by C. M. Marin
He’s been cracking his knuckles and waiting impatiently to make them pay, just as I have.
“Grant called me straight after he got wind of the shooting and said he’ll be behind us once we have all the proof we need to go out for blood,” Nate announces.
That’s a very good thing. Not that I’m surprised. Grant is loyal to Nate just like his father was loyal to mine and Isaac. He helped us take down Rod when the shit with Camryn went down, and if there’s one charter we can trust blindly, it’s his.
“What about the lockdown? Do we put one or not? What about families?” Liam asks.
“Fiona and the kids are staying here for a while,” Brent says. “Got a bad feeling about all this. They fucking shot us in the damn main street, with stores and coffee shops everywhere. They care less than Rod did about hurting innocent civilians, especially if they don’t get their way. And if they can’t come near us again because we don’t show ourselves in town enough, they could get impatient and try to get us out by targeting our families. Not taking that risk with Fi and the kids.”
“Melvin is keeping Max here, too,” Cody adds.
Melvin and his little brother Max have been living in Camryn’s childhood home since he got him back a month ago. Apparently, he also thought Max would be safer at the club.
“Members don’t split,” Nate states. “There’s no going back home until further notice. As for the families, we know Alex was collateral damage, but like Brent, I’m keeping Cam here with me. I’ll let everyone know it’s up to them to decide what to do. I’m personally not taking any risks.”
I knew Nate wouldn’t have it any other way, but I’m relieved to hear it anyway. Knowing Cam would be alone and a thirty-minute drive from us isn’t something I could have dealt with. I’m worried enough as it is about Alex. Not that she’s staying anywhere but right here at the club. If I had a say, I would have put her in my room. But that would have been pushing it a little. She got what she wanted yesterday and was released from the hospital this morning. She still thinks she’ll go back to her place once she’s fully recovered, but she doesn’t know yet that won’t be happening. She’s not leaving these walls until we’ve dealt with every last Spider once and for all. Going through the hell of seeing her lying on the fucking ground, a pool of her own blood growing under her paling body? Never going to happen again. I’m still seeing that scene every single time I close my eyes. The only time I’m not visualizing that hellish image of her slowly dying in my arms is when I have my eyes on her. Moving. Breathing.
It feels so good to have her back here. It feels right. The problem is the hatred she burns a hole into my head with every time she’s been looking at me the past few days. That’s probably why she hasn’t left Liam’s room since she got here six hours ago. Liam says she’s doing just fine, but it’s not enough. But it’s not like I can barge into her room and watch her like some creep. Besides, that wouldn’t help me avoid being alone with her. Quite the opposite. Basically, I think it’s for the best that we don’t talk to each other, but I still want my eyes on her as much as possible. And that is going to be a challenge if she does all she can to be around me as little as possible. But she’ll get tired of it eventually. She never liked being locked up for too long.
Besides, she doesn’t really hate me. What she said to me that day is still resonating in my head every time the unwanted memory resurfaces.
You are the love of my life.
I know those words weren’t a dream. I heard them. It doesn’t get easier to believe that she pronounced them, but she did. It’s still hard to believe that she doesn’t hate me for hurting her. I was convinced that I was only doing what I had to do to protect her. She had the right to live a happy, safe life, and I was giving her just that by pushing her away. I did this for her. I did this so she wouldn’t end up hurt, or worse. And as much as it broke my heart to admit it, I was convinced that she’d be happier in a life without the bullshit of the club. A life without me. Maybe a life with someone else. I itched to kill someone with my bare hands just thinking about that happening, but there was not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that letting her go was the right thing to do.
Now? Hell, all I know is that things aren’t as clear as they used to be in my messed-up head. My thoughts are blurry, torn between wanting my girl as far away as possible from this life and as close as possible to me.
Chapter 9
Alexia
“You should be resting, dammit.”
The unnecessary barking belongs to Jayce, and I don’t need to look up from my computer to know it’s directed at me. His obsession with me resting got old about a week ago, only a couple of days after I was released from the hospital. Basically, as soon as I quit hiding myself in Liam’s room because it started to feel unbearably oppressive. But even though Jayce clearly still wants to avoid being alone with me―which isn’t difficult since even though the club isn’t on lockdown, the place is packed with members and their families twenty-four-seven―he doesn’t seem to even think about getting off my back, acting like an overprotective father, and that pisses me off. Now, I almost regret those days at the hospital where the only questions he addressed to me were about food and how I was feeling.
The only bright side of being pissed off is that most of the time, it keeps the embarrassment occasionally brought up by the reminder of what we said to each other while I was lying in his arms, and on my way to losing every drop of blood in me, dormant.
I just ignore him. Sometimes it works, and he walks away with a string of grunted curses.
Not tonight, apparently.
“I hope that’s not fucking liquor you’re drinking!” he adds, the sound of his voice telling me that he’s moving closer to me.
Just wonderful.
“You should know by now that I don’t care about your opinion,” I calmly quip back even though his footsteps loudly stomp toward me.
I definitely don’t acknowledge his bossy comment about what’s in my glass, and I certainly don’t bother lifting my gaze from my laptop. Not that I’ve been writing a hell of a lot, because that damn writer’s block is stronger than ever, but he doesn’t need to know that.
After striding toward me like a madman, he snatches my glass from the coffee table, lifts it to his nose and smells the liquid filling half of it. Witnessing his crazy behavior is far from surprising to me, but I still gawk at him in outrage.
Of course, he ignores me.
God, he’s infuriating. Who does he think he is? My damn caretaker?
That sarcastic question has been swirling in my head for a week, and I’m finally about to voice it in a particularly clashing tone when the front door is slammed open just as Liam’s booming voice rings out in the room.
“Alex!”
He doesn’t look around to find me, his head bowed as he helps a hobbling Melvin walk.
“Jesus, what happened?” I ask as everyone’s attention has darted to them.
After discarding my laptop beside me on the couch, I hurriedly push up to my feet even though the rushed movement turns out to be a bit laborious. I still deal with a slight pain when I attempt to move too fast.
“He got knifed in his thigh,” Liam answers as he struggles a bit to get Melvin to move forward to the nearest couch.
I meet them there just as Melvin slumps on it, his face twisting into a grimace indicating that pain is shooting through his wounded thigh. What’s weird is that his jeans are intact. No sign of the wound whatsoever, if not for the blood that soaks the fabric and makes it stick to his skin.
“Spiders?” Nate asks.
He must have heard us all shuffling around from upstairs, because he and Camryn went to their room a while back. Now all the guys have gathered around their fairly new member. All on high alert.
“Nope,” Liam grins, and everyone’s eyebrows furrow.
Melvin answers Nate through his teeth clenched with pain. “I didn’t know she was there with her husband.”
After a
fleeting second of silence caused by everyone’s surprise to hearing that answer, Ben’s laugh booms around us.
Jesus, these boys. Since Melvin doesn’t give away any signs of near death, I can’t help but smile.
“Unfortunately, you can never know that. Occupational hazard,” Ben says once he gets his laughter under control. “Did you at least get to fuck her?”
“No,” he groans as Lilly arrives with the first-aid kit.
“He just got a blowjob, but the wife didn’t have time to get him off,” Liam muses. “He had his pants down when the husband showed up,” he laughs. “The guy tried to slice his dick.”
That’s why his jeans haven’t been damaged.
“Never telling you shit again,” Melvin mutters while everyone standing around is well on their way to pissing themselves laughing.
Even Blane has cracked a grin that almost resembles a smile.
“You’re going to have to get your pants down if you want me to have a proper look at this,” I tell Melvin.
“Twice in a night, bro!” Ben laughs. “Lucky fucker.”
“Shut your mouth, dickhead.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Liam and Jayce both growl in unison at Ben’s comment, and I roll my eyes as Ben laughs some more. In the meantime, Melvin does the arduous job of pulling his jeans down and reveals a bloody slashed upper thigh.
“It’s probably going to sting a bit,” I warn him as I soak a piece of gauze with antiseptic. “But I need to see properly to know whether you’re good for a trip to the hospital.”
He grunts a curse the moment the gauze touches his exposed flesh, the antiseptic mercilessly seeping into the cut.
“It’s not deep enough for the blade to have hit a nerve, so I can sew you myself. It’ll most likely leave a scar though, whether it’s done by me or a doctor,” I tell him.
“Do it.”
“Don’t worry, chicks dig scars,” Ben comments as if reassuring him, and I get busy preparing everything I need to fix him up.
“Doesn’t matter,” he grumbles. “I’ll stick to club whores from now on anyway. Don’t want to end up with my dick cut off or blown up. I’m too fucking young.”
“Where did it happen?” Cody asks.
“Strip club,” Liam answers because Melvin is too busy wincing in pain every time the needle digs through his flesh.
Ben snorts. “The dumbass brings his wife to a strip club and is surprised she cheats on him? Seriously? Who could blame her for wanting to have her own little fun? I’ll say it again: dumbass.”
“On those wise words, I’ll get back to my girl,” Nate says.
“Almost done,” I promise Melvin.
“Thank fuck. That shit hurts.”
“Give Doc a call first thing tomorrow morning. He’ll get you some antibiotics. And you should also ask him to do a blood test, just in case.”
“Awesome,” he groans.
“Good as new,” I tell him after a few more seconds of work. “Well, almost. You need to go easy on your leg until I can remove the stitches. No riding, and no working out allowed. You’ll have a hard time walking for a few days anyway. Painkillers can help. Remember to call Doc tomorrow. Antibiotics will prevent an infection from developing. You never know what filth that blade dragged around.”
“Yep, definitely sticking to club whores,” he states flatly after listening to my advice intently.
Again, Ben laughs, this time patting his shoulder. “Tomorrow is a brand-new day, bro. A brand-new day,” he chuckles. “Let’s have a drink. I’ll get them,” he grins, still amused by the situation as he takes off to the bar.
I clean up my mess and close the first-aid kit before going to put it back in place behind the bar. Then, I discard the bloody gauze into the trashcan and wash my hands.
When I’m done and lift my eyes from the faucet, Jayce is right there, watching me.
“You should go to bed now, it’s almost midnight.”
I blink twice at him. Is he for real right now?
When I went back to being twelve years old, I don’t know. Deciding that the best option I have at this point is to ignore his ridiculous advice―that sounded more like a command―I go back to the couch I was sitting on peacefully, trying to write, before he interrupted me. But I’m just about to sit back down when a shadow falls over me, letting me know that he’s followed me.
“You know, you should find yourself a hobby if you’re bored. Because seeing your face all the time started to get old and piss me off a while back,” I inform him, acting bored as I’m about to place my computer back onto my lap.
“You should know by now that I don’t care about your opinion,” he proudly borrows the words I tossed at him earlier, and my computer is forgotten when I catch the smug smile pulling up one corner of his lips.
My next move is totally out of my control. I swear. My abandoned drink is in my hand and my hand is splashing the remaining coke in Jayce’s face within a couple of seconds.
God, that sensation of profound satisfaction… Almost strong enough to build an orgasm in me.
“What the fuck!” he barks, his eyes widening in stupefaction.
“Sorry,” I muse, but my tone holds nothing apologetic. “That was just in case you weren’t entirely sure it wasn’t liquor. Now, I’m going to go have a piece of cake, if that’s allowed around here at such an ungodly hour. And you should go take a shower because soda is all over your shirt,” I tell him, as if he hadn’t noticed.
Careful not to touch him, I walk away and toward the kitchen as Ben’s laughs echoes in the room.
“Shut it,” Jayce growls.
“Sure, VP,” he muses as I finally enter the kitchen.
“How’s our boy?” Lilly asks me as she’s leaning against the counter, drinking some water.
Just like Cody before her, she’s gotten close to Melvin over the past few months. They’ve both gotten close to Max, too. Because Lilly had to run out of town all those years ago to protect herself and Camryn from the former president of the Spiders, she and Cody never got the chance to have children. You just have to catch a glimpse of her with Melvin and Max to understand that she’s grown to love them like her own.
I open the fridge and take out a small piece of cake.
“He’ll survive,” I smile before taking a huge bite of my cake. This thing is delicious. Cam’s mom taught her well. “Just remind him to call Doc tomorrow. He needs to get antibiotics, but those guys all tend to think that they’re superhuman or something,” I say around a mouthful.
“Oh, you don’t have to tell me about that,” she agrees. “I’ll call Doc myself if I have to,” she adds. “Okay, I’m off to bed. Have a good night, Alex.”
“Good night.”
She leaves me to the quiet kitchen, and I take my sweet time finishing my piece of cake. That’s the only way I won’t grab another one.
For a few minutes, I enjoy the silence. Even though I wish I could go back to my place, I can’t deny that it feels good to be back at the club. Getting to be part of it again makes me feel home for the first time in a very long time. But it doesn’t mean I’m not on a mission to convince Liam to let me move back to my apartment. All the rooms are occupied since most of the members’ families are staying here, and sharing a room with my brother is annoying. For starters, he has to sleep on his couch and can’t take any girl back to his room. But that’s a problem for another day because it’s midnight and sleepiness has started to kick in. Liam rarely sleeps before 2am, so I’ll run a bath and relax before going to bed, especially since I have to wake up early tomorrow.
Most of the guys are still idling around when I cross the main room to climb up the stairs, but Jayce is nowhere to be seen.
Thank God.
Once I’ve picked up some yoga pants and a shirt to sleep in―another reason why I need to get back to my place ASAP; because I’ve always been more comfortable sleeping in just my panties and a loose top―I go straight to the bathroom.
&n
bsp; “Damn!” I blurt out, my steps coming to an abrupt stop as I startle. But I quickly recover from the surprise. “What the hell are you doing here? When I said you should go take a shower, I meant in your own damn bathroom!”
“Bathroom renovation,” Jayce explains shortly but without a drop of his previous irritation.
And also, without bothering to cover himself up. He even leans against the wall as though we’re having a banal conversation despite his total nakedness.
My chest fills with pride for being able to keep my gaze away from the semi-erect length between his legs and the rock-hard abs I had a forced glimpse at when I entered Liam’s bathroom. But considering the infuriating smirk that has found a place on his lips, he somehow knows that my eyes are fighting their instincts in the hardest battle.
The dick has made it his mission to avoid being alone with me since I woke up, most likely because he dreads the very thought of talking about anything regarding our relationship, and now he’s smirking like he’s pleased his body has still an effect on me.
“Hurry, I want to take a bath,” I command not very nicely and turn around.
“Don’t hurt yourself running off. I don’t remember ever intimidating you.”
“And I’ve seen more intimidating since,” I shoot back to his exasperating cockiness, once again proud of myself for being able to make my brain work so quickly to find the lie.
Because my words couldn’t be further from the truth. But he doesn’t deserve to know that. The truth is that Jayce’s body is the only one I’ve ever seen naked.
It took me as long as an entire year to finally get the memo that Jayce no longer wanted me. And as weird as it felt, I gave dating a chance again. Getting ready to meet with a friend of a friend was far from exciting, but I sucked it up and went anyway. We saw each other for a handful of dates after the first one, because Malcom was nice, but I quickly put a stop to it when he asked about having a last drink at his place. That made me envision the possibility of going a step further with him, and I felt queasy when Jayce’s face popped up in my head. I realized that I never wanted any of those dates to end up at my or his place because the prospect of spending the night with him didn’t appeal to me. And I sure as hell didn’t want to force myself. I also realized that I had probably agreed to see him because he came from a few miles away from Twican even though he now lived in Dallas. Somehow, it made me feel closer to home. Totally fucked-up, I’m aware. The moral of the story is, I might have understood that Jayce was done with me, but it didn’t mean I was done with him. Pathetic as it sounds. Jayce was still there, owning my heart and my body. I’ve never felt an ounce of the attraction I feel toward Jayce toward anyone else. But he doesn’t deserve to know that either.