We simply have to get through this next fight against Redman.
Unlocking the front door, I walk into Reed’s place. Just like Reed’s house in Atlanta, this is all open—the living room, kitchen, and dining room are actually one huge room. One wall is strictly made of a glass that has one hell of a view of the Las Vegas stip. In one of the corners, he had a tree put up. I was so sad to leave my family around Christmas and didn’t even want to put up my tree. It’s something Mom and I always did. Reed had to know I still wanted one. And that guy says he’s not a romantic.
I linger, looking at the tree when I spot a set of spiral staircases to my left. I go up to see the most bad-ass master bedroom ever. Like downstairs, one wall is all glass, giving the same view of the strip. On the opposite side, there is a king-sized bed with a gray down comforter on it and a black blanket on the end. He had about a million pillows on the bed and pictures all over the dressers—all of him and me over the years, and even ones that were taken the last two months. And behind one is a box of Milk Duds. I pick it up and open them, popping one in my mouth. I take my phone out of my back pocket, sending a thank you text to Laura for doing all this.
Me: Thanks so much, it looks amazing! I love the tree and all the pictures in Reed’s bedroom. You guys try not to work so hard. xoxo
She responds almost immediately.
Laura: I would love to take credit for it all, but that was all Reed;) We are wrapping up with one interview and on to the next one, I should be able to get him out here in about two hours. He isn’t being very fun. I think he misses you.
Me: Tell him thanks for the Milk Duds. It’s the first box he’s hidden since we got back together. He gets brownie points for it.
Taking off my shoes, I plop down on the bed and instantly melt into it. This bed has to be the most comfortable thing ever made. Traveling always makes me so tired and it would be a shame to lie in this bed and not take advantage of this beauty. I take one of the pillows—it didn’t matter which one because none of them smell of Reed. For the first time ever, that makes me a very happy girl, knowing we are the only ones that will ever be in this bed. I can’t wait until we christen this one, too. I pull the blanket over me and drift off to sleep.
Reed
“Word on the street is you moved to Atlanta for an old girlfriend and you guys have reconnected. Does that mean the legendary player of the MMA is officially off the market? Did she get Riked?”
I knew this guy would be a problem, and I’m sure that’s why Laura scheduled him for last. She wouldn’t want me pissed off for all the other interviews.
Kevin Packer, a sports DJ, has to be the number one douchebag in the country, and he happens to have the most listeners because of it. I fucking hate him. I wonder how much trouble I would get in if I dropkicked his ass.
But I can’t, so I just answer the damn questions. “Atlanta also has the chance to make some new kick-ass fighters, so why not open the gym down there and give them the same opportunity I had? And yes, I have a girl, and no one got Riked, but that’s all I’m answering about her.” I have to repeat to myself that this is live air, but telling him to fuck off may be worth the fine I’ll get.
Kevin holds up his hand to his ear. “Did you hear that, Riker? That’s the sound of hearts breaking across the country.”
“Fine by me, Hadley is the only girl for me. You got anything else for today?” I ask as I look down at my watch. Kevin has asked me about hundred questions, and I know I can’t take much more.
“Nope, that’s it for me. I guess we will all see if the girl to grab onto your balls is your good-luck charm or your kryptonite. Thanks for coming to the studio, and good luck.” Then Kevin makes a sign to cut all audio.
Laura’s red face and coiled body looks like she’s ready to tear him a new ass hole when the door to the studio opens. She points rights at Kevin and says, “You. I told you all personal questions were off limits, yet like always, you went there. Next time, I will pull him from it right away.” Leave it to Laura to act more like my agent than my actual damn agent.
“It’s okay, Laura. Let’s go. I’m hungry and I need to call it an early night. Got training early as shit. The time change is kicking me hard.”
I look at my agent, Colton, and he’s smiling at me. I hired him because he was the best at getting names out there, but he thrives on the drama. I guess that’s what makes him so good at his job. Sometimes, that’s the only thing he’s good at and Laura always ends up doing all his grunt work.
Colton pulls me by the arm and walks me out of the booth. “You know, we could really capitalize on you and this girl. People are going crazy for this shit. Riker in love with a girl next door—magazines, reality and talk shows. We could make it huge, which means more money for everyone involved.”
I shake my head at him. “Nope, not a fucking thing about her will come out of this. Hadley is not a damn ploy to make more money for you or anyone. This is the last time we talk about it. Next time, do your damn job and stop shit you know I don’t want. No questions about her, and that’s fucking final. Remember, your contract is up in four months, and don’t think for one second you’re safe with me if you screw with her.” I turn around, pissed. How dare he even think we want to make money on us? Hadley is anything but a cage pussy.
I’m driving my challenger home from yet another round of interviews. We’ve been here four days and the longer I’m here, I know I made the right decision by leaving. This city, this business, consumes you. Each night, I get home when Hadley is already in bed, but shit, she doesn’t say anything, just rolls over and lets me take her. Knowing I need it to calm me, center me—my own bubble of my fucking beautiful Hadley. After training, five interviews, and two photo shoots, I need her more than I usually do. I got into MMA because I loved it, needed it, and could support us well by doing it. All the bullshit that goes along with making it is what drives me fucking mental. The longer I’m in this sport and the more mainstream it’s getting, the harder it is to stay private. The new fans want every piece of you they can get, and they will stop at nothing to get it.
I walk into my condo and all the lights are out except the ones from the tree and Hadley’s e-reader. I slowly walk over to see Hadley curled up into a little ball with a glass of wine on the side table along with another box of Milk Duds. When we got here, I thought I would restart the tradition, and I’m fucking glad she’s eating them again. I go to turn off the tablet when a picture of Hadley and me getting off the plane and one of us at some charity function from years ago catches my attention. The title reads, “Reed ‘Riker’ Collins sinks his teeth back into the girl he threw away to make it big.” It has me seeing red. I know I should stop but, fuck, I can’t. The more I read, the more the anger takes over.
Reed Collins, playboy of MMPL, left girlfriend, Hadley Thomas, of two years to become a fighter while she was pregnant. Our source says Ms. Thomas, originally from Reed’s hometown of Columbus Ohio, was heartbroken and actually attempted suicide shortly after the miscarriage of their first child due to complications. The same source says the miscarriage was so bad that Hadley can never have children due to it. Reed and some girl that has yet been identified was captured in this picture partying on the same day Hadley was admitted to the hospital from losing his baby. Our source says three weeks after losing the baby, Hadley ingested a bottle of sleeping pills in an attempt to take her own life.
I try to control my anger but can’t. I lose it and throw Hadley’s tablet across the room. It hits the wall and shatters to the floor. “FUCK!” What fucking lies will they come up with next?
I look over at Hadley, who is now standing up with tears falling down her face. “Reed, I meant to tell you…I really did, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want that over your head, too. You blamed everything on you already and I couldn’t do it.”
Wow…what?
“It’s true you tried to kill yourself?” Oh God, this can’t be happening. She went through all this alone while I
went and lived my fucking, stupid-ass dream. “This is fucking bullshit and you know it!” I punch the wall right next to where Hadley is standing. She flinches and looks over at the hole that my hand left behind. I fucking just scared the shit out of her. I take a deep breath and stare into her wide eyes, waiting for some sign. We stand there in silence for too long when Hadley sobs, runs up the stairs, and then slams the door to my bedroom. All while I just stand there, doing fucking shit to help her.
I leave her alone. I just need to get away, clear my head. Why the fuck would Hadley not tell me she tried to off herself? I love her so damn much it hurts me.
“Reed? What the fuck are you doing at my place? You have to be up at the butt crack of down.”
“Can I just come in, Kenny?”
He extends his arm. Lance, Kenny, Laura, and I all live in the same building. It’s always made life easier, and tonight, I’ve never been happier that I pay them so much that they can afford it.
“Coach, I fucked up big.”
“I’m guessing you saw the paper.”
Sitting on Kenny’s couch, I unload on him. “I didn’t know she was pregnant, and neither did Hadley till she lost the baby. But what if I hadn’t left? She wouldn’t have been so stressed and lost her, she wouldn’t have tried to kill herself, and she could still have kids. Goddammit, this is all my fucking fault.” I run my hands over my head, feeling so helpless.
“Rike, did you talk to her about it? Maybe not everything they published is right. You ever think about that?”
“I think they are right. You didn’t see her face when she realized I had read it.”
“None of this was your fault. Yes, you were a dick, but shit, you were twenty-three—you were living your life. Hadley doesn’t blame you so why do you?”
“You don’t get it. She doesn’t blame me because she is too damn good for me! She should hate me for all the shit I did to her. Did you know that ex of hers broke her arm and the only reason they hooked up to begin with was because Hadley saw me make out with Krystal after a fight?” I get up and pace the room.
“Rike, you can’t go back, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make it right. That’s all you can do. Shit happens all the time, but how you handle that shit is what makes you better.”
“But, Kenny, that shit is on me, not anyone else. It’s all me!”
“Baby, it’s not on you. It’s on both of us.” I spin around and see Hadley in the doorway. “Hey, Kenny. Can I take Reed back home?”
Kenny goes over to Hadley, kisses her cheek, and whispers in her ear. All Hadley does is nod and holds her hand out for me to take it.
In the elevator back up, neither of us speaks a word. She doesn’t let go of my hand until we are inside my place, and that’s when I notice her bags are packed and sitting by the door. I immediately start freaking out.
“Hads, don’t…please don’t leave. We can work it out,” I plead desperately.
“I know that now. I heard what you said to Kenny. I just… I thought...that maybe you didn’t want me anymore…because you left so mad. That article was true—most of it—I’m pretty sure the timing is off but, Reed, I don’t know if I can have children. I accepted that before, but now, I don’t know anymore.”
I go to her and pull her into me, hard. “Babe, do you even know what happened? I mean, why you can’t?”
Hadley shakes her head against my chest. “When it all happened, I didn’t want to even think about it, but now I’m just too chicken-shit to find out. The doctor told me it was a late term miscarriage and that it may have something to do with me. She was bigger when I miscarried so I know I have some damage. I just don’t know how much. I don’t think I can actually carry a baby to term. I get the shot every three months on the dot now, so I don’t worry about it anymore. I never had any need to check into the baby thing because I can’t go through that again.”
“Hadley,” I started but had to take a breath. This was a hard question to ask, but I needed to know the answer. “Did you try to kill yourself?”
She grows tense in my arms and I suddenly realize that everything in the article was true. “No, I mean… I never took anything for me to die, but I also didn’t care if I did. The sleeping pill part wasn’t me wanting to die, though. Do you remember Tyler Bowers?”
Tyler Bowers was the biggest drug fuck in my old neighborhood. We would sometimes see him selling at parties, and I think he even sold to my dad a couple of times. I start breathing heavily and the thought of Hadley being anywhere near those people makes me sick. All I want to do is jump on a plane and kick his ass till he doesn’t know his fucking name anymore. I keep my mouth shut because if I say anything else, I am going to go bat-shit crazy.
“I was doing coke a little too much. I was hyped up a lot and couldn’t sleep so I took some downer he gave me. I knew it was stupid, but Courtney was off hanging out with all our old friends, my family moved away already at that point, and I was just so lonely.” Hadley takes a deep breath and squeezes me hard. “Anyway… I took one pill, but it did nothing. Then I took another and still nothing, so I took a couple more. Next thing I knew, I woke up with a tube being shoved down my throat, throwing up. Matt found me and had some guy he knows pump my stomach. He wouldn’t take me to the hospital because the paper trail would ruin my chance of becoming a nurse. Matt saved my life. He said he was in Atlanta and had a strange feeling, so he hopped on the plane and came straight over to my house. If he wasn’t there…” Hadley starts crying into my shirt while I take all her weight in my arms.
I wish I could take all her pain, too.
“When I finally woke up, I knew I had to get the hell out. It took a while, but I eventually did. I never wanted the drug, but I wanted that high. I want you to know that I never did them because you left. I did them because I just needed to forget…” Hadley doesn’t finish—she doesn’t need to. She thinks losing the baby is her fault.
“When we get to Atlanta, we are finding you a doctor and together, we’ll find out if we can. If you can’t, we’ll fucking adopt. There are kids that need homes all over and we will find one that fits into our family. Exactly how you fit in being a Thomas.”
Picking her up, I carry her upstairs and lay her down on my bed. I fucking hold onto her so tight, scared like hell that when I wake up, she’ll smarten up and realize all this shit is on me, and then leave my stupid ass. Before I have time to take everything in, Hadley’s breathing evens out and I know my girl is asleep. I kiss the top of her head, knowing I’ll bury anyone that discovers my truth.
Chapter 26
Hadley
“Which one; the red dress or this gold top with the leather skirt?” I ask, holding up both outfits.
“I really like the gold one. It would look so good on you. Plus, with it being so close to Christmas, the red may be too much. Try them both on. Lance said Reed will train later tonight since the weigh-in was this morning. Do you want to grab something to eat after this one? The baby is hungry.” Not only was that baby hungry, but it also made her brain go in about fifteen different directions. How we went from clothes to training to food, I’ll never know.
The league is throwing a post-fight party the day after tomorrow, so Courtney and I have been spending all day shopping for dresses to wear to it. There is only one criteria I have for the dress; for me to look so damn hot in it that everyone will shut up about why Reed is really with me. It’s been six days since the first article came out and, luckily, it’s the same old story told over and over with some new stuff about us not being right for each other, or Reed only being with me because of our past. I gave up reading any more after that one. I know who sold me out—there’s only one person it could be. But I won’t tell anyone, especially Reed. He doesn’t need to be distracted from anything right now since the fight is tomorrow, and after all the shit the first article brought out in him, I know it’s for the best.
The moment I look in the mirror, I know that this outfit is the one. The gold sequined top h
angs loosely and leaves the back open with a good portion of my cleavage showing. The black leather skirt is the perfect length, not too short but enough to be slutty, and not too long to be deemed appropriate. It’s tight enough to show all my curves, and the top is just low enough without trying too hard. Stepping out of the dressing room, I spin around for Courtney.
“Yes! Yes! Yes! That is perfect! I wish mine looked that good. This sucks, my belly just now started to show. I’m not big enough to actually look pregnant. It just looks like a beer gut.” Courtney pouts. Again with the pregnancy-induced ADD.
“Court, stop. That dress was perfect and no one will even be looking at your stomach.” After she tried on about fifty dresses, I finally talked her into a one-shoulder black dress with bunching around the stomach that will hide the tiny pouch she’s getting. She should embrace it, but what the hell do I know?
“Enough with the dresses. Laura is meeting us to eat since Reed has let her take a break between things.”
At first, I hated the fact that Reed had a woman working with him on a daily basis, but then I started hanging out with Laura and quickly learned she would never cross that line. Not just because she isn’t into guys, but also because she’s a loyal person, and Reed needs more of those people in his life. If she ever leaves Reed, he will need to hire three people to replace her.
“I can’t believe you all are drinking and I can’t. Do you guys have any idea how bad it sucks to not drink? I mean, we are in Vegas. We come to Sin City and I have to stay sober.”
Laura and I are on our third cocktail and feeling great. Meanwhile, with each sip we take, Courtney looks like she may cry. “Just think, it’s so worth it to have a little baby. When he or she comes, you won’t even remember this part.”
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