Body Heart Soul (Blind Vows #2)

by J. M. Witt

  Where was O? My heart stopped beating, my lungs stopped working as I stared at the empty space where O should’ve been standing. One of the firemen pulled his mask off and shook his head at another man in uniform. That was when I saw Dorian and Detective Rollins. How long had they been here?

  Prying the mask off my face, I ran toward the firemen as the pain in my leg radiated through me. “Where is he?” He caught me as my leg gave way. “Go back!” They carried me back to the sitting ambulance and set me on the stretcher as I screamed for Dorian. “Dorian!” His eyes found me and he rushed over to me. “O’s still in there.” He didn’t say a word, just vanished inside.

  The pain was becoming too much. Oxygen was placed over my face again and everything started to spin. I couldn’t lose him. This wasn’t my plan. I was trying to protect him. My eyes closed and all I saw were his sad eyes smiling at me, only the way they could; flashing from green to gold. Now Dorian was risking his life for O’s because he risked his life for me. I’d never forgive myself. I just wanted to die. They were all better off having never met me.

  ~ Odysseus ~

  ~ Chapter 22 ~

  Dorian and I were sitting across the desk from his client, the PI. His name was Judd according to the nameplate. He was on the phone with one of his contacts at the police station. I kept checking my phone and sending Des messages, hoping she’d respond. It was already late afternoon and the adrenaline pumping through me had my right leg bouncing up and down.

  “Thank you, darling. I look forward to hearing back from you.” He paused, “I think I can arrange that.” He winked at Dorian and me as I shook my head. I knew it was part of the game, but if he was setting up a booty call, I didn’t have time for it. “Talk to you soon.”

  He hung up the phone and I asked, “So?”

  “She’s looking into it. She said there’s definitely something going on. She’ll call me back.”

  “When?”

  He shook his head, “It could be an hour or four. I suggest you go home, or whatever, and I’ll call you as soon as I know something.” I slammed my hands down on the desk. “Hey. I get it man, but my hands are tied. Beth is good and discreet. If there’s info to be had, she’ll get it.”

  Dorian chimed in, “Come on O. You heard the man.” Resigning, I nodded as he turned back to Judd, “I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

  “You owe me Kerrigan!” He laughed and they shook hands before we headed out.

  That night we did get an update. Des was working with the cops and was apparently in a safe house, but Beth didn’t know where. She was still working on it. I bolted out of bed a few hours later when my cell rang. It was four in the morning. Answering the call, it was Judd.

  “I have the address. I’ll pick you up in twenty.”

  I didn’t even respond, just started getting dressed and headed downstairs. Dorian was asleep on the couch and I didn’t want to wake him. Seemingly I was too loud because he appeared at my side a few minutes later.

  “You don’t think you’re going alone are you?”

  “Judd says they have an address. I just didn’t want to wake you.”

  He gripped my shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Let’s get your girl.” Judd pulled up and we hopped into his sedan.

  Judd warned us as we pulled up. “They’re not going to take kindly to us showing up like this. Be prepared.”

  I banged on the front door and almost straightaway a man answered the door. He looked like he’d just woken up. “I want to see my wife!”

  Lifting his chin, he snarled, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Judd stepped forward and called the officer by his name, though he wore no badge. “Timmy, is the girl here or not?”

  “Shit. Dammit Judd.” He opened the door grumbling, “I’m going to lose my fucking job because of you.”

  “Maybe so, but looks to me like you were sleeping on the job.” We took in the dismal surroundings and the blanket on the couch signifying he’d been asleep there. “If you lose your job it won’t be because of me.”

  Groaning, “This way. She’s back here.”

  He pointed to a back bedroom and I made my way inside. She was asleep under the covers and I sat down next to her. “Des?” I placed my hand on her shoulder and quickly realized it was a coup. Yanking back the covers, I exposed a body of pillows. “What the fuck! Where is she?”

  We turned on the lights and checked every nook and cranny for her. She was gone. Timmy discovered her car was also gone from out back. Anger got the best of me as I slammed him up against the wall. Dorian and Judd had to separate us as I screamed at him.

  “Where’s my wife, you prick?”

  Dorian dragged me outside to catch my breath. “O, you have to relax. She’s smart and underhanded. She probably marched her ass out with him asleep on the couch.”

  “That’s what I’m worried about. She’s too fucking daring for her own good.” I couldn’t help it as the sobs tore from me. “Dorian, she’s pregnant.”

  He leaned back from me as my words sank in. Running his hand over his face and gripping his jaw, he whispered, “Jesus, O.” Then he clasped me to his chest. “We’ll find her.”

  Heading back inside, Timmy divulged more info. “They suspect that he bought her old place, but haven’t had a chance to check it out.”

  “That’s where she went. I know it.” All three of them just looked at me. “He’s attacked her there before. She knows he’ll find her there. She’s not stupid, unlike your department of incompetent dimwits. She’s going to try to end this once and for all.”

  Judd agreed and we high-tailed it out of there, toward Des’ old place. The sun was rising and shone bright hues of pinks and blues. Relief filled me when I spotted her car, but it was immediately replaced with dread. Smoke was billowing out of her end of the building. A few neighbors started running out the front door as I jumped out of Judd’s sedan.

  Running toward the front door, Dorian’s hand came down on my shoulder. “O, you can’t go in there.”

  Turning to him, “I can’t leave her. If it was your wife, your unborn child, you’d do the same thing. I know you would.” Dorian had lost a lot and there was no need to get into it further. He released me and I told him to call the cops. “Whatever happens, she’s got to be the number one priority.”

  Pulling out his cell, he agreed and dialed 9-1-1. Opening the door, another neighbor ran out with her small dog wrapped in her arms. The smoke hit me like a wall. My eyes instantly burned and my lungs started coughing in protest. Finding the stairs, I began the trek up to her floor. God damn this bum leg. It took me longer than it should have, but there was nothing I could do about it.

  Finally, I reached her floor and headed toward her end of the hall. Flames covered the ceiling as I crouched in front of her door. The knob was hot so I had no choice but to kick the door in. It gave quicker than I expected, but that was probably due to the damage the flames had done. Sprinklers were spraying from overhead, but they were no match for the inferno that blazed.

  “Des!” Taking a deep breath, my arms around my head, I ran through the doorway. “DES!”

  The bedroom door was closed and I was terrified about what I might find behind it. Memories from the desert flashed through my brain as I fought to push them away. Would I find the room empty, Des gone, or would she be dead as Saul waited for me? Hell, maybe he was dead, too. Fuck. I didn’t know which scenario would be worse.

  “O?”

  Praise Jesus, she was alive…for now.

  ~ Desiree ~

  ~ Chapter 23 ~

  When I woke, my whole body ached and was stiff. Memories inundated me and I tried to push them away. The familiar sounds of a hospital floated around me, making it unnecessary to open my eyes to reveal where I was. O was gone and I didn’t want to live this life without him. The baby. My hand drifted to my still flat abdomen. I didn’t even know if the baby was still there. The only proof I’d had was a positive home pre
gnancy test. I wasn’t sure how far along I was or how long I’d been in the hospital.

  Not able to keep my eyes closed any longer, squinting as my eyes adjusted to the bright light, I found the clock. According to the date a couple days had passed. I spotted some flower arrangements on the window sill as a nurse walked in.

  “Good, you’re awake.” She took my wrist in hers, asking, “How do you feel?”

  Shrugging my shoulders, I retorted, “How should I feel?” She eyed me suspiciously before writing in my chart.

  “I’ll let your doctor and family know you’re awake.” She removed the catheter and I was grateful for the lack of discomfort. “If you have to go to the bathroom, ask for help. Ok?” I just nodded.

  Then I remembered her mention my family. “Family?” I glanced to my left hand and my rings were nowhere to be found. “My rings?”

  “Your family has those, too.” She left before I could inquire anymore.

  When I tried to move my legs, I felt the weight of the cast. Shit! I wasn’t going to be able to go anywhere, not easily. The family was probably O’s family and I didn’t think I could bear to see them. I’d gotten their son killed, maybe two sons killed, and Will had almost been killed before. They should’ve abandoned me and had every right to do so.

  I pulled myself to a sitting position and soon regretted it.

  “My dear, where do you think you’re going?” I looked up to see O’s mom.

  Tears threatened as O’s eyes stared back at me. I’d never noticed before that he had his mother’s eyes, though hers were more green than gold. I couldn’t look at her and not cry. My hands covered my face and I soon felt her hand on my shoulder.

  “Everything’s ok, Desiree.”

  Sobbing, “How can you say that? I’ve lost him.”

  “Lost him? Lost who?” Was she being dense on purpose?

  “O! I can’t do this without him.” Words started falling from my lips before I could stop them. “I’m not built to be a single mom. I can’t do this alone.”

  “Shh, you’re not alone. I know you and O have some things to work out, but he’d never abandon his child.” My head ached. What was she talking about?

  “Mom, can I have a minute?”

  I needed to be committed. His voice filled the small room and when I lifted my head, he stood in front of me. His mom hugged him and then left the room. He was an apparition, a mirage, because my O was gone, dead, and it was my fault.

  With the slightest limp, he came closer and sat on the bed next to me. Closing my eyes, I shook my head in denial.

  “Des, please look at me.”

  “I can’t look at you. You’re not real.”

  His soft chuckle filled my ears like the sweetest song. “I am real and so are you.”

  Warm hands cupped my cheeks and stroked my face, only the way he could, as I leaned into his touch. Minty breath drifted over my face and his scent filled my nostrils.

  “You’re alive?”

  “Nothing was going to take me from you.”

  Whimpering, his kiss silenced my cries. My hands reached for him in a frenzy as he leaned over me. “I thought you were dead.” I buried my face in his neck as his hands dug into my back.

  “I thought you were, too. Why’d you do it?”

  I knew what he was referring to and just shook my head. “It was never going to end, not unless I ended it.”

  He pulled my face away until our eyes met. “Des, you’re not alone.” His eyes were filled with tears as he closed them and kissed the bridge of my nose. “I thought I lost you. When I saw the smoke, I…”

  “I’m sorry. I couldn’t risk you getting hurt.”

  “Why can’t you understand that I feel the same way?” His voice filled with annoyance as he spit out, “For God’s sake, Des. You walked in there knowing he was there and knowing you were pregnant with my child.”

  “Yes. I did. A child you said you didn’t want!”

  “Dammit!” He stepped away from me and ran his hands through his hair. “That’s not what I meant. I just thought we’d have more time. You think I don’t want to have children with you?”

  I shook my head because I wasn’t really sure. Maybe I’d taken his statement of wanting to wait as a threat that he didn’t want kids at all. “I just thought... I’m sorry.” My voice cracked again as more tears fell.

  “I want you to be the mother of my children more than anything else in this world. Well, maybe not more than I want you. I can’t breathe without you, Des. I try to think about a time when you weren’t there and I can’t. Life didn’t exist for me until you. A child will just add to that.”

  Guilt like I’d never felt flowed through me. “I’m so sorry.” So many problems could’ve been avoided had we taken the time to communicate with one another, trust each other wholly. Something not surprising since we were still getting to know one another.

  He sat down next to me and pulled me to his chest. “I love you, Des. So fucking much. I’d walk through fire over and over again to prove it.”

  Looking up into his eyes I chastised him, “Walking through fire for me once is quite enough.” I spotted the bandage on his arm and fingered it gently. “Is it bad?”

  “I’ll survive. As long as I have you.”

  “You always had me. I just wasn’t sure you wanted me.”

  Sighing, “What do I have to do, Des to prove it to you? Do I need to jump on couches or take out a billboard?” He kissed my temple and whispered, “Stop trying to get rid of me.”

  “You’re not getting rid of me.” I cupped his face and kissed his lips. “I love you, O.”

  “I love you, too, baby.” He laid down with me and soon I was drifting off again. “It’s ok, Des. You need to sleep.” And I did just that.

  Later that day, after yet another nap, I was put in a wheelchair and taken to the O.B. floor, O by my side. The doctor had confirmed that my bloodwork was indeed positive for pregnancy.

  “Based on your HCG levels, it looks like you’re already in your second trimester, or close to it.” If that was true, I had been pregnant for far longer than I realized. “We’ll take you to O.B. later today for an ultrasound.”

  We officially spilled the news to his parents, Will, Heath, and Lucy. They were all very happy though I was pretty sure I recognized a slight sadness in Lucy’s eyes. She’d told me that they’d stopped trying to prevent pregnancy, but weren’t really ‘trying’ either. I think I understood how she felt. Had you asked me six months prior if I was going to have kids I would’ve been convinced it was never going to happen for me.

  Now here I was, still a newlywed, and now pregnant.

  With O’s help, I lay back on the bed in the ultrasound room. The doctor came in and I recognized her as one of Saul’s former coworkers. She just nodded and I could see the apology in her eyes, like she finally knew and understood everything he’d put me through. She was one of few who’d never been romantically involved with Saul, unlike her counterparts.

  “Let’s start with the Doppler and check for the heartbeat. With your bloodwork indicating you’re close to the second trimester we should be able to pick up the heartbeat.”

  Cold jelly was squirted on my abdomen as she began to move the small wand over my belly. I was growing increasingly nervous as she continued to move it without finding the heartbeat. After several minutes, O took my hand as she put the Doppler away and pulled over the ultrasound machine.

  “We’re going to take a look, ok? Just as a precaution.”

  She didn’t need to explain the concerns to me. I had the medical training and I was already preparing myself for the worst. I’d been through it too many times before. I watched the monitor above my head as she probed at my belly. I knew what I was seeing, but couldn’t believe it. Was this really happening?

  ~ Odysseus ~

  ~ Chapter 24 ~

  I held her hand, petrified, though I couldn’t show it. We’d almost lost each other because we’d both been so determined to p
rotect the other, neither of us willing to budge. Now she was pregnant. I admit it was sooner than I wanted, but the thought of her belly swollen with the product of our love was almost overwhelming. I never thought I’d find anyone who’d accept me, let alone who’d want to bear my children.

  The doctor broke into my thoughts as I wiped the sweat from my brow. “Well, now I see what’s going on.” Going on? What did she mean? She smiled at me and then at Des. “Right here, there’s your baby.” She zoomed in and a small dot on the screen was fluttering back and forth. “There’s the heartbeat.”

  Des released a gasp that was a mix of relief and jubilation. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “We’re having a baby, Des!” It was like I hadn’t fully believed it until that moment.

  “Not just one baby.” My eyes darted to the doctor, to the screen, to Des, and back. “Here’s your other baby and the heartbeat. Looks like they’re fraternal, but we won’t know for sure without further tests. Congratulations!”

  What the hell did she just say? Twins? Closing my eyes, I shook my head in disbelief.

  “O? Are you ok?” I looked to Des, who had tears in her eyes. “Maybe you should sit down.”

  The nurse pushed the chair over behind me and I dropped down to it. “Twins? You’re sure?”

  The doctor smiled, “Yup. Looks like it’s still pretty early. You’re measuring about six to seven weeks along. The heartbeat can be hard to hear before eight weeks.”

  I was still trying to process everything, “But you said she was close to the second trimester because of her bloodwork.”

  “Yes.” She looked to Des and smiled. “Desiree’s bloodwork was elevated which typically indicates one of two things; how far along she is or a multiple pregnancy. We never assume multiples until we have the proof.” Handing Des a printout with two circles, she confirmed, “There’s your proof. I’ll call for the orderly to get you back to your room. This is still a very delicate time in the pregnancy. Everything looks great, but you may want to keep the news that it’s twins to yourself until you’re closer to the second trimester.”