Releasing the Watcher: The Fallen Angel Trilogy #3

by Kim Loraine

  “More,” he murmurs against my mouth. His hands, once gentle, now clutch my waist as he deepens the kiss and presses his tongue between my lips.

  This is unlike anything I’ve fantasized. My head swims with the overwhelming sensation of him. He covers me with his body, fills me with his scent, his warmth, his need. My nipples harden as a shiver runs through me, and, God help me, I melt into him. When he pulls away, my head is spinning and my body is missing the connection.

  “Why have I waited so long to do that?” he asks, wonder in his tone. His forehead is resting on mine, those mercury-hued irises almost glowing as he stares into my soul with amazement shining in his eyes.

  I can’t help but laugh. “You have only been in my presence twice. You haven’t waited long at all.”

  Grinning, he takes a lock of my hair between his thumb and forefinger, twirling the dark strands as he stares. “Any time without you is too long to wait.”

  “Sariel, we know nothing about each other. How can you feel so much for me?”

  His expression turns serious. “We are meant for each other.”

  The stern set of his jaw and his tight posture make any argument seem thin and unwarranted. He is certain.

  I shake my head and take his hand, removing myself from his grip before stepping to the side. “How can I be? In six days, I will be married. I have told you this.”

  “Do you love the man?”

  Shrugging, I walk slowly along the edge of the river, catching sight of my reflection in the calmly moving water. “I have never loved anyone.”

  “You have not met the correct one.”

  “And I suppose you think that man is you?”

  He stands so close, I can feel his energy buzzing in the small space between us. “I know it.”

  He’s not touching me, but my body reacts to his nearness. “How do you—” He dips his head, silencing me in one smooth movement. This time, there is nothing tentative or hesitant—no discovery. He fists my hair and holds me against him. Sariel is hard—everywhere. The length of him pressing into my belly is thick and hard as stone, and the thought of what he might do with it makes me shiver in anticipation. Brazenly, I run my hand down his chest, feeling planes of muscles even under his clothing.

  A shudder courses through him as my hand glides over his arousal. Breaking our kiss, he steps away. “What are you doing to me, my Selah? No one has… I’ve never reacted this way.”

  Mortification rushes up my cheeks in the form of a heated blush. What had I been thinking? “Forgive me. I shouldn’t have—”

  In the time it takes to blink, he vanishes, and I’m left standing alone, breaths ragged, lips swollen, and heart aching for the choice I have to make.

  Present day, Seattle

  My brother stands in an empty parking lot, illuminated by the light of a lone streetlamp. I can almost see the broken silhouette of his lost wings as I approach.

  “Tamiel,” I say, pushing through the uncomfortable lump in my throat.

  His head hangs low, dark hair covering his face. “It didn’t take you very long to find me.”

  I shrug, trying to appear cool and confident. “Once you lifted your cloak, you stood out to Gabriel and Michael like a beacon.”

  A dark chuckle escapes him. “Funny how you’re the one who convinced us there was more to our existence, that we didn’t need to listen to them any longer. But now you are their errand boy.”

  “Where have you been? Surely not working with Azazel all this time. You were certain you’d find your soul mate when you fell.”

  “Up until the last ten years, I’d been happily draining a small little town in Northern England. I embraced my vampire body. I’d given up hope, realized you’d led me astray. Azazel found me and told me of his plan to reenter Heaven. So, I joined their ranks.”

  “He lied.”

  Tamiel puts his hands in his pockets and sighs as he nods. “And then I saw her. I saw the one who was meant for me for a fleeting moment.”

  “But…where is she now?”

  His dark gaze locks on mine. “Dead.”

  My gut clenches. I’d been through the loss of the woman I loved. “How?”

  “Murdered by Gadriel. It took me thousands of years to find her, then, before I was able to speak a word to her, she was taken from me. I’ve spent twenty-five years without her, a fraction of the time you’ve been without your mate, but I can’t go on like this.”

  The mention of Gadriel brings back memories from five years ago. He’d nearly killed Galen in an attempt to get to me. “So you’ve deserted them?”

  He nods, and I can see the pain written across his features. “I don’t want to return to Heaven, not with them.”

  “But if she’s—”

  “You know as well as I do, we won’t get to Heaven again. It’s over for me. I wish I’d never seen her—that I hadn’t fallen. But now that she’s gone, it feels like my soul has been cleaved in two.”

  “I know the feeling well, brother.”

  His lower lip trembles, just enough to show me how hard he’s fighting to keep it together. “How did you bear it?”

  “I didn’t. I went dormant after I couldn’t take it any longer. Tamiel, there’s still hope. She might be returned to you. My Selah is here, reincarnated in this life.”

  “How do you know He won’t take her from you again?”

  Anxiety settles over me, a cold weight across my skin as his words echo the buried fears in my heart. “I don’t. But getting to love her for any span of time is a gift I’m not willing to sacrifice.”

  “I think you’re a fool, Sariel. I only wish I’d seen it before I chose to follow you and lost my wings.”

  I step toward him, though I don’t know what I can do to convince him to join with us and stop the rest of our fallen brothers. With the speed only a vampire possesses, he’s gone, leaving me standing alone in the beam of light in an empty parking lot.

  “Sam! I’ve got a grande caramel mocha here for Sam.” It takes a moment for me to register that I am Sam, as the barista continues to call my assumed name.

  I’ve spent the last three mornings in this Starbucks, hoping for a glimpse of her. I need to speak to her again, to feel her touch. Especially after talking with Tamiel and sensing his despair. Now that I’ve had just the barest sliver of Selah’s attention, I need more. Like a damn junkie looking for a fix.

  I hadn’t been inside a coffee shop since I’d been given back my own body. The scents and sounds overwhelmed me at first. Music and chatter everywhere, bouncing off the walls while the rich aroma of brewing coffee and sugary pastries layered the air. I almost had to turn around and leave, needing a reprieve from the assault on my senses. Then I remembered the sight of her bare ring finger, the feel of her hand gliding over my back, and I got in line, ordered the exact same thing the woman in front of me asked for, and settled in the window to wait—and watch.

  “Hey! Tattoo guy.” Selah’s voice flows over me like a healing balm. Finally, she’s here.

  Turning in my chair, I lock gazes with her and can’t fight my broad smile. “Hello, Selah. It’s nice to see you again.” I’m impressed with my ability to keep my cool. She’s so near, her heavenly scent eclipsing everything else around us.

  She takes her full bottom lip between her teeth and shifts on her feet, but those gray irises never leave mine. “Sam, right?”

  My back stiffens, but I nod. This will have to do for now.

  “Selah,” the barista calls. “One-pump vanilla latte with an extra shot!”

  Glancing over her shoulder, she turns back to me with an apologetic smile. “That’s mine.”

  I don’t want her to leave. In fact, what I really want to do is toss her over my shoulder and take her back to my bed. I want to love her until she forgets any other man. “You’re welcome to join me,” I offer.

  A grin spreads over her rosy lips, and my heart lifts. “That sounds great. Thanks.”

  I watch her body move with a danc
er’s grace as she navigates the crowd and collects her cup. Her hips sway with a mesmerizing quality that has my blood rushing straight to my underused cock. Selah has always carried an air of sensuality. It’s just something about her. But this woman has an added confidence, and every man in the vicinity notices. As she collects some napkins from the condiment bar, one of the brown paper coffee sleeves falls to the floor. I have to bite back a groan when she bends to pick it up. Her ass is round and toned, on full display in the tight jeans she’s wearing. Shit. I’m not going to survive her.

  Two guys who are seated close by turn their focus to her as well. They’re close enough for me to make out some of their words. My hands grip my knees so hard, my knuckles turn white. But Selah walks past them without a word, eyes only on me. Standing, I pull out a chair for her, and a sense of pride fills me as I stare down the two assholes. They blanch, and both rise, leaving without another word.

  “I’ve never seen you here before,” Selah says, turning my attention back to her.

  “I recently developed a love for coffee.”

  She grins and takes a tentative sip. “It’s heaven in a cup.”

  The mention of Heaven sends a pang through me. “I can think of a few things more heavenly.”

  “Like what? Name one thing.”

  “Oh, Selah. I don’t think you know me well enough for that admission.”

  Her cheeks turn a bright pink, but there’s a glimmer of interest in her eyes. My gaze travels to her hand, and my stomach turns to stone at the sight of that glittering diamond.

  “You’re engaged?” I ask, hoping she doesn’t notice the break in my voice.

  Setting down her cup, she fiddles with the band. “Yeah.”

  “I’m not going to lie to you and say congratulations.”

  Her eyes widen. “What?”

  “Because I haven’t had my chance.”

  She tears her gaze away from mine. “I don’t know you.”

  “You can’t deny there’s something here.” I know I’m pushing too hard, but damn if I’m going to waste any time.

  “I’m not… Sam, you can’t talk to me like that.”

  I take her hand, the contact sending a wave of desire through me. I know she feels the connection, because her fingers grip mine. “You weren’t wearing a ring when we met.”

  A guilty expression flits across her face, knitting her brow. “I…I forgot to put it back on after washing my hands.”

  “Are you sure that’s all it was? He’s not right for you, and you know it.”

  Pulling her hand free, she pushes back her chair. The scratch of the wooden legs over the stone floor is loud enough to garner attention from the people closest to us. “You don’t know me.”

  “And you aren’t denying anything. Just think about it.”

  Defiance burns in her expression as she hitches her purse high on her shoulder and turns, whirling away from me without saying goodbye.

  Thousands of years ago, Mesopotamia

  The longer I use the spell, the harder it becomes for me to return. And the more time I spend with Selah, the less I want to return to Heaven. So far, Gabriel and Michael seem unaware of my encounters with her, but every time one of them lays eyes on me, guilt stabs my chest.

  “Sariel, you seem listless.” Gabriel’s large form fills my vision as he approaches. His blond hair glows in the light of the sun, making me wish I could avert my gaze without him noticing. “Is this about that woman?”

  The way he spits out the word woman, as though it were something disgusting he’d put in his mouth, makes my jaw tighten. Selah is anything but disgusting. She’s everything good and wonderful on earth.

  “I am fine.”

  I roll my shoulders, stretching my wings as I walk. I am listless, he’s right, but I can’t let him know that. My body aches for Selah’s touch, for her lips on mine, her hands gliding over my hips, touching every part of me.

  “Your light has darkened. Something has settled over you, and it is not good. Michael has noticed your absences from our collective. I had hoped that would go without comment, but, Sariel, whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it too frequently.”

  A chill runs down my spine. So, they can’t find me when I use the spell, but they know something isn’t right. I should have known. “Leave me. I said I’m fine. Leave it at that.”

  He sighs and places a hand on my shoulder. “You can’t have her and Heaven. Besides, once you tell her what you are, she will refuse you.”

  “She will not,” I snap without thinking.

  A sharp intake of breath from him stops me in my tracks. “So, it is true. Sariel, you know this is forbidden. Don’t move forward with her. There’s still time for you to repent and beg Father’s forgiveness.”

  I trail a hand through my thick waves and close my eyes against the brilliant light surrounding us. “I…I don’t think I can stop myself.”

  “You are stronger than your lust. Don’t give in.”

  “Gabriel, she’s my soul mate. I’m certain.”

  He shakes his head. “We are not blessed with soul mates. Only humans have them.”

  He’s wrong. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel it deep in my bones. “How can you say that? I know she is mine. If I have her, who’s to say we don’t all have someone out there?”

  “Sarie—”

  “No. You won’t convince me otherwise.” The others around us have stopped and turned their attention to me, but I don’t care. “She is my soul mate. I will not leave her.”

  “Then you’ll have to leave us.” Michael, the leader of the archangels, my brother, one of my closest friends, appears in front of me, his gleaming gold breastplate and brilliant white wings a formidable sight. “You’ll have to choose. Her or Heaven.”

  My chest tightens. What if she doesn’t want me? The memory of our kiss burns in my mind. It’s a risk I am willing to take.

  “I choose her.”

  I say it loud and with every ounce of strength I possess.

  Michael’s jaw tightens, and with a nod, he turns away followed by Gabriel and most of the others. Only a few of my brothers watch on as I fall to my knees, my surrounding light dimming as I solidify my choice.

  I will fall.

  For her.

  For love.

  Present day, Seattle

  I’m dreaming. I haven’t dreamt since I fell, since I became mortal the first time. But here I am, standing on the edge of the River Jordan, cloaked by my grace as I watch Selah sleep under cover of the wide-branched pistachio tree. It’s strange to know this isn’t real but to have lived it once already. She’s as beautiful as I remember, her long hair and olive skin begging me to show myself and touch. Then she sighs and arches her back. Her breasts jut forward, tight nipples pressing against her linen gown.

  “Mmm, Sariel.”

  The sound of her moan sends a jolt of lust straight to my cock, and I jerk awake. I’m rock hard and ready for her, remembering vividly the first time she caused that reaction. Our kiss—my first instance of so much physical contact. I hadn’t a clue what was happening to me, but the ache in my groin, the desperate need to sink myself deep inside her, and the racing of my blood through my veins had shattered my will. I’d run from her, unsure of what I should do. No, that’s a lie. I knew I should never come back. But I couldn’t resist temptation. If I hadn’t fallen, she would have lived out her days, the Flood never would have happened, and the world would be different. Instead, I’d been selfish and shared everything I’d found with my brothers. I’d convinced them to find their own human women. I’d told them we deserved it all just as much as the humans did.

  What a fool I’d been. I don’t regret loving her, but I do regret the consequences.

  A sharp burn races through my back, causing me to wince as I stand and pull on a pair of pants. “Dammit, Michael. Let me be.”

  The air in the room shifts, and from the corner of my eye I see Gabriel standing in the doorway. “Have a nice nap, b
rother?” His gaze drifts to the tent in my pants. I’d be embarrassed, but he’s never known the pleasure of a woman. In a way, I feel sorry for him. I never should have let Gabriel rework the protection on this house to allow him and Michael access.

  “Nice isn’t the word I’d use to describe it.”

  He cocks an eyebrow. “Were you dreaming of her?”

  Offering a curt nod, I avoid his gaze and shift my shoulders as the itch and burn of Michael’s call intensifies along my shoulders. “What in hell does Michael need? I think he enjoys torturing me with this godforsaken brand he gave me.”

  “He probably does. He has always held tight to his grudges. He’s still angry, Sariel. All the archangels are. You abandoned us, chose her over Heaven. Michael doesn’t understand.”

  With a shake of my head, I open my closet, selecting a crisp, midnight-blue button-down shirt. The fabric stings as it slides over my back, but it won’t stick to my skin the way a T-shirt would. “Well, it doesn’t make him any less of a pain in my ass.”

  “That could be said about you as well.”

  “Why are you here?”

  Gabriel leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest, the leather of his jacket creaking as he moves. “We have a problem.”

  Sighing, I grit my teeth against the need to punch him. “Of course we do. We’ve had a problem for the last six years.”

  “Lucifer is making himself known to us.”

  My skin crawls at the mention of God’s former favorite. I remember vividly his attempt at swaying Devin’s soul mate. Willow had been stronger than Lucifer, willing to die rather than take his offer. “He’s been toying with us.”

  “He’s been getting bolder. We weakened him when we took down Azazel and Gadriel, but he’s going to figure out a way to make up for their losses. We should be prepared for him to strike again soon, but you’re more concerned with stalking your human woman.”

  “Gabriel, so help me, if you continue to belittle the importance of my relationship with Selah—”