He blinked. “Sweetheart, you’re gorgeous, incredibly intelligent, and usually very articulate. But right now, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not upset.”
Despite his flattery, she frowned. Hadn’t he told her to be honest about her feelings? “You had tears in your eyes!”
“I did. But not because I’m upset.” He paused. “Well, I am upset, but that’s not why I got emotional.”
“So, what’s the reason then?”
Scooting over on the bed, he rolled onto his back and pulled her on top of him. With her face cradled between his large hands, he brushed his lips against hers in the sweetest kiss she’d had since fifth grade. After releasing her mouth, he rested his head on the pillow. “I almost lost you today.” His voice, thick with anguish, wrapped itself around her heart.
Her vision blurred and a lump formed in her throat. She blinked and swallowed several times, trying to get herself under control before her earlier fears came true. “But you didn’t lose me. I’m okay. Even my hearing is back to normal.”
He closed his eyes, and his fingers caressed her cheeks. “If we hadn’t been arguing, if you hadn’t chased after me… you wouldn’t be here in my arms. You’d be dead.”
“If you hadn’t shown up this morning, I’d be dead. You saved my life, Rémi.” Her chest tightened, and she knew it was true: she was alive because of him.
He inhaled deeply, and when he looked at her again, his emerald eyes shimmered. The intensity of his gaze shook her. He seemed to be peering inside her, reading her innermost thoughts, rifling through her unspoken feelings.
Like an acrobat at Cirque du Soleil, her stomach leapt and flipped. She dropped her gaze to his mouth. “I take it we’ve gone beyond casual.”
Rolling them over, he settled his long body over hers and rotated his hips. The tears evaporated, and something a little dark and primal took their place. “Way, way beyond.” He anchored his forearms on either side of her head and started to rock his pelvis.
His erection pressed between her legs, touching her in all the right places. But it wasn’t enough. She shoved his already undone pants and boxer briefs over his butt, then took him in her grasp. But before she could do more than give him a few quick strokes, he jumped off the bed and shed his remaining clothing. The sight of the bandages on his back and legs reminded her she’d have to be gentle with him. No back scratching tonight.
As he bent over searching for something in the pocket of his pants, she rose onto her elbows to take in the view. The man had a perfect ass: sleek, narrow, firm. Her hands itched to get a hold of it.
Standing up with a square package in his hand, he ripped it open and unrolled the condom over his long hard cock. Desire made her throb. She wanted that inside her. Now. He reached for her pajama bottoms, anchoring his fingers at the waist, and slid them down her legs.
After tossing them on the floor, he noticed her panties and sucked in a breath. “Do you wear these when you’re working?” he asked, fingering the belly edge of her white lace boy shorts. The husky tone of his voice told her exactly how much he approved.
“You’d be surprised at the lingerie a lot of female cops wear.”
His smooth golden chest heaved, and she had to laugh at the raw lust on his face “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me? Now when I see you in uniform, I’ll be wondering what you’re hiding underneath.
“Don’t you do that already?” she asked, arching a brow.
He grinned. “Guilty as charged. But now I think it’s time to unwrap this pretty package.” Tucking his fingers under the waistband of her panties, he inched the lacy material along her legs and over her feet until, finally, they were both gloriously naked.
She opened her arms. “Where were we?”
He climbed onto the bed and settled over her. “Right here,” he said, lowering his head and capturing her mouth in a searing kiss. Their tongues turned and twirled around each other in a sultry tango that sent pleasure shuddering through her body.
Shifting to the side, he used his knee to spread her thighs. One big hand cupped her mound. A rush of moisture eased the way for his finger as he slid it deep inside her. A moan escaped her lips when his fingertip rubbed a swollen aching spot far inside her. She gripped his shoulders, careful not to dig her nails into his skin. His thumb rubbed against her nub, and as the pressure mounted, she thrust against his hand, arching her back at the sharp sensations.
He sucked a nipple into the heat of his mouth, tugging and pulling on it. Her ecstasy spiraled, spearing from her core to her breasts, enveloping her in fire. Tilting her head back, she cried out his name as waves of bliss washed over her.
When she opened her eyes, Rémi’s gorgeous face filled her vision. She smiled and pressed her mouth against his, running her tongue along his lips. He groaned and settled his hips between her legs. Sucking her tongue into his mouth, he pressed the head of his erection against her entrance. His hips rocked, pushing him in a little deeper each time. He stretched her, filled her, completed her. She needed this—him—so much.
Releasing her mouth, he rose onto his hands and thrust into her. Sometimes deep, sometimes shallow. She anchored her heels on the mattress and matched his rhythm. Her hands slid down his back and gripped his ass, the hard muscles flexing beneath her fingers.
He raised one of her knees, giving himself more access, and drove deeper into her. She kneaded his flesh as they both groaned. Leaning forward, he sucked a nipple into his mouth, timing each draw with a buck of his hips. Heat flared from her breasts and sizzled through her blood. She pulled her hands up and wound them around his neck. His soft hair teased the sensitive skin of her breasts. Nothing had ever felt so good.
Her muscles clenched around him as tension coiled in her core. Wanting the connection—needing it—she dragged his head up and brought his lips to hers. He threaded his fingers through her hair and clasped her head between his hands as he continued to thrust at a slow, maddening pace. Arching her back, she ground her mound against his pelvis. He brought his hand between them and thrummed his finger against her nub.
Pressure greater than she’d ever known built inside her until she thought it had to burst or she would. As her fingers gripped Rémi’s neck, he tweaked her nub and gave a powerful thrust, making her explode like a supernova. A kaleidoscope flashed behind her eyes and fire raced through her body, setting every nerve aflame with the most powerful orgasm of her life. Rémi shouted her name, and arching his back, pounded into her. She held him tight against her chest as he shuddered and pulsed through his own climax.
Sometime later, Rémi shifted to his side and pulled her into his arms. She rested her cheek on his warm chest and enjoyed the beat of his thundering heart. Almost against her will, her hand sought the now familiar planes and ridges. What would it be like to fall asleep beside him every night? To wake up beside him every morning? To have him hold her like this while she slept? To make love together whenever they both wanted?
Her throat ached with unspoken words as his arm tightened around her waist. This was exactly why she’d tried to keep her feelings buried, why she hadn’t wanted to love him. Because once she started, she knew she’d never stop. She wanted everything with Rémi. A future—God!—a family even.
He’d taken root in her life and in her heart. But had she taken root in his? Rémi’s future, his home, and his family lay with a tribe who would never accept her. Did she have any right to ask him to give up everything he loved, for her?
CHAPTER 18
Rémi bounded through the woods, leaping over bushes and ducking under branches as he chased after the hare. The wind ruffled his fur and brought the odors of the forest to his nose: the moist soil, the rotting leaves… and the prey. His paws slowed as a new scent reached him—fresh blood.
Turning his muzzle into the wind, he perked his ears. A familiar high-pitched whine made him growl in response. Something was wrong with his mother. Muscles bunching and expanding, he flew over the forest fl
oor toward the sound. As he neared, he caught the smells of his pack members mingled with that of his mother, and his anxiety grew.
He vaulted over a small creek and slipped behind a boulder. Undetected, he scanned the area until he spotted her lying on the ground, surrounded by other wolves. He stepped out from his hiding place and approached. But before he could reach her, a large gray wolf with white fur edging his muzzle, jowls, and forehead, blocked his path.
Dropping his belly to the ground, Rémi lowered his ears and tail. With slow, deferent movements, he crept over to the alpha and licked him. The older wolf licked him back, his rough tongue smoothing the short hairs of Rémi’s face, but when Rémi tried to move closer to his mother, teeth clamped down on his muzzle. He whined as the alpha’s canines drew blood. The alpha growled low in his chest before finally releasing him. Rémi yelped and jumped away, running his tongue over the wound.
Confused by the alpha’s odd behavior, he sat impatiently on his haunches and kept a watchful eye on the pack. As soon as the alpha was occupied with the other wolves, Rémi sprang to his mother’s side. Eyes closed, she whimpered with each exhalation of breath. Blood seeped from a cut on her belly, streaking her sleek beige fur. He nudged her shoulder and tried to slide under her paw, then yipped when she didn’t respond.
Barking drew his attention back to the pack. They’d drawn closer while he’d been distracted. The wolves snapped their jaws, barking, yelping, and whining. Was his mother’s attacker near? Scanning the area, he saw only tall pines. He swiveled his ears, reaching for any sound indicating an imminent attack. Again nothing.
He turned to his mother and licked her face. But still she didn’t react. Running around her still form, he yipped and barked, determined to protect her.
The animals closed in, nipping at his front paws. What was wrong with his pack? His family? Baring his teeth, he raised his hackles. With his back legs, he pushed against his mother’s prone body. Why wasn’t she moving?
From the large boulder behind the advancing pack, the alpha stared down upon him. When their gazes met, the alpha shook his massive head, raised his muzzle to the sky, and let out a long melancholy howl. The sound ripped through the pack until each responded in kind. Soon, harmonizing howls rose all around him, filling the sky with sadness, anger, and fear.
Behind him, a female voice called out, “Help me!” Startled, he let out a sharp bark and swung around to face the new threat. And froze.
Alyssa.
His mate. What was she doing here? Where had his mother gone? Her face tear-stained, her eyes panicked, Alyssa reached a trembling hand out to him. “I can’t fight them alone.”
The howling crescendoed. He spun around as the pack attacked. The faces of his friends and family faded into a blur of exposed teeth and claws. A paw twice the size of his own swiped at his muzzle, tearing through his thick coat and into his flesh. He yowled but stood his ground. Rising on his hind legs, he bit down on his opponent’s neck. Fur filled his mouth, but he held on. Until another set of jaws clamped onto one of his legs. He twisted and pushed the wolf down as he closed his teeth around its muzzle. With a yelp, the animal released Rémi’s leg and scrambled out from under him.
Alyssa shrieked. The cry pulled him toward her like water to the moon. Blood poured from a wound on her thigh, making panic erupt in his heart. The wolves would scent their victory. He had to protect his mate! Springing to her side, he covered her fragile human body with his larger one. She whimpered and tunneled her fingers into his hair. He pressed a reassuring kiss to her lips and trailed a gentle finger along her wet cheek. Somehow he’d lost his teeth and claws.
He was just a man, no longer able to protect her or himself.
“I love you, Alyssa,” he whispered and wrapped his arms around her, preparing for the final death blow.
Rémi’s eyes popped open and his arms instinctively closed around Alyssa as she lay sleeping on his chest. She’s safe. Sucking in air, he stroked her hair with fingers that shook. He could still feel the wolves’ teeth sinking into his flesh, could still hear the howls echoing in his head, could still see Alyssa’s bleeding body lying in the leaves.
Fuck! He’d tried so hard to protect her, but in the end, the pack had overwhelmed him. It didn’t take a genius to understand why he’d had the nightmare. But what did it mean?
Was he destined to lose her?
Shit. Where was a dream-interpreter when you needed one?
Alyssa stirred in his arms, nuzzling her cheek against his bare skin. His heart danced at the contentment on her face, so different from the abject horror she’d shown in the nightmare. Cocooning her with his body, he slid a hand down her back to pull her more tightly against him and threw a leg over hers. Her heat sunk into him, spreading to his heart. The first time he’d seen this woman at the SQ station with her pink plumed pen, he hadn’t anticipated that she’d upend his entire existence.
To hell with his duty, he wasn’t giving her up. He’d find some other way to honor his ancestors. Like the dream wolf, he would die to protect Alyssa—his mate—from anyone or anything, including his own people.
“Rémi?” Alyssa opened her eyes and her forehead puckered in the cutest little frown. “Is everything okay?”
Rubbing his thumb against the furrows between her brows, he smiled. “It is now.”
She shifted in his arms and smoothed her hand over his chest, lingering on the skin above his heart. Her frown turned into a smile when she met his gaze. “I agree. Everything is perfect.”
His chest expanded with joy until he thought his ribs would rip wide open. He touched her face with the backs of his fingers, lingering on the warm dry skin of her cheeks. She was perfect. And she was his. “Sweetheart, I have to tell you something.”
Her expression turned serious. “Do you want to talk about Ellie?”
“No, I want to talk about us.”
“Oh, okay,” she said, worry shadowing her eyes.
He wanted that look gone. Tracing a fingertip along her cheekbone, he captured her lips in a heated kiss, all his passion for her bursting through. She moaned and gripped his shoulders.
When they both needed to breathe, he rolled onto his side, putting them face to face. He’d demanded honesty from her today, and now it was his turn. “You’re special to me. And I want everyone else to know it.”
Her hand stroked down his back to his hip. “What are you saying, Rémi?”
“I don’t want us to hide anymore.”
“But your community… I thought….” She let the sentence trail off.
“I don’t care about any of that. All I care about is you and me.”
Her breath hitched, and she dropped her gaze, shielding her eyes with her lashes. “But what about your family? The tribe? You don’t need any more problems.” She sucked on her bottom lip. Did she know how sexy that was? Looking up, she added, “We can keep this a secret until things quiet down. I don’t mind….”
He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Are you concerned about me or yourself?”
“You. I’m sure Gauthier will get a full report from Thompson. Besides, he’s not stupid. He knows. Either way, I don’t care. I don’t want the SQ telling me who I can and can’t see.”
Grinning, he feathered another kiss on her swollen lips. “Good. We agree. I’m a grown man. I can choose who I want to be with, and I choose you.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “You’d better be sure about this.”
He tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at him, and smiled. “I love you. I want us to be together.”
“You don’t really mean that.”
“I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true.”
Her eyes opened, her vulnerability exposed in their warm golden depths. She swallowed and smiled crookedly. “The past twenty-four hours have been crazy. Your protective instincts are in overdrive, and they’ve got you all confused. But Rémi, lust isn’t love.”
Closing the distance between their mouths
, he swirled his tongue over her lips, letting the taste of her calm him. He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, then let it slip out between his teeth, scraping it gently. She groaned and tangled her fingers in his hair. He knew what was in his heart. Did she know what was in hers?
“So, you’re saying you’re in lust with me?” he teased.
Her jaw dropped. “I… ah—” She snapped her mouth shut and glanced away.
An ache started in his chest. His brave little tigress wasn’t just closed off to the world, she was closed off to herself. Somehow he had to make her understand that letting him in wouldn’t make her weaker. It would make her stronger.
“I know you’re scared, sweetheart. But understand this: what I feel for you is not the aftereffects of an adrenaline rush. It’s not the consequence of depression, grief, or a sense of failure. It’s not even born out of a need to protect and defend you. It’s certainly not the by-product of a biological imperative to reaffirm life after a near-death experience.” He grasped her face between his hands and peered deep into her eyes. “It is the result of getting to know a courageous, intelligent, sexy woman. And the desire to be with her despite what anyone might think. To commit to her in some meaningful way. To expose myself to her, so that she will, in turn, expose herself to me. I told you I love you, because I truly do.”
She huffed out a breath. “Jesus. Aren’t the Iroquois supposed to be legendary for their stoicism?”
“I’d feel like a hypocrite if I weren’t honest with you.” He grinned. “No pressure, though.”
“Haha. I just think we shouldn’t get carried away. When things calm down, you might feel differently.”
Interesting. She’d said he might feel differently, not her. “Do you think I go around telling women I love them? If so, you’re wrong. I’ve never said these words to anyone before.”
“Really?” Her expression softened and she brushed her warm fingers on his forehead. “I… I choose you too.”
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