by Trudy Stiles
“Ugh,” she says. “What the hell is Todd doing with him? Isn’t he like a senior in college or something? What a perv coming to a high school party.” She smiles through her teeth as Brad and Todd join us near the pool.
“Hey,” Brad says to Cassie. He smiles quickly at me but then fixes his gaze back on her.
“Hi, Brad. I didn’t know you were coming tonight,” she says unconvincingly.
“Yeah.”
Todd Mitchell strolls toward me and drapes his heavy arm over my shoulder.
“I’m Todd. You’re hot.”
My skin burns from his touch, and I squirm out from underneath him. Everything about Todd screams run. He’s so creepy, and I’ve heard stories about him from Cassie’s older cousin. He’s rarely home from school, but when he is, he’s constantly trolling for hookups. It’s funny, but Brad is nothing like him. He’s actually the exact opposite.
“Cassie, let’s go swimming,” I say, hoping to get away from this ogre of a guy. I notice Brad and Todd aren’t wearing their bathing suits, so we should be safe in the water for a while.
“Okay, that sounds like fun.” She giggles and shimmies out of her cover-up. Todd’s eyes turn dark and Brad pushes him toward the pool house.
“Todd, thanks for the ride. You can go now,” Brad says. I can see the embarrassment on his face that he’s even related to this asshole.
“I think I’ll hang out for a bit.” He walks away, leering at other girls.
Cassie and I run toward the pool and we jump in holding hands. As soon as we hit the water, we each grab for our own bikini tops to make sure they’re still in place. I hope the cool water sobers her up a little bit.
“Oh, this feels amazing!” she cries. Everything is amazing tonight to Cassie.
We slowly float toward the cozy corner of the pool where Trish and some other girls from our class are lounging.
“Trish, hey!” Cassie says.
“Girls.” Trish smiles and takes a sip of her electric lemonade. “I see Brad finally made it, Cassie.”
Cassie giggles and looks back toward the pool house. Brad and Todd aren’t in sight, and I know she regrets leaving his side.
“Have you guys had sex yet?” Trish asks, loud enough for all of the other girls to hear. Their heads all turn inquisitively.
“What?” Cassie responds, embarrassed.
“Seriously, Cassie. Don’t you think it’s about time?” Piper chimes in.
Now I regret coming into the pool and subjecting Cassie to this inquisition. I know we both have a pact to wait to have sex until we’re at least eighteen. That’s a little more than two years away. I’m not worried, because I have no prospects on the horizon, but the way Cassie has been flirting with Brad lately, she could be jeopardizing our virgin pact.
“Ladies.” Brad’s voice is behind me, and Cassie immediately turns bright red.
He steps past the girls and wades into the pool toward Cassie. “You have a bathing suit?” she practically stammers.
“Of course. It’s a pool party, isn’t it?” He splashes her playfully and pulls her further into the water, away from us. Her eyes widen with delight and she flashes a smile just for the girls to see and be jealous.
“Well, I guess that answers our question,” Piper says. “If it hasn’t happened yet, it sure will tonight!” Her entourage laughs along with her, and I duck under the water, muffling their chuckles and voices. Trish’s pool is huge and seems to weave through her backyard like at a sprawling resort. I swim toward the shadows of the pool so I can hide from them all and relax. I see Cassie and Brad flirting over by the waterfall, so I turn around and follow the pool toward the quiet end, giving them a little privacy.
I lean back and float, closing my eyes. I remember the conversation I had earlier tonight with my parents and smile thinking about how happy they were. I can’t believe they’re having a baby. We’re having a baby. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like, but I know that seeing my parents that happy makes me happy. My ears are filled with water, and I can only hear muted giggles through the water. I let the water guide me through the curves of the gigantic pool. It’s almost like a river. I hear my soft breaths in my ears as my chest expands and contracts slowly.
This is how I relax.
Back when I was seven and I had the accident in my pool, my parents immediately got me a swim instructor who taught me how to float before anything else. She said I could get out of any pool if I rolled onto my back and let the waves take me slowly to the edge. I could float for hours on end in my pool and it in turn made me get over any anxiety that I had in the water. As soon as I got past my nerves, I became one with the water and never looked back. I was like a little fish, as my parents would call me, spending hours upon hours floating and enjoying the pool. I had overheard my father tell my mother that he was so glad they had made the investment that they did in the pool. I know Mom used to think it was a dangerous ‘hole in the ground,’ but Dad insisted that it would bring our family many years of fun. He was right.
My face is barely out of the water. Only my nose and mouth are exposed to the warm night air. The party noises are barely audible as I float through the pool.
Suddenly, I’m underwater, strong hands wrapped around my ankles, pulling me deeper and deeper. I start kicking, but I’m not strong enough. My lungs burn, and I wave my arms in the water, trying to gain momentum so I can reach the surface. A hand loosens from my ankle, but one still holds tight. I bend my body so I can see what’s happening.
Todd Mitchell’s face is all I see underwater. His eyes glow like lanterns, and his face contorts into a grisly smile. I let out the air that’s crushing my chest and force all of the strength I have into kicking both of my legs, mermaid style. He lets go of me for a second, and that’s all I need. I kick as fast and hard as I can toward the surface, and as soon as the warm air hits my face, I scream louder than I ever have before. “Help! Over here!” I pant and gasp for air, and I hear him surface behind me, his body pressed against me from behind.
“I was just playing with you, baby.” His rough hand fondles my ass and I raise my heel, kicking him in the balls. “Ugh!” he grunts, and Brad swims up behind us with Cassie in tow.
“Is everything okay here?” Brad asks, his eyes worried.
“Sam?” Cassie asks hesitantly.
I reach the side of the pool and pull myself out in one motion, looking back at Todd as he tries to regain his monstrous composure. I know I kicked him hard, and I hope I busted at least one of his nuts, if not both. His glare causes chills to run down my spine.
“I’m fine,” I say and look at the pool house. I see the large dial on the clock that hangs outside above the bar. “It’s almost midnight, Cass. Your mom will be here any minute.”
I look at Todd again to make sure he doesn’t get out of the pool with us. I swipe my cover up and shoes and grab Cassie’s things as well.
“I’m coming!” she calls after me as I head up to the house. “Brad, call me tomorrow?”
“Sure,” he says, and then I hear him say, not so quietly, “Todd, what the fuck?”
Todd chuckles and another chill runs up my spine.
Cassie’s mom is waiting for us, as I predicted. We wrap towels around us and ride home in silence. She’s super excited about something but looks worried at the same time.
“Did you girls have a fun time tonight?”
“It was great, Mom.” She giggles.
“Hey, what happened with Todd?” she whispers in my ear. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay.” I think.
“What did he do to you?” she asks.
Her mother chimes in from the front seat, “What happened? Is everything alright?”
“Todd Mitchell was being a royal ass tonight. He was messing with Sam in the pool, and I think she kicked him in the nuts,” Cassie announces proudly.
“Are you okay, dear?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say and hope that I never see his face agai
n.
“I can’t imagine why Todd Mitchell would be at a high school party. And why isn’t he at college where he’s supposed to be?”
“Isn’t he like twenty-five? He’s in his like tenth year of college!” Cassie smirks and I cringe.
I have no idea how old Todd Mitchell is. My skin is still crawling from that menacing look in his eyes.
“I think you girls should stay away from that boy, okay? I don’t think Todd is a very nice young man,” Cassie’s mom says, matter-of-fact.
Nope. Neither do I.
Garrett
Past
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Age 19
THE CROWD ROARS as Alex’s voice fills the room.
“Jaded…” he screams. “Weary…”
I stop strumming, and the room becomes silent as all eyes focus on Alex. His breaths are the only sound heard through the speakers.
The drums beat one last time, and he whispers into the mic, “Alone.”
The room erupts with screams and applause and we’re finished with our set.
That’s always the perfect song to end with because it draws raw emotion from the fans. I look through the rows and rows of people rushing the stage, trying to find the record label executive who is supposed to be here tonight. I finally find her, seated at a small round table, feverishly writing notes in her spiral-bound book. She has a smile on her face.
Good.
Based on Dax’s research, this label is the one to go with. He handles most of the business side of things, and he’s confident this will be the best deal for us as a band. I trust him—I guess I have to.
Alex disappears into the crowd and I make my way to the back. Dax and Tristan are already there. I throw myself onto the couch, my fingers still vibrating from my guitar.
“That was amazing!” Tristan shouts, and I nod in agreement.
“Dax, that chick from the label was out there, and man she looked happy. I have a good feeling about this,” I say, and Dax frowns.
“Don’t get your hopes up, G. Who knows what they’re going to offer us. I do know that part of their offer is likely to require a three-record deal. That type of deal makes me nervous. We’re committing to so much. I’m not sure Alex will agree.”
“What does it matter if he agrees or not?” I ask, annoyed that Dax always keeps Alex in the top of his mind.
“Because he’s our songwriter. Without his words, we have nothing. He needs to be all in or we don’t sign shit.” Dax tosses his drumsticks onto the couch next to him and rubs his hands together. He’s nervous.
“Where’s Alex?” Dax asks.
“He said something about a girl and he jumped off the stage to find her in the audience.” Tristan smirks.
“Dude, we don’t need him getting all serious with a chick,” I state. “As Dax said, he needs to be all in. We can’t have his dick leading the charge.”
Dax nods his head in agreement and Tristan snickers. “Man, how long have you known Alex? He’s never been led by his dick.” He falls over onto his side and laughs hysterically.
“I’m going to see what’s up with the label exec. I’ll be back in a few.” Dax gets up and leaves the room.
“He’s so uptight.” I shrug. “That dude needs to get laid.”
“Says the ladies’ man.” Tristan laughs again. “That reminds me, what happened with that blonde the other night. Did you bang her in the bathroom?”
“So what if I did.” I don’t know her name, but I most certainly did bang her in the bathroom. Twice.
“She was hot. She had her eye on you all night.”
I remember spotting her in the crowd from the stage. She stared at me like I was the only one there, and she made me feel really good afterwards.
I wonder if she’s here tonight.
I’m about to get up when Dax comes back into the room, excited. “She just gave me her card and told me to call her in the morning. They’re working up an offer as we speak!” He can barely contain himself as he high-fives Tristan.
“That’s amazing, bro!” I shout, thinking about the blonde again. “I’m going to try to find someone,” I say as Alex comes rushing through the door.
He’s muttering to himself, and he’s not happy.
“Alex, you’re never going to believe this,” Dax says, and then his expression changes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he mumbles and throws himself down on the couch. “What are you so happy about?” he scowls.
“The record label is working on an offer, and we should have it first thing tomorrow morning,” Dax says.
“Great. Exciting.” Alex isn’t the least bit excited.
“Care to share why you’re being a royal douchebag right now?” I ask.
“It’s none of your business,” he spits.
“Whatever,” I say and get up. “Congrats, everyone. I’m looking forward to tomorrow, Dax. Don’t worry, it’s going to be a great offer.”
I walk out of the room, and I hear Dax ask Alex about some girl he saw him with. The door shuts behind me before I can hear anything else.
I spot the blonde as soon as I enter the bar, and I’m ready to find another room in this place. She sees me too and makes her way across the crowded room. Just before she reaches me, my cell phone vibrates in my pocket. The only people who have this number are the guys and my mother. Since I know it’s not Alex, Dax or Tristan, I realize it can only be Mom.
What could she be calling about? She called me as soon as I woke up this morning so she and Bill could sing “Happy Birthday” to me.
I swipe to answer and I hear her soft voice. “Garrett?”
It’s loud in the bar area, so I hold up my finger when the blonde reaches me and I mouth, I’ll be right back. She smiles and her full lips are so inviting. I back up into the quiet hallway behind the bar.
“Mom, can you hear me?” I ask, covering my exposed ear while I hold the phone to the other one.
“Yes, I can hear you,” she says, and I can immediately tell by the tone of her voice that something is wrong.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, worried.
“No, it’s not,” she immediately replies. “Garrett, I’m so sorry to be calling you with this news. Especially on your birthday.”
“Is Bill, I mean, Dad okay?” I ask, terrified she’s about to tell me something bad happened to him.
“Yes, Bill’s okay. But…” She pauses and I swallow hard.
What’s going on?
“Mom?” I ask again, urging her to tell me what happened.
“But your father, he’s—he’s dead.”
I close my eyes and breathe deeply. Dead?
“Are you okay, Mom?” I ask. I know that she’s feeling this, hard. She did everything she could to save her marriage when I was a kid. She was the glue that held us together. After he left, she remained the glue and filled our house with more love than I could imagine. We didn’t need that fucker in our lives.
“I don’t know,” she says, and I hear her sobbing through the phone.
“Tell me what to do. What can I do?” I beg her, and her sobbing just gets louder. I hear a muffled voice coming from her side, and Bill is consoling her.
“Garrett?” His voice is solid and strong.
“Bill, tell me she isn’t this upset. She can’t be, that asshole made her miserable. Tell her I’m okay. I’m fine.” I don’t want her to worry about me. I don’t feel anything for him.
“There’s more to it than that. John’s dead, but…” He stops and I swallow hard.
“How?” I ask.
“He killed himself.”
Sam
Present
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Age 23
I WAKE WITH A SMALL JOLT OF PAIN down my neck. I feel a weight in my arms and realize I’m still holding Kai. My feet never stopped rocking us back and forth, even though I had fallen asleep. He’s swaddled tightly and breathing quickly. This is a sign that he’ll wake up soon.
His short fits of sleep are constantly interrupted by the pain he feels throughout his body.
I’ve become in tune with his irregular schedule over the past month and can sense when he’s about to start wailing. I get myself ready to absorb his pain, and I recline the rocker so I’m lying back. I unbutton my shirt and slide it off so I’m wearing just my sports bra, then I swiftly remove the tight swaddling from his body. He’s only wearing a diaper as I press his warm body against my chest. He stiffens and begins to scream his painful cries. Each one tears through me worse than the last. I feel it all. He stiffens more and arches his back, lifting his head off of my chest. His cries become more frantic, and I reach for the warm blanket that’s hanging over the side of the chair. I wrap it around my shoulders and hold him firmly against my chest as I hum softly. After about twenty minutes, he begins to slowly relax into me as I continue to melodically hum near his ear. The vibrations from my chest finally soothe him.
I close my eyes and transfer my warmth into his little body, pulling the blanket over him tighter. A sound from the corner startles me, and Garrett slowly emerges from the shadows.
“Oh my God,” he says softly and walks toward me, his head hung low.
I haven’t seen much of him over the past four weeks. After I attempted to give him an introductory course in caring for a drug-addicted baby, he’s barely been here. He wasn’t kidding when he said he had no intentions of taking care of his son. He hired me to do a job and I’m doing it, kick-ass I might add. Aunt Peggy claims to not know where he’s been hiding out, and I’m sure it’s been in a fancy hotel with some groupie.
“Get out,” I whisper, trying not to disturb the rhythm I’ve created for Kai.
“Is he okay?” he asks, and I can’t believe there’s actual concern in his voice.
“He is for now, but he’ll start screaming if you stay in here. Please leave.”
He ignores my request and sinks onto the day-bed across from Kai’s crib. That bed is meant for me, but I haven’t slept in it yet. This chair is the only bed I’ve known since I moved in, and Kai has yet to see the inside of that crib.