Knocking sounded at the door just as she was stuffing her cosmetics back in her makeup kit. Startled, she dropped the bag, spilling the contents into the sink. Damn it! Had the coward who’d violated her room also stolen her backbone? She’d seen worse, been through worse. To slow her adrenaline-fired heart, she did the same breathing exercises she used when she ran. No one was going to scare her away. She was stronger than this.
The knocking on the door became banging. “Alyssa!”
Rémi. Good, because she wasn’t in a fighting mood. Although he sounded ready to kick down the door. “Coming!” she shouted loud enough for him to hear over the ruckus he was making. She quickly looped a thick hair-elastic around her ponytail as she crossed her room.
“Everything okay?” he asked as soon as she opened the door.
The rough sexiness of his voice and the concerned expression on his face had her stomach somersaulting. Every minute with this man was like riding a roller coaster; she never knew what to expect, but each twist was a thrill.
“Everything’s perfect.”
He leaned against the doorjamb, an appreciative glint in his eyes as they travelled her body. “I’ll say.”
A slow burn crept up her throat to her cheeks. She bowed her head and prayed for strength. “Should I grab some drinks from the mini-fridge?”
He bent down and picked up her canvas sneakers, handing them to her. “Already covered.”
When she followed him outside, she spotted his car in the lot below, a boat strapped to its roof. “Please tell me that’s not a kayak.”
Rémi arched a brow. “Chicken?”
Was she? Damn straight. Back stiff, she eyed the boat again, trying to stifle the image of them hurtling down the river, rolling over and over like a log. Feeling nauseated, she pressed the back of her hand to her mouth.
He moved in close and chuckled next to her ear. “Relax, it’s a canoe.”
Feeling like the village idiot, she started down the steps to the parking lot. “Thank God. I can handle criminals, but flipping ass over teakettle makes me scream.” Rémi followed her without comment. Crap. He probably thought she was a wimp now. She looked at him over her shoulder, trying to gauge his response.
The lust on his face stopped her, one foot still in the air. Rémi moved around her until he was a few steps down, placing them at eye level. His lips, barely an inch from hers, quirked. “Ass over teakettle’s one of my favorite positions.”
One slight movement of her head, that’s all it would take, and she’d have her mouth on his. Last night was fuzzy around the edges, but she remembered the taste of him, how his tongue had felt dancing with hers. She wanted that again.
Great way to keep your resolutions, Alyssa.
Right. No mixing pleasure with business. She and Rémi were work partners. Yeah. Uh-huh. After swallowing several times, she loosened her throat enough to speak. “So… uh… where are we going?” There were numerous rivers and lakes in the area, including Black River, the reserve’s namesake, which also served as the southern border with the town of St. Xavier.
Rémi hooked his thumbs on the waistband of his shorts. Turning his back to her, he continued down the steps. “There’s a boat launch just east of town. From there, we can canoe right onto the rez.”
They walked the rest of the way in silence. As he closed her door and rounded the Fusion, she couldn’t help but think there was something more to this than a pleasant boat ride. She waited while he settled behind the wheel and pulled onto the main road. “Not that I don’t appreciate the offer of a boat ride on such a blistering day, Rémi, but what’s this really about?”
His gaze shot to her before returning to the road. “Exactly what it looks like. It’s a nice day and I thought you could use a break.”
The undercurrent in his words, in his actions, niggled at her suspicious nature. Was Rémi using her as a cover? Back on the stairs, the desire burning in his eyes had been as real as the bulge in his shorts, but still he hadn’t done more than talk. He’d been as careful as she to keep a least a minimal distance between them.
Soon after, they turned into a large parking lot filled with cars and trucks, most pulling boat trailers. Rémi stopped the car and turned off the engine.
“Everything okay? We don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” he said, his usual confident expression gone. He suddenly seemed as unsure as she felt.
Before things went any further, she had to know, had to understand what, if anything, was between them. Could he possibly want the same thing she wanted? “Where are we going with this, Rémi?” Her voice sounded breathier, more vulnerable, than she would have liked.
Still facing forward, hands still gripping the steering wheel, he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “I don’t know, Alyssa. All I know is that I can’t stay away from you. And it’s killing me to keep my hands off you.”
“Why even try?”
He sighed and turned in his seat and took her hand, running his thumb along the back of it. Tingles raced up her spine, making her shiver. “A relationship between us would be bad. Really bad. For me and you.”
His words ended the delicious shivers, cold. Of course. She knew this, had even managed to convince herself of it in the shower. He sounded serious, but had he convinced himself? If so, why was he holding her hand and stroking her skin?
“Because I’m white?” she asked.
“We can date white women. As long as it doesn’t get serious.”
Her jaw dropped and she snapped it shut. “So, I’m the girl you fuck, not the one you bring home to meet the family.” All men wanted to fuck a whore and marry a virgin. Why had she thought Rémi would be any different?
He winced. “It sounds really bad when you put it that way.”
“What other way is there?” And why the hell was she letting him hold her hand and stroke it? She tried to tug her hand from his, but he held it more tightly.
“If this was just about fucking, I’d have had you in bed the first night we met.”
She sucked in a breath. “Oh my, what a big ego you have, Grandmother,” she said in a little girl voice.
He scowled at her. “The size of my ego has nothing to do with it.” Again she tried to pull her hand free, and again he resisted. “What I can offer you is far less than you deserve.”
“What if I’m okay with that?”
Hope lit his eyes, turning them a dark, rich green. But then, he turned away and leaned his head against the back of the seat. “You’d still be working for the SQ.”
Great. Black mark number two. “So as long as I’m white and I work for the SQ, we can’t have even a casual relationship?”
“As long as you’re with the SQ, it would be stupid for us to have any relationship.”
She nodded. In this, they agreed. As long as they were working together, it would be stupid for them to be together. “We’re fucked, aren’t we?” A small laugh escaped her. But even to her own ears, it sounded suspiciously like a whimper.
CHAPTER 11
After helping Alyssa into the tandem canoe, Rémi handed her the collapsible cooler containing their dinner—and his Springfield Armory 1911 in case they encountered trouble—along with some blankets to stow away. Then he shoved the boat off the riverbank and hopped in. The slight wobble had her gripping the gunwale. He smothered a grin. Alyssa was way out of her element, whereas he was right in his. They were going to have a very interesting trip.
He settled into the stern seat where he had enough space to stretch his legs while she took the more cramped one at the bow. She picked up one of the two paddles he’d placed midship, twisting it around and eyeing it suspiciously. “So how exactly do I do this?”
With her crinkled brow and the uncertainty on her face, she looked adorably perplexed. Rémi smiled to set her at ease. Canoeing was one of his favorite pastimes. He loved the freedom of gliding on the surface of the water, traveling in the way of his ancestors, the brush of moisture-laden air on his skin, the
whisper of the blade as it cut into the water. The peaceful exertion allowed him to forget the troubles plaguing his people. He wanted her to have the same experience. “Here, I’ll show you,” he said, picking up his own paddle. “But don’t feel that you have to. I can handle this canoe on my own.”
Twisting in her seat, she watched as he grabbed the handle on top of the paddle with his right hand and its throat with his left. He raised the paddle so the shaft was almost vertical to the water before reaching forward with his lower hand and slicing the water with the blade. “Use the rotation of your upper body and torso to give you power so your arm muscles don’t get tired.” Pushing forward with the top hand and back with the lower hand, he pulled the paddle along the port side of the canoe.
With precise movements, she imitated his forward stroke. The blade entered the water with a small splash. He let the boat veer so she could see the effect of her stroke. “Oh! I did it. That’s so cool.” A radiant smile lit up her face and Rémi’s worries evaporated. Bringing her with him on this little expedition had been the right thing to do. “Do I just keep going on one side or should I alternate?”
“Switch every few minutes so your shoulders don’t get sore. I’ll keep us tracking straight.”
With a bounce of her ponytail, she turned forward and started paddling as he’d shown her. Rémi kept the canoe heading straight using a mixture of draw and j-strokes. Ten minutes into the trip, they entered Blackriver First Nation land, leaving behind St. Xavier’s crowded river banks overflowing with houses built on narrow strips of clear-cut land. Alyssa stopped paddling to simply stare at the landscape. “Rémi,” she said, her voice resonating with awe. “It’s so beautiful.”
He couldn’t agree with her more. “This is how nature looks when you aren’t trying to conquer it.” The boundary separating the town from the reserve may have been invisible, but it was definitely there. This side of the line, the seemingly endless forest teemed with birds and animals.
“Oh, look!” she gasped, pointing to the riverbank where a long-legged blue-grey bird waded in the shallow water. “What is that? It’s got to be at least four feet tall.”
“A great blue heron.” Getting a kick out of her enthusiasm, Rémi chuckled and maneuvered the canoe close enough to give her a thrill but not alarm the bird. She reached into her purse, pulling out a small camera, then she turned to him, eyebrows raised in question. At his nod, she grinned and turned back toward the heron. She had time to take a few photos before the bird took off, skimming the water with its massive wings.
Alyssa swung around in her seat, eyes bright. “That was so amazing. I’ve never been this close to wild animals before. Unless you count bikers.”
He burst out laughing, startling a group of seagulls, who dove at them and nipped at Alyssa’s ponytail. She flailed her arms to shoo them away. When that didn’t work, she launched herself at him. He barely had time to shift the paddle to the side and open his arm before she smacked against his chest. The canoe rocked madly and her eyes grew so round they looked like buttons on a snowman. Using his weight and the paddle, he quickly steadied the boat. Then he set the paddle in the bottom of the canoe and wrapped his arms around her. Tremors wracked her body. “Hey, it’s okay. They’re gone now.” Fucking gulls.
She looked up, tears streaming down her cheeks. Shit. Shit. Shit. Where was big bad Alyssa, Barbie Cop extraordinaire? “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Let’s forget this and head back to town.”
Her mouth opened into a big smile and he realized she was laughing. “Are you crazy? This is the most fun I’ve had in years. When that bird grabbed my hair, I got that hysterical feeling you get when you’re on a really scary amusement park ride, something between abject terror and die-from-the-stitch-in-your-side laughter.”
He slipped his hand under the back of her tank top and was suddenly very thankful to the seagulls. Her skin was sun-warmed and soft as feathers. He continued to rub her back and she continued to smile at him, her hand caressing his chest. What was he doing? His mind froze, but his hand kept stroking her. He had to stop, had to send her back to the bow before things got any more heated.
But he didn’t move, not an inch. He wasn’t even breathing, afraid to ruin the moment. She shifted in his arms, the movement bringing her closer. His thumb grazed her beautiful breast. His pulse raced and he had to fight to keep his hand where it was and not let it roam to the nipple he could feel poking into his chest.
Alyssa tilted her chin and pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss. “Thank you for bringing me here.” She pushed herself up and carefully crawled back to her seat.
Rémi watched, chest pounding, breath coming in gasps as though he’d swum here from the boat launch instead of leisurely paddling. On the other hand, she didn’t seem all that bothered. Except for the red tint to her cheeks. Was that a sexual flush or sunburn? Either way, he had to get her on land before he did something stupid like jump her here and capsize the canoe.
He’d bitched at Corey this morning, but he understood the visceral need you could have for something. Or someone. The wanting, the fantasizing. The overwhelming desire to possess it regardless of the consequences.
Glancing back, Alyssa gave him a crooked smile that shot straight to his groin. What was it about this woman? She was wrong for him in so many ways. Ways that could hurt him. Ways that could destroy him. But right now, he couldn’t care less.
As he adjusted his stroke to hers, he shifted in his seat, tugging on his shorts to relieve the pressure she’d caused. He had to get his head on straight. Or did he? Maybe what he really needed was to get her out of his system. If he had sex with her once or twice—
Just the thought of having her under him sent a full body shiver rippling over him. And his cock hardened even more. How many times would be enough? He had no idea, but the way he was feeling right now, he was good for at least two or three times. Without a break. He let out a long sigh.
Not. In. The. Canoe.
He pulled off his T-shirt and trailed it in the river until it was soaked. Then he rubbed the cold water on his face and chest. Time to get his hormones under control. He’d brought her here for a purpose, even though he hadn’t shared that with her. Searching Blackriver for signs of drug production was first, sex could come second. And third, and fourth.
Rémi cleared his throat. “Alyssa, at the motel you mentioned you had some information.”
“Oh, right. I went to the skatepark Corey told you about. I didn’t find Mac or Johnny, but I did run into two teenage girls who promised to call if they showed up.”
“That’s great. But I know those kids. They aren’t the type to be doing drugs, much less selling them. They’re both serious about skateboarding. Mac even competes.”
“A kid like that wouldn’t be stupid enough to ruin his skate shoes killing a pig either.” Since she was facing forward, he couldn’t see her face, but he did notice her shoulders tense up.
He spotted a flat area along the bank where they could talk. Maybe some food and water would help calm them both. With a few quick strokes, he brought the canoe as close to the bank as he could without damaging it on the rocks jutting through the surface. He slipped off his shoes and stepped into the shallow water. After looping the tie rope to a tree, he helped Alyssa to shore.
They found a good spot without too many holes or rocks and spread out the blanket. As they ate their sandwiches, Alyssa seemed lost in thought. So much was going on in her life, and it seemed as though she had no one to rely on. He couldn’t imagine why her parents would stop talking to her because she’d joined the SQ.
He’d ask her about it some time, but not now. Right now, he just wanted her to have a few moments of peace. She seemed so alone at a time when so much was on the line for her. Instead of heading up a small native squad in a receptive community, she was fighting to keep the policing of Blackriver in the SQ’s hands. He couldn’t—wouldn’t—help with her job security, but he’d do everything he could regarding the threats agai
nst her.
When she started to put their wrappers back in the cooler, he stopped her with a hand on her arm. “We’re going to find whoever did this to you.”
She smiled, but it didn’t light up her face as usual. Her eyes looked troubled and tired. “I know. We’ll also find out who’s selling drugs to the kids from the reserve. One thing I know is that Corey’s lying. He’s not buying his drugs from any dealer who hangs out at the skatepark or in front of the Couche-Tard.”
That got his attention. “Who’s he buying from then?”
“I don’t know yet. But the community around the park set up a neighborhood watch, and the SQ stepped up patrols when they started having problems with drugs a few years ago. I spoke with the clerk at the dépanneur. The area’s been clean for over a year.”
Fucking little ingrate. After everything everyone had done for him, every chance he’d been given, couldn’t the kid have helped them out a little? He’d suspected Corey was lying, but to have Alyssa confirm it burned. How could he help the kid if he wasn’t honest? Actually, a better question was, why would Corey lie? Who was he protecting? “I’ll talk to him again. If I amp up the pressure, make it sound like it’s either the dealer going down or him, maybe he’ll squeal.”
“Either way, his reaction will be telling.”
Rémi rubbed her shoulder. “You’re really good at this. How’d you get the girls and the clerk to talk?”
She gave him a sad smile. “I have my ways. They’re not always pretty, but I get the job done.”
Time to lighten her mood. Fingering the red strap peeking out from her tank top, he frowned and tugged on it. “This isn’t the color I’d hoped for—” She swatted his hand away, making him grin. “But like you, it gets the job done.”
“Oh?” She stared at his chest and licked her lips. “What job is that?”
“Strip and you’ll find out.” He started undoing the snap on his shorts.
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