“I don’t know what’s happened to you mom, but I’m leaving. I can’t live here like this anymore. If you think for a second that I’m leaving just because you don’t approve of Calvin, then you don’t know me at all. I’m leaving because everyone in this house is being ruled by him and I won’t allow it to happen to me, not no more. I may have once, but now I have opened my eyes, they won’t be blinded by him again. If you won’t come with me now, I will come back for you.” I add on whimper promising.
“Where... Where are you going?” Sophia cries from behind me.
I turn to face her and take her hand in mine. “I have to get away from here Soph. None of you understand.”
“Make us.” She croaks.
“I want to. I want to so much, but I can’t, not yet. But soon, just trust me.”
She nods, sucking in her quivering bottom lip.
“And where the fuck are you planning on going? To live happily ever after with Calvin?” Mauricio mocks laughing sadistically to himself.
I turn to him, my face like thunder. I don’t even want this man breathing the same air as me never mind talking to me.
“I’m leaving by myself.” I lie, “this has nothing to do with running away with Calvin.”
He knows I’m lying, the lack of confidence in my voice confirms it. But I’m not going to admit it or he will never let me go.
I walk over to pick my suitcase up. Tears blurring my vision.
“Please Olivia, don’t go, this doesn’t make sense.” My mom holds on to my arm. I turn to face her placing my suitcase by my side.
“I have to mom. And I will come back for you. I promise. Then you will understand.”
She sobs, pulling me into her, giving me a long and tight emotional hug. She hugs me like she don’t ever want to let me go. I hug her back, crying softly into her shoulder.
“I love you mom.” I whisper as she unwillingly lets me go.
Sophia wraps me up in her arms when I’m free from my mom, her makeup smudging as the result of her crying.
“You’re coming back right?” She asks in hope.
I know if I talk my voice will crack and I won’t stop crying, so I shake my head, telling her no.
I just need to get out of here, then I can think of what to do.
I leave my mom and Sophia watching me looking tortured and wounded. I have to look away.
I brush past Mauricio out in the hallway. He pretends for my mom’s sake to hug me. I tense as soon as he touches me, my body stills. Why the fuck is he touching me? I snarl in my mind, get the hell off me, murderer. I push him away instantly.
"Don’t touch me." I warn him, gritting my teeth.
"I will find you." He whispers bending down, and it’s undoubtedly a threat.
I pull away from his whiskey smelling breath and glare at him. "I think you have more to worry about than finding me, don’t you?" I give him the same threatening tone back, and walk away from him.
As I get to the front door, my mom and Sophia are watching behind me. I take a deep fragile breath. Okay, now I’m leaving and I don’t know when I’m going to see them again. It’s taking every bone and muscle in my body to help me maintain composure.
"I love you both." I whisper again, shutting the door after me.
Walking to the bottom of my street my chest caves in. I let out sob after sob. I can’t believe I have to leave my family behind. I have to leave my life behind and all because of him. I have to leave my mom behind with him. Why wouldn’t she just come with me?
I tell myself I just have to keep thinking it’s for the best, for now. I will see them again.
Chapter Nineteen*
Calvin wastes no time in jumping out of his car in a panic when he sees me struggling towards him.
“Hey, hey. You Okay? Where’s your mom?"
I loose grip of the suitcase and jump into his arms letting everything go.
“She wouldn’t come," I sob, “she wouldn’t...”
"Shh, it’s Okay baby." He comforts me holding me tight.
"I couldn’t stay there Calvin, not with him, but I couldn’t make her come with me. She wouldn’t leave. She just wouldn’t."
"You tried Olivia, that’s all you can do. Once we get somewhere and think this through we’ll come back for her, don’t worry. The main thing is you’re out of it now, and I will look after you from now on. I will take good care of you. I promise. No one will ever hurt you again. You understand?"
Calvin holds me at arm’s length to study me quickly as I sniff my stuffy nose from crying. His face turns furious all of a sudden forcing him to take a measured step back.
"What the fuck is that?" His jaw clicks as I watch his body tense in front of me.
"He hit you!" he yells, before I can speak. I nod but the last thing I want is for him to go see Mauricio, so I urge him along.
"Common its nothing, let’s go," but he remains firm. "No! He’s not hurting someone else I love, not this time." He begins to march fiercely towards my house. Shit. I race after him.
"Calvin no, please don’t go in there. I just want to go." I pull him back with all I have but he wriggles out of my reach. I run in front of him placing my hands on his chest trying to push him back.
"Calvin, please do this for me. Leave it, let’s just go. Then he’ll be out of our lives forever. We can forget about him. Please don’t go in there. I can’t handle any more of this."
He stops walking when he recognizes the pain and pleading I’m forcing upon him. He sighs raggedly and lets out a curse. Turning around he punches a street lamp out of frustration making me wince.
That’s gotta hurt.
Grabbing me firmly by my hand he warns me. "Only this once. I swear to god Olivia, I’m going to fucking kill him one day." He growls as he marches me back towards the car pulling me behind. I don’t say a word. I’m more than relieved that he hasn’t gone back in there.
Yes, I think he would have killed him.
Back at the car he takes my suitcase putting in the trunk. He’s pissed that I stopped him going to my house but I just want to get out of here.
I walk around to the passenger side in haste. I’m about to get in when I see someone standing in the distance at the bottom of my driveway. I wipe my teary eyes so I can focus. When I notice who the person is, my heart jumps into my mouth. It’s Mauricio. His body goes ridged when he spots me and more so Calvin. He begins shouting at the top of his voice.
"Shit!" I scream in a frantic panic, "Calvin, get in, we need to go now!" I demand. I quickly climb into the car, my body shaking from head to toe. He’s spotted us! Now what? Calvin not noticing what I have climbs into the driver’s side to slow for my liking.
"Go now!" I shriek. I look out of front window and spot Mauricio running towards us. Shit. I’m going to be sick.
"Olivia, what’s wrong?" Calvin puts the key in the ignition absently looking out of the front window. He spots Mauricio as he’s about to drive away. He jumps to attention. His jaw clenches. His hands tighten around the steering wheel. It’s clear to me what Calvin’s intentions are.
"Calvin, go!" I scream again as he slams his foot down onto the accelerator so rapidly I jerk back into my seat. Mauricio runs out in to the road trying to block our path like a crazed man. For a moment I think Calvin isn’t going to dodge him with the speed he’s going. I watch the hatred in his eyes burning through him as his gaze is set upon Mauricio in the road. I hold my hands up to my face not wanting to see the outcome. All of a sudden I’m jerked to the side in my seat, realizing that Calvin must have swerved around him.
I look up at him wide eyed and shocked.
"Put your seat belt on!" he yells, furiously. I do as I’m told with shaky hands putting my belt in place.
"You didn’t kill him." I breathe in wonder.
"No!” he growls harshly. “Fuck!" It’s like he’s scolding himself.
"Calvin. You’re a better man than that." I try to calm him down but I still haven’t collected myself.
"Am I!" His voice is fierce.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No. I’m mad at myself!" He barks.
I don’t ask him why, I know why. Deep down I know he wanted to run the car into Mauricio. Now I know he thinks he’s a coward for not doing it. The truth is, he’s no coward. He’s a good man. I’m glad he didn’t do it, and not for Mauricio’s sake.
"He will get what’s coming to him." I try to comfort him putting my hand onto his knee. He glances down at it for a second wearing a frown. He notes I'm still shaking, but I’m trying to control it.
Now Mauricio knows for a fact I have left with Calvin. What will he do?
He continues right onto the freeway gripping the steering wheel, glaring out in front of him, not saying a word.
"Do you know where we’re going?" I ask after the initial shock.
"I thought we’d go to my grans to lie low for a few days." He’s short with me but I don’t push it.
He looks like a man with the whole word resting comfortably on his shoulders. But every time I look him I melt. He’s simply gorgeous, still with everything that’s going on, he will never stop dazzling me. I’m more than lucky to have this man back in my life. Before he came back, I never thought the torture of him being gone would leave me. But seeing his face for the first time in months, instantly fixed me. Now I know, with him is where I belong.
I am glad that we're heading to his grans. I feel safe there and so extremely welcome. And it’s nice to see Calvin happy and relaxed somewhere other than his own place, around people that love him. This is where he loves to be and I love that I get to be a part of Calvin’s life.
"Ashton will be at my grandparents. He’s been down there since last night," he pauses, quickly looking at me for my reaction then back to the road. "He knows I told you everything, he thought you and your family new all about it."
"That’s why he hated me so much?" My frown is deep. No wonder he gave me a dog’s life every time I saw him.
"That explains a lot." I mutter dryly. Still, he didn’t have to take it out on me.
I see Calvin’s mouth turn into a small smile at my grumpiness before I turn to stare out of the window.
"I think all along he really knew how naive you where, he just didn’t want to believe it. He hates your family, but he’ll come round to you. He has too." He shrugs still smirking at my sulking.
Oh that word again, naive. Yes. That’s something I have definitely been. Now the thought of being at Hazels with Ashton is making me feel uneasy. I don’t think it will be a relaxing sanctuary after all.
"Do you think it’s wise we go to your grans with someone who hates me staying there as well? I mean, it’s his family home, he doesn’t want me there. I could do without another person on my case right now."
He shakes his head and smiles trying to comfort me. "He don’t hate you Olivia, he hates you’re... He hates Mauricio. My brothers a really good man you just got to get to know him,"
"I would he if he let me." My answer is dry. Calvin’s lips curve again.
"Grumpy aren’t you."
"Well, given the circumstances the past few days, I think I have a right to be." I cross my arms and turn my head away from him in a defense gesture.
"You want some music on?" Calvin goes to switch the radio on, but I shake my head.
"I’d rather have some thinking time it you don’t mind. I need that much." He looks at me quickly, his features soft and oozing concern.
"I love you Olivia, you know that right?" I smile and nod. It’s the most wonderful uplifting feeling in the world when he says that. Every time he says it feels like the first time. I won’t ever bore of him declaring his love for me.
“Even with your moodiness.”
“I am not moody. And, I love you too.”
"Good. I’m glad we got that out of the way." He kisses my knuckles as we set off again for the long journey ahead.
Chapter Twenty*
"I’m so glad you’ve come to visit Calvin, bringing Olivia here is a charm. Go fix us some
hot cocoa, it’s getting colder by the day out there." Hazel make's a shivering noise as she smiles down at me settling herself next to me on the warm cozy dark green fabric couch, with what looks like hand knitted white throw over the top, making it more cozy in her sitting room.
She has her gray hair up in a neat little bun just as I remembered from before and a pale pink buttoned up dress that goes down to her ankles.
Hazel and Gerald’s home is so warm and comfortable and the living room just the same. A room I didn’t explore the last time I was here. They have a big log burning fire place as there feature. It’s so big. I bet I could crouch inside. Their old corgi dog harry is laying lazily on the rug just in front of the fire like it’s his pride and joy. He doesn’t move, at first I thought he was dead. It looks picture perfect with dark wood flooring and dark blue walls. Yes, it's dark decor but so warm and comforting.
There are pictures of all Hazel’s family on the walls in frames, and beautiful paintings of meadows and sunsets.
I’ve looked around admiring each and every one of them silently. She has also placed my painting I did for her on the wall, amongst them. I smile to myself when I see this.
Hazel and Gerald have been over the moon with our arrival. They wasn’t expecting us at all but I’ve been looking over my shoulder since I arrived for Ashton but nothing of him yet. I can relax a little. For now.
"That’s a good boy." Hazel beams at Calvin as he hands us both a mug of hot chocolate.
"Thank you." I smile up at him as he hands me mine. He bends down to kiss me softly on my cheek before taking the rocking chair on the other side of the room.
"You no your granddad will be kicking you out of that chair when he wakes from his nap," Hazel turns to me after playfully scolding Calvin. "Its Gerald’s chair, no one’s aloud to sit on it but him," she verifies to me on an eye roll. "Silly old fool." She laughs gently tapping my knee.
"Is he Okay?" Calvin asks a little worried, frowning. Does he know something I don’t?
Hazels takes a sip of her hot chocolate before answering.
"Oh, you no your granddad sweet heart, nothing will beat him down."
Calvin nods but not convinced.
"Anyway, I’m so happy you two are here. Tell me what you’ve been up to Olivia my sweet, how’s life keeping you? And don’t tell me no lies because I can see when someone’s been crying a mile away. And I can also tell when somebody hasn’t had much sleep either. My Calvin hasn’t been upsetting you has he? Because if he have...” I stop her in mid-sentence shaking my head. "No, Hazel Calvin is... Wonderful actually."
"Go on." She urges.
I shrug, taking a long sip of my cocoa, trying to avoid the situation, not really wanting to talk about it. I mean, what do I say? That I found out my step dad is a cruel twisted murderer?
Calvin intervenes noticing how uncomfortable I’m getting. "Its Olivia’s family gran that’s all."
I look over to him softly, appreciating him getting me out of that. But Hazel turns her whole body to face me concerned and places her hand on my knee. She knows better.
"Oh? I hope it’s not too serious sweetheart. You only get one family you know, and sometimes the things that you argue about really isn’t worth it." I look into her kind, wise eyes and it reminds me of everything. How she’s lost her family, how I’ve left my mom with Mauricio. Knowing things won’t ever be the same from now on. I can’t help but let tears slip, instantly regretting it because I know I will have to explain myself.
The way hazel looks at my emotional outburst is painful.
"Hazel, I’m so sorry, ignore me. I’m being stupid." I wipe my eyes and lean over to place my mug on the coffee table.
"Oh sweet heart, whatever is the matter? You can tell me."
Calvin stands from Gerald’s chair, walking over to me. He pulls up from the chair and into him, holding my head into his chest comforting me. I know he’s worried sick
about me.
"Do you mind if I take Olivia up to bed gran. She’s had a long day. I think she needs some rest."
Hazel stands placing her mug down before taking me out of Calvin’s arms to offer me her own hug. "Of course I don’t mind. You go rest sweet heart. It’s obvious you need it. If you want anything, anything at all, you just call me." She insists warmly.
"Thank you." I manage as Calvin leads the way upstairs to his old room.
"I’m going stay in here tonight with you. I don’t want you alone." He tells me as he takes his t-shirt and jeans off, discarding them on the bedroom floor.
I climb into the single bed just wearing my own t-shirt and I’m accompanied by Calvin moments later.
I know this isn’t what Hazel approves of, but Calvin acknowledges that I don’t want to be alone.
“I need to grab a charger for my mobile Calvin.” I need my cell to be switched on for any news.
"I’ll sort that out for you, you don’t have to worry about a thing anymore. You need to sleep baby, come here." Calvin lays down beside me and pulls me into him. I lay facing his chest, with my legs between his as he’s thrown one of his legs over mine. We squeeze into the single bed perfectly. If it was a normal time I would have laughed at how comical it is.
Calvin continues his gentle stroking of my hair not saying anything for a while. We don’t speak, my body and mind is senseless and exhausted.
I fall to sleep wrapped into Calvin like a vine.
***
"Here you go sweet heart a nice cup of coffee to wake you up. Calvin said you like it milky?"
I sit up in bed rubbing my eyes, instantly realizing I’m Calvin-less.
Where is he? What time is it?
Hazel places the coffee she’s made me on the bedside table, opening the curtains revealing a dull, dark rainy day.
"It makes you feel miserable don’t it?" Hazels sighs looking out of the window then turns straight back to me. I love Hazel to bits but I really can’t have a full blown conversation in the morning. It throws me off a little. But I know she means well all the same.
Confessions and Olivia (Olivia #2) Page 19