Chapter 21
Amber’s body began to tremble in Lincoln’s tight grip. His hold on her hair kept her from moving, while his other arm wrapped around her waist, effectively trapping the lower half of her body against his. The anger that had surged through her body a few minutes ago was gone now, but the adrenaline still coursed through her veins, making her aware of everywhere they touched.
“I don’t respond well to demands,” she said, glaring at him.
His lips curled and he smirked at her. “We’ll see about that.”
Taking hold of her wrist, he started up the stairs pulling her along behind him.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She tried to free herself from his grip but he held tight, refusing to stop until they’d reached her bedroom. Once there, he turned and drew her in close. His free hand took hold of her chin to force her to look at him. Their faces were mere centimetres apart, their heavy breathing mingled between them. There was a glimmer in his eyes she’d never seen before, an edge in the way he held her. Something about him felt dangerous and her body responded, though not with fear. It was more like curiosity. She knew she’d pushed him too far. A perverse part of her wanted to keep pushing—just to see what would happen.
“You keep waiting for me to try to control you, Amber,” he said in that husky growl. “And I keep disappointing you, don’t I?”
Her brow wrinkled as she tried to follow him around that bend. “What are you talking about?”
“I think you want me to make demands on you, so you can defy them. It’s almost like you crave it.”
“No.” She yanked her chin free of his hold. “That’s ridiculous.”
“But how else would you prove to yourself that you’re free?” His hand trailed down her arm to take hold of her second wrist. Now he’d secured both of them, he folded her arms up behind her back which caused her breasts to press hard against his chest. Her nipples drew tight at the contact. “You want me to push so you can push back.”
His words rang true, but no way in hell would she admit it. She turned her face away from him, not wanting to meet the realisation in his eyes. The act only served to bare her throat to his mouth. His kisses were slow, gentle, in contrast to the forceful way he held her and she began to tremble with excitement.
“Here’s the dirty little secret you hide from yourself.” His breath was hot against her ear now, deep and ragged. “You want me to take your precious control away from you. You want to give in.”
“No.” She pulled her wrists free of his hold and shoved hard against his chest, stumbling when he didn’t resist her escape. “You are crazy if you think I’m going to stand here and let you order me around.”
“Then tell me to leave.”
She stared at him, the fire sparking in his eyes, the way he waited for her response, like an animal ready to pounce. Her mouth went dry and she licked her lips before she spoke. “Maybe it is time for you to go.”
&nbs
p; He laughed at her words, a deep husky sound that made her shiver with a reckless anticipation she didn’t want to feel. “Maybe it’s time? So half-hearted, princess,” he purred. “I think maybe I’ll stay.” He left her standing there at the end of the bed as he opened her closet doors and poked around inside. When he reappeared he pulled two of her scarves off a hook high on the inside of one door. They were sheer, filmy things, made for decoration more than warmth. One in scarlet red and the other a pale pink with little white polka dots. What the hell was he planning to do—tie her up?
She should tell him to get out. She should make a run for the door. She should do anything other than stand here quivering with lust and waiting for him to dictate to her what would happen next. What the fuck was wrong with her?
“I get it, why you want to be in control all the time. It has to be exhausting though, never being able to relax and let go, let someone else hold the reins once in a while.” He strolled back towards her, wrapping the ends of the scarves around his hands and pulling them taut. “Personally, I think you’re afraid if you do let go, you might like it too much. You think you might never come back from that place.”
“Stop telling me what I think,” she snapped, her gaze riveted to the scarves in his hands. She’d never considered letting anyone tie her up before and she wasn’t sure which sensation she felt more keenly, the butterflies batting at her insides or the dull throb that had started up between her thighs.
“Oh, I’m going to tell you everything tonight.” He circled her like a predator, drew her hair to one side so her could bite the back of her neck with blunt teeth. Not hard enough to hurt, but he certainly had her attention. “What to do, what to say, when to come. You are mine tonight.”
He stood before her once more, oh so close, but not touching her now. “This is going to happen, Amber. Unless you tell me to stop, right now.” His breathing was quick and shallow. The intensity in his eyes burned like green fire. He wanted this, was damned near feral for it. “This is your chance,” he rasped. “Tell me to stop.”
She saw the stark hunger in him, and felt her own need rise to meet it. What would it be like to say yes, to put herself in his hands and trust him to take care of her—just for a little while? “Stay.”
The sound he made as he reached for her was half-growl, half-surrender. His mouth took hers, harsh and demanding. His hands tangled in her hair. She started to undo the buttons on her shirt but he reached down to push her hands away. Gripping the material he pulled, ripping her shirt open. She could hear the pinging of tiny buttons raining on the wooden floor as he stared at her heaving breasts. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Then he reached for her again.
The rest of her clothing succumbed to his deft hands and before long she stood before him, naked but for the black high heels still on her feet. She reached for his shirt, intent on ridding him of his clothes as well, but he took hold of her wrists, pulling them away. He’d tucked the scarves into his back pocket but now he tugged one of them free and wound the length of it around her wrists, binding them together. She was surprised. She’d expected him to use them both to tie her to the bed. “What are you going to do with the other one?” she asked.
He gave a sexy laugh. “So eager.”
She made a derisive sound. “I just want to know what I’m in for here.”
He finished tying the ends of the scarf around her wrists. The binding was firm. It wouldn’t cut off her circulation, but she would have trouble breaking free of it, not that she planned to try.
“Close your eyes,” he said as he stepped around to the back of her.
A tendril of apprehension coursed through her, but she did as he said. She felt the material of the second scarf press against her closed eyelids as he wrapped it around her head and tied a knot in the back. For a long moment there was no sound and she wondered what he was doing. The heat of his body was gone from her back but she couldn’t hear him moving around. Perhaps he was simply standing there, watching her, surveying his handiwork.
“You look incredibly sexy all tied up like that. Waiting for me to tell you what to do.” His hand skimmed her backside and she flinched. “Easy there, princess,” he crooned in her ear. “I’m going to take good care of you.”
“I… ” her voice was croaky and she swallowed, trying to ease the dryness. “I trust you.”
“Good.” He stood in front of her now, his hands fondling her body with long strokes. Cupping her breasts, he lifted and squeezed, ran his thumbs over the nipples until they were hard and distended. She arched into his touch, and when his lips closed around one peak she cried out. By the time his mouth switched to the other breast she shook with desire. She lifted her bound hands over his head and rested them on his shoulders to help steady her.
He stood and took her mouth. Their tongues duelled and tangled. She pressed her nakedness against him only to realise he was still fully clothed. It felt all kinds of wanton to be naked, bound and blindfolded, writhing against him when he was still covered from neck to toe.
Then he was gone. He’d ducked out from under her hands and pulled away so fast she almost fell. He grabbed her by the elbows to help her regain her balance before letting go. “Turn around.”
Careful not to lose her balance again, she turned to face the other way. His hands took hers and guided them forward to grip the rail at the end of the bed. She was partially bent at the waist and her arse stuck out behind her. “Now spread your legs.”
She obeyed without hesitation, shifting her feet apart.
“Wider,” he commanded.
Taking a deep breath, she shuffled her feet a few more centimetres. His hands appeared, stroking the cheeks of her arse. “Perfect,” he murmured. She expected to hear the sound of his zipper, feel the head of his erection pressing against her entrance and she shook with longing.
Instead there was a soft shuffle of sound before her wetness was invaded, not by his hard cock, but by his tongue.
“Oh, fuck,” she moaned, her legs threatening to buckle. His hands gripped onto the inside of her thighs as he continued the onslaught. His tongue tunnelled deep into her before withdrawing to circle her sensitised clitoris. She could feel her internal muscles clenching as her orgasm approached. Yes, she was just on the edge. Then he was gone again. A desperate groan was pulled from deep inside her at the loss.
His mouth was at her ear. “No coming until I say you can come.” His voice, rough with lust and excitement, made her shiver. “Do you understand?”
“Yes.” The tone of her own voice startled her. She sounded desperate, obedient, compliant. Like she would do anything he said if only he would give her the permission she wanted. She didn’t have time to think about the consequences of that before he kissed her again. He walked her backwards away from the bed. Her bound hands were caught between them and she used what little movement she could manage to grip onto his shirt in an attempt to stop him from disappearing on her again.
She came to a halt as he pressed her up against a wall. Gripping her forearms in his strong hands, he lifted them up until she felt her bound wrists slide over a hook. She was confused momentarily, then recognised the wall behind her was actually the inside of her closet door. The hook, the one he’d pulled her scarves from in the first place.
She could still stand easily, thanks to her heels. However, the hook was high enough she wouldn’t be able to free herself without his help.
“My gorgeous, Amber,” he murmured as he played with her body. Tweaking her nipples, brushing the inside of her thighs, kissing her ribs. With the blindfold still covering her eyes, she never knew what was coming, where he would touch, kiss or lick next. She wanted to cry at the frustration of it. “You are mine,” he told her as he trailed kisses across her cheek. “I can do anything I want to you and you can’t stop me.” One long finger slid into her and she shouted in surprise. “How does it feel, to be totally under my control?” He pinched her right nipple, gently, while sliding his finger in and out of her at
a maddeningly slow rate. “Do you like it, Amber?”
She gasped, her entire body tense with the need for release. “Yes,” she gasped. “Lincoln, please. Do anything you want, but let me come.”
His low chuckle made her want to strike out at him in frustration. “I think I like hearing you beg.”
He released her and stepped away. She was about to yell at him for torturing her when she heard the rustle of clothing, the slid of his belt being pulled out of its loops and dropped on the floor. She smiled. He was shedding those annoying clothes and they would be skin to skin—finally.
A hand wrapped around the back of her knee, raising her leg up over his hip as he fitted himself between her thighs. She could feel the rasp of his denim jeans against her body, the cotton of his t-shirt, and knew he hadn’t removed his clothes at all. He’d only undone his pants to release his erection and slide on a condom. Even so, she couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped her as his hard cock slid inside her body. His own grunt of pleasure told her he was just as affected. She tilted her hips toward him as he began thrusting and withdrawing, her leg wrapped tightly around his waist. She was thankful for the high heel that made her tall enough to take him comfortably while standing up.
Mewling noises left her throat as he moved faster, she reached for the bliss she knew was coming. Then, just as she began to shudder with release, he stopped again. “No,” she wailed, trying desperately to rub against him, to reach the peak that was so close.
“Tell me,” he growled, his face pressed into the curve of her neck. “Tell me you belong to me, Amber. Tell me you’re mine.”
He drew out of her slowly, so she could feel each and every centimetre of his cock, and drove back in. Amber was sure her eyes rolled back in her head. He did it again, harder.
The scarf that had kept her blindfolded was ripped away and Amber opened her eyes. The single lamp lighting the room seemed to blaze after the darkness, but his face was cast in shadow, his expression unreadable.
Lost in Amber: Steamy Contemporary Romance (Finding Forever Book 2) Page 13