The sisters took turns telling me stories about Brody's childhood, each one more embarrassing and emasculating than the last. Getting to know them was fun, something I had forgotten about after my initiation. I'd forgotten how social and extroverted I was, how much I liked being around other people.
It felt good.
I felt good.
I'd have to remember to apologize to Brody's mother the next time I saw her.
I couldn't understand why other practitioners weren't doing the same. I'd ask Amari about it when I saw him.
All our sandwiches were done, yet I didn't want lunch to end. That was just silly because all of us had work to do, right?
Blaire tried to hug me as she left, but I wasn't quite there yet. I gave her a pat on the shoulder instead.
"Come visit soon, OK?"
"OK," I said. I meant it, too.
"That was easy, right?" Brody asked as the door closed behind his sisters.
"Thank you for making me try your way, Brody," I said with a full-on grin.
"You're welcome. I'm glad you met them. I'm also glad you found yourself again. I can feel how happy, and, I don't know, how full you are."
Full seemed a strange word to use.
"Not full like physical fullness, more like emotionally fulfilled. You feel content."
"That's the nature of an extrovert. I'd just forgotten I was one," I said and smiled to myself. Reclaiming my spot on Brody's couch, I put in the earphones again.
"No," I whispered when I opened the laptop. "No, no, no!"
"What?" Brody asked."
"It's gone again!" I said, yanking the earphones from my head. I let hot anger replace the sick feeling of loss in my stomach. "This can't be happening again!"
"Shit," Brody said and sat next to me.
"It should have been open; I didn't close the writing program. It should have been on the screen when I opened the laptop," I said, running yet another search on the entire machine. "How can this happen again?"
"Come on." He pulled me up by the arm.
"Where are we going? I have to—," Brody took my laptop, tucked it under his arm, and pulled me across his office and out the door before I could put up a fight. "Where are we going, Brody?" I demanded.
"To see my tech guy."
Oh. That was genius!
Brody led me across the entire floor, stopping at the last cubicle
"Peter, we need your help."
Peter was startled out of his code-writing reverie but took the laptop Brody handed him.
"Cool. Whatcha got?" asked the completely bald man in his early thirties. I watched as he accessed menus and command prompts I'd never before seen on my screen.
"Files keep disappearing off my machine," I said. "And before you start asking me inane questions like am I sure I saved it, yes I'm sure. I'm not computer illiterate. I saved; I kept the program open. It's not there, and this is the second time it's happened."
"OK," he said, giving Brody a look. "Let me see what's going on before you assume I'm going to think you're an idiot."
"I…uh…sorry," I said.
After a ridiculous amount of key tapping, chin rubbing, and head scratching, Peter finally spoke. "I'm sorry to say it but I don't see anything wrong with your machine."
"There has to be." The statement was polite, but my insides balled with angry frustration.
"I've looked. Twice. I'm not seeing any malicious programs capable of stealing or erasing data."
"Look again," I whispered. Brody touched my shoulder in warning. I shrugged away, inadvertently stepping closer to Peter.
Peter threw me a nervous glance but continued tapping and pulling up command menus.
"Whoa," Peter whispered after a few moments. "OK. I've got good news and bad news for you," Peter said, spinning his chair to meet my gaze. He folded his hands across his midsection and waited for my go-ahead.
"Not the time for dramatic pauses, Peter," Brody scolded.
"Right. I did find something and it's amazing. You've got a serious program running in the background. It took me a while to find it because I've never seen anything like it." Peter actually looked excited about the thing that kept eating my work. "I'm sorry; it's just a brilliant piece of programming. That's the good news. The bad news is it'll take me some time to sort it out, and there's no way I'll be able to retrieve any lost information. But I'm certain I can get the entire program off your machine."
Not what I wanted to hear.
"You're sure you can't get any of it back?"
"Positive. This line of code right here tells me so," he said. "Sorry."
What was I going to do?
"Wait a minute," Brody interjected. "Is it affecting her machine in any other way?"
"No," Peter said.
"Well, then how can a program specifically target her work? It doesn't make sense."
Peter sighed and rubbed his face. "It's not targeting her work, per se. It's been written to erase any files that grow quickly in a short amount of time. I'd assume her work, whatever that may be, is the only type of file that does that."
I nodded, numbly, mind racing for the solution I knew was there somewhere.
Peter shifted in his chair. "If I could offer some advice? Always backup twice. Once on a portable drive, and then again in an email. Send whatever you're working on to yourself."
I nodded again. It was good advice. I started mentally working out my timeline. I'd have to write a shitload each day in order to meet my deadline.
I didn't remember walking back to Brody's office, but there I was sitting on his sofa, watching his lips move.
"What?"
"I said, I still have some things I need to finish. I shouldn't be more than an hour. Are you OK with waiting?"
"I don't see another option," I said and stretched out on the sofa.
Instead of focusing on how much my workload had just increased, I watched Brody work. He was very tactile, choosing to use physical maps and charts instead of software to plot shipping schedules. It took up a lot of space, but he seemed to have a system.
"What?" Brody asked, feeling the weight of my scrutiny.
"I was admiring the way you work."
Brody sighed. "It's cumbersome, but I need more control than the software allows. My dad tried to break me of the habit, but I catch route errors that the programming sometimes misses."
"Laid-back Brody is a control freak. I would have never guessed."
"Only about work," he said and promptly put his nose back in his maps.
20
"I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for you," Brody sympathized during the drive back to my condo. He hadn't taken long to finish working, but even if he had, I would have been strangely content to watch him work.
Without the distraction of his contentedness, I was in the throes of a full-on pity party.
"I've moved beyond frustration into silent fuming," I said flatly out the window. There was no avoiding it now; I'd have to call my editor and push back my deadline. I'd never missed a deadline before and I was pissed I'd been forced into it now.
"My tech guy will get to the bottom of this. And who knows, maybe he'll be able to recover the lost chapters."
"That's sweet of you, Brody, but you know as well as I do that's unlikely."
Brody's shoulders slumped slightly. "Yeah, I know. I just hate feeling you this way. It puts me in a bad mood."
"So sorry my disaster has affected your sunny disposition."
"That's not what I mean and you know it."
"I know you didn't. But I feel like I should control my feelings so you don't have to feel them, and I just can't do that. I feel what I feel, and that's that."
"I never asked you to edit yourself for me."
"Now would be a good time for you to put up a barrier."
"I thought you'd say that. But I still think there's a reason I'm so connected to you."
Brody couldn't see me roll my eyes at him, but I knew by his sigh
that he'd felt it.
"How about a distraction? Why don't you tell me about some of the research you did for the book?"
"I don't want to talk about the book, Brody."
"Just trust me."
I didn't have the energy to argue with him. "The past three months, I've been traveling, collecting data on different magical systems around the world. I've been to every continent, except Antarctica and I've spoken with hundreds of magical practitioners."
"And which was your favorite?" he prompted.
"My favorite what?"
"Practitioner," the smile in his tone rubbed me exactly the wrong way.
"Probably Kaori."
Brody waited for details. I didn't offer any.
"And what did you like about her, Zora?"
"We got along well."
"Stop making me pull teeth here"
"What do you want from me, Brody? I get that you're trying to distract me into feeling better, but I don't want to feel better. I'm in a shitty situation. Let me feel shitty about it."
Brody was silent the rest of the ride. Not the sullen, dejected type of silent; Brody simply did not say anything more.
That is, until we reached the vestibule of my building. "Uh-oh," he said under his breath and nodded toward the closing elevator doors.
He'd seen Lucy's pursed mouth before I did.
The last thing I needed was Lucy trying to get cozy with me. I threw up a wall around my energy and hoped she hadn’t seen me.
"Zora! Glad to run into you! Have you figured anything out yet?" she asked and stuck her forearm between the elevator doors. "About your knee?" Lucy stage-whispered just as the doors sensed her arm and opened again.
"No," I said and entered the elevator, Brody close behind.
Out of her usual shockingly bright scrubs, Lucy wore a form fitting business suit. The jacket cinched tight at her tiny waist, and the skirt flared just at her hips.
"Well, just be sure you keep trying. I'm so excited at the prospect. Just imagine the possibilities."
A dismissive "Mhmm" was all I could manage.
"Once the cause is pinpointed, testing will have to be done, and then clinical trials, and then there's all the FDA paperwork and oh, funding, I hadn't even thought about that aspect. There's a lot to do, so I can't stress how important it is for you to tell me as soon as you know."
"I get it, Lucy."
"I was wondering if I could get a small tissue sample from your knee?"
"Absolutely not."
Lucy was shocked at my refusal.
"It's only in case you can't figure it out, Zora. This is far too important to leave to a layperson."
"No."
"Now, Zora,” Lucy started, tone heavy with condescension. “I know writers think they're experts on any subject or profession they've written about, but you're not a medical professional. I'll say it again, this it too important to leave up to you."
"It's my knee and it's that simple."
"How can you be so selfish? Think of all the people who could benefit from what comes of this."
"And I told you before, Lucy," I bounced on her name extra hard. "It wasn't real. There will be no research because there's nothing to research."
"I don't know what that means. I saw it; I was there and it was real."
"What I'm more interested in," I started, turning to face Lucy fully, "is how you knew I work as a writer? Before this," I said, vaguely motioning to my knee, "I tried my damnedest not to even look at you."
"She's in the plotting stage," Brody said quietly.
Shit, Brody was right. I walled my energy even harder than I was before.
"I'm not enthralled by you, Zora," Lucy said, and with her words, the texture of her energy changed. Excitement was replaced with control and her glassy-eyed focus turned to a cold, hard stare.
21
The elevator doors opened to my floor but Brody and I were locked in a staring contest with Lucy. They closed without any of us exiting.
If not enthralled then what?
"Oh, Gods!" My stomach dropped as the realization hit me. Everything made sense now. "All of it was a ruse, wasn’t it?" Accidentally pocketing my key, rummaging through my computer bag multiple times, and generally wanting to be around me wasn't as simple as a non trying to latch on to a practitioner. She'd wanted my manuscript.
But I had no idea why.
Nothing in Lucy's expression confirmed or denied my suspicion, but I knew I was right. "Give it back!" I demanded.
"I couldn't even if I wanted to."
"You will," I said and snatched her arm with one hand while pushing the open doors button with the other. I yanked Lucy out of the elevator and across the hall to my condo. Brody didn't need me to tell him to unlock the door for us.
I stalled in the threshold.
Pulling just Lucy’s arm over the barrier of my ward, I looked her dead in the eye. “Tell me what the hell is going on and I’ll make it stop,” I said.
The ward sizzled on her skin, the frying sound and smell of burnt flesh made my stomach clench.
But I knew it wasn’t real.
I wasn’t a psycho.
No lasting harm would actually come to her. Or her unborn child. But it felt real, and though she made no noise, Lucy’s knee’s buckled from the pain.
She’d heal the moment she was out of the ward.
Brody caught Lucy just as she collapsed to the ground. “I can’t,” she whispered. “I can’t tell you what you want to know.”
I grabbed her other arm and shoved it under the ward. Lucy grunted as the ward touched her flesh, but made no other noises.
I had to give it to her, she was one tough broad.
“Zora, it’s not working.”
I knew that, but I didn’t know what else to do.
I waved the ward down and pulled Lucy into my condo.
"Sit," I said and pushed her in front of the armchair. I paced in front of her perfectly poised posture.
"Why did you take it?" I asked.
"Part of the job."
"Who do you work for?"
"Can't tell you."
"I think you'd better."
"That's where you're wrong, Zora. You're the one who has no leverage here."
I had nothing to say to that. She was right. I couldn't threaten her with anything, especially since she was pregnant.
I had to try a different approach. Scary and intimidating wasn't me anyway. I pulled the ottoman across the living room and sat myself directly in front of her.
"What's going on here, Lucy?" Every bit of me softened with the question. Lucy's posture relaxed fractionally with my adjusted attitude. "I knew I saw glimmers of the real you behind everything. I like what I saw. I respect you. I need to know what's going on. This is my livelihood - my life you're messing with."
My honest had affected her, but Lucy sat unmoving and silent.
“Please, what can you tell me?”
It was as if the question was a key that unlocked her.
Lucy sighed and started babbling. Not like before, not with meaningless prattle, but with answers.
"I’m so glad you asked me that way. The Corporation has a binding spell on me. No amount of torture or manipulation could get me to reveal anything to you.”
“But I made sure there was a loophole in the spell. Zora, there are many who support you at the Corporation.” Lucy said.
I didn’t know what that meant.
“I'm not a nurse," Lucy started. She wasn't hesitant or unsure. In fact, everything came out in a rush, like it had been pent up for too long. "I'm the head of Genetic R&D for the Corporation. I was asked to get close to you, close enough to put a program on your computer."
"Why?" I asked quickly, trying to keep her momentum.
"I was the convenient choice. I already lived close to you."
"No, I get that. I mean why did they want you to get close to me in the first place?"
"Because they know what you want to do. They'
ve been following your career since the beginning. When you started traveling and gathering information on other magical systems, they paid attention. They don't want you publishing this book and they'll stop at nothing to make sure it doesn't happen."
"Why do they care what Zora writes?" Brody asked.
Lucy made an exasperated sound and sank deeper into the chair. "Because Zora is aiming at writing step-by-step instructions on how to self-initiate. She's masquerading it as fiction, but the Corporation doesn't want it out there, in any form."
"Hold on a minute, I thought only the magically inclined could initiate in the first place. What does it matter if she spells it out? It's not like anyone can do it. Right?" Brody asked.
"That's where you're wrong," Lucy said. "Everyone is capable hell, everyone craves it. That's what makes the nons so dangerous to practitioners. That’s what energy abuse and enthrallment is: Failing at trying to initiate through practitioners."
"Well, wouldn't Zora spelling it out be better?" Brody asked. I was thinking the same thing; Brody just got to the words first.
For a second time, Lucy sighed. "Yes, and there are those of us in the Corporation who are rooting for you, Zora. But we are a small minority.”
That the Corporation was so against its release only stiffened my resolve. "They can steal it as many times as they want. I'm writing this book."
"I admire that about you, Zora. Just know, as much as I’m on your side of this, I still have to do my job."
Lucy and I stared at each other a moment, weighing the other's gaze and intent.
"And I have to do mine," I said and stood.
"There's one last thing I have to tell you."
I sat back down.
"When the Corporation discovered we lived in the same building they asked me to get close to you. I tried for months to break into your carefully tended façade, but I couldn't. It was only when you approached me about the pregnancy that I made any headway." Lucy paused to fidget with her sleeve, eyes bouncing from me to Brody and back again. "But I'm not actually pregnant."
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