Hudson is opening his mouth, probably to tell me exactly what he thinks of Sebastian’s behavior, but I shake my head.
“Don’t. I’m pretty sure I know what you want to say, and trust me, I’ve felt all of it and worse. It took me a while, but I eventually realized that I was only making myself and my life miserable. He didn’t care I was unhappy and so incredibly mad at him—he didn’t even know about it. The only thing it did was take away from my life and with that, from Mira’s too. Mo said she wouldn’t leave me alone until she thought I could handle everything, so I had to get a grip on it. As much as I didn’t want her to leave, I didn’t want her to throw away her career for me either.”
Hudson lifts his hand and gently cradles my cheek. “You’re a good friend. A very good friend.” Without thinking, I lean into his touch and briefly close my eyes. We stay like this for the longest moment, and I enjoy every second of it. “And you’re obviously way more mature than I’ll ever be. I can’t imagine I’d have calmed down after all of that. You’re an extraordinary woman, an incredibly strong one.”
Despite everything, his comment makes me laugh. That’s actually one of the things I... what, like so much about him? “You would’ve eventually too. Maybe not as fast as I did, but even you would’ve realized how much it can change your life for the better if you did.” I wink at him, enjoying this more playful moment after all the sadness.
“Ah, there’s my sassy Charlie again. I’ve missed you.” He rubs his thumb over my cheek.
Once.
Twice.
Three times before he drops his hand.
All the while, I stand as still as a statue.
My heart thumps wildly in my chest, reminding me once more of how much I like this guy.
Then it hits me.
He’s still here.
Still supportive and nice to me, even after everything I just told him. A couple new tears form in my eyes while I try to smile up at him.
“Hey, none of that anymore.” He wipes away the tears that have already escaped, not bothered by it in the slightest. “I don’t think I can handle seeing you sad anymore.”
Sniffing as quietly as possible, I chuckle. “Those are the good tears.”
“Happy tears?”
I nod fervently. “I just realized you’re still here after hearing my story.”
He blinks. “Of course I am. Did you think I wouldn’t be? Did you expect me to just get up and leave?”
Since I’m not really sure, I shrug. “Honestly, I don’t know. I was just terrified of your reaction.”
“Come here.” He pulls me closer to him, and I easily relax into his body. “I’d never react badly to anything you told me. You’re one of the strongest and bravest people I’ve ever met. Not everyone would’ve done what you did or turned their whole life upside down to make the most of it. You could’ve easily fallen into your mom’s footsteps or taken five million other wrong steps somewhere along the line. Instead, you kicked life in the butt and made it a great one for yourself—all built on determination and hard work.”
Pulling back, he stares into my eyes for a long moment, almost as if he wants to convey the meaningfulness of his words. “And you’re still the best and most wonderful mom to Mira, and an incredible woman on top of it. Nothing can change those things. You hear me? Nothing.”
His gaze is intense, completely backing up his statement. I’m drawn to him like he’s got a magical spell over me. The sincerity is written all over his face, making me bite my cheek again. Even though it seems like I still have plenty more tears left, neither one of us needs any more today.
“Thank you.” My voice is quiet, but I need him to know I really mean it.
When his all-consuming gaze becomes too much, I avert my eyes, suddenly having the strong urge to kiss him. I know from experience it would be incredible, but I don’t think it would be a good moment after a conversation like this.
“Looks like it might be time to call it a night, huh?” Hudson brushes a strand of hair out of my face. “I’m sure you’re ready for some sleep by now.”
A big yawn escapes me at his words, making both of us laugh. Emotional conversations and tears always make me overly tired. “Sleep does sound good.”
He goes to the table and starts putting empty cartons into the takeout bag. “Why don’t you go inside while I clean up.”
“Don’t be silly, I can help you. You were already sweet enough to get everything ready.”
“It was nothing.”
This man makes me want to sigh constantly. “Well, then it’s nothing for me to help put it all away either.”
Hudson chuckles. “Is this how it’s going to be? You all stubborn about this?”
Putting my hands on my hips, I smile up at him, enjoying this new, light feeling now that my past is out in the open. “Yup. No one needs to clean up after me, especially not some hot rockstar. Now stop being so charming already, and let’s get this done.”
The words have barely left my mouth when Hudson freezes, the air around us becoming charged with emotion. He sets down the few things he was holding and slowly comes back over to me. For some reason, he reminds me of a predator stalking its prey. His strides are precise and powerful while his eyes are solely fixated on mine.
My feet start moving on their own accord, slowly walking backwards. “What...what are you doing, Hudson?”
“Nothing. Why do you think I’m doing anything?” The smirk on his face tells otherwise, practically screams it.
Since I backed myself into a counter next to the grill, he’s almost right in front of me, still not slowing down. Just when I think he’s going to run into me, he stops mere inches away. His breath is warm on my face, his eyes studying me intently.
“I… I…” I can get neither a coherent thought going nor a full word out of my mouth.
He leans in, touching my forehead gently with his. “Charlie! You can’t say something like that and expect me not to react. I respect the hell out of you and try to do things right by you, but I can only take so much.”
Closing my eyes, I enjoy his nearness so incredibly much. “Every now and then, it’s hard to bite my tongue around you. You’re making my brain all mushy. Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m saying, let alone what thoughts rush through my brain.”
He chuckles, obviously enjoying what I said. “That’s good. I like that. A lot. That means you’re being honest without a barrier between us, and that’s exactly how I want you to be with me.”
My hands start shaking next to my thighs as he gently takes them into his. Before I can react, he raises his head and lifts both hands up to his face, placing a soft kiss on the back of each of them.
For a moment, I think my brain short-circuits as I look back and forth between his face and my now tingling hands. This man might have his flaws, just like we all do, but at this very moment, he’s pretty perfect.
My mouth does its own thing again, babbling out what’s on my mind. The only difference is, this time, my heart is on the same page, beating rapidly with nerves and anticipation.
“Hudson, I don’t think I want to be alone tonight.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Self-doubt shows its ugly face, threatening to consume me when Hudson doesn’t immediately reply. He’s staring at me, and I’m not sure I can handle a rejection from him right now. After what feels like forever, he finally nods. His expression is soft and his gaze gentle. My guess is he knows exactly how much of a mess I am right now.
No matter the reason, relief floods through me, and I let out a big breath.
One of his hands brushes over my hair and pauses at the back of my neck before he leans in to kiss my forehead, his lips lingering on my skin for a moment. I can’t deny I’m a tiny bit disappointed it’s only my forehead, but I also understand it’s probably not the best moment for more.
He lets go of me after squeezing one of my hands. “Let’s finish this up then.”
I nod. “Sounds good.”
We clean up in silence, making quick work of everything while I try to keep my thoughts focused on the task in front of me instead of what I’m about to do. Even though I’m the one that made the offer, I’d normally have a major freak-out over it. Thankfully, I’m too exhausted though, and my emotions are on the down low. At least for now.
Once we’re inside, I take the big notepad from one of the drawers. “I’m just going to leave a note for Hannah. I want her to know what’s going on, just in case she needs anything. Is that okay with you?”
Hudson shrugs his shoulders, looking at me like I’m a difficult puzzle he’s trying to solve. “Of course. It’s pretty much pointless to hide anything from that woman anyway.”
With a small smile on my face, I write my note. “There, all done.” Ripping it off the pad, I tape it to the fridge, spinning on my heels to face Hudson.
“She’ll be happy to know that everything’s okay.” Hudson holds out his hand to me. “She knows, doesn’t she?”
“She does.” I’m not sure how he’s going to feel about that piece of information, but his expression doesn’t change. “She flew out to New York to see us last year after everything happened. She stayed with me and Mira for a few days after Mo left to make sure we were doing all right.”
“That sounds like her. Grandma is a very special person.” He walks over to me and pulls me into him. “Just like you, Charlie.”
Our bodies are flush together, and I lean my head on his chest. He’s lazily caressing my hair and back, and I close my eyes to enjoy the moment.
This evening has broken down a barrier between us, bringing us closer together in a way that feels both natural and, if I’m honest, it also feels right. It’s like we’re meant to be like this, and it’s been way too long since I’ve felt this content, if I’ve ever actually felt close to this good before. “I’m so happy she talked me into moving over here.”
“That woman deserves a medal of some sort. I’m thrilled you guys are here, I can’t even tell you how much.” He holds me tightly for a moment before letting go. “Ready?”
I nod, heat shooting through my body and into my cheeks. When I told Hudson I didn’t want to be alone tonight, I wasn’t really thinking it through. Now, I’m not sure what to expect at all. Nerves zap through my body, suddenly making me aware of just how close we are, how close we’ve been all night.
Despite everything I told Hudson, he’s been very attentive and kind. I’m not positive I would’ve been able to get through the whole story without him by my side and his constant reassurance. He deserves to know that.
“Thank you for tonight, Hudson. As you can imagine, I was more than just a little anxious to tell you everything, but you’ve been nothing but wonderful.”
“I appreciate your trust, it means a lot. I love knowing more about you, even though I hate you had to go through so much in your life. I can’t help but be incredibly happy, though, that Sebastian was such a major jerk. Because look at you. You’re here now, with me. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the most important thing.”
Apparently, it takes this wonderful man to allow me to look at my past in a way I haven’t been able to before. For some reason—maybe because I was so wrapped up in the negative parts of my life—I’ve never even thought of seeing the positive of it like that.
Without a doubt, there are a lot of good things that have come from it.
As the realization rings true, I feel the inside of my chest burning in pure glee.
“Plus”—Hudson taps my nose lightly with his finger—“now I think you’re even more awesome. And let me tell you, I already thought you were pretty spectacular beforehand. Now, you’re above and beyond that, in superwoman territory.”
I touch my hot cheeks, feeling extremely embarrassed by all the praise. “Stop it. You’re making me blush.”
“Why would I do such a thing? I love making you blush. You look so damn cute with your flushed cheeks, not to mention, incredibly beautiful and sexy too.”
“Oh gosh, enough now.” I hide my face behind my hands until he peels them off slowly.
We both chuckle at my obvious discomfort. Trying to laugh it off always seems to be one of the best ways to deal with embarrassment.
The laughter quickly turns into another big yawn.
Hudson takes my hand. “Definitely time for bed. It’s been a long day.”
I don’t complain when he pulls me through the kitchen and the entrance hall toward the staircase. When we’re at the top of the stairs, I pull my hand out of his. “I’m just going to change and get my things, okay?”
He nods and winks. “You know where to find me.”
A quick glance toward his bedroom door brings back the nervous flutter in my stomach, and I swallow loudly. “I do. I’ll be quick.”
I can feel his eyes on me all the way down the hallway until I disappear behind my bedroom door.
After a quick cleanup, I take way too long to figure out what to wear. I finally give up, deciding to keep it simple with some pajama shorts and a tank top.
Stop overthinking it, Charlie. This is Hudson. You basically just poured your whole heart out to him, and he’s still there.
If that doesn’t show what a good guy he is, I don’t know what does.
Making sure I have Mirabelle’s baby monitor and my phone, I head to his room.
My heart beats like crazy when I stand in front of the big white double doors, and a moment of doubt creeps in.
Before I can think about backing out last minute, the door opens, revealing the subject of my nervousness.
Hudson takes a step forward and leans against the doorjamb. “I thought I heard something. You okay there?”
Blinking at him, I nod. “Yes.” It comes out more like a shriek, but either he doesn’t notice or he chooses to ignore it.
Pushing off the side, he takes my hand. “Good. Let’s get you in bed then. You look like you’re ready to pass out. I’m sure tonight was exhausting as hell.”
“Maybe a little.” I bite my lip as I take a step forward.
He chuckles as he pulls me inside and closes the door quietly behind us. “I wasn’t sure if you prefer a specific side of the bed, so I’m leaving it up to you to pick first. I want you to feel comfortable.”
I look at him in awe as he points toward the large king-size bed, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Who would have thought this huge superstar would turn out to be this sweet, humble, and considerate person? He could have just about any woman he wants by his side, but he’s here. With me. Letting me pick which side of his bed I want.
Without a doubt, this man is one of the best people I’ve ever met in my whole life.
Unequivocally.
Turning to him, I pull on his hand until he faces me. “Has anyone ever told you how special you are?”
The light is dimmed in the room, but I’m almost sure I can see a faint blush on his cheeks.
He coughs awkwardly, almost as if the air got stuck in his throat. “Besides my family and my fans, no one has ever said anything like that to me. At least not anyone that actually matters to me.”
Who would have thought? It’s mind-blowing how blind people can be—not seeing what’s right in front of their eyes.
That thought makes me stop right in my tracks. Isn’t that what I’ve been doing this whole time?
Maybe a little bit. This whole time, I’ve been aware of how great of a guy he is, but I guess I didn’t realize just how genuinely good he is until tonight.
Looks like it’s time to put on those big girl panties and take a chance—albeit a very slow and cautious one. Just to be on the safe side.
“Well, Hudson. You are very special—like extraordinarily special. You’ve been there for me from day one, even though you didn’t know who we were or what was going on with us. You never asked questions or tried to be pushy. You gave me the time I needed to open up to you, and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. It’s not easy to share
your own four walls with a stranger, let alone when that stranger comes with a baby in tow too. You’re very different. Nothing like I thought you’d be, but in the best possible way.”
“Thank you, even though I didn’t really do anything.” It’s easy to tell he’s flustered by the way he avoids my gaze and plays with my fingertips.
It’s cute. It’s adorable. And it’s also incredibly sexy.
My heart.
He’s cute. He’s adorable. And he’s so incredibly sexy.
Oh, how the tables have turned. No wonder he enjoys doing this so much to me.
He clears his throat and pulls on my hand. “Now stop talking nonsense and get into bed.”
Laughing in response, I notice for the first time that he changed into different clothes too—a pair of workout shorts and a plain white T-shirt. I briefly wonder if that’s his usual sleep attire, or if he put on more clothes than usual for my benefit. I wouldn’t put it past him wanting to make me comfortable, especially tonight of all nights.
Maybe he usually sleeps naked?
Oh, the possibilities.
That’s something to figure out another time.
Maybe. Hopefully.
We stand in front of the bed, shoulder to shoulder, our hands linked between us. I nudge his shoulder with mine. “Where do you usually sleep?”
“Probably right in the middle.”
“Same.”
We both chuckle.
I point to one side of the bed. “I’ll just take the right side then. It gives me quicker access to the door in case Mira needs me.”
“Sounds good. Hop in then.” But before I can even make a step, he spins me around by my shoulders, pulling me close to him. “Wait. There’s one more thing.”
Gazing into my eyes, he closes the distance between us, his lips meeting mine in a soft, feathery kiss. A quiet sigh escapes both of us at almost the same time, making me smile against his mouth. When he starts moving his lips gently on mine, I’m immediately lost in the sensation and feeling.
This kiss is different than our first.
It has been an emotional evening for both of us, and it shows in every single one of his movements. He’s tender and sweet, yet careful while still making sure he conveys how much he enjoys doing this with me.
Baking With A Rockstar (A Brooksville Novel Book 1) Page 18