by Kim Loraine
“Wait… How is this your fault?”
“If I’d just left you alone until all this was over. But I couldn’t, and my brother found you. Gabriel warned me, but I’m weak when it comes to you, and just like the first time, you’ll pay the price.”
“What price?”
“You’ll die.”
Present day, Seattle
It’s been three days since Devin was taken, since Selah told me she loved me and all traces of my humanity were eradicated. My need for her hasn’t diminished. If possible, it’s grown stronger. But I’ve resisted. I can’t risk hurting her…and I can’t let myself love her if I’m only going to lose her again.
“How can you have no way to find him?” Willow’s question is frantic and desperate as she paces the kitchen. I risk a glance toward the living room, hoping Selah didn’t overhear. I know Willow is upset. She should be. She’s been searching for Devin night after night with no luck. “I should be able to track him. He made me into a fucking vampire. That gives us a link no one can break.”
“Lucifer won’t let us find him unless he wants us to.” I know my tone holds annoyance and it’s not what she wants to hear, but we’ve gone over this.
“Don’t you know some…I don’t know, witches or something? They could cast a spell.”
She makes a good point. Vampires and demons aren’t the only otherworldly creatures on the planet. The lore had to start somewhere. Even now, in an age of the faithless and fearless, stories of witchcraft still run in whispers through darkened alleys.
At my hesitation, she cocks her head, one perfectly arched red eyebrow rising. “What?”
“You’re damn smart for a vampire.”
Her eyes go wide. “Wait…you know witches?”
Shaking my head, I try to push down the rush of hope filling my chest.
“I haven’t spoken to them in a very long time, but I know where we can find them.”
“Where?”
A grin tugs at one corner of my mouth. “At least one of them is in Ireland.”
Pulling out my phone, I scroll until I find the name I need. It rings twice before I hear the line connect and a muffled “Fucking hell,” reaches my ears.
“Hello?”
“Galen,” I start.
“Sariel?” Galen’s groggy voice betrays the fear I knew he’d feel when he saw my name on the caller ID. “What is it? What’s happened?”
“I’m coming for a visit.”
“It’s five thirty in the bloody morning.”
“You know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important, Galen.”
He sighs before muttering, “You didn’t exactly ask.” I can picture him running his hand through his dark hair as he gives in. “What do you need?”
“Witches.”
A strangled laugh filters over the line. “And what makes you think I can supply those?”
“You can’t. But I know where to find them. While I do that, I need you to keep someone safe for me.”
“Sariel, I just got my family back and settled. You want me to put them at risk…again?”
My chest tightens at the anxiety behind those words. “As soon as I find the witches, I won’t be putting anyone at risk. Galen, he’s got Devin.”
“Who?”
“Lucifer.”
“And you didn’t think to lead with that, did you?” He scoffs. “Of course not. You did what you always do, save the details until you need them, bringing it all in for the kill when you know I can’t refuse. Fine, when will you be here?”
I run my hand through my hair and walk into the living room. My heart lurches at the sight of the woman I’d give my life for. Through all this, Selah has been curled up on the couch, her feet tucked under her as she nurses a cup of tea and stares at the flames dancing behind the glass fireplace. She looks up at me, her large eyes filled with love and a little hurt. I’ve been distant. Only because I’ve had to.
“Sariel?” Galen calls my attention back to our conversation. “When can I expect you?”
Never dropping my gaze from Selah, I say, “Soon.”
I’m not certain of anything anymore. I thought once I fell in love, really in love, I’d lose all my reservations, inhibitions, fears. Instead, I think everything has gotten worse. Every move Sariel makes sends waves of anticipation through me. As though he’ll stop loving me at any moment, if he hasn’t already. How could he do that? He’s loved me for thousands of years. It’s a love with a bond deeper even than marriage vows. Death hadn’t parted us. His soul searched for mine, always sure it would find me.
As he tucks his phone back into his pocket, I wish, not for the first time tonight, that he would acknowledge me with more than a cold shoulder and pained gaze.
“Sariel—” I start, but I don’t really know where to go with my next words.
“Pack your things. We’re leaving in an hour.” He tears his silver irises from mine. His jaw is set in a hard line as his focus lands on the flames I’d been staring at only a moment earlier.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere I can fix this.”
My stomach flips at the anger in his voice. I should tell him I hadn’t wanted Adam to touch me, to take me. Not after the first time I saw Sariel at Green Lake Park. I honestly don’t remember if Adam raped me while I was under his control. Most of our interactions are fuzzy memories at best. But, I distinctly remember waking up with the remnants of his pleasure on my thigh, more than once. The only explanation could be that he’d taken me in my sleep and my mind gave me Sariel in my dreams.
“So…this is how it’s going to be between us now?”
“What do you mean?”
“You. You’re going to ignore me. Make me feel like I somehow wronged you. I’m the one who is going to fucking die.”
His hands ball into fists, knuckles turning white, but he still won’t look at me.
Unable to stay silent, I continue. “I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want—”
“And yet, here we are. You’re knocked up, and I’m closer to losing you every day. History fucking repeats itself every damn time.” Those blazing eyes finally…finally find mine. “Except this time, it’s not my child in your belly, and that hurts a thousand times worse than anything else. Every time I look at you, it’s unbearable. You’re ripping my heart from my chest with every brush of your skin against mine.”
“Not by choice.” The words come out a harsh whisper. I can’t make myself speak with any more strength because it’s not what he’s saying, it’s what lies beneath.
“You need to pack. We’ll be leaving with or without your clothes.”
I flinch at the flat tone. His dismissive response to mine stings as though he slapped me.
Gritting my teeth against the tears, I storm to the bedroom. I know I have to go with him, but right now, I can’t look at that beautiful face without wanting to punch him in the jaw. Pulling my large overnight bag out of the back of the closet, I rip it open before shoving anything and everything I have inside. I don’t plan to come back once we get this sorted out. I’m damaged goods in Sariel’s eyes, and I deserve more than that from any man who claims to love me. Soul mates or not.
As I zip my bag, overwhelming loss grips my chest, and I can’t keep the sobs at bay. My shoulders shake and throat aches from my attempts to keep the silent cries from spilling audibly into the room. It won’t help anything to let him see how he’s hurt me. But, even as I stand with my hands braced on the dresser’s cool top, his warm presence covers me. Large palms slide up my arms and around me.
“Don’t…please. I never could stand seeing your tears, let alone causing them.”
His reference to our past, a past I remember now in brief flickers, burns like a flame in my heart. Shrugging out of his grasp even though my body cries out for him, I mutter, “Stop touching me.”
“I can’t do that.”
I can’t face him. Not knowing I’ll see that flicker of disappointment in his eyes. “Aren�
�t we supposed to be going somewhere? I’m ready. Let’s get this over with so we can move on with our lives.”
I don’t mention that we’ll be doing this separately.
He heaves a sigh and takes my hand, but I rip it away. “I said no.”
“Selah, I have to touch you if we’re going anywhere.”
“No, you don’t. The last time I checked, I could walk without your help.”
A low growl of frustration rolls from his chest. “Stubborn woman,” he mutters before taking my hand and tugging me tight to the hard planes of his muscled torso. Fire races through me at his touch, the rush of unchecked desire flooding my senses as his scent envelops me. His lips are at my temple, arms holding me close, and the unmistakable hardness of his own arousal presses into my belly. “Close your eyes.”
I do as he asks, but only because the room begins to fade and nausea clutches my stomach. The air around us changes, a cool, sweet-smelling freshness takes over, and behind my closed lids, light begs for me to open my eyes.
He releases me and steps away, the chill in the air mixed with the sudden absence of his body making me shiver. His fingers trail along my cheek in a painfully tender gesture, making me wish I could go back in time and never return home that night I found Adam waiting for me.
“We’re here,” Sariel murmurs.
I blink a few times as I work to get my bearings. Rolling fields of green, bathed in morning light greet me. “Where are we?”
“You’re in Ireland, at my home.” The deep timbre that answers holds a heavy Irish accent and not a little bit of annoyance. Turning toward the sound, I’m brought up short by the immense figure walking across the grass. He’s tall, broad shouldered, and devastatingly handsome with his dark hair and smoldering gaze. “Sariel, when you said you’d be coming for a visit, I didn’t think you meant in an hour.”
“I don’t have time to waste, Galen.”
Galen’s eyes lock on me causing me to squirm under his scrutiny. He’s not happy about us being here, that much is clear. Jutting his chin in my direction, he stares me down but addresses Sariel. “Who’s this, then?”
“She’s mine.”
His? Now I’m his? My heart can’t take much more of this back-and-forth shit. Stepping forward, I extend my hand.
“She is Selah. I’m not his or anyone’s. Nice to meet you. Galen, is it?”
Galen grins, broad and charming, as he takes my offered hand and shakes. “Aye, it’s nice to meet you as well. Very nice.” He glances at Sariel as he continues to hold my hand. “She’s a great beauty, Sariel. I can see why you’d mistake my Reese for her.”
“Step away from her, Galen.” Sariel’s tone is low and fierce, and the possessiveness in his words sends a thrill through me. God help me, but I want him to want me.
The handsome man with my palm in his steps back immediately. He must know who I am to Sariel.
“You’re still an arse, I see,” Galen grumbles.
“How long have you known each other? Wait…you’re not an angel too, are you?”
Sariel chuckles and places a hand on the small of my back. “He’s no angel. Galen was my vessel for close to a century.”
“No…Galen is a vampire. Unless I’m wrong”—I gesture to the sky—“that’s the sun. He’s not on fire.”
Galen chuckles. “It’s a long story.”
“Devin took me on after Galen was staked by a Watcher. I bargained for Galen’s soul to be restored before I’d move on. Gabriel gave him back his humanity.”
“Well, that sums it up. I guess it’s not so long after all.” Galen shrugs and waves us forward. “Come on, then. I’m certain the rest of the family is awake, and Reese’ll be wanting to meet you, Selah.”
Reese. My spine stiffens at her name. Sariel’s hand doesn’t leave my waist as we walk toward the stone house. I want desperately to tuck myself into his side and inhale his comforting scent, but I know I can’t give in to my desire. If I do, he’ll convince me to let him hurt me.
Present day
The warmth of Galen’s home overwhelms me as we walk through the door. Not because it’s uncomfortably hot. Because the life he has is everything I wanted with Selah. It’s loud, even before seven in the morning. His son, Sean, laughs and runs through the living room with a red cape flying behind him and Superman pajamas covering his little body.
“Daddy! You can’t catch me, I’m Superman!” he shouts, blazing a trail past us.
Galen’s eyes find mine, fear in their dark depths for a fleeting moment, until the child turns on his heels and barrels toward his father. Before he can connect with Galen’s legs, the man scoops his son into his arms and runs around the room helping him to fly. “Now you’re really flying. Let’s go find your Ma and show her.”
As they leave the living room, I take time to truly appreciate the cottage. I haven’t been here in years, and the last time I was, there was blood, pain, and death. I remember it clearly, trying to take Galen from Reese in my desperation to find Selah. And now, all I’m left with is guilt. Selah shifts beside me, her scent flooding me with unshakable need. I haven’t fed in close to a week, but I won’t take from her if I can help it.
“This is a nice place.” Her words are like a caress over my skin. Damn it all to hell and back, I need to get away from her.
“It’s old. Galen lived and died in this town. Over a century of history in one man’s footsteps.”
The familiar scent of vanilla hits me before I see Reese. She’s always been beautiful, but the sight of her now washes away my guilt. Walking into the living room with their baby, Ella, in her arms, Reese’s long dark hair tumbling over one shoulder and a gentle smile on her lips, she is the picture of happiness, until her eyes meet mine. Shock lifts her brows and wipes the smile from her mouth.
“Sariel,” she murmurs.
I dip my chin. “Reese.”
Galen follows close behind her, his posture tense. She turns to him and places the baby in his arms before crossing the room. Standing close enough to me that I can feel her warmth, she stares into my eyes and runs her fingers over my brow, my cheek, my jaw.
“This is how I saw you in my dream.”
A soft gasp comes from beside me, and I can’t help but look at Selah. Hurt and anger war for control of her expression.
“Sariel, you’re beautiful,” Reese says.
I don’t miss the grumble that escapes Galen at his wife’s assessment of me.
“As are you, Reese. Motherhood looks wonderful on you.”
Reese turns her attention to Selah. “He found you.”
“Yep.” Selah’s tone is clipped and hard.
My hand slides over Selah’s back, resting just over the curve of her ass. I want her to know Reese isn’t a threat, but she takes a step forward, effectively shutting me down.
“I was just getting breakfast ready. You two hungry?” Reese offers.
Selah speaks before I can. “No. I need to use the bathroom, though. Where is it?”
After pointing Selah in the direction of the restroom, Reese trains her shrewd gaze on me. “She doesn’t like me.”
I shrug. “She doesn’t know you, Reese.”
“She loves you?”
“Yes.”
“But something is wrong?”
“Lucifer claimed her.”
“How?”
Anger burns in my gut. “He tracked me. Targeted her. She’s…pregnant.”
“But you can’t—”
“It’s his.”
Her eyes widen as the color drains from her face. “And you thought bringing her here would be a good idea?”
“She needs to be safe from him…and the archangels. As soon as she’s settled, I’ll find who I need and have protection put in place for her.”
“And the baby?”
I tense. I have no idea what to do about the child. It’s Lucifer’s, which means it will be an abomination. Maybe the witches can give me something to end the pregnancy? A pang of guilt hits
me at the thought of ending an innocent life. But will it be innocent?
“Sariel?” Reese pulls my attention from my thoughts.
“I’m not sure.”
The bathroom door opens from down the hall, and we fall silent as Selah makes her way back to us.
A forced smile on her face, Reese grips my hand and sighs. “Well, coffee’s on, if anyone wants some. Sariel, you two can stay in the room downstairs.”
Picking up Selah’s bag, I lead us down into the lightproof bedroom Galen no longer uses. A shiver runs through her as she settles on the bed.
“It’s cold down here.” She wraps her arms around herself and yawns.
I want to go to her, pull her against me, and offer her my warmth. But I don’t. Instead, I grab a thick knitted blanket from the closet and drape it over her shoulders.
“You should get some sleep. I’ll be upstairs.”
“With Reese?”
She’s jealous. A thrill runs through me at the thought of that. “No. I’m going to ward the house against angels.”
“Aren’t you an angel?”
She has a point.
“If I use my blood, I should be exempt.”
I start up the stairs, but her soft voice calls out my name. Turning, I glance back at her and wonder if she’ll ask me to stay. She bites her lower lip, as though she’s mulling over the words she wants to choose before settling on, “Be careful.”
The room they’ve put me in is like a crypt, silent, cold, and dark. I suppose I should be happy there’s a bed to sleep in, there’s even a bathroom, though I don’t know why a vampire would need that. My body aches from fatigue, limbs heavy, stomach rolling with nausea. Is that morning sickness? Is the fullness in my belly an indication Sariel was right about my pregnancy? The thought of being pregnant with Lucifer’s child makes my skin break out in a cold sweat. I should do everything in my power to end this, to keep his child from being born. But, what if? There’s a niggling part of my brain that says this could be Adam’s child, not the offspring of evil personified. Adam and I hadn’t been chaste, but we rarely had sex. There was still a chance that, even if it couldn’t be Sariel’s, this baby could be human.