Eric sighed. “Just trust me, okay?”
She frowned, and he stood and came to her. He put his arms around her and held her close. “I’m sorry. It’s going to be fine. You just have to give me some time to work it all out.”
“But I thought you had a plan.” She felt him stiffen and instantly regretted her words.
He let go of her and walked to the window, looking out. “It frosted last night.” He turned back to the fireplace. “I can get a fire going for you.”
“That’d be nice.”
“I’m going to go into town and see what food I can rustle up. Will you be okay without me?”
She hesitated for only a second. “Jah. Yes. Of course.” But in truth, the last thing she wanted was to be left alone in the woods. As far as she could tell driving up the day before, none of the other cabins were occupied. She imagined they were mostly used during the summer months.
Eric went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. She heard him spit into the sink before he returned, carrying his coat.
“I won’t be long, okay?”
“Okay.”
He gave her a quick kiss and was gone.
She stared at the closed door and then turned back to the fireplace. He hadn’t built her a fire after all, but it wasn’t really cold in the cabin. The heating system seemed to be in good order. Yet there was nothing cozier than sitting before a fire. She walked to the stack of wood at the side of the hearth. She didn’t need anyone to build her a fire. She’d done it enough times in her life.
There was a stack of old newspaper next to the wood. She knelt on the rag rug before the hearth and got busy. A box of long matches sat next to the fireplace screen. She laughed when she took one out. She’d never seen such a thing. Why would anyone need a long match like that? It seemed perfectly silly.
Once the fire was going well, Sarah went back to the kitchen area. She opened all the cupboards, searching for canned goods. Surely, there was something to eat. She’d never heard of a kitchen without a pantry bursting with jars of fruit, vegetables, jellies, and jams. But after probing deeply inside every cupboard, she came up empty-handed.
With a sigh, she pulled the armchair directly in front of the fire and sat down. The flames licked up the sides of the logs, snapping and spitting sparks up the chimney. Other than that, it was quiet. So quiet she could hear herself breathe. She patted her stomach.
“How are you doing down there?” she asked, her voice like a soft melody. “I love you, little one. We did it. Your mamm and dat are married now.”
She smiled, realizing she needed to drop her Pennsylvania Dutch. “Your mom and dad are married now,” she repeated in English. Would she teach her little one Pennsylvania Dutch? It had been her first language, after all. But then, why would the child need it in the Englisch world?
He—or she—wouldn’t.
She wondered what Annie was doing. Of course, they all would know she was gone by now. They probably searched around the farm for her first. Then they would have spread the search to the community. When that didn’t turn her up, she imagined Annie would have used the phone shanty to call Hollybrook. She would have called the Ebersols who had a phone in their barn. Then the Ebersols would then have gone to Mamm and Dat to tell them.
She closed her eyes and visualized her mamm getting the news. Would she be worried? Why of course, she would be.
Or…
Sarah gulped. Perhaps, her parents would see this as an answer to their prayers. If their daughter ran away and couldn’t be found, they wouldn’t have to deal with the shame of it all. Sarah would just be—gone. Out of their lives.
Sarah opened her eyes and sat up straight. But wouldn’t they try to find her? Wouldn’t they go to Eric’s parents? But they had no idea what Eric’s last name was. How could they find his parents? Besides, confrontation wasn’t their way. There would be no show-down.
But there would be gossip. She had no doubt about that. The Ebersols weren’t known for keeping things quiet. No. The tongues would be wagging. Everyone would find out. Joseph Yoder will find out. Sarah tensed. She knew he was sweet on her. What would he think when he heard the news? A flash of shame threatened to overcome her, but she shook her head. She couldn’t and wouldn’t worry herself about Joseph Yoder. He wasn’t anything to her.
But she was to him. She felt a moment of sorrow for him.
She shuddered and glanced around the cabin. This was her home now. At least for the time being. And she would do her best to make it nice and cozy and welcoming for Eric. She needed to put aside her Amish life. She needed to put aside her past. With that thought, she got up and found a broom. She spent the next hour sweeping and dusting. She even cleaned the toilet and shower.
When she was finished, she was pleasantly tired. A good kind of tired. She put all the cleaning supplies away and stepped into the bathroom to take her own shower. She’d wash her hair, too. Eric loved her hair.
Eric returned just before noon. She watched him get out of the car and noticed the solemn look on his face. Her stomach tightened as she saw him grab a bag of groceries and approach the cabin. She rushed to the door and threw it open for him.
“You’re back!” she cried, throwing her arms around him.
He laughed, and they tumbled inside.
“Nice welcome. I like it,” he said, setting the bag on the table.
“You got some food?”
“Not a lot. But it should be enough for a day or two.”
She dug in the bag and pulled out two small frozen pizzas, each in a thin cardboard box, a medium-sized box of dry cereal, a half-gallon of milk, a loaf of white bread, and a jar of peanut butter. No eggs, no bacon, no lettuce or fruit. She turned to him and put a big smile on her face.
“Thank you, Eric.”
“Should hold us for a while anyway.” He gazed at the fire. “Oh, man. I forgot to build you a fire.”
“It’s all right. It wasn’t any trouble.”
He sloughed out of his coat and threw it over the back of the couch. “I stopped over at Dean’s.”
She knew Dean from her time at Powter’s Point. He always came with Eric.
“How is he?”
“This is his parent’s cabin.”
“Oh. I wondered.”
“Turns out he hasn’t told them we’re using it.”
“What?” Sarah was alarmed. Was everything they were doing secret?
“Shouldn’t be a problem, though. His mom doesn’t like to come here in the winter.” Eric rubbed his hand over his chin.
Sarah watched him and realized that he wouldn’t be growing a beard. All Amish men immediately grew a beard when they were married. But Eric wasn’t Amish, and frankly, either was she. What made a person Amish anyway?
She was quite certain that being with child and running away to marry an Englischer wouldn’t qualify her anymore. She placed the cereal box on the shelf next to the peanut butter. And what about God? Did she still believe in Him like before? She shivered and deliberately changed her train of thought.
“Did you stop by to see your folks?”
Eric bent over and threw another log onto the fire. “No.” At her soft intake of breath, he continued. “I will, though. I told you.”
He squatted before the fire, and the light from the flames played over his face. She realized that she hadn’t turned on any house lights, though the day was cloudy. She’d have to get used to having lights at the flick of a switch. It really was quite wonderful. She moved to the wall and turned the kitchen lights on.
Eric glanced up at her. “Were you okay while I was gone?”
“Jah. I mean, yes. I cleaned everything.”
He glanced around and nodded. “Nice. Are you hungry?”
“I am. Do you want a peanut butter sandwich?”
“Yeah.”
She got right to it, wishing there were homemade apricot preserves handy. But plain peanut butter would have to do. She made two sandwiches for Eric and one for herself.
With dismay, she noted that almost half the loaf of bread was gone now. She’d have to be more careful, which could prove difficult. She was beginning to regain her appetite, and it was coming back with a vengeance. She glanced over the paltry amount of food they had for the next couple days and knew it would never be enough.
Well, it had to be. As simple as that. If it were only springtime, she could plant a little garden. She cringed. What was she thinking? If it was springtime, they wouldn’t be able to hide away in this cabin anymore. Dean’s family would be using it.
She put Eric’s sandwiches on a plate and took the plate to him. He grabbed her hand and tugged, bringing her down to his level. He kissed her long and hard.
“I think we forgot we’re married,” he said, his voice low. He set the plate on the couch and pulled her into his lap. He tightened his arms around her and kissed her again, a lingering kiss that reminded Sarah why she’d fallen for him in the first place. When he drew away, he raised his brow. “Are you sleepy? Want to take a nap?”
She giggled at his thinly-veiled request. “Eat your sandwich first,” she said in a teasing voice.
“You’re a hard woman,” he answered back, tweaking her hair over her shoulder.
Chapter Five
Later that afternoon, Sarah sat on the couch wondering what she was supposed to do. Everything was clean. There was nothing to read. No animals to tend. Nothing to cook. She wasn’t used to having free time, and she had no idea what to do with herself.
“Quit your squirming,” Eric said. “What’s wrong with you anyway?” He put his cell phone down on the arm of the couch.
“What are we supposed to do?”
“I don’t know. It’s Sunday afternoon. What do you usually do?”
“Since this isn’t a preaching Sunday, I’d be out visiting family and friends.”
“We could go visit Michaela if you want. I know you’re pretty good friends with her.”
Sarah perked up. “Oh, I’d love that. Can we?”
“Don’t see why not.” Eric stood. “Wait a minute. How about if I call her? She can visit us here.”
“Why?”
“Gas. I’m trying to conserve.”
Sarah nodded. “All right. Can you call her?”
“No, but you can.” He picked up his cell and punched in a number, handing her the phone.
Sarah put it to her ear. After five rings, it went to voice mail, but she didn’t leave a message. She handed the phone back to Eric. “No answer. She’s not home.”
Eric laughed. “Doesn’t really work that way anymore. She could be at home, just not answering her phone.”
Sarah was disappointed. Seeing Michaela would have been something to do. She stood up and walked to the window, looking out at the pines scattered among a variety of trees with naked branches. Perhaps they were maple. Or oak. She wasn’t sure. As she turned away from the window, she caught sight of a dark red car coming down the narrow road.
“Hey, someone’s coming,” she said.
Eric sprang up and joined her at the window. “Whoa! It’s Jailin’s car. Nice!”
Jailin also used to join them at Powter’s Point. Sarah liked him all right, even though his voice was like the bellow of a bull.
“Hey, I think Dean’s with him!”
Eric was already out the door, standing on the porch, waving them in. Sarah stepped outside, but it was so cold, she ducked back into the house, walking straight to the fireplace.
“Come in, guys!” Eric said, his voice animated. “So glad you came.”
Dean and Jailin came in, stomping their shoes on the welcome mat.
“So, congratulations, bro!” Jailin cried, his voice booming.
“Yeah. Congrats to you, too, Sarah.” Dean came over and gave her a quick hug. She flinched, not accustomed to receiving hugs from anyone other than family. And Eric. Of course, Eric.
“Thanks,” she murmured.
“How d’you like the cabin?” Dean’s face was beaming.
“It’s right nice.”
“Glad you think so. Nice solution, don’t you think? Especially since Eric doesn’t plan to tell his—”
Eric jerked forward and slapped Dean on the back. “Like I said, so glad you guys came.”
Dean laughed and plunked down on the couch. Sarah’s brow furrowed. Was Dean about to say that Eric didn’t plan to tell his folks? Was that was he was going to say? But Eric had assured her that he just needed a bit more time. She looked at him, but he avoided her eyes, instead reaching over to flip the TV on.
“Don’t bother with that,” Dean said. “Mom and Dad cut the cable during the winter months.”
“Who needs TV anyway?” Jailin asked. “Let’s play.”
Sarah watched as they all got out their phones and synced to some game. She didn’t understand how it worked, nor did she really want to. Staring at a tiny screen to play games seemed silly to her. She had eyed a couple of box games on a shelf in the hallway. She’d rather play those. Truth be told, she was somewhat of an expert with Scrabble.
“We could play one of the games in the hallway,” she suggested, giving each of them a hopeful look.
Not one of them heard her. Or if they had, they were too involved with their phones to pay her any mind. She wandered over to the fireplace and sat down on the armchair in front of it. The flames were dancing wildly, so she assumed the wind was kicking up outside.
She rested her head back and closed her eyes, not falling asleep, though. That would have been impossible with the guys shouting at each other—sometimes cheering, sometimes accusing each other of cheating. They got louder and louder, to the point where it started to give Sarah a headache. She considered going into the bedroom and lying down. But she wasn’t accustomed to taking naps during the day. She tapped her fingers on the armrest of the chair, and a deep restlessness surged through her.
She gazed around the small cabin. She couldn’t see one thing that needed tending to. Not one thing. And there were no ingredients to cook with. Her mind wandered again to Annie. She hoped her sister wasn’t too worried about her. She already missed Annie, which surprised her. During the last week, Sarah been highly irritated with her sister’s hovering presence. But now, knowing that she wouldn’t see her for months or perhaps ever again, she missed her. Missed her enough to feel actual pain in her chest.
She’d been wrong to be so annoyed with Annie. Dat’s plan wasn’t Annie’s fault at all. And she couldn’t fault Annie for being excited about it. She knew how dearly her sister yearned for a baby. Sarah sighed heavily. She missed Annie. Plain and simple. She missed her younger sister Miriam, too.
Unbidden tears filled her eyes. She swiped at them with impatience. Why was she acting so maudlin? She was married to the man she loved, and she was going to have a baby. The man she loved… Sarah glanced over at Eric and his friends again. Eric was laughing, his eyes intent on his phone. The three of them started to make revving noises, like a fast racecars. Then they all cracked up, guffawing like donkeys.
Eric didn’t seem like a man; he was too young. Her nostrils flared. How absurd. Of course, he was a man. He was about to be a father.
Eric peered at her over his screen and gave her a warm smile, and just as quickly, his attention went back to the game. But his smile had done its work. Sarah felt his charm down to her toes. How wrong she was to doubt him. And how inappropriate. He would be a wonderful husband and father. Of course, he would. And he loved her.
She saw it in his eyes.
The afternoon wore on with the slowness of a lame hog in the heat of summer. Sarah had never felt so fidgety in her life. In desperation, she dug out an old magazine from beneath stacks of toilet paper in the bathroom cabinet. The magazine was years out of date, but it made no difference to her. She was reading it the second time through when Jailin tossed his phone to the couch.
“I’m about to go dead here. You got a charger?”
Dean nodded toward the kitchen, his eyes still glued to his
phone. “In the top drawer.”
Jailin stood and stretched his long arms over his head, touching the ceiling. “And I’m hungry. What d’ya got to eat?”
Sarah gave a start. Hardly anything, she thought, watching with dread as Jailin headed toward the fridge. He pulled open the door. “Man, you guys got nothing. There’s only some milk in here.”
Sarah held her breath.
He pulled open the freezer door. “Bingo!” he cried, removing the two boxes of pizza. “Anybody else hungry?”
Dean looked up. “I could eat.”
Without asking permission, Jailin opened both boxes and each pizza fell out onto the counter with a hollow thud. He switched the oven on and then began removing the cellophane from around the crusts.
Sarah’s eyes flashed to Eric. He looked at her, and she knew he was thinking the same thing she was. If they ate the pizzas, she and Eric would run out of food before the next day was over. She waited for him to say something, anything. But he only got up and walked to the kitchen to take four plates and four glasses out of the cupboard.
“We’re drinking water,” he said. “Hope that’s okay.”
“Fine by me,” Dean answered.
“I might have a glass of milk, if that’s all right. You got any chocolate syrup to put in it?”
Sarah watched with growing dismay as Jailin poured himself a huge glass of milk. She had been taught her whole life to be hospitable and to share freely, and she’d never given it a second thought. Generosity was just their way.
But then, she’d never been in danger of starving to death before either.
She chastised herself. She wasn’t going to starve to death. But still, as she watched the boys, her eyes misted over and she had an overwhelming urge to leave and to just go home. To her real home. Where there was food. And chores to tend to. And her family. She wanted to sit next to the warming stove and have Mamm serve her tea and homemade biscuits. She wanted to help clean up the kitchen and stack the dishes on the wide wooden shelves. She wanted to glance into the pantry and help Mamm decide what to serve at the upcoming meal.
She’d been gone from home for mere days, and she was already forlorn and homesick. It wouldn’t do.
Amish Romance: Annie's Story: Three Book Box Set Page 10