by Kim Loraine
Slipping out of my clothes, I roll my head from side to side, stretching muscles I’ve spent all day tensing. I catch sight of my back in the mirror and gasp at the vivid, glowing lines across my skin. The feathers are etched in such intricate detail, they look real, as though if I tried to tug one free, it might come out. Forcing my gaze away from the mirror, I open the large, glass shower door and step inside the enclosure. I’ll wash it away, wash her away, and go back to waiting for her to come to me.
I turn on the water, not waiting for the bracing cold to change to warm. Stepping under the spray, I let the icy rivulets sting my skin and chase off the remaining tendrils of desire for Selah. As the temperature changes, my body heats, and I stand with my face under the stream of water. Eyes closed, I relish the sensation of the pounding water and focus only on the moment. Right now, everything is in place, everything makes sense, everything in these short seconds is manageable.
A tinge of awareness slithers up my spine at the click of the shower door opening. Her hands drift across my sides, sliding around my waist and up my chest as she presses her bare breasts to my back, her cheek between my shoulder blades.
“Selah,” I almost groan, utterly at her mercy.
“I can’t stay away. You’re right, dammit. I’m yours.”
My heart flips and shatters all at the same time at her defeated tone. Turning, I cup her face with both of my hands and tip up her chin. “No, baby. I’m fucking yours. You own my heart and soul.”
Those searching gray eyes lock onto mine, causing my chest to tighten and a wash of desire to punch me straight in the gut. I can’t take her again, not so soon.
Her brow pulls together as she frowns. “I don’t understand how this could be wrong. How could loving someone cause so much destruction? I…it was all my fault. So many people died. The world was changed.”
My stomach clenches. This is not what I wanted her to focus on. It wasn’t her, and I need to tell her as much.
“It wasn’t your fault. None of it. I am the one responsible for it all. I’ve paid the price, have lived without you, died alongside you, and spent lifetimes trapped in bodies I couldn’t control. This is our chance to be happy, Selah. He is giving us this. Don’t you see?”
She sighs before taking my hands and twining our fingers. “But do we deserve it?”
Am I really standing in a shower, naked with this beautiful man? Glancing around, I realize, yes, I am. I’m with him, completely his, and I think I might be in love with him. How is this possible? The bombshell he dropped about me sharing his Selah’s soul still sends a burning pain shooting through my chest, but I can’t ignore how I feel. He is meant for me.
“It doesn’t matter if we think we deserve it, Selah. We found each other.” He unlinks our hands and runs his fingers up my arms until they rest on my shoulders. “Let me spend every one of my days loving you.”
I should be laughing at the insanity of this, but I’m not. I want to believe him. The look in his eyes is so passionate, so genuine, I nearly melt on the spot. Instead, I thread my fingers through his hair and tug his face down to meet mine. Resting our foreheads together, I whisper, “Yes.”
A sweet grin spreads his lips, and something in me cracks. If I thought he had me before, I know it now. His hands slide down my body, sending tingles through me. When he grips my hips, I let out a soft moan. I try to press my mouth to his, to give my body what it craves and kiss him, but every time I get close, he moves away, that same grin on his lips.
“Let me kiss you, please.” I don’t care one bit that I’m begging.
“If you kiss me, you’ll close your eyes. I want to stare into your soul while I take you.”
Holy hell. Take me. He’s going to take me, and damn, I’m going to let him. Nodding, I trail my long nails over the ridges of his chest, scraping his nipple and loving how he sighs. His hard cock presses against my belly, insistent and tempting. When my hand travels past his navel, he steps away.
“No. If you take me in your hand, I’ll lose control. I want to have you against the wall, staring into my eyes, nothing but my name on your lips.”
My skin is on fire for him, but he’s teasing me, barely touching me. “What are you waiting for?”
A wicked look crosses his face. “That. The begging in your voice. Ask me to take you, Selah. Ask me to claim you as mine.”
“Yes. God, yes. Make me fucking yours.”
He cups my ass and lifts me into his arms. I wrap my legs around his hips, the water from the shower making our skin slick. He’s already poised at my entrance simply from the position we’re in, but he doesn’t press inside. The cool tile shocks my senses as he pushes my back against the shower wall and grabs his length with one hand. Running the swollen head around my clit, he shudders as I moan.
“Please,” I beg.
Pushing just the tip inside, he stills and takes slow, measured breaths. “Please, what?”
“Give me everything.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t.”
Squirming, I force him farther inside, and a thrill runs through me at the sight of his eyes rolling back in his head. “You can.” Using my legs, I pull him closer, deeper. “This is what you wanted. Why aren’t you letting yourself have it?”
His silver irises flash with an ethereal light. “I might hurt you.”
“No. You won’t. You’d never do that to me. I can see it in you, Sariel. You love me.”
He nods, his gaze dropping to the place we’re connected. We both watch as he slowly sinks as deep as he can, nothing between us, no sound in the small space but our soft gasps and running water hitting tile.
Moving in slow thrusts, he fills me over and over, his focus returning to my eyes as he brings me closer to the edge with each roll of his hips. His brows are furrowed in concentration, as though he’s holding back. I want nothing more than to break that control and watch him come apart. Pushing myself higher, I cling to him, ensuring my breasts rub against his body and my lips connect with his neck.
“No, Selah. Your eyes. I want to see them,” he growls in my ear.
“Then give me everything you have. You’re hiding behind some kind of wall. I want the real you, not a measured version.”
His thrusts come more forcefully at my words, and when he bites his lower lip, I’m gone. My orgasm rips through me, pulsing from my center all the way to my toes. I cry out, lifting my own hips and sinking back down on him as the pleasure rolls in waves. His groan sends aftershocks of ecstasy through me, but when he tries to pull out, I hold him tighter.
“I can’t…” His protest trails off on a long groan as he fills me with his essence.
Heavy pants and soft moans fill the room as we both come down from our climaxes. His large hand cups my cheek, the pad of his thumb brushing over my bottom lip.
“I do love you, my Selah.”
Present day, Seattle
Selah hums contentedly as she curls into my side on the soft leather couch. We’ve spent days pretending to be normal. Our conversations never straying from the mundane details of typical human life. She loves dark chocolate and raspberries, her favorite movie is The Never Ending Story, and the one sight she wants to see is the aurora borealis. This might be my favorite part of being with her. Being normal, relishing the ordinary before we have to go back to everything that looms beyond the walls of this house. I’m not ready to give up this life with her. It’s like a teasing glimpse into what we could have had.
“Okay, I’ve told you about me. It’s your turn.” Selah’s fingers play up and down my torso, the sensation sending ripples of desire through me.
“I told you. I’m a fallen angel. I spent my existence watching over humans until—”
“That’s not what I mean. You’ve been awake, living since then. Surely you’ve developed some likes and dislikes?”
I furrow my brow, trying to figure out who I am now that I don’t rely on anyone else for my survival. “Caramel mochas.”
She
lets out a soft giggle. “Is that all?”
Letting my head fall back against the couch cushions, I close my eyes and take a long moment to think. “Sunrise, the mist over the grass in the early morning, red wine after eating chocolate.”
“Mm, that’s a good one.”
“And poutine.”
Her shoulders shake as she laughs. “What?”
“Poutine. It’s a Canadian dish.”
“I know what it is. My ex-boyfriend was a semipro hockey player in Vancouver, BC.”
My shoulders stiffen at the mention of another man.
“Fries with cheese and gravy. Who would have thought that would be a favorite of a fallen angel?”
“It’s delicious, but not my favorite.”
“What is?”
“You. Your lips, your skin, your smell. If I could exist solely on your love, I would.”
She sits up and turns toward me, her expression serious. “How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Say something so incredibly cheesy and make it sound like the most natural statement ever uttered?”
I shrug before running my hand across her jaw and down the long line of her neck. “The truth is always easy when you’re not afraid of it.”
“I think I need more.”
My heart stutters. “I can give you everything.”
Instead of leaning forward, bringing us closer, she scoots back. “I need more of our history. I need to know why I loved you, why you loved me.”
“You were meant for me. Our love was written in the stars.”
“That’s a nice sentiment, but, Sariel, it’s not enough.”
I can’t fathom how that isn’t enough. “I knew you were meant to be mine from the moment I laid eyes on you. My heart beats for yours.”
“But you thought another woman was yours. That’s why you woke initially.”
“It was the beginning, that’s true. But there’s so much more happening. Reese woke me, I was wrong to think she was you, but in my mind, there was no other reason I would be pulled from my dormant state. No one but you.”
“And you took her.” It’s a statement. A jealous statement that makes me equal parts anxious and elated.
“I did. But once I realized she wasn’t mine, things changed.”
“I know I shouldn’t be jealous. I’ve been with other men, but it drives me insane to think you’ve been inside her.”
Ignoring the primal rush of possessive instinct as she mentions, once again, another man, I grip her wrist and pull her against my chest. “I’ve never wanted another the way I want you.”
“Tell me about Tamiel.”
Fuck, this woman isn’t pulling her punches. “He was my brother.”
“But he fell?”
Pain lances my heart at the question. “He did. He and many others followed me.”
“You killed him because he was going to kill me.”
“He wanted to die. He found his soul mate and lost her in nearly the same instant. He couldn’t take it.”
“And the others? Have they found theirs?”
I shake my head as I run my fingers through her hair. “As far as I know, I am the only one who has found my other half. The rest are fighting for something else now.”
“What is that?”
“They want to get back into Heaven.”
“Can they do that?”
“No. Lucifer is leading them into a war with God.” I swallow past the lump in my throat before I can continue. “I have to stop them.”
“How?”
Unease prickles along my skin. “I’m not sure, but I’ve got an idea.”
I can’t believe she’s still here with me. As Selah sleeps in my bed, wrapped in my arms, I refuse to let myself fall under the spell of my own fatigue. The thought of losing her, of her disappearing if I take my eyes off her, cloaks me in fear. She’s snuggled against my side, her head atop my chest and one arm thrown over my waist. Her warmth makes my heart constrict almost painfully. Frowning, I work to piece together what it is that I’m feeling. As she sighs and murmurs my name, it hits me. Completion. This is what it feels like to be whole again.
I’ve been able to love her without feeding. The primal urge to take from her still sits inside me like a caged beast, but I’ve had the control I needed to keep it contained. Unanswerable questions swirl in my mind. Is this because I’m stronger? Because I’ve been restored to my original form? Or, is this simply due to the fact that Selah and I are fated?
My phone rings on the nightstand. A loud buzzing mixes with the obnoxious ringtone Devin chose when he’d insisted I get one of these devices.
“Shit,” I mutter, trying to extricate myself from Selah’s body without waking her. Pulling the phone up to my ear, I answer with a gruff “Hello?”
“You still have that badass sword and your angel powers?” Devin’s voice holds a note of panic, unusual for the typically cocky vampire.
“What’s wrong?”
I sit on the edge of the bed, gripping the phone tightly.
“I may have bitten off a little more than I can chew.”
“Where are you?”
“The ferry terminal. They’re fucking everywhere, bouncing from human to human. I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep track, and I don’t want to hurt the innocents.”
Damn it all to hell and back. “I’ll be right there.”
After pressing a kiss to Selah’s temple, I throw on some clothes and let myself take one last look at her. She looks so beautiful in my bed. I can only hope she’ll still be there when I return. Using my grace, I home in on Devin and transport myself to his side.
He jumps when I appear next to him. “Fuck, Sariel. That is so weird.”
“Says the vampire.”
A slight smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, but it’s obvious he’s stressed. “I think there are at least five of them. The only way I’ve been able to keep track is when they look at me. Their eyes. They glow, but it’s not like yours. It’s just a flash.”
My heart sinks at his words. “That’s not the Watcher you’re seeing. It’s the burning soul of the human.”
“That didn’t happen to Willow when Armaros hitched a ride in her body.”
“Armaros wasn’t in it to take control. He was on a mission. It wouldn’t have done much good for him to burn her soul.”
“Thank fuck for that.”
The look on his face takes me right back to those moments when Devin almost lost Willow. Five years ago, I wouldn’t have cared. But now, after watching him fall in love, feeling it right along with him, I can sense the torment racing through him at the memories.
“If they’re taking humans against their will, we’ve lost them,” I say, trying to bring the focus back to our foes.
“Lost who?”
“My brothers.”
Devin straightens his shoulders and shakes his head. “Did you really think you could save them?”
“You thought you could save Galen, and you did.”
“That was different, and you know it.”
“He’s like a brother to you. You did everything in your power to save him. How is this different?”
He shrugs, but his cool, blue gaze never wavers from the crowd of people milling around the terminal. A group of about ten college-aged kids stumble toward the ticket booth, laughing and talking too loudly.
“Saturday night,” Devin mumbles. “Damn.”
It’s then I see it. A woman, tall and polished with sleek blond hair, clad in a professional skirt and blouse, approaches the group with a smile. Her eyes flit to mine, and I see the Watcher lurking behind them. With a sneer, she runs one long, red fingernail over the cheek of the boy nearest her. Her smile slips as her jaw goes slack, and the guy gives a whole body shiver. She crumples to the hard tile floor, eliciting a gasp from a few bystanders. She’s already gone. The moment her body was taken, the Watcher burned her soul and took control.
“There,” I say, juttin
g my chin toward the group. “We’re going to lose him if we don’t act fast.”
“This is going to be a shit show.”
“You said five?”
He nods. “At least.”
“How’s your night vision?” I ask.
“Vampire, remember?”
Giving a pulse of my power, I wince as the lines of my wings burn. All around us, the overhead lights blink out. People give cries of alarm as darkness envelops the room. It might be pitch black, but I see what I need.
“Shit,” Devin murmurs. “There they are.”
The burning souls of the unwilling vessels for the Watchers cast an eerie glow in the eyes of five approaching forms.
“Round them up, Devin. I’ll take them down.” My hand falls to my hip, and the heavy weight of Michael’s sword lands in my palm. I’m not ready to unleash it. Not yet.
He’s gone in a blur of motion as he takes one of them down to the ground, breaking the man’s legs with a few well-placed kicks. The Watcher struggles under him, weak from the limits of the human body he inhabits. I stand over my brother, not wanting to know who he is, as if ignorance will somehow make this easier.
“I’m sorry, brother,” I say, allowing the glow of my sword to permeate the darkness.
He croaks a weak reply, but I ignore him, unwilling to give him a chance to sway me. With one swing of my blade, his body turns to ash and another piece of my humanity dies.
Adrenaline coursing through me, I turn my attention to the three other figures currently writhing in pain on the tile floor. A shift of air behind me catches my attention as another man rushes me. His shoulder connects with mine, knocking me back a few paces, but with one well-timed blow, I end him where he stands. After dispatching the remaining fallen and sending them to await their eternal damnation, the lights return and people cheer, unaware of the carnage they’d been in the middle of.
“Shit, let’s get out of here,” Devin mutters.
We make our way out the doors and head along the pedestrian path, straight to 1st Avenue. Devin lets out a low oath, and he reaches out to stop me. I stare at him, confused. But then I see it. He’s bleeding freely from a wound across his chest, and his eyes hold a glimmer of exhaustion.