by Dotson, P.
“Hey sweetie it’s me, just wanted to let you know that I’m still at the restaurant patiently waiting on you. I know you’re probably at work and running a little late, just give me a call please,” she said her voice slightly cracking.
She hung up the phone and fanned herself with the menu to keep from crying. “He can’t do this to me,” she said out loud. After all the effort she’d put into this night. She made special reservations, so they could be set apart from the other guest to give them some private time. That was one good thing about being in the private back room; no one could see her sitting alone with a pitiful look on her face.
Candles were lit and she was decked out in her skin tight Versace dress. It fit her thick, yet curvaceous frame just right. The entire look was definitely something new for her. She had her hair straightened, and she even added some highlights. She went all out by wearing a pair of black thongs, which she now regrets because they were stuck way deep in the crack of her ass.
“Are you ready to order?” the young blonde waitress asked, interrupting her thoughts.
Cassidy shook her head no. “My husband just called, he’s sick and won’t be able to make it,” she lied. “I think it’s something going around.” The waitress simply nodded. “Thank you,” Cassidy said paying the bill and grabbing her coat and standing up.
With her head held high she sauntered out of the restaurant. Heavy raindrops poured down from the sky while, huge tears fell from her eyes. The rain solidified her somber mood. She didn’t even bother to cover her hair as she walked to the car. She did it all for nothing.
“What the hell am I doing wrong?” she asked herself as she sat in her Mercedes Benz. “I’m the perfect wife. I cook, I clean, and I take care of the household. What else could he possibly ask for? What the hell else does he want from me?”
She whipped out her cell phone and dialed her husband’s number again, and again she was directed to voicemail. She threw her phone in frustration. It hit her window with so much force it cracked, just like her heart.
Marcus was still MIA when she got home. She dragged herself out of the car and somehow managed to make it into the house. She walked directly upstairs and plopped down on her bed, wet clothes and all curling her body tight into the fetal position. She reached over and grabbed Marcus’ pillow and tightly hugged it to her chest, savoring the sweet smell of his cologne. The sight alone she knew had to be pitiful. Tears leaked from her eyes as she held the pillow tightly wishing that it would somehow magically turn into her husband.
She knew the marriage was over but she still wasn’t ready to face that reality.
Chapter 2
Cassidy woke up to an empty bed and a pounding headache. She lazily got up and walked to her bathroom. As soon as she hit the light switch she almost jumped out of her skin as she stared at her own pitiful reflection in the mirror. Her skin seemed to have lost some of its color, her eyes were red, puffy and swollen from crying and her hair was all over the place.
She was so wrapped in her own misery she never even heard Marcus enter the bedroom. He walked into the bathroom, took one look at Cassidy and shook his head in disgust. He didn’t even bother with the apologies. He walked to the toilet, relieved himself completely ignoring his wife as she looked at him as if he’d lost his everlasting mind. After he was finished he washed his hands, and then left the bathroom leaving Cassidy standing there stuck on stupid.
Cassidy snapped her neck back in shock. She couldn’t believe he had the audacity to stand in her presence as if nothing happened. She rushed out of the bathroom, her patience reaching its boiling point.
“What the hell happened to you last night, Marcus?” Cassidy demanded, standing directly in front of him. Marcus looked her up and down with a smirk on his face. He didn’t bother to entertain her question he just simply kept undressing. “Are you going to answer me or what?” she asked getting agitated with his nonchalant attitude.
Marcus couldn’t contain the small chuckles that erupted from his belly as he stared at what he considered to be a pitiful excuse for a wife.
“What the fuck is so damn funny?”
“Come on Cassidy look at you,” he said gesturing his hand up and down. “You’re pitiful . . . weak . . . spineless. Truthfully Cassidy, this game between you and me is getting tired.”
Cassidy jerked her neck back as if she’d been punched in the throat. The harshness of his words stung her soul and pride. “Game, what game? Let me ask you this,” she continued not giving him a chance to answer the question. “Was I spineless when I worked three jobs while pregnant to support your black, sorry ass and put you through law school? Was I weak when I had to sit up all hours of the night because your dumb ass couldn’t comprehend that two plus two really does equal four? How many sleepless nights did I have to encounter at the hands of your sorry ass in order for you to pass, and you call me weak. I don’t get you Marcus,” Cassidy said shaking her head, her emotions were starting to get the best of her. “How can you be so cold?”
“I don’t have time for this shit,” he said shaking his head as he walked over to his closet and pulled out a pair of slacks and a sweatshirt.
“Triflin’ ass mothefucker. You just gon’ up and leave the house without washing your ass. You could at least wash your dirty ass dick.”
“Don’t worry about it. I already did.”
Cassidy was at a loss for words after Marcus’ last remark. The signs have been staring her in the face all along but she chose to ignore them, and now Marcus was practically throwing his dirty laundry right in her face. She couldn’t understand what happened; he’d turned into Dr, Jekyll and Mr. Hyde overnight. Gone was the passionate and caring man that she fell in love with, he was now so distant and cold. But as harshly as he treated her, she couldn’t find the will power to allow him just to walk away.
“Where are you going?” she asked, as she grabbed him by his forearm to keep him from walking out the door.
Pap!
“Have you lost your got damn mind? You know better than to put your hands on me. I’m tired of you questioning me.”
“You said you would never hit me again,” Cassidy cried as fresh tears fell down the sides of her face. She held the spot where Marcus’ hand connected with her cheek.
“Whatever Cassidy,” he mumbled exiting the bedroom without giving his wife a second glance. Her time was about to be up soon anyway. He hadn’t planned on making his move this soon but he just couldn’t stomach Cassidy anymore.
Consumed with hurt Cassidy sank down to her bedroom floor and sat there for what seemed like hours. She felt like she was in the twilight zone. This can’t be real, it had to be some dream that she would wake up from at any moment, but no matter how hard she pinched herself nothing could rock her out of her real life nightmare.
* * *
“Cassidy,” China yelled ringing the doorbell. She hasn’t seen her older sister in a while. She was in town and decided to stop by and pay her a visit, plus her money was short and she needed a loan that she would never pay back.
After waiting outside for five hot minutes, and no answer she begin fishing around in her purse for her spare key to Cassidy’s house. She really didn’t like to use it because Marcus would always piss a bitch about it.
“Cas,” she called out once inside. She looked around the living room and nothing appeared to be out of place. “Cas, I know you’re here,” she said running upstairs.
She stood outside her sister’s bedroom door, placing her hand on the knob. She knocked on the door a couple of times but received no answer. She started to turn and walk away but something told her that Cassidy was behind that door.
“Cas,” China knocked again, as she turned the knob and slowly entered her sister’s bedroom. “Cas,” China yelled when she noticed her older sister sitting in the middle of her bedroom floor with her knees to her chest, slowly rocking back and forth.
“He . . . hit . . . me,” Cassidy squealed her chest heavily heaving up
and down. “He doesn’t love me anymore.”
“What? Who hit you?”
“Marcus!”
“What!” China frowned smacking her lips. “That nigga hit you and you’re crying about he don’t love you anymore. Shiet . . . fuck love what the fuck love got to do wit’ it. Did you at least hit his ass back?”
Cassidy shook her head no. China threw her hands up in the air in frustration and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. She was seething on the inside; she couldn’t believe Cassidy allowed this man to put his hands on her.
“Why doesn’t he love me anymore China? Huh? After all the shit I went through for his ass. I put my own life on hold for his!” she sniffled. “Do you think he appreciates it?
“Well, why you keep putting up with it then, Cas?” China asked digging around in her purse pulling out some tissue for her sister, unfortunately for China a few extra personal contents spilled out of her purse.
Cassidy gasped as soon as her eyes became fixated on the white substance in the plastic Ziploc bag. China reached for it but Cassidy was too fast. “China you promised.”
China snatched the plastic bag out of Cassidy’s hands and stuffed it back in her purse. “It’s not what it looks like,” she said weakly, looking away unable to look her sister in the eyes.
“It’s not what it looks like?” Cassidy asked snaking her neck. She looked at her sister, but China looked the other way. Cassidy ran her fingers through her hair. She had to set her own problems aside for now. “China, why are you doing this to yourself?” Cassidy asked softening up the tone of her voice. “Dre-,”
“Please don’t mention his name,” China pleaded holding up her hand.
“China, it’s time for you to let go. It’s been a little over a year. You have to move on with your life. You can’t go on living like this. You’re so much better than this.”
“Look who’s talkin’,” China shot back.
“I know it’s the pot calling the kettle black, but you’re my little sister and no matter how fucked up my situation may be, I still want to see you happy. You know I want nothing but the best for you. I hate seeing you like this.”
“And you think I want to come here and find you balled up in the floor because this nigga put his hands on you?”
Cassidy released a loud sigh. “You’re right China, but it’s just not that easy. I mean we’ve been together since high school, and we have a child together. What about Junior? I just can’t tear his family apart. You know what kind of psychological damage that could have on him? How can I just walk away from the years we shared, the family and foundation we’ve built. I just can’t do it China. As fucked up as it is, I still love him.”
“Cas it’s not going to be easy. I understand you gave this man your life, your everything, but if he doesn’t appreciate it why continue to give this man your all if he clearly doesn’t want it. You said so yourself that lately he’s been staying out, he doesn’t call. Its time to face the facts big sis, its obvious he’s moved on and is no longer committed to his marriage. Why continue to sacrifice your happiness if he isn’t willing to sacrifice his?”
“I know but what about Junior?”
China sighed. “I know it will be hard on him, but I think he is at an age where he will understand.”
“But I don’t want to start over at thirty-five,” Cassidy whined feeling herself near tears.
“You have too, Cas. You want to be unhappy for another thirty-five?”
Cassidy wiped the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t want to accept the truth of her sister’s words, but the proof was already in the pudding. She knew it was time for her to let go, but it was definitely easier said than done.
“Okay,” Cassidy sighed doing her best to stop the tears that rolled down her cheek. Her marriage was over. The pain that consumed her heart hurt like hell. “Okay I will stay with mommy and daddy for a little while until I figure out what I’m going to do,” Cassidy sniffled. “If I can walk away so can you,” she said holding out her hand.
China looked at Cassidy’s hand and her heart dropped. She knew what her sister was talking about and just like Cassidy it hurt like hell for her to part with the substance that had become the love of her life. China reluctantly dug in her purse until she found it. The plastic bag seemed to burn the palm of her hand as she held onto it for dear life. She wasn’t ready to part with her habit just yet.
“Thank you,” Cassidy said literally snatching the bag out of China’s hand. She got up and headed to the bathroom with China following closely behind her. Sweat beads formed on China’s forehead as she watched her sister pour her habit down the toilet. “It will be okay China. I will help you get through it.”
Yeah you can say that shit, China thought to herself.
“Come on let’s go to the Cheesecake Factory, my treat,” Cassidy offered.
“It’s always your treat,” China mumbled.
China began to scratch an imaginary itch, her nerves were on edge already. This is ridiculous, I can’t do it.
“Stop it,” Cassidy demanded. “Look at me,” she said grabbing China’s face. “You are better than this. It’s going to take some time, it’s not going to happen overnight, but trust me you will find a way to get through this.”
China shook her head because Cassidy just didn’t understand. In her mind everything within her needed and depended on that drug. It did things to help her get through her problems. It helped numb her pain. It was her friend in her time of need, it was her shoulder when she needed one to cry on, and it was her pain reliever when she needed something to ease the pain of her broken heart. It took her to a land of happiness and relieved her of her painful reality of life without her true love Dre, even if it was only a temporary fix.
“You will eventually have to face your reality,” Cassidy said as if she could read China’s thoughts. “No matter how high you get, at some point you must come down and face whatever it is you are running from.”
“I don’t think I’m ready Cas.”
“Stop making excuses. Come on, we can talk about it over lunch.”
“Okay Cas,” China said wiping away her tears, with doubt circling her heart.
“Just let me take a quick shower, and then we shall be on our way. Okay,” Cassidy said rubbing China’s arm.
“A’ight,” China said flopping down on her sister’s bed. She impatiently tapped her foot in need of a hit. She aggressively rubbed her arms and wiped away the drip from her nose. There’s no way I can do this.
Chapter 3
Ciara was all smiles as she rode in style next to her man. Marcus finally told her what she’s been waiting to hear for the last two years. He made partner with the law firm and was leaving Cassidy so they could finally be together. This couldn’t have come at a better time. She just learned she’s eight weeks pregnant. At first she was kind of hesitant about telling Marcus in fear of his reaction, but she was surprised that he was actually more excited about the news than her.
Marcus held onto Ciara’s hand with a goofy smile on his face. He was ready to be rid of his wife, Cassidy, and start fresh with Ciara. There wasn’t an ounce of remorse in his body for what he was about to do to his unsuspecting wife. He’s not in love with her anymore and is being selfish by thinking with his little head versus his big head.
“What are you thinking about gorgeous?” Marcus asked giving her hand a slight squeeze.
“I just can’t believe it. I never thought we would make it to this point,” she said tears glossing her eyes. “I’m so happy. Bay, I love you so much. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.”
“I love you too. Just make me a promise?” he asked with sincerity in his voice.
“What?”
“No matter how bad things get between us, promise you will never leave me.”
“I will never leave you Marcus Blake,” she said as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “What do you want a boy or a girl?”
“A girl,”
he said a bright smile appearing on his face as he patted her stomach. “I already have Junior.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter to me as long as the baby is healthy. So . . . um when exactly are we going to tell Cassidy?”
“We are on our way right now.”
“Excuse me! We?” Ciara asked nervously biting down on her lower lip. She didn’t realize that’s what Marcus had in mind. She thought they were about to go celebrate his new promotion and he would deal with Cassidy later. She wasn’t prepared to face her sister and not like this, especially since she has been MIA lately.
“Yes! We! I want you to spend the night with me tonight in our new home. I’m tired of living this lie. I’m just ready for us to start our new life together. I know this isn’t going to be easy but you can’t help who you fall in love with. I can’t breathe when you’re not with me ma. You complete me.”
And just like that, Ciara was putty in Marcus hand falling for the bullshit that spilled from his mouth. He wasn’t in love but blinded by his own lust.
Ciara felt her heart soften as she looked at the love of her life. She wiped the tear that escaped her eye and dismissed the butterflies that swarmed around in her stomach. She couldn’t let this man that was brought into her life for a reason slip away. He’s the missing pieces to her puzzle, and she wasn’t about to let anyone or anything remove those pieces. He was what she needed to make her life complete.
“Okay bay, I’m with you all the way.”
* * *
Ciara sat inside the truck and admired what would be her new home. She stepped outside feeling in pure bliss.
“You ready?” Marcus asked taking her hand.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Dammit!” Marcus mumbled under his breath, his mood turning sour at the sight of China’s truck parked along his sidewalk. He couldn’t’ see how he missed it pulling into his driveway.
“What’s wrong baby?”
“China’s ghetto ass is here.”