“All right, I’ll admit that was a bit awkward—”
“Awkward? Awkward? It was fucking humiliating. You fooled no one, Harris, but I figured you did deserve that post, so I jumped in with both feet and took the fall for you.”
“Hey, you know how nervous I was. I wasn’t thinking straight. Why the fuck did you think I wanted that promotion so much? It’s for our future, Hettie. Our future. How would it have looked had I said, oh man, you have no idea how much I want that, but I need that promotion check to make that happen?”
Almost instantly I felt the pent-up anger drain from the vice-like grip in my head. It was like a slow trickle down a drain. He thought his explanation made his degrading behavior from earlier more acceptable. Walking toward me, Harris smiled warmly. “We’re on our way, baby,” he said, widening his eyes excitedly as he slipped his hand around my waist.
“Do you know how amazing it is to be invited to one of the management’s golfing weekends?” I didn’t but I had the feeling I was about to find out. And I was right. Forty-five minutes later I was still finding out.
Yawning, I stretched my arms above my head. I wasn’t bored he’d gotten what he deserved, I was bored about how little his plans seemed to include our home and family. With everything he was telling me, there wasn’t one reference to what would happen for us next.
“Sorry, I need to go to bed. I’m beat. I have a lesson plan to prepare in the morning and some papers to mark for the test one of my sets did today. Congratulations on your promotion, Harris, you truly deserve it.”
Harris bent down, pecked my lips and turned to the drinks cabinet. “I’m too buzzed to sleep, I think I’m gonna sit here and catch up on the game, if that’s okay?”
“Sure, see you in the morning,” I said, feeling relieved he didn’t want to have sex with me. I’d have turned him down and that would have been another fight. Heading to get ready for bed, my mind flitted over what I had to do before school. By the time I was settled under the comforter my mind was turning over all the events of the past few months with Harris.
We had a decent group of young professional friends. Five couples who all had children, only myself and Gill didn’t have any. I was the only one of the seven women who was yet to get married.
Five weddings I’d been to since we’d known them, Carolina and Marc were already married when I met her. All the girls had been my friends before they married and Harris was accepted into the group. He became friends with their husbands by default. Mulling over the past couple of years made me broody and miserable. I hadn’t been looking forward to a weekend away with the girls the following weekend because I usually hated leaving Harris on his own, but I suddenly felt the break would do the both of us the world of good.
For the third time that day I found a vivid image of Gray floating through my mind, and much like the earlier days after he’d gone, a flashback of our last night together swamped me, drowning out all thoughts and feelings about Harris.
Chapter 3
Daydreaming ~ Hettie
2005
Dropping his sweaty forehead to mine, he stared intensely into my eyes but I quickly looked away as he slid back inside me. “Don’t cry, Hettie. Don’t…” He whispered before taking a deep breath. I felt his chest expand all the way down to his chiseled abs, the pressure as he inhaled pushing me further into the mattress.
Cradling my head between his hands he continued to give me the same sad look as he exhaled slowly. So controlled. Glancing up to meet his sad, brown eyes again, a wave of emotion swamped me. I swallowed roughly, trying to hold onto the sob that wanted to slip free past the lump in my throat. I bit my lip and I gave him the tiniest nod. I knew what he was trying to warn me about, but I’d already fallen.
I’d tried my hardest not to, God knows how I’d tried, but when you met someone that was just so easy and fun to be with, someone that looked and acted like Gray, it was practically an impossibility. It was too late. My feelings were well and truly formed about the beautiful college boy who’d stolen my heart five weeks before I finished college.
Gray was heading back to England a couple of days from then, and I knew I’d probably never see him again. Fighting back my feelings, I raised my chin to bring his lips back to mine. The seductive, sensual kiss we shared was slow, gentle and lingering, a kiss not devoid of feelings on either side.
Shifting on top of me, our bodies still joined, his unhappy smile still lifted his cheeks as he bent to kiss my nose with affection. “We’ve had a blast, eh? These past five weeks have been amazing. I’ll never forget my time here, or you, Hettie.” His tone was full of regret. I watched his tongue trace his lips while I stared back wondering if he really meant what he just said and what else he was thinking at that moment.
We’d agreed from the moment we’d given in to our undeniably explosive sexual chemistry and magnetic attraction, that this would be a no-strings affair. Gray knew his time in the US was short. Studying in Miami on a student visa, his time was almost up.
Sometimes he worried about us spending so much time together, but neither of us could help it. There was no future for us. When he’d finished his MSc in Sound Engineering, it fulfilled his father’s wishes for him to have a solid career under his belt before having a couple of years off to play with his band.
Gray had honored his part of the agreement. In return, his father held up his end by supporting Gray’s ongoing attempts to make music his life. His band, CrAved, had been making headway on the music scene prior to their hiatus, so even though we’d been getting closer, he’d always been honest about his future. I had gone into our fling with my eyes wide open, knowing we were going nowhere.
Pulling back to the tip, he angled his hips and sunk his length deep inside me. In the clammy Florida heat our sweaty, damp bodies fit together in exactly the right way. I’d been with a couple of guys before him, but I had never felt anything like the physical connection we had. “You’re so beautiful, even more when I’m inside you like this,” he murmured, rocking his hips against me and sliding a little deeper.
His gorgeous hands…correction, his gorgeous, very talented, smooth hands, had traced every square inch of my body. His callused fingertips roamed aimlessly, traced teasingly, explored intricately, and finally stroked me in just the right way. His sensual touch lit the fuse and sent ripples of delight to every nerve cell I possessed.
Electrical charges ran through me. They made my scalp tingle and my toes curl. He kissed me again, more urgently than before. His tongue begged against my lips, my mouth reacting instantly to accept his hot, exploring tongue. His danced around mine, slowly at first, until mine reacted—a frantic, passionate duel between us ignited the fire that spread from one to the other, fueling our movements to synchronize.
Deep.
Pain.
Frustration.
Want.
Some of the feelings I felt as I slapped my hands on his ass cheeks and tried to pull him closer. It wasn’t working. Pushing his shoulders, he knew instinctively what I wanted and flipped me over until I was on top. A naughty grin appeared on his face. His beautiful smile and those captivating, twinkling eyes held me enthralled, mesmerized by the weight of his stare as they penetrated my defenses and stole my heart.
I sat up straight, impaled onto him. Swallowing back my feelings I took every inch of him deep and I began rolling my hips gently. Gray wet his plump, red lips with his tongue. His lust-filled eyes stared intensely into the locked gaze I was commanding from him. I began to move faster. His hands felt their way across my body immediately.
Teasing me, he traced his fingers up from my hips to my breasts, grabbing them firmly, kneading them, as he pinched and rolled my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. Releasing my grip to stretch his hands flat, he smoothed them up to my shoulders and palmed his way down my outer arms.
Shivers of wanton delight shot through me, tiny exciting explosions of pleasure detonating as each erogen
ous zone was passed. The nerves in my spine tingled from the pleasure building inside me. Reading my body that he’d become so familiar with over our weeks together, Gray reached up and pulled my head down toward his neck. He grabbed a fistful of hair with one hand and slapped my ass with the other.
Digging his heels into the bed, his hips began to move under me, thrusting harder and faster then slow and sensual. He bit my neck, marking me, sending thrills of desire for more running through me. It felt so good. He drove his length deeper, his pace steady at first, followed by a rapid onslaught of relentless fucking. His grip on my hips got tighter, possessive, desperate.
My whole body quivered on the edge of my orgasm as a scream rose to my throat. When the build-up overflowed I shuddered helplessly as I came. Hard. The growing buzz of my orgasm that had rumbled in the background burst like a bubble, tearing through me like an avalanche of euphoric pleasure. It made me scream his name from my lips.
Certain forbidden words forced their way to my lips but I held back. They were almost aired, but I knew it would have been unfair to voice them. I pressed my lips tightly together as another wave of emotion threatened to surface. I fought against it on every level because I couldn’t show my hand.
When he withdrew from me as our passion ebbed, the empty feeling inside almost made me cry out in protest. Within seconds, surprise suppressed my feelings when Gray flipped me over onto my belly and hauled my hips up in the air. “You okay, baby?” he asked, his voice laced with concern. I murmured my affirmation that I was, and a second later his tongue seared into my entrance from behind.
“Fuck. So sweet,” he muttered, his tongue and lips devouring my whole outer lips and clitoris. “Gonna miss this,” he groaned, and my heart stuttered as tears brimmed in my eyes at his admittance. Seconds later his mouth was replaced with his thick, ridged cock as he stroked it up and down my wet slit before sinking deep inside. Our breaths hitched in unison. “Fuck,” we said.
Reaching forward he swept my hair up into a ponytail and gripped it tightly, turning my head to the side. His mouth began to explore the nape of my neck, licking around to the side and up toward my ear—my whole body was covered in goosebumps. His technique was unhurried and sensual. Shivers ran down my spine while fire ran through my veins.
My pussy pulsed and clenched in delight at his leisurely attention. A soft bite followed by a suck propelled another charge of volts through my body, my hips undulating for his attention down where we were joined together. “Fuck me,” I moaned. He bit me harder before sliding his mouth to my ear and dipping his wet tongue inside. I almost came. Hints of another orgasm threatened with his talented mouth on me.
“Say please,” he commanded with a tighter tug of my hair as his mouth continued its pleasurable assault on my neck.
“Please, fuck me, Gray,” I begged as he pulled back with his hips, tugged my head all the way back by my hair and sunk his tongue deep into my mouth and his dick in my pussy simultaneously. I moaned loudly into his mouth and he snickered in response.
“You love when I do that, don’t you?” he said as he broke our kiss.
“God, yeah,” I muttered wistfully. “Harder,” I demanded, my hips trying to fuck him as I became more frustrated for his cock.
Gray kissed his way down my spine, let go of my hair and grabbed my hips. His fingertips dug into my flesh as his own needs began to take over. A relentless onslaught of need poured from him as he fucked me hard and fast. Just the way I liked it. I felt my pussy clench with the build of another release. “Do it,” he urged, the words pushing me over the edge to a delighted grunt from him. White light burst behind my eyelids as my eyes squeezed tightly closed.
“You squeeze my dick so tight, baby, it’s fucking awesome. Best sex ever.” It was the best sex for me too, but his words both delighted and destroyed me. This is almost over. We’re almost over. As my thoughts consumed me, his seed flooded into my body while my tears rolled down my face.
My mind wandered in thought about how we got here. Gray was the only boy I’d had sex with without a condom. I was on the pill and always paranoid about safe sex, until him. From the very first time we’d found ourselves alone we’d tugged desperately at each other’s clothing. Our lips fused in passion, tongues dueling while the buttons of my silk blouse flew around the room, hitting the floor like shrapnel.
Our heavy, uneven breathing sounded ragged as we fought for air. We couldn’t stop tasting each other as we’d climbed the stairs to my room. We’d barely made it inside the dorm room before I’d tugged at his zipper. His hand had fumbled under my hem, his fingers sliding with precision to the sweet spot inside my panties.
Two hours later we were laid out flat on the floor having never made it to the bed that first time. Both of us were heaving in unison, our uneven, hungry gulps for air rendering us speechless. Soaked in sweat from our frantic need to pleasure each other, Gray had grinned sexily and kissed the tip of my nose. After that first time, condoms never even figured into our thoughts. Gray knew I had used protection with others, and I knew he had always done so as well. The sensation of skin on skin between us was too good and barely enough to satisfy our needs.
“You up for breakfast tomorrow?” he asked, dragging me out of my daydream.
“Today, you mean? Sure. A girl always has to eat.”
“I like eating you,” he said nonchalantly. I swatted his arm playfully.
“What? I do. You taste fucking awesome. In fact, if I didn’t have to meet with Clem at 9:00 am I’d happily bury my head between your legs and stay there until I drowned in your cum.” I clenched my thighs together. As exhausted as I was, his dirty talking comment still affected me.
“Why do you talk dirty all the time?”
“It’s how I feel, how you make me feel…I guess I’m just being honest, don’t you like it?”
“I’ve just never had a—”
“Stop.” Positioning himself with his head on his hand and perched up on his elbow he stared into my eyes with an angry expression.
“I don’t want to know about other guys you’ve been with.”
“Is that jealousy I hear?” I asked. My heart beating faster, excited that he was reacting to my past.
“Nah, don’t have that in me. I’ve just spent the last two hours making a fucking awesome memory. Don’t ruin it.”
I turned my head to the side and stared up at the window.
“In a couple of years, it’ll be forgotten,” I stated, feeling my heart squeeze tight.
“Nah, not this. I know we’re going our separate ways, and it’s for the best, but I’ll remember you, Hettie.”
“Well, I probably won’t remember you. When I meet my ‘one’ everything else will fade,” I teased.
“You trying to push my buttons?”
“You think?”
“I didn’t, but I do now,” he said, sweeping his hand leisurely up my body to reach my head. Leaning in, he brushed the hair on my forehead away and pressed his lips to it. “You’re important to me, Hettie. Don’t think that you mean nothing to me. I want you to know that. I know we were keeping it light, but you’re awesome. Being with someone for five weeks is a big deal for me.”
“When you’re a big star playing gigs all the time, there will be loads of women falling at your feet, Gray. You’ll soon forget me,” I said, fishing for something to cling to.
“You make it sound like it’s inevitable.”
“It is…on both counts. You are an incredibly hot man, a musician, and you play guitar in a rock band. Rock bands equal women losing panties.”
“Playing in the band isn’t about the groupies or even the travel, Hettie. It’s about making music my way, in my own good time.”
“And I get that, but it doesn’t mean you won’t be getting laid every day.”
“Does that bother you?”
“What?”
“The thought of me getting laid every day?”
It did
but I couldn’t let it ruin our last two days together. “Nope, what you do once you leave here is your business.”
“Just like that, huh?”
“It’s what we both wanted, right?” I swallowed hard while he thought for a moment and my heart stilled in my chest waiting for him to say it wasn’t so.
“It is,” he answered firmly. My heart ached at the finality of his words.
I slid my hand up his arm to his face and held it there. “This…here with you, it’s been beautiful. It felt like it was meant to be. Knowing you has been so…easy…effortless…awesome. We’re friends, right? Can’t have too many of those.”
A smile raised his cheeks and creased the skin around his eyes. He looked stunningly handsome. I grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled his face closer. He didn’t resist and took my lips as readily as I offered them.
Breaking our passionate kiss left me a little breathless and he smiled at the effect he’d had. “I don’t know what’s out there for you, Hettie, but you deserve the best life can give you, baby. Despite what you think, I’ll carry these five weeks with me always.”
Without replying, I turned away from him. I felt him rise from the bed and make his way to the bathroom. A few moments later he came back with a warm, wet washcloth and a warm, fluffy towel from my towel rack.
“Open your legs for me,” he said softly, as he knelt beside me and tapped one thigh with the back of his hand. Gray always did the one thing neither of the other two boys had ever done for me. He always ensured my comfort after we’d had sex.
“I can do that,” I murmured, reaching to take the cloth from his hand as I found it weird for him to do it.
Gray jerked it away. “No. Please, let me. I want to do this for you.” Biting my lip as my eyes locked into his stare, I said nothing and did what he asked. Knowing he was leaving, my emotions turned to hurt as I watched him pay careful attention to what he was doing. Although I fought my emotions, the tears fell anyway.
Notes On Love Page 3