by Dotson, P.
Marcus quickly sat up and covered himself. He cursed under his breath for not locking the door; he and Cassidy rarely locked the doors because Junior knew the rules.
“Boy didn’t I tell you to knock first?”
Ciara did her best to cover her nude body. Her face turned a shade darker from embarrassment. “Hey Junior,” she laughed uneasily. From the clear state of shock on her nephews face she knew he had no idea what was going on. “You didn’t tell him,” she whispered.
Marcus ignored her question his eyes remained fixed on his son. “Did I not tell you to knock before you enter any room when the door is closed?”
Tears clouded his eyes as he looked from his Aunt to his father. He blinked hard to keep them from falling. Instantly everything began to fit like pieces to a puzzle, now he understood why his mother didn’t come home. He never thought anything of his Aunt Ciara being there. Neither of them did anything out of the ordinary. Without saying another word, Junior turned and bolted out the door. He ran down the stairs nearly stumbling in the process. He had to get out of there, he had to leave. His mind was all over the place and it was too much for his fourteen year old brain to handle.
“Junior,” Marcus yelled but the sound of the front door slamming was his only response. “Shit,” he muttered.
“You didn’t tell him Marcus?” Ciara asked again.
“No,” he said hopping out of the bed, searching for a pair of pants. “I was waiting for the right time.”
“Well great. This is just peachy. This is a great way to start things off. I thought you were going to tell him last night.”
“Dammit Ciara I didn’t, now get off my damn back. There is no good way to tell your son that his Aunt is going to be his new stepmother.”
Ciara sat silently, because she knew he was right. This was going to be a lot harder than she thought. She never once thought about Little Marcus and how it would affect him. A sense of guilt began to circle around her heart, and China’s words begin to play like a broken record in her mind. “I hope he’s worth it.”
“I’ll be back,” Marcus said grabbing his car keys.
“Do you want me to go with you?”
Marcus shook his head no. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’ll give you a call and keep you posted.”
“Okay,” she half smiled as she watched him walk out of the room.
Ring! Ring!
A hard frown claimed Ciara’s face as she looked at the ringing telephone. “Hello.”
“Ciara, is that you?” Pearl yelled through the phone.
Ciara glanced at the clock. It was a little past eight in the morning. “Mom do you know what time it is?”
“You damn right I know what time it is? Do you know what time it is? How about I tell you, its time for you to wake up and come to your damn senses. That’s what time it is.”
“Mom, Marcus and I are in love. There is nothing you or anyone else can do about that. You can’t help who you fall in love with.”
“Ciara if that ain’t some bullshit, then you just about as dumb as my ass. How could you Ciara? Of all people Cassidy your own flesh and blood. Are you that desperate for a man?”
“Mom,” Ciara stressed. “I don’t know, it just happened.”
“It just happened! What that nigga just up and landed in your bed. Is that how it happened? I should come over there and knock some sense into you.”
“Mom.”
“Uh huh, don’t Mom me. How is this going to look for Junior and for your own child? How do you think they are going to feel growing up? But you so worried about your kitty I guess you didn’t think about all of that huh?”
“Mom it’s too early in the morning for this. I will call you later,” Ciara sighed.
“I know you won’t, but that’s okay because I’ve said my peace. Just know that what goes around comes around, and that Karma really is a bitch. You made this bed Ciara, and believe me when I say you are going to have a hell of a time sleeping in it.”
“Okay Mom I love you,” Ciara said ready to end the conversation.
“I love you too.”
Ciara hung up the phone and laid down, gently massaging her temples. She quickly shooed away any doubts that found a way inside of her head. This could work she silently tried to convince herself. She and Marcus would prove everybody wrong and they would eventually have to accept them being together. She believed strongly in that saying time heals all wounds. She rolled over on her side and grabbed Marcus’ pillow hugging it tightly to her chest. She couldn’t imagine her life without this man, he made her life complete. She closed her eyes to get some sleep. She had the hard task of bagging and packing of Cassidy’s things, she wanted to be well rested and prepared. She smiled as she thought about her future husband.
Chapter 9
Two Weeks Later
“Cassidy,” Pearl yelled banging on the door loudly. She didn’t even bother waiting for a response. She rudely opened the door and walked in.
The sound of her mother’s voice stirred Cassidy out of an uncomfortable sleep. She jumped up a little confused at first, but she soon realized that her nightmare was still her reality.
“What time is it?” she asked, covering her eyes when her mother opened the blinds.
“It’s 12:30 in the afternoon and half the day is gone already. Its time for you to get up, that’s really what time it is. And turn this depressing shit off. I love Mary too, but honey this ain’t it,” she said walking over to the stereo. “How do you turn it off?” she asked out loud staring blindly at the button’s on the stereo. “Awe hell,” she said going behind the dresser and pulling the cord. She looked at all the trash bags full of Cassidy’s stuff smothered in the small room. It was barely enough room to walk. Marcus no good ass drove the head on the nail when he had Cassidy’s things delivered to her a few days after she left. He was making his point loud and clear. Cassidy was so devastated she and Joe had to haul all her stuff, some of which hogged up the garage.
“Get up for what?” Cassidy asked, diving back under the covers.
“So you can move on with your life. Go out and find a job. Do something with yourself,” she said pulling the covers off of Cassidy.
“But Mommy,” Cassidy whined. “I need time to heal,” she said touching her forehead. She had a terrible headache.
“You’ve had the last two weeks to heal. It’s been long enough. Whew, let me open this window up. Shit when the last time you washed your ass Cas. Got my room smellin’ right funky.”
“Mom,” Cassidy groaned.
“And when was the last time you talked to Junior. It ain’t right how you are doing that poor child. It’s not his fault his daddy ain’t no good. You more worried about that no good husband of yours instead making sure your seed is alright. Its clear you got your priorities all fucked up.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes at the ceiling. She hated when her mother used foul language. Deep down inside she knew what her mother said was right. She’d been so caught up in her own feelings she forgot all about Junior. She was being selfish, but she couldn’t help it. Her life as she once knew it had been turned completely upside down. She couldn’t find any words of compassion to offer her son.
“Come on and get up. I’m not going to sit around and let love eat at you like it is China but I got something for her too. She just doesn’t know it yet, but things should be taking place as we speak.”
“Mom, what in the world are you talking about?”
“Don’t worry about it. You just get up and get out that bed. And spray some damn air freshener in here. And make sure you change my damn sheets; you got it smelling like stray cats up in here. I fixed you something to eat so be downstairs in thirty, and don’t make me come back up here after you.”
After taking a much needed bath and four Tylenol’s later, Cassidy headed downstairs to the kitchen. Her father was already seated at the table with a newspaper in hand.
“Hey Daddy,” she said giving him a peck on the che
ek.
“Hey Pumpkin, how you feel?” he asked rubbing her back. Pumpkin was a pet name he’d given her as a child, and it stuck.
“A little better,” she lied. She still felt like shit and wanted nothing more than to go back upstairs and drown in her own misery. Every fiber of her being ached and her heart was torn in two. She just wasn’t ready to face the world or the horrible task of trying to put the pieces of her life together without Marcus.
“I told your mother to fix you some pancakes. I know you love yourself some pancakes.”
Cassidy smiled and sat down beside her father. She loved that man to death; she’s always been a daddy’s girl. As a child she was a tomboy and the son her father always wanted. She was the spitting image of him, inheriting his thick curly hair, rich chocolate skin and deep sea blue eyes. She was his shadow, where Joe went Cassidy wouldn’t be too far behind.
He was disappointed when Cassidy became involved with Marcus and refused her full athletic scholarship to the University of Maryland. Both Pearl and Joe made endless efforts to get their daughter to reconsider her decision, but Cassidy was too stubborn and in love to listen.
“I don’t know why your mother just didn’t let you have the rest of the day to yourself anyway. You could have started fresh tomorrow. I understand these things take time Pumpkin. But that mule is so bull headed just like that youngest one,” he said referring to China.
That comment put a smile on Cassidy’s face, because it was true. China and their mother couldn’t get along to save their lives.
“Don’t talk about me like I ain’t here,” Pearl said placing a plate full of hot food in front of Cassidy. A light steam rose from the bacon, eggs, pancakes, fried potatoes and sausage.
Cassidy stared down at the plate of food, and as good as it looked she couldn’t bring herself to eat it. She could feel herself getting misty-eyed as she thought about how she used to cook for Marcus. He always complimented her on her cooking because he loved it so much. Cassidy blinked back her tears and pushed her plate away.
“I’m not hungry,” she said shaking her head.
Pearl who was now sitting beside Joe simply shrugged her shoulders. “Soot yourself, you’re the one that needs the energy when you go job hunting today.”
“But Mom, half the day is gone already,” Cassidy whined. “I’ll start tomorrow.”
“Um, no you won’t because like I said, you will be starting today.”
“But Mom.”
“Cassidy what did I say.”
Cassidy simply put her head down as she fought back tears. In her mind it was still too soon, she wasn’t ready to move on. She looked over at her dad for help.
“The time is now Cas. You can’t sit up here and waste away to nothing. For now you need to go ahead and check out the house he bought you. Or for that matter make his ass move in it since he bought it. Sorry ass muthafucker,” she mumbled under her breath before stuffing her face with a forkful of potatoes. Just the thought of Marcus and how he has torn her family apart made her blood boil.
“Daddy,” Cassidy whined.
“No Joe,” Pearl cut him off before he could come to Cassidy’s defense. “It ain’t no need in letting this girl sit around here and mope. She has done it for long enough. Like I said before Marcus is not coming back, no matter how much you want him too. And Cassidy why would you? He treated you like shit stuck at the bottom of his shoe,” Pearl turned her head away. She couldn’t stand the pain in her daughter’s eyes. “You deserve so much better than that Cassidy. Never think you’re too old to find love.”
“But Mom, I love him,” Cassidy said putting her hand over her mouth to muffle a cry.
Pearl looked over at her daughter and got up. She wrapped her arms around her and rested her cheek on the top of Cassidy’s head. “I understand baby, but love wouldn’t hurt you the way Marcus did. He isn’t a man, how could he treat you this way after all you did for him. You shouldn’t allow yourself to hold onto something like that. You can’t make it work in a one-sided relationship Cas. What’s the use in being with someone that doesn’t share the same love you share? It’s unstable, it’s not balanced.”
“Maybe if I just talk to him and get him to see that I can be the woman he wants me to be. I know I’ve picked up a few pounds, but that’s something I could work on. I just need to talk to him.”
“Dammit Cassidy, let him go,” Joe yelled. He never raised his voice, but to hear his baby girl talk like that did something to his heart. “Move on Cassidy, please. Look at you. What kind of man would tear a woman down so low that she turns her back on her own child? That she just would want to disappear off the face of the earth? What kind of man would tear his own family apart and treat the woman who held him down so he could pursue his dreams like dirt. I tell you what kind of man Cassidy, a man that isn’t a man at all. He’s not a real man Cassidy. You deserve a man, not just any man but a good one. A man that will appreciate you, and takes his vows seriously. He will treat you like you are apart of him. A man that finds a wife finds a good thing, and Marcus clearly is missing out on his good thing. In order to truly understand what I’m saying you have to love yourself first. You loved this man more than you loved you. That’s why you would take him back so easily.”
Cassidy listened as she allowed the heavy tears to cascade down her face. She knew what her parents said was true, but she couldn’t turn her feelings on and off like a faucet. Despite how badly Marcus had treated her she still loved him.
“Just do your dad one favor please.”
Cassidy wiped her eyes and looked at her father. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Please, at least give your son a call. He needs you right now. Can you at least do that for me, Pumpkin?”
Just hearing him call her Pumpkin put a smile on Cassidy’s face. She knew her father couldn’t stay mad at her long. “Okay Daddy.”
* * *
Cassidy sat outside of her old home. Silent tears strolled down the side of her face as she reminisced about what used to be. She shook her head as happier times plagued her brain. She banged her hand on the stirring wheel, unable to handle the pain that invaded her heart.
“Why Marcus?” she whispered as she stared at the house. “Why?” she moaned. She couldn’t understand how they had come to this.
She stepped out of her truck and walked up to her home. It appeared to be vacant as she surveyed the house looking for any movement. She just needed to be there one more time. It held so many memories. It was her dream home. Marcus let her pick it out, and surprised her with the deed and key on her birthday.
The cold hard winter air of January stung her nostrils and poked at her eyes. She sniffled and rubbed her hands together, as she looked around her old neighborhood. It was quiet as usual. She stood outside, for what seemed like hours as she dug in her pocket and pulled out her old house key. She couldn’t understand why or what she was doing there. She took a deep breath and attempted to stick the key in the key hole, but her heart quickly sank to her stomach when the key didn’t fit.
“Damn you Marcus,” she whispered as she placed her head on the door and slightly kicked it. She took in a deep breath and turned around. It finally hit her that it was over, it was finally over.
Chapter 10
“China,” Cassidy yelled as she banged on China’s front door. After leaving her old home she was in no mood to go job hunting, she decided to visit her sister China instead. She didn’t have the energy to start over yet, besides she knew she would look crazy filling out job applications. She hadn’t worked in years.
“What?” China yelled yanking her door open. “What is wrong with you banging on my door like that?” China snapped as she peeked outside. “You know how these snooty ass white people are.”
“Sorry my bad, you need to move a little faster next time. Ewe you look like you been to hell and back,” Cassidy said with a frown on her face as she took note of China’s pale skin.
“Thanks, I feel like it,” she said closing
the door. “Guess who I seen a couple of weeks ago?”
“Who?” Cassidy asked taking off her coat as she walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.
“Clay.”
“Really! How is he doing? That was my boy.”
“Cassidy did you hear what I just said.”
“Yeah, you said Clay right.”
“Yeah I said Clay and you all giggily about it and shit. That nigga killed Dre. I can’t believe you Cas,” China said shaking her head folding her arms across her chest. It seemed no one understood how she felt.
Cassidy sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “China you can’t keep holding on to this. What happened to Dre was an honest mistake. Have you ever thought about the effect Dre’s death may have had on Clay? I’m sure he’s carried around more than his fair share of guilt knowing that bullet was meant for him.”
“It should’ve hit him.”
“China, you don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do. And what are you doing here anyway?” China asked ready to change the subject, she wasn’t in the mood to talk about Clay anymore.
“Mom wants me to go job hunting,” Cassidy said rolling her eyes.
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Ah, hello! I just lost my husband to my sister. Need I say more?” Cassidy said placing her hand on her wide hips. “I mean damn give me some time to recuperate and some time to heal. Like that saying goes time heals all wounds.”
China smacked her lips. “Chick please if it was up to you, you would stay cooped up in that room till kingdom come. Besides, that nigga ain’t even thinkin’ about you. You need to turn that pain into anger. Anger is easier to cope with. It will help you get over that nigga real fast, so you can go out and find a new dick to call Daddy.”