CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ryder
I woke up on the couch at dawn the next morning. I had a meeting with the President of the Gypsy Rebels MC early that morning, and I wanted to check in with Zander and Doc before I left.
I had taken a huge risk bringing her here, but at the time I was convinced it was only going to be a for a few hours. I never expected it would turn into days. And I never expected she would wake up and not know who the fuck she was.
“I don't know what to do, brother,” I said to Zander. Zander was the calmest of all the Gods. He has also the biggest drinker. The smell of his skin was soaked with alcohol as we sat around the kitchen table together. His nose was bright red, and there were days when I really worried about him. I drank a lot, but now that I was a little older, it was more and more difficult to wake up and reach for the bottle before anything else. Zander’s bottle sat on the table in front of him, a permanent fixture, no matter the time of day.
“Just let her stay for a few more days,” he said. “There’s probably people looking for her somewhere. Or, maybe not. It’s hard to say. A lot of hookers have nobody except their pimp.”
“We don’t know that’s what she is,” I growled.
“Well, if it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck…” he replied, bringing the bottle to his lips as he chuckled to himself. “Maybe you should have her give you a blow job, then you can see if it’s of professional quality!”
He pounded the table with his tattooed hand, laughing so hard at his joke, I thought he was going to fall over.
“Fuck off,” I said. “She doesn’t look like a whore at all, actually.”
I was irritated with this whole situation.
“Look, I'm going to meet Hernandez this morning. That huge shipment of weed is coming up from Humboldt next week, and we have to set up a time and place to make the exchange. Then, we gotta transport it up the coast to the warehouse and separate it.”
“Probably be a good idea if the lady is gone by then, don’t you think, boss?” Zander said. Doc just sat there silently listening, shaking his head back and forth.
“She might not remember who she is by then,” he said. “Could take weeks, months…years, maybe.”
“The last thing we need is anyone sniffing around for a missing hooker,” Zander said. “Especially cops. She was on our road.”
“Look, I fucking know, okay? What do you expect me to do, just abandon her somewhere?”
“I don’t know, man. You’re the boss.”
“Yeah, that’s right,” I said. I stood up to leave.
“So just let me do my fucking job. I’ll take care of it,” I said, knowing full well that I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Grace
We sat next to each other on the couch so we could both see the computer.
“So, any luck since last night?” Riot asked.
“No, nothing,” I replied. “I slept like a log. No dreams, nothing at all. My mind is still a complete blank.”
“That’s too bad,” he said.
“It might help if I could ask someone some questions? Some basic stuff? I was supposed to do this with Ryder today, but he seems to have disappeared.”
“Oh, okay. You can ask me. Ryder had to take care of some club business. He’ll be back later.”
“Oh, okay, sure.” My head had been filled with a million questions since I woke up last night. And now, I was drawing a blank. What did I need to know to pull up the important stuff?
“What are the questions?”
“Well, okay, where are we exactly?”
“We’re in the Tillamook Forest. Just west of Portland, Oregon.”
“Right, I knew that, I guess. So,” I hesitated. “How far away from things are we? You know, like a police station or a hospital?”
His eyes squinted curiously.
“I hope you aren’t thinking of going anywhere, Miss. You’ll need to talk to Ryder about that.”
“What?” His answer caught me off guard. Was I thinking about going there? Even if I was, I didn’t realize I needed to clear it with anyone. “Um, no, I was just trying to figure out where the nearest town is.”
“Oh, well that would be the coastal town of Tillamook. Home of the famous Tillamook Cheese Factory. Ever heard of squeaky cheese? Ring any bells?”
“Hmm…no, not at all, actually. Why does the cheese squeak?”
Riot laughed.
“Hell if I know. I just know when you bite down, it squeaks. It’s fucking weird. And it’s weird for a town to be known for a cheese factory. There are some amazing beaches there, though. It’s right on the coast. And just north of that is Manzanita and Cannon Beach, and Seaside, and then Astoria.”
“Shit, none of that means much to me at all.”
“That’s okay. Let’s take a look through the missing persons listing for the neighboring states. We’ll check California, first. It might take a while, but I don’t have anything else to do today,” Riot said. He smiled mischievously. “Do you?” he asked, laughing.
I rolled my eyes at his joke.
“Well, if I do, I guess you could say it’s slipped my mind. I have a good excuse.” We laughed together, and I realized it was the first time I had laughed about anything since I woke up.
It felt good to laugh. Some of the heaviness lifted from my chest and I shook my head as Riot laughed with me.
“Okay, let’s see what we can find…” he said, clicking furiously on his keyboard.
We spent hours searching through the listings, and before we knew it, it was late afternoon. I had already slept late, and the few hours of the day had flown by.
Riot was nice. I was comfortable with him, and despite his intimidating appearance, he was a warm, easy-going guy. We spent hours looking through faces of missing strangers, and I was grateful for his patience. We found nothing at all, though.
Nothing sparked even the slightest bit of recognition for me. It was frustrating, and there were times when I grew upset and overwhelmed at the enormity of my situation, but Riot was kind and calm and sat there patting my leg reassuringly and doing his best to make me laugh throughout the day.
And that’s exactly the scene that Ryder walked in on. We were huddled on the couch together, the laptop in front of us, but Riot had just made a funny comment about someone’s name we had come across, and I laughed out loud just as Ryder strode through the door. Riot’s hand lay firmly on my knee.
The look on Ryder’s face made my heart skip a beat. What was that I saw? Surprise, jealousy, hunger?
I think it surprised all three of us, because within seconds Riot and I were pulling away from each other and greeting Ryder as if the little skip of time hadn’t occurred.
But the tension hung in the room, crushing my heart until I almost couldn’t breathe as Ryder began speaking to me.
“How are you feeling?” he asked first, his eyes filling with the now familiar concern, breaking the awkwardness.
“I feel pretty great, actually. I ate like a ravenous wolf or something. Cherry makes amazing bacon,” I replied, as my stomach growled out loud. Embarrassingly loud.
Ryder looked down at my belly, and then back up to my face, his eyebrow arched questioningly as he smiled.
“Well, that was hours ago. I guess I’m hungry again,” I said, shrugging.
“I’ve been thinking, though,” I said. “I think I should go into town. Take a look around a bit. See if it triggers anything for me.”
“Yeah?” he replied. “So, no luck on the computer?”
“No, nothing useful at all. I’m still a complete blank.”
Ryder nodded silently. The air grew thick with tension again as the three of us exchanged glances.
Riot closed his computer and stood up.
“Well, good luck,” he said to me. “I’ll keep thinking and searching.”
“Thank you, Riot. I really appreciate your help.”
“Sure, su
re, no problem.” He left, nodding respectfully at Ryder as he passed him.
“So, you want to venture into civilization, huh?”
“Yes. Seems like the logical thing to do next.”
“Well, all right then, I’ll take you. You said you’re hungry? We can go to Tillamook. Find some dinner.”
“Yeah? Okay, thanks, Ryder,” I replied. “That sounds great. I’m ravenous!”
“We’ll take it slow. Tillamook’s closer than Portland. We can eat, drive around, see what happens.”
“Perfect.” I said, smiling gratefully at him. I was taking this one tiny step at a time, and while everyone had been so nice to me here, the only person I really felt safe with was Ryder. Maybe it was because he was the first person I saw when I woke up. Maybe it was because he was the one who rescued me. Maybe it was because he was obviously concerned about me. Or, maybe, just maybe, it was because he was dripping with extremely masculine confidence that inspired complete trust in him.
He strode past me, his confident swagger satisfying something deep inside me. I needed that. I had no confidence in anything else, but this man in front of me was like a rock. A force that couldn’t be compromised. I wasn’t sure of much, and when it came to my feelings about myself, I felt nothing but vulnerable and empty. The last thing I wanted was to be dependent on anyone, but I didn’t know what I would do without Ryder at this point.
I sighed, submitting to the fact that I needed him.
I wasn’t about to say that out loud, though. No matter how strongly I felt it.
“I’ll see if I can find you some leathers,” he said, turning on his heel and walking back out of the room.
“Leathers?” I asked to the empty room.
***
We flew around the curves of the winding road leading to the coast. I held on tightly, my arms wrapped around Ryder’s waist, his Harley vibrating loudly between my thighs as I wrapped them around his narrow hips. Heat radiated from his body, and my tight grip kept slipping up under his cut, giving me a chance to feel the rippling muscles under his t-shirt.
As we rounded a particularly tight curve, I clutched him even tighter. He reached back, his glove-wrapped hand patting my thigh reassuringly. There was something about that action that cut right through me. Electricity shot through my body, and it was all I could do to catch my breath as the bike sliced through the wind.
The sun was just beginning to set, but the tall pines lining the road created a thick tower of darkness all around us, blocking out any remaining sunlight. Ryder’s headlight was the only light breaking through the blackness. It was beautiful and eerie.
Ryder had given me a leather jacket, a pair of leather boots, leather gloves and a helmet that was slightly too big for me. I tried to look around as we roared down the road, keeping my eyes open for anything familiar, but nothing but trees flew past us in the last remnants of the fading light.
I wondered if I had ever been on a bike before. Everything about it was unfamiliar, though. Still, it was thrilling. The feeling of the open air rushing past you, the rebelliousness of throwing caution to the wind and putting nothing between the asphalt and your skin but a layer of leather and blue jeans. Ryder was obviously a seasoned rider, and he operated the bike with as much confidence as he did everything else. Once again, I realized I was entirely in his hands.
This was becoming a habit.
And I had to admit, as a woman, it was comforting. He was strong, handsome, and extremely protective of me. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I felt the first twinges of attraction to him then. Or, maybe I felt it the first moment I opened my eyes and saw him in front of me. Whenever it was, I was now fully aware of it. I was a little shocked that those feelings were getting through, past all the confusion and uncertainty I was feeling. Past all the despair of not being able to remember anything.
It was almost freeing. If I knew what I was being freed from, that is.
That was the hardest part of all of this, the not knowing. Not knowing what or who was waiting for me. It was frightening. And it scared me to the very depths of my soul. My arms tightened around Ryder a little more as my mind wandered throughout the trip.
When he finally pulled off the road, it was into the parking lot of a run down bar. The Rodeo Roadhouse looked like it was straight out of a Patrick Swayze movie. I half-expected to see people fighting and being thrown out of the two saloon-style swinging doors we walked through. Peanut shells littered the floor, the smell of old, stale beer assaulted my senses, and country music echoed through the place. In addition to the beer, the distinct scent of bacon and burgers went straight to my starving stomach.
Ryder led me to a booth in the back and we sat down, placing our helmets on the seats next to us.
“It’s not fancy, but they have the best burgers within 20 miles,” he said with that sexy half-grin of his.
“It’ll do just fine. As long as they’re quick. I don’t know why I’m so damned hungry.”
“I do. Outside of that IV, you haven’t eaten but once in four days. Makes sense to me.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I said. My amnesia colored everything, every second of everything I did. We ordered from the saucy red-headed waitress, and I noticed that she couldn’t keep her eyes off Ryder as she stood by our booth. I looked around, and saw that everyone else was staring, too.
I looked over at him again, and it all made sense. He was huge, his towering frame was likely intimidating to even the most masculine of men, his meaty, tattooed arms absolutely screaming rebellion. And that cut he wore - the scattered patches symbolizing things that I had no clue about - probably communicated more to these local people than it did to me.
If Ryder noticed, he didn’t let on. His attention was focused on me, his eyes glued to my face as he watched my every move.
“So?” he asked.
“So what?”
“Anything? Any sparks of memory at all?”
“Oh. No,” I replied. “I don’t think I’ve ever been here before.”
“No, I should hope not. I wasn’t talking about this place. Just, you know,” he said, glancing away from me and then back again. “I was just wondering if you remembered anything at all today.”
“No,” I said, simply.
“Well, that’s okay. Give it time,” he said.
“Yeah, I guess,” I replied, smiling across the table at him. “You getting sick of me yet? You probably want your bed back, huh?”
“Hardly,” he replied. “Well, I mean I’m not getting sick of you. I do miss my bed, I must admit.”
“I’m sorry. Isn’t there anywhere else I could sleep, so you can have it back?”
His eyes narrowed at my suggestion.
“Nowhere I’d want you sleeping,” he said gruffly.
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously.
“Nevermind. I’m sure any one of my brothers would be happy to offer up a bed, but I don’t trust them as far as I could throw them. At least not when it comes to keeping their hands off of you.”
“Oh. Right.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure something out.”
“Where have you been sleeping?” I asked.
“I haven’t,” he replied.
I felt even worse than before.
“Listen, Ryder, I just want to say thank you again. You’ve done so much for me, and I have nothing to offer you in return. I promise, once this is all over, I’ll pay you back somehow for your trouble.”
“You don’t owe me a thing. You don’t worry about that. You just focus on getting better, that’s all I care about.”
“Thank you,” I said. “That’s very kind of you.”
He chuckled loudly.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m known for - kindness. Some people might disagree with you.”
“I don’t care what anyone else thinks. It’s obvious to me that you have a huge heart. Why else would anyone do what you did?”
“Well, I couldn’t just leave y
ou there lying on the side of the road, could I?”
“Sure, you could have.”
“Well. I didn’t. And now, here we are.”
“You could have just called the cops.”
“That’s not my style,” he said, winking at me. “I try to avoid the police at all costs. Never been very friendly with them. I guess you could say they don’t like the way I dress.”
I laughed, and it felt great. It was the second time I had laughed that day, the other time being with Riot earlier. I remembered the look on Ryder’s face when he walked in on us, and I wondered what he was feeling now that I had just invaded his life this way. Was he annoyed? He didn’t seem to be. Was he burdened? If so, he was taking it in stride.
“I kinda like the way you dress,” I said, teasingly, gesturing to his cut. I could smell the faint smell of leather in the air every time he was around me, and it was intoxicating.
Our beers and burgers arrived, and we dug in. The beer was delicious and I downed it quickly, before I started eating. Ryder nodded appreciatively and ordered me another one without asking if that was what I wanted.
I guess it was obvious. When I drank half of the new one just as quickly, he laughed again.
“Slow down there, Missy. Don’t want you drunkenly falling off the back of my bike.”
“You’d save me,” I said, winking at him. Was I flirting? I think I was definitely flirting, and it caught me off guard a little.
“Yeah, maybe I would. Let’s not risk it though. Your face is way too pretty for any more bruises,” he said, flirting right back.
I bit my lip, marveling at how easy talking to him was. I looked down at my hands. No rings. No tell-tale lingering indentations of any previously worn rings. So, I probably wasn’t married. But did I have a partner?
I looked across the table and for the first time, hoped that I didn’t. I didn’t know where my life would lead from here, but I didn’t mind one bit if my future included Ryder.
RAW: THE ULTIMATE MC COLLECTION Page 5