Our muse sessions have become a normal part of our daily lives, even though we haven’t stuck to any sort of schedule. Now, he just gets his music sheets and whatever else he needs when I’m around and he feels like it.
It’s not like I actively have to do anything for him to be inspired.
I’ve asked him a few times what exactly he’s doing and how these muse sessions work, but he always says he can’t explain it. Melodies and lyrics just magically come to him whenever he’s around me. So far, he hasn’t shown me anything though, despite my never-ending curiosity.
I mean, it’s only fair to know what he creates from all my musing vibes, right? Especially since he gets the most intriguing expression on his face whenever creativity has struck. I’m not even sure if he notices, but he either sticks the tip of his tongue out of the corner of his mouth or he nibbles on his bottom lip.
It’s adorable, and maybe even a little hot.
Okay, it’s really hot.
Needless to say, our sessions have become more and more distracting to me. No one in their right mind could resist looking at those impeccable, full lips, with a cupid’s bow shaped so perfectly I have to resist the urge to touch it and trace it with my fingers—or better yet, my tongue—over and over.
There, I’m already getting distracted again. Shoot.
Trying to snap out of this alternate reality, I nod my chin toward Hudson’s papers. “Are you ever going to actually show me what you’re doing there?”
He looks at me for a long moment before smirking. “Maybe, when I think it’s good enough.”
I barely contain the loud sigh that wants to bubble to the surface at seeing him this carefree and happy. I’m getting to the point where I have to admit to myself just how much this man has gotten under my skin over the last few weeks.
Definitely a lot more than I’d planned.
It seems like there’s nothing I can do about it either. Not that I’m sure I’d even want to.
Studying him, I try to figure out if he’s serious right now or not. “Don’t be shy. Obviously, I’ve heard your music before. It’s awesome and beautiful, and I love it. Plus, I don’t think you could write a bad song, even if you wanted to.”
His eyes widen and his mouth opens a little. “You think so? We’ve never really talked about my music before, I guess. And with you not recognizing me when we first met, I just assumed you weren’t into it.”
“Are you crazy?” Now I’m the one who looks at him in shock. Now that I think about it, I realize he’s right. We haven’t talked about it before. “I love your music. The only reason I didn’t recognize you was because I’m not big into the celebrity scene. I never know who’s who when I see pictures. That’s Mo’s specialty. And to be fair, I was a little distracted by your half-naked entrance.”
Hudson’s grin turns into a smug smile. It’s pretty obvious he knows exactly what I’m talking about and probably how much it affects me too.
Way to go. Might as well tell him more about his abs and happy trail while you’re at it.
I laugh nervously, then take a sip of my coffee. “Anyway. We were talking about Monica. My friend Mo.”
I definitely deserve an award in awkward conversation skills today.
Just then, Hannah walks into the kitchen with Mirabelle in her arms, and I sigh in relief.
Hannah to the rescue.
She walks over to me, barely able to hold on to Mira, who’s jumping around in her arms at the sight of us.
Holding out my hands for Mira, I give her some cuddles. “Hi, sweetie, did you have a good walk?”
Hannah chuckles. “You should have seen her at the pond when she saw the ducks. She loves them.”
“She does. We have to take her there more often.” I look at Mira, brushing the hair out of her face. “Did you see the duckies, sweetie? Quack, quack.”
Just as expected, she laughs and wiggles around in my arms, having become slightly obsessed with animal sounds lately.
After getting a drink, Hannah sits down next to Hudson, looking at me. “Has Gabe set everything up for Monica?”
I hand Mira one of the toys from the counter, then turn to Hannah. “I think he has everything prepped. At least that’s what he said the last time we talked. I offered to help him several times, but he wanted to do it by himself.”
She chuckles and shakes her head. “He’s always like that, don’t worry. He loves to help others, but when it comes to his own stuff, he likes to do things alone and his way.”
Hudson puts down his pencil and looks at me with furrowed brows. “I still don’t understand why she doesn’t want to stay here. Wouldn’t that be so much more convenient for everyone?”
Now that Mira’s around, I close my laptop, not wanting to break it. I’ve had to learn quickly that even though older babies are still super small, they can break just as much as a bull in a china store if given the opportunity. No need to chance that. “She knows that Mira and I have already set up camp here. She didn’t want to add another person to your house.”
Hudson opens his mouth to say something, but I hold up my finger.
Mira grabs my outstretched finger and laughs as I continue. “Plus, Gabe offered, so it’s totally out of my hands anyway.”
“Yeah, I know he did.”
“Something’s obviously on your mind, so spit it out already.”
His gaze flicks over to his grandmother. “It’s nothing, really. Don’t worry about it.”
Hannah eyes him suspiciously too, but apparently makes the decision to let it slide when she turns back to me. “I think it’s a great idea. Gabe has been alone for way too long. It’ll be good for him to have a friend around. I know she won’t be staying with him at the house, but at least she’ll be on the same property. Monica’s a lot of fun. Exactly what Gabe needs.”
It’s useless to say I haven’t been a little worried about the arrangement, but I won’t get in the middle of it. I can only hope everything will work out. “I hope so. It sounds like Mo and Gabe are very similar when it comes to doing things their own way though, so I hope they won’t clash.”
Hannah gives me a reassuring smile. “They’re both adults, so they’ll figure it out. Stop worrying about it.”
I snort. “I know, I know.”
Hudson clears his throat and walks over to me with his arms outstretched. “I haven’t seen this cutie pie all day. Let me have her for a few minutes before I have to leave.” In less than a minute, he bounces her around the kitchen, his laughter mixing with Mirabelle’s giggles.
The sweet sound fills the air and makes my heart swell. Seeing them together like this has become an almost daily occurrence, making it nearly impossible to imagine a life without any of it.
But, as always, reality likes to come knocking on my door.
Hannah just told me last night that her kitchen will finally be finished in the next week. She wants to wait with her move back home until after the bakery opening, though, so she can help me with everything as much as possible.
That means I have to be realistic about finding a place to stay too. I can’t just stay here and play house with Hudson since there’s really no valid reason for that. Hannah said we can stay with her as long as we want, but I don’t want to take advantage of her. The last thing I want to be is a burden. Mira and I lived by ourselves in New York, so there’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to do it here either.
“Earth to Charlie.” Hannah waves her arms in front of my face. “Are you all right? You look a little pale all of a sudden.”
That woman can read me like an open book sometimes—it’s scary. “What? Me? Yeah, I’m all good. Just a little nervous about everything coming up, I guess.” No need to divulge my worries right now.
Hannah nods, even though she doesn’t look convinced. Maybe it’s the fact I zoned out while staring at Hudson and Mirabelle that made her suspicious.
She grabs her purse from the bar stool next to her and swings it over her shoulder. “Well, I
’m going to leave. I’m meeting up with the ladies first, and then Paul and I are headed to the movies. No need to wait up for me.” She winks at me, and we both laugh.
“Sounds like fun.” I might be just a little jealous of Hannah having more of a social life than I do, a very doting boyfriend included.
“Do you have anything fun going on for the rest of the day?”
I shake my head. “Nothing major. I just need to respond to a few more work emails. You need to be after people so they can get their job done on time. The bakery opening is getting closer, and there’s still so much to do.”
“I’m sure it’ll all work out. People here always pull through things together. It’s a great community.”
“I’ve noticed. Everyone’s been very helpful and accommodating, so I’m not really worried.”
She tilts her head to the side and gives me a smile. “Good. Maybe try and relax some tonight. Have some good food and a glass of wine once Mira’s in bed? I bought that rosé wine you like so much.”
I walk over to her and give her a hug—she more than deserves one for everything she constantly does for us. “Thanks so much. You’re an angel.”
She pulls back after a moment of us clinging to each other, her eyes suddenly looking as misty as mine feel. She waves me away with her usual air of nonchalance, sniffling a little. “Oh please, it’s nothing. Don’t even mention it.” Clearing her throat, she squeezes my arm lightly. “Just try and take the night off, okay? You’ve been working so hard, I know you must be exhausted. You deserve a little break.”
Hudson walks over to us with a smile on his face, Mira chewing on something he must have given her. “Don’t worry, Grandma. I’ll make sure Charlie won’t be working tonight.”
“Well, I’m happy to hear that. Take good care of our girls. Don’t let Charlie anywhere near her computer tonight.” They both chuckle like they’re super masterminds at work.
I can’t stop the smile from appearing on my face though. Instead, I shake my head at them. “You guys are impossible. Someone has to do the work. The bakery won’t get done by itself.”
“We know that, we’re only teasing.” Hannah looks at her watch. “Sorry, guys, but I’ve got to run. Have a good night.”
Hudson and Mira wave at Hannah’s departing figure. “You too, Grandma. Tell Paul to be good to you, or I’ll have a word with him.”
Hannah laughs loudly at his comment. “I will. Bye, guys.”
Once the front door closes, Hudson walks over to the corner of the living room where we put part of Mirabelle’s toys and sets her down on the big foam mat on the floor. The whole house is baby-proofed to the ninth, at least the areas Mirabelle spends time in.
All thanks to a certain rockstar.
Even though I told Hudson it wasn’t necessary, he insisted. Apparently, he didn’t want her in a “baby cage,” as he calls it, all day long, so he took matters into his own hands. A few weeks ago, when we came back home from the bakery one day, the house had turned into one of the safest places for babies I’ve ever seen.
Mirabelle loves the newfound freedom, happily banging around with her toys when Hudson walks back over.
It’s fantastic being able to still see Mira everywhere in the living room and dining area while I’m in the kitchen. I’m utterly in love with this open floor plan. It makes life so much easier.
“So, pretty mama.” He plops down on one of the bar stools across from me and puts his elbows on the bar, leaning forward as much as possible. “Seems like it’s you and me tonight, huh?”
Gaping at him and the way he makes such a simple remark somehow sound the tiniest bit dirty. It makes my cheeks immediately flush with heat, and I press my palms to them, feeling how hot they are.
He chuckles softly. “Don’t look so surprised. You know I think you’re absolutely breathtaking.”
“I don’t know, Hudson.” I can’t deny I’m flattered, but doubt and fear still creep into my system, almost on autopilot. I know his offer sounds harmless, but deep down inside, I know things will change after our time together tonight.
“I won’t take no for an answer. I promised Grandma, and I believe you still owe me a story too.” His tone is playful, which makes me a little anxious. I think he still assumes the story about my past won’t be worse or crazier than his. Otherwise, I don’t think he’d be so lighthearted about it and that scares me.
If only I knew how he’d react.
But when are things ever that easy?
He’s right, though. I did promise I’d share my story with him too.
Usually, I keep my word.
“I’ll order us Chinese takeout.” Hudson knows that’s my weakness.
“All right! You’ve got yourself a deal. You and me tonight.”
He grins in triumph while I cross my fingers behind my back, hoping this won’t end badly.
Chapter Twenty
Hudson’s peeking over my shoulder at the monitor in my hand, his warm breath hitting my neck. “Is she asleep?”
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, needing a moment to collect myself. “Yeah. She was exhausted after an extra early morning and being active all day. She passed out the second she hit the mattress.”
I put the baby monitor on the patio table in front of me. Hudson thought it would be a great night for us to spend outside in the backyard, and I have to agree. One side of the patio has a canopied sitting area with comfortable sofas and chairs—there’s even a little mini kitchen next to the barbecue—all of it surrounded by twinkling lights that will look lovely when it gets dark. The sun will be setting soon, which also means a drop in degrees, but Hudson has thought of that too, having turned on the heaters around us. The warmth is already seeping into my body, making me all cozy and comfortable.
It seems like Hudson thought of everything. The Chinese takeout is spread out on the table, looking like we could feed at least five families with it. The bottle of my favorite wine Hannah mentioned is right next to a bottle of water. I always like to have some water with my wine, yet another thing Hudson has picked up on over time. We’ve known each other for about a month now, but it definitely feels more like years.
Sometimes, I wonder if that’s a good or a bad thing. I know it definitely scares me a bit at times. It makes me feel vulnerable to have someone in my life know me so well already, and who oftentimes seems to see straight through me—almost like he has a direct connection to my thoughts and heart.
Hudson rubs his hands together, grinning like a little school kid. “I hope you’re hungry.”
“Yes! Starving, actually. What did you get? It smells delicious.” I’m curious and lean over the numerous bags, the exquisite aromas wafting in the air around me. My stomach lets out a big growl, and I quickly cover it with my hands.
Hudson chuckles beside me. By now, he knows I’m not like some of his previous dates—who, according to Mo, mostly looked stick-thin—because I love to eat. Not that we’re having a date of course, at least not a real one. We’re just having dinner together.
A date-dinner amongst friends. That’s totally a thing, right? No matter how attracted you are to said friend.
He starts opening a few boxes and tips them in my direction, so I can get a good look. “I know you like to have a variety, so I wanted to cover my bases and got a bit of everything.”
My throat suddenly feels dry, making it hard to swallow, and it takes a lot more effort to get my words out. “Thank you. That was very sweet of you.”
The smile he gives me in response is absolutely breathtaking. It reaches his eyes, making them sparkle as the sun slowly goes down around us. I’m unable to do anything but stare at him—completely and utterly mesmerized.
I snap out of it when he holds out a fork to me. “You pick first.”
After taking a quick sip of water, I clear my throat. “If you insist.”
“I do.” The words come out of his mouth in a sweet whisper, making my heart clench.
Gah. This man.
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Those two words have always been a bittersweet reminder of my past, but for the first time, I don’t feel any discomfort. I avert my eyes from his intense stare and focus on the food in front of me, piling up all of my favorites on my plate. After Hudson does the same, we eat in comfortable silence with the occasional secret glance between us. Mostly, we both appear to be in deep thought, which neither one of us seems to mind.
We make a much bigger dent in the food than I thought was possible for two people. Apparently, I wasn’t the only hungry one.
Leaning back on the couch, I rub my belly with a satisfied grin on my face and my eyes close for a second, enjoying this blissful moment. “That was so good. Thanks again, Hudson. I’m so full, I could go to sleep right now.”
He shakes his head. “No way. You owe me a bedtime story first.”
There it is. I can’t blame him for being after me with this. I’ve been dropping enough cryptic comments over the past few weeks that his curiosity must be through the roof. Not to mention he already told me his story, and I’ve promised him to tell him mine too.
Taking a deep breath, the doubts bounce through my mind like kangaroos on steroids. “I can’t guarantee a happy ending, though.”
The smile is wiped from Hudson’s face, his voice filled with worry. “It’s not that bad, is it?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I’m not sure what to tell him.
Yes, I think it’s that bad? More than bad. The worst possible time of my entire life?
Right now, I’m hoping I can even get through the story.
Well, here goes nothing. “I don’t know where to start, to be honest. There’s so much to tell, and I’m not even sure you want to hear all of it because it’s just so much garbage. On the other side, I don’t want you to hear about it later on from someone else, or think I was lying to you, especially after you were so honest and open with me.”
He takes both of my hands in his and squeezes them gently. The warm skin contact is such a weird and unexpected sensation that I gape at our intertwined hands for a moment—his so much bigger and tanner than mine. The blood buzzes through my veins at a speed that almost makes me dizzy, yet the contact still offers me some comfort too.
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