by Holly Evans
I wasn’t going to be beaten. I visualised the feeling of Renée’s shadow in my mind and tried to mentally cast about for it. It was no different to trying to find a scent, I told myself as the darkness behind my eyelids grew deeper and more foreboding.
I’d completely lost all physical sensation of the world around me. Time was meaningless. I could have been sitting there for minutes or hours. I had no idea as I floated in the absolute darkness trying to pick up Renée’s trail. The goddess had chosen me. I wasn’t going to give up and allow Alasdair and Grayson to solve this issue. There were wolves depending on me to save their lives.
Something shifted deep within me. A sense of urgency began to filter through the darkness and tug at my lower abdomen. The realisation that I couldn’t feel my body hit me, and panic flooded my system. I tried to open my eyes, only to find they wouldn’t open, that the darkness wouldn’t release me. Calm and focus, Niko. I dug my fingers down into my thighs and desperately clawed at the memory and feeling of the concrete beneath my jeans. It began as only a faint memory, but slowly it came back to a physical sensation. I opened my eyes and gasped for air. I’d never been so glad to feel the cold unrelenting sensation of concrete beneath my ass.
My heart was racing and my stomach growled as though I hadn’t eaten in weeks. I tried to stand, only to find my legs were wobbly. It took me a long moment to realise the warehouse was dark and the sun had set. I must have been there for hours, possibly longer. Turning my phone on, I pushed myself up into a standing position and tried to shake out my legs to get some blood flow back into them. So much for saving the day with my cursed shadow magic.
It took a lot of shaking and stomping to make my limbs respond correctly. The trembling and shivering soon took over. I looked at my phone on the short walk back to the bike and saw Alasdair had called me ten times, and it was almost one am. My stomach growled and tried to chew its way out into the world.
Stroking the bike’s seat, I muttered, “You’re going to have to look after me.”
It was ridiculous, but it was too late to go hunting for food, and I wasn’t going to abandon it and get a taxi. I had limited funds, and the bike was already costing me a fortune.
By some miracle, I made it back to the apartment and Alasdair only rang me once on the way back there. I ignored it. I was going to speak to him in a moment anyway. Yes, I was being selfish and a dick, but I was starving and shaking, and I didn’t really have it in me to give a damn about Alasdair’s feelings and potential lectures.
The door opened as I was trying to get my key out of my pocket. Alasdair put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me, his face etched with worry and concern.
“Goddess, what the fuck happened to you? You’re freezing!”
He pulled me close to him, and I pressed myself against him. He was so damn warm and inviting. His strong arms wrapped around me and held me there while I closed my eyes and let myself drown in his scent and the security he offered.
Fifty
Alasdair led me into the apartment, and I collapsed on the sofa, where he brought me cartons full of something that tasted good and had a spicy kick to it. I didn’t pay any real attention. It had calories that my body was screaming for. Once I’d eaten and had warmed up a bit, Alasdair asked what I’d been doing.
“I was trying to use my shadow magic to find Renée,” I said.
He stroked my cheek and the small creases had formed at the corners of his eyes, softening them.
“Oh, Niko,” he said softly.
“Careful, I’ll think you care,” I said gruffly.
It was a stupid comment, but I was exhausted and pissed that I hadn’t succeeded. All I’d achieved was almost losing myself to the shadow, and the gods only knew how much damage that would cause in the long term. I should have known better, but I needed to help. I couldn’t sit by and let more wolves die.
He ran his thumb over my bottom lip.
“What makes you think I don’t care?” he asked softly.
Gods be with me, he was going to be the end of me. I could lose myself in those beautiful silver eyes, and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to feel his soft lips pressed to mine. He could provide the blissful escape I so desperately needed.
“How could someone as beautiful and respected as you possibly care about me?” I whispered, my gaze drifting down to his lips.
He cupped my face in his hands, and I leaned into him, needed to feel him. That infuriating smirk claimed his mouth as he took his time slowly inching in until he brushed his lips over mine, a featherlight tease that left me needing more. My restraint had been shattered. I needed this.
I dug my fingers into his hair and kissed him hard. Feeling the soft gasp of surprise from him only encouraged me as I nipped his lip to make him open his mouth and allow me to explore with my tongue. He held me gently as I kissed him like he was my salvation. I pulled away and ran my tongue over my lips, tasting him. The smirk was gone from his face, to be replaced with a soft smile.
“You’re my partner, Niko,” he whispered gently, his fingers caressing the nape of my neck.
The word partner struck me and was quickly followed by the deep affection and hope on his face. Life partner. Grayson had told me, and it hadn’t clicked. The goddess had chosen me as his soul bond. Fuck.
I bolted.
I ran for the shower like I was on fire.
I remained in the shower until the water was running icy cold. What had I been thinking? I dragged my fingers through my hair and took my time drying off thoroughly, anything to stall seeing Alasdair. What must he think of me? I wrapped the towel around my waist. I really needed a fresh set of clothes. Alasdair was standing waiting for me, his arms crossed and his gaze hard. I looked down and resisted the urge to dive into the bedroom and try to hide.
“Talk to me, Niko.”
My mind went blank. No words formed, there was just the knot in my throat and the rising panic. He sighed softly and took a step towards me.
“Niko…” he said gently.
The words spilled from my lips unbidden.
“I’m sorry. It’s not you. The gods know you’re the sexiest being I’ve ever laid eyes on, and you make me feel calm and happy, which I haven’t felt since the Making. I’m just scared. I’ve not had a… no, the last and only relationship I ever had, he died. I came to at the Making ritual and there were his eyes, staring at me, accusing me. I don’t know if I did that to him… he was the most beautiful soul, and I might have betrayed him. I’ll never know. What if something like that happens to you? I… I have no idea how to do relationships. I haven’t even had platonic relationships, and you’re incredible, you deserve better. Fuck. Just fuck.”
I looked up to see him smiling at me, a beautiful inviting expression.
“We have centuries ahead of us. It was just a kiss.”
“So, there is a bond…?”
He laughed, a soft chuffing sound that lit up his eyes.
“There is. Would you rather there weren’t?”
I wrinkled my nose.
“The goddess chose me, for you?”
“She did.”
“You didn’t know me… how did you know we’d work?”
There was that smile again.
“The goddess wouldn’t have chosen someone who wasn’t a good fit. Are you coming to bed? You look ready to pass out where you stand.”
I rolled everything around my head. He was right, sleep was what I really needed.
“You’re ok with me being in the bed after I was a dick and ran?”
He walked over and put his arm around my waist.
“I understand. I had thought you were being a tease, but I should have known you were scared.”
I went to argue that I wasn’t scared, but he was right. I was terrified. Give me a horde of rabid redcaps over a romantic relationship any day.
Fifty-One
Waking up in Alasdair’s arms was a very different experience after our talk the night before.
Everything had changed. He kissed the crook of my neck and pulled away before I could really process what I was supposed to do.
“We’re watching over a wolf called Jenny today. Alain has left the city and gone to stay with a cousin’s pack in Bordeaux.”
“Oh, joy, another day perched in a tree,” I muttered.
“Being a Guardian isn’t always like this. There’s lots of running and fighting, too,” Alasdair said, amusement filling his face as he buttoned up his shirt.
He’d put on a pair of pale jeans, and there was no sign of his usual suit. I wasn’t complaining, he filled out the jeans perfectly.
“Are you finally coming around to seeing the light as regards suits?” I asked.
He snorted.
“I ran out of suits. Don’t worry, we’ll get you a number of them.” Wicked delight danced across his face.
I rolled my eyes and pulled on the closest shirt to hand. It had a small hole in the shoulder, but it would do.
“You’re representing the goddess now,” Alasdair said with an eyebrow raised.
“And if she feels that strongly about my choice in shirts she can provide me with some nice new ones, and some alchemically enhanced blades while she’s at it. I feel naked without my knife.”
“Why didn’t you say you’d been without a weapon?”
“I assumed you’d noticed…”
“I just thought you were really good at hiding it.”
How did that sound like an innuendo coming from him? I didn’t even know how he did it.
He pulled a silver knife from his bag. “You can use this one until we get you your own.”
I took it from him and found it to be perfectly balanced. The magic tickled my fingertips and made me smile. I tucked it in the sheath I kept on my boot.
Someone knocked at the door.
“That’ll be Grayson with breakfast.”
“I hope he brought extra, I’m starving,” I said.
He looked me up and down. “I’ve never known someone of your size and frame to eat so much.”
“I burn lots of calories.”
I opened the door and relieved Grayson of the bags of wonderful-smelling food. There were croissants filled to the brim with bacon and eggs, as well as pastries. I’m sure there were other things, but I stuffed them into my mouth before I paid them too much attention.
“Are you sure the goddess is going to be ok paying his food bill?” Grayson asked Alasdair.
I grinned at them both and knocked back my second coffee.
“Let’s go and sit motionless and bored out of minds, shall we?” I said.
Grayson and Alasdair shared a look. Alasdair gave a small shake of his head.
“No, I didn’t fuck him,” I said exasperated.
“Then what put such a bounce in your step?” Grayson asked with a grin.
“It feels like a good day. We’re going to catch Renée and save lives.”
Grayson shook his head in disbelief.
“It’s good to have hope.”
Jenny was working in her garden, and I was sitting in a tree with some amulet that was supposed to hide my location. My left foot was starting to go numb, and I was struggling to keep focused and alert. We’d been there all morning, and there wasn’t any sign of movement or change. Jenny had replanted a flower bed, so that was nice for her.
I was on the verge of closing my eyes and considering getting a nap when I felt it. The shadow tugged at the back of my mind and began to whisper. Renée was near. I pressed the speed dial on my phone, and Alasdair picked up.
“I feel her,” I whispered, trying not to move as I did so.
The clouds were closing in overhead, adding a dark blue hue to the world. The greens of the short grass started to look washed out just before the shadows stretched and shimmered. There she was. We just had to wait for her to step into the circle Grayson had set up. There’d be no escaping this time.
I felt the moment it clicked into place. The shadow took on a soft whining tone as she stepped over the invisible barrier, her focus entirely on Jenny. She moved like a big cat stalking her prey, her steps slow and deliberate. Jenny hadn’t looked up from her flower bed despite Renée’s moving across the expanse of open lawn towards her. Alasdair started moving; I saw the motion between the trees. That was my cue.
Renée was trapped within our circle. Now all we had to do was close in and knock her out. Selene wanted her alive so she could interrogate her. We hadn’t made any promises on that front. I jumped down out of my tree, my ears pricked as I watched her. She didn’t so much as blink as we began closing in around her - Grayson behind her, Alasdair and I on either side. We all emerged from the trees and stepped out onto the lawn and into the circle.
Renée’s head snapped around, and she stared me down. Slowly, a cruel smile spread across her mouth, and the whispers of the shadow became a full-blown serenade. They erupted from her hands and appeared out of thin air all around her. My own shadow magic surged forward and tried to defend me. I pulled my knife and ran towards her. Grayson and Alasdair were tied down by shadows wrapped tightly around their ankles. They were hacking and slashing, but the shadows regrew every time they sliced through. It was me and her.
Fifty-Two
I couldn’t get close to her. Renée gleefully danced around me, the shadows wrapping around her like a ball gown that twisted and moved of its own accord. Jenny had had the good sense to run inside and bolt the door behind her.
“How quaint, you think a door will keep me out,” Renée mocked.
I kept trying to push in close to her and sliced at the shadows with the knife, but they just ducked away and regrew again. I wasn’t getting anywhere as Renée slowly made her way towards Jenny’s house. My shadow magic was just below the surface. I could taste it coating my tongue. The serenade was deafening. It called to me. It was almost begging me. What choice did I have?
I had no idea what I was doing, but I did know that I wasn’t going to let Renée walk out of there. I allowed my shadow to come forwards, and everything suddenly changed. The shadow around Renée was no longer merely shadow, I could feel it in my mind. I reached out with my mind and called a piece away from her feet, and it obeyed. It slithered across the grass and stretched up to graze my fingertips with the edge of itself. Renée screamed in rage.
“How dare he choose an abomination over me! I have been a dedicated student!”
She threw the shadow at me, great swathes of darkness shooting towards my face. I instinctively put my hands up, and the shadow stopped there. When I parted my hands, the shadow moved with them. Renée was white with rage. She spun around and threw her hands towards Grayson and Alasdair. Shadow engulfed their faces, forcing them to claw and try to drag the shadow away as they choked.
I reached my mind out and pulled the shadow away from them. It resisted me. I could feel the slipperiness of it as I struggled to get a mental hold on it. Grayson fell to his knees. I was running out of time. Something clicked into place, and the shadow stripped away from both of them. Renée threw herself at me. She tried to claw my eyes out. I heard shouts from Alasdair, but I had to try and grapple with Renée while stopping the shadow from wrapping around my throat.
My focus was split between fighting with the shadow, which kept trying to strangle me, and Renée, who was punching me with everything she had. I punched her in the jaw and knocked her off balance before I kicked her in the ribs with everything I had. Her eyes went wide, but the shadows took advantage of my slip in focus and began to fill my mouth and slide down my throat. I mentally drove them out only to find Renée running for Jenny’s house as though her life depended on it.
I glanced back to see Alasdair and Grayson fighting a trio of hunters. Renée must have brought them in with grand promises. I quickly concluded that Alasdair and Grayson could look after themselves. I took off after Renée and tackled her to the ground. I drove my knee into her lower back and grabbed a handful of her hair, which I used to slam her face into the w
ooden railway sleeper at the edge of one of the flowerbeds. She groaned and tensed before she began writhing beneath me. I slammed her face down into the sleeper again, harder.
The shadow proceeded to caress my throat and what I can only describe as purr in my ear. I put all of my mental strength into pushing it away, only to feel something wrong. There was a crack, a rough edge that shadow was seeping through. I growled. Why couldn’t this be simple?
Renée was unconscious, the others were fighting the hunters, and my instincts were telling me I needed to close that crack. Taking a deep breath, I allowed my instincts to take over and prayed the goddess was watching over me. In my mind’s eye, the crack was a shimmering tear in the air in the middle of Jenny’s herb garden. It was the crack that we’d been warned about. If I didn’t close it, then the shadow god would step into our world. Death and destruction would reign.
I reached out and tugged the edges of it together. They were cool and smooth as silk beneath my fingertips. I struggled to keep a hold of them. Something on the other side was roaring and trying to pull them out of my grasp. My energy was draining quickly. Trying to mentally heal the crack was taking everything I had. My instincts told me to weave a patch over the crack. I again allowed them to take over and prayed the goddess was with me.
Small pale-silver threads began to form over the crack that was trembling beneath my touch. Whatever was on the other side was fighting hard. My hands were going numb where I was gripping the fabric of the veil as hard as I could. Fear that I wasn’t strong enough threatened to consume me. My body was growing heavy as I pressed the seams of the veil together and wove the delicate threads back and forth, sealing it shut.