Holding Out for Christmas

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Holding Out for Christmas Page 19

by Janet Dailey


  “On one of the beds, if that’s all right. Then I’ll need a minute alone to arrange things.”

  “As Alice in Wonderland would say, this is getting ‘curiouser and curiouser.’” He glanced at Megan, hoping she’d return his smile. But she looked uneasy, as if she were about to confess to a crime.

  “We’re using Rush’s old room as a spare these days,” he said. “At least it’s clean.” He carried the suitcase into the room and laid it on the patchwork coverlet. “Now what?”

  “If you’ll step out for a minute, I’ll call you when I’m ready.”

  As the door clicked shut, Megan opened the suitcase and laid the contents out on the bed: the wig, open makeup case, jeans, shirt, jacket, boots, and Stetson. She’d weighed the idea of putting everything on, but she didn’t want Conner to see her as Lacy. She wanted him to see the empty trappings of a woman who was only make-believe.

  Hands shaking, she closed the suitcase and set it on the floor. Then, closing the door behind her, she went to get Conner. She found him in the kitchen, sipping a beer. “Liquid courage,” he said, putting the can on the counter. “You’ve got me worried. Are you ready?”

  “As ready as I’ll ever be. Come on.” She led him back down the hall. “I’ve got a secret. It’s the reason I went to Nashville.”

  “So, why did you go?” They had reached the door, which was still closed.

  “I went to sing with the Badger Hollow Boys.” She opened the door, revealing the carefully arranged contents of the suitcase. “There’s your dream woman, Conner. Miss Lacy Leatherwood, or what there is of her.”

  He stared at the things on the bed. Megan watched for his reaction. Would he be angry? Would he accuse her of playing him? But, no, what he did next took her completely by surprise.

  He laughed.

  “I don’t understand,” she said. “You think this is funny?”

  “In a way, it is,” he said. “You see, I’ve got a secret, too. I’ve known who you were all along, almost from the beginning.”

  “How . . .” She choked out the words. “Who told you? Maggie and Tracy?” Megan felt as if she’d been sucker punched. Had her so-called friends betrayed her?

  “No way. Those two ladies would never rat on a friend. I figured it out by myself, when Daniel hurt his shoulder and I heard you in the backseat, singing to comfort him. ‘Walkin’ After Midnight.’ As soon as I heard that song, in that voice, I knew.”

  She stared at him, feeling like a fool. “But why didn’t you tell me? What were you thinking?”

  “I could ask you the same question.”

  “I asked first.” She tried to read him. He seemed to be taking the whole situation as a joke. But to Megan, it wasn’t funny.

  “All right. At first, it was fun, like a game. I enjoyed dating a woman with a secret identity. But then, as I started to care for you, I realized that you needed to be the one to tell me—to trust me enough to share who you really were.”

  “Who I really was?” Megan’s insecurities flamed into anger. Lacy strikes again. She’d hoped Conner would be different. But that had been too much to expect. He was no different from the others. He wanted Lacy, not her.

  “You think this is who I really am?” She picked up the wig and flung it at him. “Then take it! Take it all!”

  He laid the wig back on the bed. “I just wanted you to be honest with me. I’m in love with you, Megan.”

  The words cut like razors. He’d finally said them—but in the worst possible context.

  “In love with me, are you?” She flung the words back at him. “When you held me in your arms, when you kissed me—was it me, or was it your dream woman you were kissing? Next you’ll be wanting me to play dress-up for you—and, believe me, you wouldn’t be the first man to ask.”

  “Megan—” Shock turned his face pale.

  “No, listen to me. I came up with the name and the costume to help me get singing gigs. I was Lacy Leatherwood onstage, and it was fun at first. But then Lacy started taking over my love life. Guys would ask me out, and before I knew it, they were begging me to show up as Lacy. Maybe that’s why I stuck with Derek, the man I just dumped. He was a controlling jerk in some ways, but at least it was me he wanted, not her.”

  Still talking, she picked up the suitcase, opened it on the bed, and began tossing Lacy’s things into it. “I thought maybe you were different, Conner—a man who wanted me for myself. But you’re like the others—maybe worse. You strung me along to test my honesty—or so you say. But the whole time, you were lying, too.”

  Megan snapped the suitcase shut, grabbed it by the handle, and stalked out of the room. “No need to see me out. I can manage by myself.”

  “Can’t we at least talk about this?” Conner didn’t try to stop her except with words.

  “We’re done, Conner. Don’t try to call me.” She strode down the hall, out the front door, and across the porch.

  By the time she got to the bottom step, tears were blurring her eyes, but she kept walking, all the way to her car.

  * * *

  From the doorway, Conner watched her cross the yard and climb into her Toyota. An icy wind had sprung up, blowing the first powdery flakes of a storm. The snow thickened, swirling around the car as Megan drove out of the yard and down the lane. He stood watching until she disappeared from sight.

  Chapter 14

  Megan turned on the windshield wipers to clear the blowing snow. But there was little she could do about the tears that blurred her vision. She had pinned her hopes and dreams on Conner. Under his spell, she had cast common sense aside and given him her foolish, love-hungry heart.

  But she should have listened to the warning voice in her head. She should have known that Lacy would win again.

  He’d wanted Lacy all along, even before they’d met, Megan reminded herself. She’d discovered that truth going into the relationship. It should’ve been a red flag the size of a football field. But she’d been so taken in by the charming cowboy that she’d ignored the danger signs. Now it was time to pay the price.

  A few blocks from home, she pulled off the road to splash her face with water from a bottle in the car and to get her reeling emotions under control.

  What next? she asked herself. She could go back to Nashville. She still had her apartment, and there should be a few midyear teaching jobs open, even though getting a reference from Derek might be an issue. He was just mean-spirited enough to cause her problems.

  And what about her singing career? What if last night’s opener had gotten her noticed at last? Could she afford to walk away from that chance?

  Until today, she had all but made the decision to move to Branding Iron. But the hope of a future with Conner had been a big part of that decision. Could she stay, now that their relationship was over? Branding Iron was a small town. She was bound to run into Conner and the next female in his parade of girlfriends. How would she handle it?

  She was beginning to sympathize with Ronda May.

  With a sigh, Megan pulled away from the curb and headed for home. She had some soul-searching decisions to make.

  By the time she reached home, the snow was coming down in vast white sheets. Her father’s van was sheltered by the carport, but Megan had no place to park except alongside the driveway, where her car would soon be buried in snow.

  She came in through the front door, brushing snow off her coat. The aromas of slow-cooker pot roast and fresh oatmeal cookies welcomed her home. Her father was in the kitchen, cooking. He greeted her with a smile. “Since your mother’s just finishing her pictures, I thought I’d play chef,” he said. “Sorry we didn’t have time to talk when you popped in an hour ago. How was your trip to Nashville?”

  Megan gave him a hug. He hugged her back, a bit awkwardly. Ed had never been an affectionate man, but he always put his family’s needs ahead of his own. Megan knew he loved them.

  “It was a productive trip,” she said. “The performance went fine, no stumbles. While I was there, I
broke up with Derek once and for all, and quit my teaching job.”

  “My goodness.” He lifted a sheet of cookies from the oven and set them out to cool. “It sounds like you’re burning your bridges there. Any plans? What about Conner? Your mother said you went to find him.”

  “It seems I’m on a roll,” Megan said. “I broke up with Conner today, too.” She smiled as she said it, hiding the pain of a broken heart.

  “Oh? Too bad. I never said so, but I rather liked him. More than Derek, if you want to know the truth. So, what’s next?”

  Megan picked up a warm cookie and let a bite melt on her tongue. “I don’t know. Right now, I have my feet firmly planted in thin air.”

  “Well, let me know if you need any help. I hope at least you’ll follow up on that teaching-job application I gave you.”

  “I will. I promise. Right now, I’m keeping all my options open.” Excusing herself, Megan went to her room and sat down at her computer to check her e-mail.

  To her surprise, there was a reply to her query from the Department of Public Education.

  Dear Miss Carson:

  Thank you for asking about drivers’ education for people with Down syndrome. Unfortunately, we have no public programs that meet this need. For that, we usually refer people to private agencies. I notice that you live near Cottonwood Springs. A driving school there employs a teacher who specializes in students with disabilities, including Down syndrome. If you’d like to learn more, here’s their contact information.

  Megan read the message again, including the address and phone number provided. She’d hoped for an easier solution, but at least she had a lead.

  She went online and found the driving school’s website. They looked legitimate, and the Public Education Department had recommended them. Scrolling down, she saw that they had evening classes to cover the material in the Texas Driver Handbook and offered assistance, if needed, in taking the written test. Once the test was passed, the classes would be followed by several days of on-the-road instruction.

  This could work for Daniel. But he would need someone to drive him to Cottonwood Springs for the series of evening classes, the test, and the hands-on driving instruction. Her mother couldn’t do it, and even if he’d agree to help, it might involve more time than her father could spare. That left her, and no one else.

  When she clicked on the link to the cost, her heart sank. The instruction was expensive—several thousand dollars for the program, depending on how much help was needed. Even if her parents agreed to let Daniel take the classes, given her mother’s medical needs, they couldn’t afford to pay.

  But she could. She’d been saving for the down payment on a Nashville condo. If she moved back home, she could dip into that money to pay for Daniel’s driver-training classes.

  But should she do it—take Daniel’s side against her parents, cancel any plans for her singing career by moving home, and spend the money for something that might not be the best idea? What if her parents were right? What if, after all that work, Daniel couldn’t pass the test? Or worse, what if he were to get his license and then have an accident?

  “Megan?” Her father rapped on the closed bedroom door. “Sorry to disturb you.”

  “No, it’s fine.” She hastily closed the computer screen. “Come on in.”

  He opened the door. “Hate to ask, but I just got a call from Daniel at work. He’s getting off early because of the snow. I’m tied up in the kitchen. Would you mind picking him up? You can take the van. It’ll be safer on slick roads.”

  “Sure. I’ll be happy to.” Megan took the van keys from him and zipped on her warm coat.

  * * *

  Outside, the snow was only a couple of inches deep, but the storm front had arrived in full fury. Snow blasted the windshield of the van as she backed out of the carport. At least the Christmas Tree Ranch should get enough snow for more sleigh rides. Not that it mattered to her anymore. She’d enjoyed the ranch and the friendships with the partners and their women. But those days were behind her now. If she stayed in Branding Iron, she would have to make new friends—not an easy thing for a single woman in a small town. And as for dating, she could write that off.

  At Shop Mart, employees and customers were leaving the parking lot in their cars. According to the radio, the freak storm was supposed to be a record setter, with as much as eighteen inches of snow in the forecast by morning. People were being advised to go home and stay there until the roads could be cleared. The van was a heavy vehicle with a wheelchair lift in the back. Megan felt safe in it, but she could see other cars skidding and sliding on the snow-slicked road. Where she could, she gave them a wide berth.

  When she pulled up to the Shop Mart entrance, she saw Daniel standing in the sheltered entryway. His arms were around Katy. He had wrapped her in his coat to keep her warm. They came out together and climbed into the backseat. “Can we give Katy a ride?” he asked. “Her dad’s at work, and her mom isn’t home.”

  “Certainly,” Megan said. “How are you, Katy?”

  Katy’s laugh was like a little tinkling bell. “I was freezing, but it’s nice and warm in here. Thank you for taking me home. You know where I live, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I do.” Megan drove out of the parking lot and headed back up Main Street to the part of town where Katy lived. “We’ve been talking about our wedding,” Katy said. “I don’t want anything fancy, but I do want it in the church, and I want to wear a pretty white dress and a veil.”

  “And when is this supposed to take place?” Megan couldn’t help but wonder if she was being recruited as their advocate.

  “We don’t know yet,” Daniel said. “I want to wait until I get my license. This way, I can drive.”

  “My dad can get us a little car,” Katy said. “He has lots of cars around the garage. When Daniel can drive, I’ll ask Dad to fix one up and get it running for us.”

  “Then we can be a family,” Daniel said. “Just Katy and me and her cat.”

  “I remember that little tabby cat,” Megan said. “Daniel gave her to you last Christmas. How is she doing?”

  “Oh, she’s beautiful,” Katy said. “She’s all grown up. Dr. Rushford fixed her for me so she won’t have babies. I kind of wanted her to have some. They’re so cute. But he said it wasn’t a good idea.”

  The snow was pelting down harder than ever. The old-fashioned Christmas lights, strung across Main Street, were faint blurs of color, barely shining through the swirling white. “It’s so pretty,” Katy said. “But why can’t snow be warm and soft like feathers? That would be so much nicer.”

  Megan and Daniel laughed. Around the next corner, Megan could see the neat little frame home where Katy and her parents lived. A maroon Honda, which she recognized as Connie Parker’s, was just pulling into the driveway. “It looks like your mom’s home, Katy,” Megan said, parking behind the car.

  “It looks like she’s got packages.” Like the true gentleman he was, Daniel climbed out of the van, helped Katy to the ground, and then strode over to help Katy’s mother carry her packages into the house. Megan watched him from the van. Her brother was doing his best to show what a considerate husband and son-in-law he would be. She knew that the Parkers liked him, but like Megan’s family, they worried about how the two young people would manage as a married couple.

  “Let’s go.” Daniel came back to the van. “Thanks for taking Katy home.”

  “You two really love each other, don’t you?”

  “Uh-huh.” He grinned.

  “Do you have any idea how lucky you are?” Megan spoke past the lump in her throat. She blinked back a tear as she turned down the street toward home.

  “What happened?” Daniel didn’t miss much. “Did you have a fight with Conner?”

  “I’m afraid so. We broke up.”

  “Oh no! Conner’s the best. I wanted you to marry him.”

  “Sorry. It’s not going to happen. And don’t ask me why. Talking about it will only make me feel worse.


  “Okay.” Daniel fell silent for a moment. “Can we talk about driving?”

  “All right. Are you having trouble with the information in that booklet?”

  He nodded dejectedly. “It’s hard. I’ve studied and studied. But there’s still stuff I can’t figure out. What if I can’t pass the test? How can I marry Katy if I can’t even drive her to work or take her to a movie?”

  The emotion in his voice tore at Megan’s heart. But telling him about the driving school now would be a mistake. If her doubts won out over her desire to help him, her brother would be crushed. And so would Katy.

  The course would last for a couple of months, at most, depending on his progress. The money wasn’t an insurmountable issue, but her parents could still say no. And if they agreed to let Daniel try for his license, she would have to give up her own plans in order to stay in Branding Iron and help him. Even the teaching job her father was urging her to take would be difficult to work around.

  Could she do it? Could she give up a couple of months of her precious, selfish time for the sake of two people’s lifetime happiness?

  What kind of person would even ask that question?

  She wouldn’t tell Daniel until everything was in place—getting his hopes up too soon would be cruel. But she would start soon, by talking with her parents. They were going to take some serious persuading. Once they said yes—if they did—she would contact the driving school.

  At least, for now, she’d have something to keep her busy—and take her mind off Conner.

  * * *

  Nursing a beer and feeling like two-day-old roadkill, Conner sat slumped in the overstuffed chair, watching the rebroadcast of a PBR event on TV. He had loved the dangerous sport—the challenge of it, the rush, the cheers of the crowd when he lasted eight seconds on a rank bull. Watching it now, knowing he could never do it again, was a form of well-deserved punishment.

  Bucket nosed his hand, wanting attention. Conner scratched the dog’s scruffy ears. “Well, old boy, I guess she’s dumped us,” he muttered, half to himself. “Serves me right. I should’ve been up front about knowing her secret. That, or I should’ve been smart enough to act surprised and keep quiet when she told me the truth. Instead, I opened my big mouth and ruined everything.” He took a swig of beer, emptying the can, then crushed it in his fist. “Damn it, she was the one—the woman I wanted to wake up with every morning for the rest of my life.”

 

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