The second time I met her was full a year afterwards and only a few days before I was to return home. I was passing down Beacon street and saw her at a window. She recognized me, waved her hand, bowed, smiled, and then disappeared. My heart fluttered for twenty four hours afterwards, and her image was constantly present to my mind. I saw that she had grown taller and more lovely, if possible, for she was now full fourteen. I being now in my fifteenth year. The evening before I was to quit Boston I walked down and up Beacon street several times, in the hope of once more seeing her at the window; but in vain. I was forced to leave town without obtaining sight of her.
On reaching the Inn, and there talking over with the good Dame Darwell my future plans, she told me it was her wish that I should enter at Harvard and after that become a lawyer; for the worthy hostess had a great reverence for legal gentlemen, and considered a Judge the greatest personage on earth next to a King. I had, however, no fancy for the law; though I had no objection to the collegiate course, for I had a passion for study. My prepossessions were exclusively for the sea, and to enter the navy was my ambition. This, I knew Dame Darwell was not ignorant of; and I, therefore, did not hesitate to mention it now. She answered by speaking of the honors and emoluments that the bar would give me, and by commenting upon the perils of the sea.
`I want you, my son,' as she always called me, `I want you to be a respectable and an honored man. I have money enough to pay your way handsomely to the law, and it will give me a pleasure to spend the last cent I have for your benefit. But, I also want to have you happy. Now if you prefer the sea why I won't oppose it, especially if your heart is set on it. I would rather have you here, where I can see you every week, for you know you are the same to me as my son, and are all my dependence. But then, dear boy, I don't want to have you do what you have no liking for. I would rather make a sacrifice myself than you should be disappointed when you've set your heart.'
Thus did the good lady discourse with me upon the subject; and as I had certainly a dislike to the law, and a decided partiality for the sea, we compromised matters, by my promising that I would pass through college, and then, if I could overcome my prejudice against the law, I would study it; if not, I would go into the navy if I could get a midshipman's warrant. This, she said, she knew could be easily obtained by her influence with Judge —, the Senator, who had for twenty years in traveling, put up at her house. On leaving College I should be but eighteen, full young enough for a middy, and with the advantage of a superior education. Secretly I resolved I would enter the navy when I graduated, for I felt I could never overcome my repugnance to the bar.
This matter being amicably adjusted I was in due time admitted to the Sophomore class at Cambridge. I passed my examination with honor, and saw, with gratification, that I had made a favorable impression upon the examining professors. Dame Darwell had my chambers furnished in a very handsome manner, and in point of dress and personal comfort, I was not inferior to the wealthiest in College. I had returned home after my examination, to pass the time before the term commenced, when I punctually made my appearance at Harvard and reported myself. As I was descending the stairs of my tutor's room, I encountered a fashionably dressed youth ascending. Our eyes met, and there was an instantaneous recognition. It was Russel Carryl! We had not crossed each other's paths since the affair of the boquet, nearly three years before. I met his glance tranquilly but firmly. His eyes flashed hatred and defiance. He was passing me with a haughty air, when I impulsively caught his arm and held him. The sight if him there filled me with an instant consciousness that he would endeavor to cast a cloud of infamy, if in his power, around my way through College. I shrunk at the idea. I was sensitive on the point of my mysterious infancy: and recoiled at the thought of being branded with the epithet he had once before used in connection with my name.
`Russel Carryl, I have a word to say to you,' I said in a deep tone.
The halls were deserted as were all of the rooms on that floor, none of the occupants having yet returned from their vacation. I did not fear interruption or of being overheard.
`What do you mean?' he asked, turning pale.
`I mean this, sir,' I replied resolutely. `You once applied an epithet to me, which I did not resent. I have not forgotten it. Dare, while in the university to breathe it to a human ear, or hint it and I swear that I will take your cowardly life. I will seek you out till I avenge myself. I am here a student and mean to remain here. If you whisper aught that shall bring infamy upon my name that hour you have to die. My character is as dear to me as life can be to you. I balance one against the other! Now remember, sir, if the story get abroad, I shall hold you accountable—for it will assuredly come from you.'
Thus speaking I released him and descended the stairs and sought my chamber, which I paced to and fro for many hours, trembling lest the disgraceful term I had once had applied to me should follow me to the walls of the University. I hoped, however, much from the bold and determined position I had in the outset assumed with reference to the only enemy I had, who had the will and the power to injure me. I knew that Carryl would have got a story circulating at once if I had not threatened him, and that he could now do no more; and I had a pretty strong confidence in having intimidated him. The result showed that I was not in error. He remained in College two years, during which time, though we daily met, we never spoke; and during this period I had no reason, from the manner of the students towards me, to suspect they had ever heard the disgraceful term I so dreaded coupled with my name. But after two year's residence in College, Russel Carryl was expelled for a gross misdemeanor, and soon after went to New Orleans. He had not been absent but a few weeks before I discovered a marked change in the conduct and bearing of many of the students with whom I had been on terms of intimacy. Some of them openly avoided me, and others coldly acknowledged my salute. Sensitive and alive to suspicions touching the point nearest my feelings, I began to suspect that my name at last had got to be coupled with an infamous epithet! My suspicions were at length confirmed (for I was getting feverish and in constant mental agony under the insulting bearing of my class mates, who did not hesitate openly to shun me) by seeing after coming from recitation, the word `Bastard, ' written in chalk, upon my door.
It would be impossible for me to express my feelings on seeing this fearful word! It at once explained all the cold looks, and open insults, the scornful laughs and jeering gestures I had been for some days the subject of! I entered my room and locked the door. I threw myself into a chair but instantly rose, for my brain was on fire and I could not be tranquil! For a little while I was perfectly insane under the rush of emotions that overwhelmed me! All that I had feared had at last come upon me! and at a time too when I was winning golden honors in the very front of my class. In a few months longer I was to graduate, and common fame had already awarded to me the highest honor. All these high hopes were at once crushed.
I at length became calmer and was able to reason and reflect upon what had happened. I felt that the degrading light in which I was now regarded was owing to no act of mine! I felt the proud consciousness of innocence. But this was not enough to sustain me against the prejudices and malice of those with whom I was daily thrown into contact. I knew that I was looked upon as a degraded thing; and that from that day, if I remained in college, my path would be a solitary one! I should be the mark for the finger of scorn and buffoonery, and shunned and despised. The thought was madness. I could not endure it for an instant. My proud spirit rebelled and my wounded heart shrunk at this contemplation.
`No,' said I, `my course is decided. I leave College this very hour never more to return. I will fly from the ignominy that surrounds my name.'
I had one friend in College whom I greatly esteemed for the purity of his heart and the strong wisdom of his cultivated mind. He was the son of a country clergyman, and a beneficiary. We were intimate, and he was the only person I had ever made the confidant of the mystery which surrounded my infancy. This knowledge end
eared me to him still more; and he truly loved me. He had few associates, for he was poor and a charity student. This led me first to notice him, and to seek his acquaintance. His name was Henry Seaford. While I was uttering my determination he knocked at the door. I knew his knock and opened it to him. He entered and sat down. I saw he was deeply moved.
`You have seen what is written on my door?' I almost sternly demanded.
`Yes, Marlboro'. It was a cruel and unfeeling act. I heard you walking over-head (his room was under mine) and knew something had greatly agitated yon. I came up to see, half suspecting the cause, when I saw the writing on your door. The infamous thing has been whispered about some days, but I only learned it this morning!'
`I have felt a change in the manner of many towards me for the week past and suspected the cause,' I said bitterly. `I thank the hand that wrote that on the door, it has relieved my mind and led me to adopt a course of action. I leave Cambridge this evening.'
My friend would have dissuaded me from this step, but finally yielded to my mode of reasoning and acknowledged I could not remain and be happy. He then told me that the report had been started by means of Russel Carryl who, before sailing from Boston, had written a note to one of the class, stating that he well knew me a boy at school and that I was there well known as the illegitimate son of Mrs. Darwell who kept the Silver Bottle Inn. On hearing this I could hardly restrain indignant tears. I forgot myself in the injury thus done that noble hearted woman! Seaford sympathised with me fully, but could afford me no consolation. I could neither prove my birth nor disprove the charge, and I resolved at once to leava. I presented Seaford with all my books, furniture and bedding, embraced him warmly and took the stage that very evening for home, leaving a note with Seaford to give to the President, in which I briefly stated that circumstances had rendered it necessary for me to take up my connections with the College.
That night I mingled my griefs and angry feelings with the gentle words of comfort and hope with which the good Dame Darwell strove to heal my wounded spirit.
The next day application was made by the benevolent woman to Judge —, in my behalf. He at once wrote on to Washington; and after waiting but three months I was so fortunate as to receive an appointment accompanied with an order to join the sloop of war Lexington at Norfolk.
CHAPTER VIII.
Prepare to join my ship—The conspiracy of Cousin Mariah against the Parson— Its success—My departure—A cruise—I pass my examination as Passed Midshipman—The supper—The insult and my resentment.
When the hour came for my departure to join my ship, my heart was oppressed with sadness and regret at the idea of parting with that noble hearted woman, who had been to me more than a mother. To her the prospect of parting with me for a period, perhaps, of three years, was an event of the deepest sorrow. Yet she felt that it was best for me to depart; that it was necessary I should go forth into the world; and that on board ship I should be secure from the fears which had harrassed me touching the ignominy which had been charged upon my birth. For my sake she tried to suppress her overwhelming emotion, and to assume a degree of cheerfulness she was far from feeling.
Dame Darwell at this time was just past her forty-seventh year, and still retained traces of that rustic beauty which had captivated the heart of George Darwell. Her eye was still dark and lively, her smile full of sweetness and her step light and bouyant, though she had got to be something fleshy. Her attachment and devotion to me seemed to increase with her years and my difficulties, and in parting with her I felt I was about to rend myself.
Aunt Keezy, who was now a thin, prim, spectacled old lady of sixty-one, having thus far in vain tried to outlive the good dame, professed a great deal of hypocritical sorrow for my departure: though I well knew in her withered old heart she was praying I might never return to rob her of Dame Darwell's loaves and fishes which she was clinging to life with the hope yet to enjoy. Cousin Mariah was not at home now. This discreet maiden seeing that Dame Darwell grew each year more hale and hearty and that I had escaped the croup, scarlet fever, rash, meazles and mumps, and promised to live out my full years, resolved to commit matrimony. For this purpose she set her cap for the minister, a slovenly bachelor who had succeeded the Rev. Dr. who had officiated at my baptism. The minister came to the Silver Bottle to board, and this circumstance inspired cousin Mariah with the idea of laying seige to his heart. The lady in question was about nine and thirty, tall and slender, straight and thin, innocent of bust and bustle. She had sandy brown hair, which she always wore in two bunches of frizzled curls on each temple. Her ears were very large and cartiliginous; her eyes pale blue; her nose inclined to turn up, and the corners of her mouth down. She was remarkably plain altogether, with a visage that seldom relaxed with a smile, but on the contrary expressed habitual discontent. Such were the beseiging forces that were contemplating an assault upon the solitary stronghold of celibacy within which Parson Buckhorn had entrenched himself. The parson was about forty-four, six feet one inch high, loosely jointed and hugely ungainly. He wore sheep skin slippers and a tattered morning gown, spectacles, and a short pipe; for the latter was so constanly in his mouth it may be reckoned among his attire.
Cousin Mariah began by a series of little attentions. She darned his hose she starched his cravats; she burnt out his pipe; she patched his gown, she kneed his pantaloons and elbowed his coat; she brought him hot water to shave and brushed his hat and surtout. In a word the designing maiden managed to make herself so useful to him that he was dependent on her for every thing.— Dame Darwell saw the game and winked at it; for she was nothing loth that the minister should take her off her hands; for couzin Maria was not the pleasantest tempered person to live with in the world. After she had got the good man as dependent upon her as a child, she suddenly took it into her head to make a visit of a few days to a distant relation. This was her coup de main The poor minister was utterly lost. He had no one to darn his hose, to starch his cravat, to fill his pipe, to knee his trousers and elbow his coat, to get hot water for him to shave with, and brush his hat! He was completely lost. She had well played her part.
`Good Mistress Darwell, when is your couzin to return?' said the poor ensnared Minister the second morning after her departure.
`She may be gone three or four weeks, perhaps longer. I should'nt wonder if she should get a husband there and stay away altogether!' said Dame Darwell mischievously.
`Impossible! It can't he!' said the good man; and then he filled his pipe and tried to console himself smoking. But it would not do. He became restless and impatient; lost his appetite; forgot his sermons, and altogether showed the symptoms of a bachelor bewitched. Seeing affairs in this condition the good Dame thought it best to send for cousin Mariah, whom, as I have said, she was secretly favoring and encouraging in her hymenial conspiracy. On the fifth day cousin Mariah returned, and, to make an end of my story, in ten days afterwards they were published, and in due time married, greatly to the joy of the good dame. It was not a part of my foster mother to let cousin Mariah live with her now she was married; and so giving her a handsome wedding present of fifteen hundred dollars, she assisted them in going to housekeeping; and at the time of my departure they were living in a comfortable dwelling at the other end of the town. Cousin Mariah had now been six years a wife but not a mother.
As the stage came up to the door to take me from the roof which had been all my life my maternal home, the minister and cousin Mariah appeared to bid me farewell. The good man gave me good council and his blessing, and cousin Mariah said she hoped I would do credit to her and her cousin and all the relations, considering `as I had no relation to do credit to!' I was in no mood at such a moment to resent her malicious reflections upon my unfortunate infancy, being too much oppressed by the open grief and fast flowing tears of my beloved foster mother Closely she pressed me to her benevolent heart, prayed Heaven to protect me and in safety return me to her arms.
The coachman had secured my baggage and got
upon his box. I embraced her tenderly and sprung into the coach. The next moment I was borne rapidly away from the home of my childhood, from the only true friend I could trust on earth, and fairly launched on the wide world of action, trials and struggles.
I was now eighteen, tall and well formed, and as dear Dame Darwell used to say, `with fine hazel eyes and rich brown hair; a handsome nose and mouth with a complexion inclined to brunette.' The change of scenery soon divested my mind in a measure from the burden of parting sorrow, and I became more tranquil and capable of reflection.
I felt I was now truly alone in the world! I did not know that a kindred drop of blood flowed in the veins of any human being. I could call no one father, mother, sister, brother, or cousin or kindred. I knew not even my name. These reflections came full upon my mind and I gave the rein to the ideas and emotions they suggested. From my boyhood, from the time that I had first heard from the lips of Russel Carryl the approprious epithet of `Bastard' applied to me, I had felt a feverish, restless, growing desire to learn who my parents were! I panted to unfold the mystery—to learn the truth! This ever living desire mingled even in my dreams; and many and many a night have I dreamed I saw my mother and father!—she pale and beautiful, weeping and clad in deep mourning; he tall, noble in person and with a countenance bold yet pleasing. But I knew these were only the vision of memory recalling in sleep the descriptions of good Dame Darwell. But once, and the very night I left Cambridge, I had a dream that made a deep impression upon my mind, and which yet gives a complexion to the future whenever I look forward to it. I fell asleep dwelling painfully upon my disgrace, and the curse of man that seemed destined to follow me, and cast a cloud over all the brightest prospects of my life. I dreamed that I was standing in front of a stately gateway over which was an escutchcon on which was an eagle trampling upon a serpent. I stood gazing upon it, I remember, trying to recall where I had seen it before. While doing so a man dressed in black came to the gate and invited me with great respect and reverence in his manner to enter, at the same time holding open the gate with one hand. I passed in and found myself in an avenue lined with noble trees of great antiquity. It led to a beautiful edifice that seemed to me to be a palace. This man preceded me and ushered me up the steps of the magnificent portico into a hall of great size and beauty.
The Silver Bottle; or, The Adventures of Little Marlboro in Search of His Father Page 6