by Adele Abbott
***
Before I could go and see Sydney, I had some other extremely important business to attend to.
“And a blueberry muffin, please.”
“Coming right up, Jill,” Mindy said.
What do you mean, what happened to giving my full attention to the murder case? How can I be expected to function effectively if I have a blueberry deficiency? And besides, I hadn’t been in Cuppy C for ages.
“I assume the twins are out somewhere, enjoying their family day, are they?”
Amber and Pearl had persuaded their husbands, Alan and William, to change their shifts, so that they would all be off together on Mondays.
“Actually, the twins are upstairs.” Mindy handed me the muffin.
“What happened to ‘Monday is family day’?”
“Between you and me, Jill, I think that was a ruse to get Alan and William to look after the kids on Mondays, so the twins could do their thing.”
“What are they doing upstairs?”
“I’m not sure. I think they have some kind of new plan for this place.”
“Oh dear. I’d better go and see what they’re up to.”
“Hello, you two. I thought Monday was supposed to be family day.”
“Sorry?” Amber put her hand to her ear. “I can’t hear you for that muffin in your mouth.”
“Very funny. Mindy tells me you two are planning something up here.”
“This is our best idea ever,” Pearl gushed.
“Ever! Ever!” Amber was every bit as enthusiastic as her sister.
“You do realise you’ve said this before. Many times.”
“This is different, and it all stems from our being new mums.”
“Go on, then. Impress me.”
“We’re going to open a creche.”
“Up here?”
“Yes. These rooms are just standing empty. We’ll get these walls knocked out to create one large space. Mums will be able to come up here with their kids, and we’ll be able to sell them drinks and snacks.”
“I’m worried.”
“What is it this time, Jill?” Amber snapped. “You’re always such a downer.”
“I’m worried because it actually sounds like a sensible plan.”
“It does?” Pearl was obviously shocked by my reaction.
So too was Amber.
“Yeah, there’s just one thing. You said it would be for mums, but surely it will be for dads too.”
“You know so little about parenting, Jill.” Amber scoffed. “It’s always the mums who end up looking after the kids.”
“Really? Remind me, where are Lil and Lily?”
***
The young woman who answered the door oozed sophistication. Her makeup (the previous day’s, I assumed) had run, and her hair looked as though she’d been hanging upside down for several hours.
“Who are you?” She said through a mouthful of chewing gum.
“My name is Jill Maxwell.”
“If you’re looking for Rob, he’s dead. Murdered.”
“Actually, it was you I wanted to speak to. I assume you’re Sydney?”
“If it’s about my living here, I—”
“It isn’t. Could we talk inside?”
“I suppose so.” She spat out the gum, and then took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one.
The house must have been beautiful. Once. But not now. It bore the scars from a dozen wild parties. The carpets were all stained, the sofa was torn and covered in cigarette burns, and the whole place reeked of booze and drugs. The only saving grace was that Rob’s grandmother wasn’t still alive to see what had become of her home.
“What do you want?” Sydney took a long drag on her cigarette. “I have to nip down the shops in a minute.”
“I’m a private investigator.”
“Really? Cool. I wouldn’t mind a job like that. Do you need qualifications and stuff?”
“Some, yeah. Can you tell me about the day Rob died?”
“I don’t know anything.”
“I understand he was in The Boomerang at lunchtime.”
“So I heard.”
“Why weren’t you with him?”
“I was stuck at home by myself. I couldn’t get in touch with him because I’d lost my phone.”
“So, you were here? In this house?”
“No, I just told you. I was at home.”
“Back in London?”
“Jeez, how did you ever get to be a private investigator? I was at home in Little Bigging. It’s about eight miles up the road from here.”
“Sorry. I thought you and Rob had moved here together from London.”
“Nah, I didn’t know him until a couple of months ago. Me and a few friends heard about his parties, so we gatecrashed one. Rob and I got together after that.”
“But you didn’t move in with him?”
“I stayed over some nights, but Rob said we should wait a bit before I moved my stuff in.”
“I see. If you couldn’t phone him, why didn’t you come over to Middle Tweaking to see him?”
“I didn’t know if he’d be here. He’d said he might go back to London for a few days, to see his mum.”
Sydney stubbed out her cigarette. “Are we done, yet? I need to go and get some more ciggies.”
“Yeah, we’re done, thanks.”
As I made my way back to the car, I thought about what Sydney had told me. I wasn’t totally convinced by the lost phone story.
***
We were running low on custard creams, so on my way home, I called in at The Corner Shop. I was a little nervous about seeing Little Jack Corner because of the part I’d played in destroying his chances of winning his way through the heats of the annual Corner Shop Stacking Competition. Still, for the sake of my custard cream stash, I would have to face the music.
“Hi, Jill.” He greeted me with a smile.
“Hello, Jack. I want to apologise for the other day.”
“What do you mean?”
“The stacking competition. I’m sorry that I ruined—”
“I’m through to the finals.” He was obviously bursting with pride.
“You are? I thought the cat had knocked them all over.”
“He did, but that’s what got me through to the final.”
“I don’t follow.”
“My original efforts were all too safe. I would never have got through with that pathetic offering.”
“It looked pretty impressive to me.”
“To the untrained eye, maybe, but not to the professionals.”
“What happened? Did you rebuild them all?”
“I did.”
“That must have taken ages.”
“I was up all night, but it was well worth it.”
“I’m delighted for you. I thought you might have skinned that cat.”
“Sooty? No, in fact, I’ve decided to adopt him. At least until someone claims him.”
“What about your other cat?”
“Ginger came back later the same day. The two of them are firm friends now.”
“That’s great.”
“And it’s you I have to thank for my success, Jill. If you hadn’t come in when you did, I would probably have been eliminated.”
“Shucks, I didn’t do anything.”
What do you mean, no one says shucks? I do, so suck it up.
“I feel like I should give you something to show my gratitude.” Little Jack lifted a large box onto the counter. On the side of it were the words: this box contains 60 packets of custard creams.
“That’s very kind, but it really isn’t necessary.”
I was about to grab the huge box when Jack tore it open, took out a single packet, and handed it to me.
“There you go, Jill. Thanks again.”
What a cheapskate!
Chapter 18
When I got up the next morning, Alicia was in the kitchen.
“Have you seen Jack?” I yawned.
“He said to tell you that he’d had a call, asking him to go into work early.”
“I wonder why he didn’t wake me.”
“He said he’d tried to, but that you were dead to the world.” She grinned. “Snoring your head off, he said.”
“Rubbish, I never snore.”
“Would you like a cup of tea, Jill? I’ve only just brewed this.”
“That would be great, thanks.”
“I think it’s time I moved out. It isn’t right, imposing myself on you and Jack like this.” She poured the tea. “Milk and sugar?”
“Milk and one and two-thirds spoons of sugar, please.”
She added the milk, but then passed me my cup of tea and the sugar bowl. “You’d better put your own sugar in. I never was any good at maths.”
“You can’t leave yet. Not until I make sure that Ma Chivers can’t get to you again.”
“How are you going to do that?”
“It’s all in hand,” I lied. “With a bit of luck, it’ll all be sorted by the end of the day. Promise me that you won’t go outside before then.”
“Okay, I promise.”
***
Mrs V was knitting a pair of orange socks. Perhaps they were for Kathy.
“Morning, Mrs V.”
“Hmm.” She gave me a disapproving look.
“What’s wrong?”
“Do you remember the young couple who were fast asleep in here yesterday?”
“Of course. Kathy’s friends.”
“That’s what you told me, yes.” She put down her knitting. “Kathy called a few minutes ago. She’d tried to get you on your mobile, but you didn’t answer.”
“It must have been while I was driving; I didn’t hear it.” I took the phone out of my pocket, and sure enough there were two missed calls from her. “What did she want?”
“She didn’t say; just that she’d like you to call her back.”
“Okay, will do.”
“I asked her how her friends were today. She had no idea what I was talking about.”
“Ah, I can see why you might find that confusing.”
“I’m not the one who’s confused here, Jill. You definitely told me they were Kathy’s friends.”
“And so they are. Just not that Kathy.”
“There’s another one?”
“Yeah. My friend, Kathy. Kathy—err—Batty.”
“Kathy Batty?”
“Yeah. I’m sure I’ve mentioned her before.”
“I’m certain you haven’t.”
“Well, anyway, the sleepy couple who were in here yesterday are her friends. Sorry for the confusion. I’d better go and call Kathy now.”
“Make sure you call the right one.”
“Winky? Why are you wearing a false moustache and glasses?”
“In case Bruiser comes looking for me again.”
“Don’t you think he might still recognise you?”
“No chance. I’m the master of disguise.”
“O—kay.” To escape the insanity of my office, even if only for a few minutes, I called Kathy back.
“Jill! I need you to come straight down here.”
“Why? What’s up?”
“There’s a mouse in the shop. You know I’m scared of them.”
“Why are you telling me? I’m scared of them too.”
“No, you’re not. Not since you had the hypnotherapy.”
I was hoping she’d forgotten about that. A few years before, I’d also had a phobia about the silly little rodents, which didn’t look good for someone who was supposed to be a tough private investigator. So, despite my reservations, I underwent a short course of hypnotherapy, which to my amazement had actually worked.
“Can’t you ask May to put it outside?”
“I would, but she hasn’t turned in.”
“Is she ill?”
“I don’t know. She hasn’t called. I’m beginning to think you may have been right about her. Will you come down?”
“I’m really busy, working on a murder case.”
“Please, Jill! It’ll only take you a few minutes.”
“Okay, keep your wig on. I’m on my way.”
“There you go again, letting people take advantage of you,” said the cat with the glasses and moustache, who looked nothing like Winky. “You need to learn to say no.”
“Kathy’s scared of mice.”
“What a wuss.”
“That’s pretty rich coming from you. I seem to remember you were terrified of a toy mouse.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You must be thinking of someone else.”
“Sorry, my bad. I got you mixed up with Winky. You haven’t seen him anywhere, have you?”
***
When I arrived at the shop, Kathy was standing on a chair.
“Thank goodness you’re here.”
“That’s the nicest greeting I’ve had from you in a long time. Where is this monster?”
“It went into the changing room.”
“Why are you still standing on the chair, then?”
“It might run out again when you go inside.”
“And do what? Tear you limb from limb?”
“Just get rid of it, Jill, will you?”
“Okay. Stay there.”
“Don’t worry. I don’t plan on moving.”
I opened the door, just wide enough to squeeze inside, and then closed it behind me.
Right, mousey, where are you?
There was no sign of it. Perhaps there was a hole in the wall somewhere. I got down on all fours, to take a closer look.
“Jill!” The squeaky little voice seemed to come from behind the waste paper basket. “Jill, it’s me!”
I moved the basket to one side, to reveal the tiniest grey mouse. I was about to pick it up when it said, “It’s me, Jill. May Knott.”
“May? You’re a mouse.”
“I know that.”
“Sorry, of course you do. How did it happen?”
“I don’t know. Kathy must have been in the back when I arrived. I’d no sooner walked through the door than your grandmother came nosing around. I was about to ask her to leave when everything went kind of fuzzy. When I came around, I was a mouse. I hid in here because I was scared Kathy would squish me.”
“Jill!” Kathy shouted from the other room. “Have you found it?”
“Not yet. I’m still looking.”
“Hurry up. I’m getting vertigo on this chair.”
“Listen, May, I’m going to have to pick you up, and carry you out of the shop.”
“What if you drop me?”
“I won’t, as long as you don’t struggle.”
“What’s going to happen then? I don’t want to be a mouse forever.”
“You won’t, I promise, but first things first. Stay still while I pick you up.”
“Have you caught it?” Kathy was still on the chair when I came out of the changing room.
“Yes.” I showed her the mouse in my cupped hands. “I’ll take it outside.”
“Make sure you drop it off a long way from here or it’ll just come back.”
“Okay.”
After finding a deserted alleyway, I put May on the ground, and then reversed the spell that had turned her into a mouse.
“Thank goodness!” She hugged me. “But what happened? How could I have been a mouse?”
After casting the ‘forget’ spell, and while she was still a little disorientated, I led May back onto the high street. “Shouldn’t you be at the shop by now, May?”
“Sorry?” She checked her watch. “Goodness, I’m late.”
“I’m sure if you explain to Kathy that the bus let you down, she’ll understand.”
“The bus?”
“It was running late, wasn’t it?”
“Err, yeah, I guess it must have been.”
***
I’d been hammering on the locked door of Ever for ages before Grandma finally showed her face.
“What
’s all the noise about? We’re not open yet.”
“You and I need to talk. Can I come in?”
“Will you go away if I say no?”
“No.”
“That’s what I thought. You’d better come through to the office, then.”
Grandma sat at her desk and took a sip from a cup of steaming green liquid.
“What on earth is that?” The smell was making me feel quite ill.
“It’s my patented morning pick-me-up. Would you like a taste?”
“No, thanks. It smells awful.”
“It’s a lot better for you than that coffee you’re always drinking.”
“I seriously doubt that.”
“Are you going to tell me why you’re here, or do I have to guess?”
“I have a bone to pick with you.”
“And here was I thinking you’d come over to shoot the breeze.”
“How dare you turn May into a mouse?”
“Who?”
“You know who. Kathy’s assistant.”
“She was getting on my nerves—the jumped-up little madam.”
“She was only acting on Kathy’s orders, to keep you out of the shop.”
“She was very rude to me.”
“That doesn’t give you the right to turn her into a mouse.”
“Let me guess, you’ve reversed my spell.”
“Of course I have.”
“Spoilsport.” Grandma took a long drink of the green stuff. “Is that all you wanted?”
“No, actually. I need your help with something.”
“Really?” She cackled. “You have a go at me and then expect me to help you?”
“Essentially, yes.”
“Go on, then. I’m listening.”
“Ma Chivers is at it again.”
“What’s she done to you this time?”
“She had someone put up graffiti all around Washbridge, saying I was a witch.”
“Is that all? You don’t need my help to get rid of a bit of graffiti.”
“It’s not that. I’ve already had the graffiti removed.”
“What is it, then?”
“She made someone do it against their will. I want you to help me to protect this person from Ma Chivers.”
“Who is it?”
“Alicia.”
“Are you serious? Have you forgotten that she once tried to kill you?”