by Cee, Sammi
Because there wasn’t too much space back there for the big trucks to drive through, generally, only Fisher parked along the back fence. I’d noticed earlier when I went to get something out of Fisher’s vehicle for him, that Caleb’s SUV was out there as well, parked behind Fisher but in front of the huge baby blue boat of a car that had appeared around four months ago and seemed to have been abandoned there. We kept waiting for the building’s landlord or the police to ticket it or tow it, but so far, it still sat there.
A new burst of energy rushed through me, my blood loud in my ears as I stumbled to the back, hoping and praying with all my might that the blue boat car would be unlocked. I went to the front door and checked, but the handle held firmly. Too desperate to give up, I jerked up the handle on the back passenger seat door and… it moved. It didn’t open, but there had been a slight hesitation and a catch. Using both my hands, I yanked up again and felt a crack, and then… it swung open. I dove into the car’s back seat and scrambled in and shut the door. Finally, after hours, the cold moisture attacking my face and neck were gone. If I wasn’t frozen, inside and out, I’d cry with the sheer relief of no longer being blown around by the freezing wind.
After taking several deep steading breaths, I began to check the interior of the car. The one street lamp outside provided little light with the swirling crap outside still coming down, but it was enough for me to get my bearings.
Please no dead body. Please no human bones. Please no live animals.
But there wasn’t anything traumatizing or cruel, there were bottles of waters on the floorboard to my right. When I leaned forward between the seats, I found a mound of… blankets? Now that I’d escaped outside, my hands were beginning to stiffen and hurt, but I pushed through and dragged the blankets upfront into the back with me, one by one. On top was a plain sheet, but below it were two sleeping bags, and below that was the thickest, fluffiest comforter I’d ever felt.
As I leaned back so that I could make a nest to burrow into, I noticed the pile of pillows in the driver’s seat. Huh. My condition was still not ideal by any stretch. I didn’t even let myself fantasize about a hot steaming bath or warm clothes to slide into, but I lifted the center console wondering what else my guardian angels had left me.
A dry, hoarse laugh escaped when I found a couple of protein bars, a package of chocolate chip cookies, and two packages of chocolateTwinkies. Yep, my guardian angels were definitely Della and Ben. She’d joked repeatedly that the car looked like a good place to hide, and he was always asking me if I’d seen that movie yet where Twinkies never went bad. If they hadn’t possibly just saved my life, I’d be pissed at their interference, but as it was, I sent a silent thank you up into the air as I assembled my bed.
The damp chill in the interior of the car didn’t come close to how briskly, wickedly cold it had been outside the car, so I made the call to get out of my wet clothes and truly burrow into the dry blankets I’d been left. My whole body trembled, and I seriously worried I’d be sick tomorrow, but for now, being dry was all that mattered. My clothes matted and clung to my body, making it hard to peel them off, but I hung off the edge of my seat and stripped all the way down. The minute my boxer briefs hit the ground, I dove under the covers and wrapped up like a burrito.
Exhaustion drove me toward sleep, but I’d only had a few bites of Caleb’s delicious sauce and pasta before I’d realized it was sleeting, so my growling stomach kept me awake. Moving my hands, and as little of my forearms as possible, I opened a bottle of water and took a few sips. Then I ripped open one of the packages of Twinkies that I’d brought into the back with me. I’d never tried this kind before, but after one bite, I knew why Ben was a fan. With my hunger slightly appeased, I drank another couple sips of water, then ate a mint chocolate chip protein bar before finishing off the bottle of water. When I assured Della tomorrow that I’d had a protein bar, since I knew she’d ask when I thanked them for saving my life, I’d keep the fact I ate the Twinkie first to myself until I could tell Ben alone. That would be our little secret.
My breath swirled in the cold air of the car each time I leaned too far out of the blankets, but before I went to sleep, I wanted to set an alarm. I’d own up to everyone tomorrow that I’d had to seek refuge in this car, and then argue with whoever tried to get me to come home with them, but I didn’t want to be late in the morning and worry Avi, nor did I want Fisher to arrive and see me lying back here; or even worse, Caleb. I groaned aloud at the thought of Chef Krankin finding out they had a homeless kid helping him, one who slept naked in the back seat of a baby blue car, one that was probably older than either of us. How humiliating.
After unzipping my trusty backpack, I pulled out the small throw that I’d grabbed from the back of Saul’s recliner and unwrapped the battery operated alarm clock hidden inside it from my room at Saul’s. I set it for early in the morning and settled it down snuggly between the water bottles, then tucked the folded throw under my head, on top of the pillow, and closed my eyes.
You’d think after the long, miserable night I’d had that I’d pass out, dead to the world. Instead, now that my brain had a chance to rest and reflect on the day, I dwelled on Caleb’s every move. I wondered what it felt like to be as confident in what you did as Caleb was. Even though it was a new kitchen to him, he moved around it like he’d been with us for months.
I’d watched him covertly as he assembled the ingredients for his sauce, hiding my own smile at the satisfaction he couldn’t contain as he threw in ingredients and stirred, sniffing every few moments like his taste buds were in his nose. And was it strange I thought he had a cute nose? I’d never thought that about anyone before, except maybe a baby, but each time he leaned over the pot and inhaled, my eyes were drawn to the flare of his nostrils. I’d had to resist the desire to ask him exactly what he smelled, what it meant to him. Then when he’d finally dipped a spoon in to taste his creation after it had been simmering on the stove, the low hum that issued out of his mouth had caused my mind to go straight to the gutter. I’d wanted to go over and ask him if I could sample it, too.
Over the years, when times were tough, I’d find the place in my mind where everything was good and peaceful by visualizing something that would make me happy. Since I was alone in the car, wet and miserable, I allowed myself for tonight, in my loneliness and desperation, to visualize what I’d secretly longed to happen today.
I was back in the kitchen and Caleb called me over and lifted a spoonful of sauce from the pot, pursing his lips to blow on it gently, before raising it to my lips. I slowly sipped it from the spoon, humming my appreciation and driving him mad like he had me. He yanked me into his arms, whispering, “I want a taste, too,” before claiming my lips and licking into my mouth.
As I smiled at my fantasy, I felt my body go lax and my mind floated even further into dreamland.
Chapter Seven
Caleb
The drive over to the woods had been fruitless and depressing. There hadn’t been any sign of Jasper. I knew Takoda had a couple of shelters; okay, I admitted to myself, I only knew that because I’d heard Fisher talking about it. But surely there was another one or other places that took people in when the weather was this bad—a church or something. My stomach gurgled uneasily, bile filling my throat at how many tents were set up. It wasn’t right. Could all those people really survive the night?
The only man who’d come out and talked to me had said that the shelters filled up quickly on nights like this, and once they were at capacity everyone else waiting in line was turned away. I couldn’t imagine having to be that person, the one telling people there was no room for them and turning them back out into the shitty weather to deal with Mother Nature’s wrath. But I knew that Jasper had still been at the soup kitchen when the doors for any kind of refuge had opened, which meant…
Driving around aimlessly, I contemplated where to even look for him. I seriously couldn’t imagine what someone who had nowhere to live or go at the end of
the day did. This situation was so far out of my wheelhouse, but giving up wasn’t an option. I couldn’t go home and sleep and pretend he wasn’t out here, probably half-frozen. At least the damn sleet and snow had stopped.
Berating myself, I thought back over my time at the soup kitchen so far. I’d followed Fisher around, learning the system he had created or I’d been cooking. Jasper had been with us most of the time, a silent presence in the background, unless Fisher specifically included him into a conversation or asked him a question. He’d easily interacted with others who’d come into the kitchen, but only if I was busy with something else. Could I blame him? The only words I’d contributed must have felt like I was showing off because, let’s face it, I had been. It was for him, but still...
What did he care about the past recognition I’d received for my food or how skilled I was at chopping an onion? He’d only cared that the food I made for them was edible and filling. A point he’d driven home earlier when he’d corrected my menu. Even then, instead of recognizing what he was telling me, I’d silently licked my wounds all day, upset that he’d rejected my offer to make him something I knew he loved. I groaned. Of course, he’d rejected it. Unlike me, Jasper was a good person and he’d put the good of the whole, all those who needed food to fill their empty bellies, before himself. I’d been acting like a lovesick teenager trying to show the cute boy how impressive I was.
Dammit. How selfish was I? Applying for this job had been so much about me and my own desire to escape my parents’ world, I hadn’t actually taken a good look at the service the soup kitchen was providing or how important it was to the people who swallowed their pride day after day and came through those doors. I was such a schmuck.
Another hour passed with no sign of Jasper, but I’d seen others peering out at me through the night from inside their sleeping bags or behind whatever stray box or whatever they’d found. People all shaking and hunched together trying to survive the night. I’d driven through the back of parking lots and checked between dumpsters, but I didn’t know what I was doing. Giving up felt like failure, so I decided to go back to the soup kitchen. It was three in the morning and no one else would be there, but I had the key. I knew Jasper arrived earlier than anyone else each morning and waited to be let in, so maybe if I was there, he’d see my SUV and come in.
Pulling into the lot, I decided to park right next to the back door instead of my normal space. My gaze flickered over to the eye sore of a car that had just sat like a big blue monster in the back of the building. I kept meaning to ask Fisher if he knew who owned it. My thought each day when I arrived was how junky it looked. After all I’d learned in the last several hours, I understood why no one else seemed to pay attention to a single vehicle sitting out there. It wasn’t what they were here for. It was unimportant and irrelevant compared to the lives they were feeding.
As I stopped next to the building and got out, I swung back to stare at the car. The ground was more wet than anything since the snow had started after the sleet, but the combination was enough for something to look off about the car. The normally undisturbed vehicle looked like it had… in the glow of the light it was obvious there had been movement. I was sure of it.
Praying that my eyes weren’t deceiving me, or that I wouldn’t open the doors to find God knows who, or even worse, I made my way gingerly to the car to peek inside. I wiped the window off with my glove and peered in, seeing nothing but a mound of blankets. Disappointment choked me, so I turned to head into the warmth of the building and as I did, I saw the familiar blue and green plaid pattern. It was the backpack Jasper swung over his shoulder before he left each night.
Relief and dread in equal measures filled me. Yanking the door open, I dove in. “Jasper. Jasper. Are you in here?”
The mound moved, then groaned.
Too desperate to check on him to worry about decorum, I leaned over the moving lump and gently shook him when I felt his small body, not knowing or caring where my hand lay. “Jasper, Jasper.”
Another groan.
I started frantically tugging on the blanket where his black hair had appeared at the top. “Jasper, are you okay?”
“I’m cold.”
I’d been worried about him since the minute I’d found out he headed out alone into the night with nowhere to go, but true fear gripped my heart at the faint sound of his voice. “Jasper, come on. Let’s get you out of here. I’m taking you to the emergency room.”
“Wh-what?” he asked as his face finally appeared and he blinked groggily up at me.
“There you are.” I reached in and pushed the hair from his face. It was damp, but I couldn’t tell if it was from the outside or if he had a fever.
“Caleb?” he asked, confused. “What are you doing here? Is it morning already?” His gaze slid past me to the window.
“No. It’s the middle of the night. I’ve been searching for you everywhere. Come on. We have to get you checked out.”
He shook his head and scooted up, pushing my hand from his clammy skin. “No. No. I’m okay. I don’t need to go to the hospital. Can”—he licked his lips—“can you just take me inside so I can change and warm up?”
Keeping my eyes from roaming down to the smooth, pale skin that came into view when he moved, I asked, “Have you been in this car the whole time?”
A shiver visibly raked his body and he pulled up the blankets, clutching them up under his chin. “No, I uh… I had to go find my friends, and I couldn’t, and the cop wouldn’t let me stay, so I came back here.”
He didn’t make any sense, and he sounded like he had a frog in his throat, but he wasn’t coughing or anything. Now that he was awake, his eyes cleared and some of the dread of what condition I’d find him in, if I found him, slipped away. He wasn’t dying. “Okay, well, we have to get you warmed up. Where’s your shirt?”
His gaze fell to the floorboard and I kept my expression neutral when I saw boxers laying on a pile of wet clothes. Was he naked under those blankets? Ignoring that, I reached down to grab them, immediately stopping when I felt how soaked through they were. “Well, you can’t put those back on.”
“I… I can. If you go open the door to the building, I’ll just— “
“No,” I said, my voice clipped. “They’re soaking wet and frozen. I’ll just carry you to my car.”
“To your car? Carry me?” he asked, voice rising in alarm.
“Yes, to my car. If you aren’t willing to go to the hospital, I’m taking you home with me. You need a hot—“
“Warm,” he interrupted.
“What?”
“Warm, I… I’m really cold. If it’s too hot, it’ll hurt. I need to…” He cut off as his teeth started chattering.
“That’s it. Enough conversation. It’s freezing out here. Let’s go.”
“But—“
“No buts, Jasper. You’re coming with me.” I eyed him and the heap of blankets he had wrapped around, trying to decide how best to pick him up.
His pale face flushed with color, whether from embarrassment or anger I wasn’t sure. “Um...okay, just let me get my stuff.” He leaned forward, letting the blankets drop to reveal the creamy flesh of his back as he grabbed his backpack and shoved what looked like an old-fashioned alarm clock into it. I averted my gaze so that I wouldn’t perv on him in his time of need. Jesus. How fucking selfish was I?
When he sat back up, he said, “I’ll just put my boots on so I can walk. You don’t have to carry me.”
Rolling my eyes, I ignored him and wedged in between the door and back seat, yanking him down and slipping my arms under him. He squeaked, then quickly cleared his throat in an effort to cover it. For the first time all night, I grinned.
Carefully I maneuvered him out of the car, cautious not to hit his head and thankful for the sheer size of the back door of this big ass car. The concrete was slick, so I walked cautiously to the back passenger door of my own car with Jasper stiff in the bulky blankets in my arms and laid him down. I’d
never been more grateful for the height of this luxurious vehicle.
There were no words exchanged between us, other than his mumbled “Thanks,” once he was settled. I started my SUV, turning the heat on for the car and for the seats on blast, then quickly, I ran back to the blue car, grabbed all of his clothes, including his soaking outerwear that laid beneath his crumpled clothes and headed back to my car.
The sound of the heat blowing almost covered Jasper’s faint snores as I got back into the car. Instead of waking him, I headed back to my house, though part of me really wanted to disregard his wishes and take him to the emergency room to get checked out. After all I’d seen tonight though, I was very aware of the number of people that needed help, and I was pretty sure Jasper would resent my interfering anymore than I already was. There was a strong possibility he’d be pissed that me, some guy who’d been strutting around like an asshole peacock, had been the one to find him sleeping so helplessly. That was a worry for tomorrow, so I sped home so that I could get him into a hot—make that a warm bath, and brew him coffee to thaw his insides.
Jasper didn’t wake up until I shut off the engine once we were safely enclosed in my garage. Behind me he squeaked, “You didn’t really bring me to your house, did you?”
Chapter Eight
Jasper
“Yes, I did,” Caleb said sharply. “You’re soaked through, frozen, and naked. What else was I going to do with you?”
Struggling to sit up to regain some of my dignity, I replied, “I had clothes in the building. If you had just taken me in, I could’ve washed off and gotten dressed in there.”