by C. M. Marin
But about six months ago, staying away turned out to be the hardest damn challenge I’ve ever had to face. When I learned about Alex going out on a date with some punk kid from school, my blood ran cold. It burned with such a dark jealousy that I swear I could have killed the guy just for taking my girl to the movies. I spent the night of her date waiting for her to come back to the club, and before she and Liam went back home, I told her I didn’t want her to date her fucking classmate―who was already eighteen, by the way―or anyone else for that matter. Yeah, I told her that, and I sounded batshit crazy. But the truth is, I didn’t even know why she had gone on that date. She didn’t like that guy. At least she didn’t feel for him what she felt for me. It may sound arrogant, but it is what it is. She might have never hinted at it, but her feelings for me were etched in her eyes every time she looked at me.
Shock was written all over her face when I firmly voiced my expectations when it came to her dating, but once the surprise wore off, she scowled at me. And when she told me that I had no right to tell her what she could and could not do, I did the stupidest thing I could have done. I kissed her. Like, I assaulted her lips and plunged my tongue into her mouth to find hers like a starving man. Worst part? She let me. She fucking let me kiss her, and she kissed me back. And that changed everything. That sealed my fate and hers. That girl was mine, I knew it, and she would be officially mine soon. But I still had to wait. So, after I found enough will to tear my mouth off hers, I cursed under my breath, left her there, and stayed clear of her and her delicious lips for a full week of pure hell.
“But wait,” she says and takes a sudden step back again, bringing me back to the here and now. “If you are planning on giving me the silent treatment afterward, you better think twice.”
Apparently, I’m not the only one who remembers our first kiss and its outfall. There’s no doubt she also remembers perfectly the day she barged into my room at the club, a week after our kiss.
“So, have you come out of your sullen mood yet?” she said that day after closing the door behind her, her arms crossed.
Her arms crossed over her full breasts, pushing them up, and I fought all my instincts to keep my gaze away from the spectacular view.
Hoping like hell that she’d walk back out straightaway, I growled at her, “You shouldn’t be in this fucking room, Alex.”
But I was forgetting how there had never been an ounce of submission in this girl.
“I’ll leave once we’ve talked,” she shrugged.
“Nothing to talk about.”
“I beg to differ,” she clipped out in a witty tone, not frazzled in the least by my somber mood. “But if you have nothing to say, I’ll say my piece and leave you sulking alone.”
“Alex,” I groaned.
She’s always been exasperating when she had her mind set on something. Like, fucking exhausting. Which is why she doesn’t even acknowledge my warning and starts to speak.
“So, last week you went all caveman on me out of the blue, telling me dating was a forbidden activity for me, and then you gave me a kiss. My first kiss, by the way,” she admitted easily and continued at the sight of my widened eyes that couldn’t leave her face. “Yes, dumbass. My first kiss. Even though I had no idea whether you thought of me as more than Liam’s kid sister or not, I waited. And I liked that kiss,” she added honestly. “I liked it a lot, actually, and I want another one. But what I’m not going to do is wait for you to figure out your shit while you go out and fuck any skank you can find. So, my point is, either you talk to me about what it is you want, or you don’t ever tell me again what it is that you expect me to do or not do.”
Once her mouth shut up, after she made her mind very clear, I left my bed and stalked toward her, stopping inches from her as my eyes bored into hers.
“You,” I said, the single word coming out with a trace of harshness that’s not directed at her but at the fucked-up situation. “That’s what I want. You. But I can’t have you.”
She must not have expected me to say that, because she stayed speechless for a brief moment.
“Why not?” she asked at last, her irritation lost as she breathed the question.
“Because you’re too young, and you’re Liam’s sister.”
“I’m not a kid anymore, Jayce. And it’s not like you’re thirty,” she scoffed.
A dry laugh left me. “Oh, I know that. I know you’re not a kid anymore.”
“As for Liam, I can talk to him,” she said as though she had everything figured out already. “But it’s not like it’s his business anyway.”
A snort left me. “You’re his sister, sweetheart. He’ll make it his business whether you’re okay with it or not. And he’ll kill me for even thinking about touching you.”
She rolled those beautiful eyes of hers.
“You know how things work in the club, Alex. He’s my brother, too. I can’t go behind his back. Don’t ask me that.”
“I didn’t ask you that,” she pointed out. “I’m not asking you to lie to him. If that kiss meant something to you, we’ll talk to him. If not…”
“It did,” I cut her off. “Spent the last seven fucking days thinking about it. I want you way more than I should. But even Liam’s blessing wouldn’t change the fact that you’re too young.”
I wasn’t talking about a kiss, and she knew that. I wanted more than to just kiss her, and I was pretty sure she wanted more, too. She was a virgin, that much was obvious, but she was thinking about sex. I knew it. I had seen the lust in her eyes after I broke our kiss.
“And you wouldn’t wait,” she stated with piercing sadness, lowering her eyes as though she was understanding something.
Something I didn’t even say, but I knew what it was. And that something wasn’t true.
“Don’t, Alex. Look at me,” I commanded, and she lifted her eyes just as my hands came up to frame her face. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll talk to Liam. I’ll tell him what I feel for you, and I’ll tell him that I haven’t touched another girl in months. I’ll tell him that I don’t want to look at another girl anymore, and that I’ll only look at you until I can finally make you mine.”
As I was speaking those words, I didn’t understand what was getting into me. The whole thing was surreal. And let’s face it, talking to Liam about that was suicidal. But seeing the defeat on Alex’s face, witnessing how unsure she was as to whether or not she meant everything to me pushed me into manning up and owning my shit. I had to take my responsibilities, even if that meant having the shit beat out of me by one of my brothers. Besides, Alex might have been too young for me to allow myself to go all the way with her, but every time we were in town, men turned on her. And it was time every fucker on this Earth knew that she was off-limits.
Coming out of my memories, I tell her, “I’m not planning on doing that, baby.” I take one step forward so our bodies can touch again. “I’m not planning on pushing you away. I have only one plan for after I’ve finally had you, and it’s not letting you breathe until your throat is raw from screaming my name.”
We’ve made out more than once over the past six months, but I always stopped her when our lust got too heavy and she tried to push me into caving and saying fuck to my resolution. And it pretty much killed me every time.
“What are you waiting for, then?”
What am I waiting for? Hell, I don’t even know. I’ve been wanting her for months. It’s just that I want to do the right thing here. I’ve never met a girl that meant enough for me to want to do the right thing. Alex is everything to me and seeing regret in her eyes would kill me as much as the sexual abstinence I’ve inflicted on myself.
Shining with thousands of sparkles under the blaring yet receding sun, her eyes only lose sight of mine when she takes it upon herself to make the first move. Her lips dance on mine before my head registers what’s happening. And when it does, my need for her is all that’s left in me. I want her. And as her tongue explores my mouth like she won’t get another
chance to do it, I know she wants me just as badly. There’s no more doubt in my mind. This was meant to be. Me and her, we’re right together. We always have been.
Our tongues keep tangling like they have so often over the past months, but this kiss tastes somewhat different this time. Maybe it’s because of what this kiss is about to lead us to.
Alex’s breath shortens when I carefully lay her down on the blanket spread on the sand where we’ve spent the past hour watching the sun lowering down to meet the horizon. Grabbing a handful of my shirt, she draws me closer to her, like there’s no way she can wait one more moment to be with me. And I can’t wait either. Soon, she’ll leave town to go to college in Dallas, and I’ll have to let her go. For the next four years, I’ll have to deal with the distance. I’ll have to suck it up all week, waiting for the weekend to come so I can have her. Studying to become a nurse is what she wants, so I’ll just have to roll with her absence. And I know it’ll be even more difficult to let her go after I’ve had her, but I don’t care. No matter where she goes and what she does, she’s mine. And with my hand roaming at a slow pace from her slender, soft neck to her full breasts, then down to her toned thigh, I’m about to show her just how much I’m hers, too.
“You good, J? You look tired as hell. How are you holding up?”
Ripping me out of my thoughts and regrets with a quiet voice, Nate strolls into the room and leans against the wall facing the bed.
I sigh. “Can’t sleep for shit. Fucking terrified something will go wrong, even if the doctor says she’s doing great. Complications happen,” I say. “I guess I’ll feel better once some more time has passed. Once she’s been back at the club for a while.”
He nods and goes on after a moment. “What about you and her? Liam said she’ll stay in his room until she’s fully recovered.”
Me and her. Fuck. I should answer that there hasn’t been a ‘me and her’ for more than a year, but at the same time, it feels like it isn’t something that will ever change. Somehow, it will always be me and her.
“I messed up with her,” I say instead.
Nate snorts. “That you did. But I heard that she still loves you.”
It’s not exactly what she said, but I don’t point it out. I’d rather not think back to when she was lying there in a pool of her own blood anyway.
“I was so messed-up back then, you know? So fucking terrified of losing her, too. I wanted her as far away from our shit as possible.”
“Which was kind of stupid since her brother was here,” he retorts, not weighing his words.
I groan. “I just told you I was messed-up. But the truth is, now I can’t decide whether she’d be safer her or anywhere else. Jesus, Nate. She hasn’t been here three weeks, and she’s lying in a fucking hospital bed after nearly dying.”
“Means you won’t try to fix things up with her?” he probes.
I blow out a breath, and I don’t know if I’m more exasperated with his questions or with myself for not having a clue about what the hell I want.
I finally say, “Not sure she’d want anything fixed up anyway. But now what she needs is to rest and recover properly. Any other shit can wait. In the meantime, I’ll have her in sight as much as fucking possible.”
The bright of her living in Twican again is that I won’t have to ride several hours to get my eyes on her. But it also means that this time, she’ll know I’m watching her. And despite what she said to me when she thought she was about to die, something tells me that she won’t be too happy with that.
Chapter 7
Alexia
“You’re kidding. No, she didn’t do that,” I laugh, only wincing slightly at the subtle stinging pain that lances through my wound that’s still healing.
“I swear to God, she did. Like, I felt her fucking teeth fucking digging into my cock. Who does that? Seriously, who does that kind of shit? I mean, you just don’t do that shit. Ever!”
Ben and his problems. At least, I’m entertained. A week has passed since the shooting, and now that the shock of what happened has started to fade, my state of mind allows me to laugh again, and it even allows me to joke about how boredom seems as dangerous as bullets at this point. I’m pretty sure that staring at these white walls all day is going to kill me soon. It’s not that I’m alone at all, though, because if Liam and Jayce aren’t here with me all worried, there’s another Chaser keeping me company. But I’ve been sick of this place for a while.
It’s Ben who is keeping me company right now. He looks comfortable slouched in a chair, his arms crossed over his chest and his feet propped up on the bed. He’s also doing a really great job of keeping my mind off my growing annoyance. But then again, it’s Ben, so I’m not surprised. He’s spent the past hour relating anecdotes about things I’ve missed while I have been away from Twican.
“But did she bite hard?”
I have no idea why I’m asking. It must be the boredom. That’s the only explanation.
“Believe me, love, I pushed her carnivorous mouth away from my dick before I could find out if she would have. I swear some people aren’t right in their head. It’s been what… eight months, and I can still feel her teeth on me, you know?”
I laugh some more at the horrified look on his face as he remembers that moment.
“What’s so funny? Share,” Liam drawls as a relaxed gait brings him to my bed.
I guess I laughed too hard to hear the door opening.
“Ben is helping me catch up on what all I missed,” I say as I let him place a kiss on my forehead. “He was just telling me about the dick-biting girl.”
“I sure don’t want to have that mouth on my cock,” my brother shudders exaggeratedly.
I mock a gagging sound. “I didn’t need that image in my head, thanks a lot.”
“How are you feeling?”
My head snaps to the door at Jayce’s deep, serious drawl. I haven’t noticed his presence, but I’m not surprised he’s back, too.
“Good,” I answer curtly.
Jayce and I haven’t talked much since I woke up. Well, we haven’t talked at all, really. Then again, I find it difficult to have a conversation with someone who doesn’t stay in the room unless there’s someone with us. He’s good at avoiding being alone with me. Very good. And it’s not like he’s subtle about it. Most of the time, it’s him and Liam staying in here with me, and when Liam leaves the room for whatever reason―even when he doesn’t actually leave the room but to go to the damn bathroom―Jayce leaves as well and sends someone else to keep an eye on me. Maybe he thinks that asking someone to join him would be too obvious.
Anyway, his ridiculous behavior has started to piss me off ever since I gathered back enough strength to be pissed. I’m also pissed because my traitorous body still doesn’t seem to have gotten the fact that it should hate the guy like my head does. Instead, it still reacts with stupid flips in my belly and heat in my lower parts when he’s around. Just now, seeing him leaning against the wall beside the door, his hands lazily digging into the pocket of his dark jeans, is enough to make me want him. That actually pisses me off more than being held captive in this hospital. And that’s why I decided that it would be a one-word answer every time he asks me something. His questions are always the same anyway. How are you feeling? and Are you hungry? Or any variation of those questions. Same difference.
“Have you eaten enough for lunch? I can get you something.”
And sometimes, both questions come in a row.
“I’ve eaten enough.”
More than one word, I agree.
“Nice cake for dessert, too,” Ben says, and I grin at him. “A nice nurse brought me a huge piece,” he brags.
When the nurse came in while I was eating, simply checking in on me, Ben threw his puppy-dog eyes her way and asked her if there was a way for him to get a piece of the cake I got for dessert. And as no one―no woman, at least―has ever been able to say no to those eyes and cute dimples of his, the nurse came back five min
utes later with a large piece of that delicious chocolate cake.
“Did you bang her?” Liam smirks.
“I didn’t, but she was hot for a MILF.”
My brother snickers. “Heard that you haven’t been fucking much lately. And you’ve been very picky.”
I don’t know what that is about, but Ben’s playfulness vanishes in a flash as he glares at Liam. And Jayce shoots his own glare, though it’s directed at Ben.
Now I want to know what this is about. My stomach threatens to send my lunch back up as a thought crosses my mind. Are Ben and Jayce fucking the same girl? No, that doesn’t make sense. Ben isn’t even the settling type. Maybe he is now. God, do they both have feelings for the same girl?
No, stop. This is none of my business. But I can’t help wondering. Only thinking about Jayce with someone else is making me sick, so thinking about him falling for someone else… I know I can’t allow myself to go there, but I still can’t help wondering. I can’t help going back to that day at the bookstore, when he told me he loved me. I didn’t dream that. I know he said it, but maybe he didn’t mean it.
“Hey, you good?”
Liam cuts off my thoughts, and I look up at his eyes as they narrow on me with concern. That’s what brings me to realize that I’ve started bristling a little at the unwelcome thought of Jayce with a girl. Jayce, who has left his spot against the wall and is walking his way to me, worry also darkening his features. My mouth opens, but the reassuring words I had planned to speak die on my tongue when the door opens.
“Hey… Hi everyone,” Erin says with a small smile.
We’ve spoken more than a couple of times this past week. She’s a soon-to-be nurse doing her last internship here in Twican before graduation, and it turns out that we’ll be working together for two months or so when I can finally start my new job in this very hospital. I should have started next Monday, but things have been sort of put on hold lately, for obvious reasons.