Disappointment washed over me. I had wanted the distraction, but I had also been hoping I would get a chance to see what was under that cut. I still hadn’t seen him without it, not once. I imagined myself turning around and sliding it from his shoulders, and then stripping off everything else that was in my way. I didn’t do it, though.
Instead, I settled in, his arms deliciously enveloping my torso, his warmth and strength seeping into that sleeping, needy part of me that I was desperately trying to keep pushed down deep. We laid there quietly holding each other, our breathing falling in rhythm together, nothing but the sound of a distant guitar and an old, familiar voice in the room as we drifted off to sleep in the stillness of the night.
A few hours later, I woke up haunted by a dream I had had, but as soon as I opened my eyes it was gone. It was something I needed. Something important. A spark of a memory, but it quickly retreated to the dark, inaccessibly dusty corners of my mind, and I couldn’t reach it.
Moaning in frustration, I arched my back. And then I felt it. Ryder. Ryder’s massive erection. I could hear him sleeping still, his breath steadily falling in the dark. In the few hours I had been asleep, he had only wrapped himself even tighter around me. His arms clung to me tightly, and his muscular blue-jean clad thigh was now slung over mine. He slept - deeply, peacefully. And yet, he was hard as a rock.
I couldn’t take it anymore. His gentleness. His huge fucking heart. The way he looked at me when he knew I was in pain. My heart burst with emotion, and I knew I couldn't wait any longer. I needed him. I needed that human connection, to feel like, if only for a moment, I belonged with someone. But not just anyone - him.
He was all I had.
And I wanted all of him.
I reached behind me, grabbing his hardness, gasping at the size of him. He was hot, throbbing, and now that my hand was squeezing him, he was beginning to moan in his sleep. I grinned in the dark. Gripped harder. Gentle, but firm. With intention.
His fingers tightened around my chest, finding the flesh, squeezing, his brain waking up with the rest of his body. He pressed his entire frame against me, and I rolled over, facing him, and found his lips waiting, open, ready for mine.
We melted together in a frenzy of caresses, our mouths working together to bring us closer. But it was still not close enough. I let go of his cock, my hands reaching up and fingering the edge of his cut, memorizing the feel of the leather under my fingertips, before I slid it over his chiseled shoulders, just as I had imagined so many times.
Fingers found buttons, shirts and jeans slid over our skin and pushed away, all in a fury of purposeful gestures. Skin bare, we began the dance all over again. His skin was smooth, tightly stretched over his rippling muscles, and my hands slid over every inch of him, committing every curve and crevice to memory. The need to remember every detail of this night, every detail of him, was undeniably present, a constant undercurrent of yearning that sang low and steady in my gut.
He rolled on top of me, his kisses urgent, searching, demanding. His lips pressed into mine firmly, his tongue slipping deep into me, tangling with mine sensuously. My hands flew over his velvety skin, pulling him closer to me, wrapping my legs around him tightly.
He sank into me easily, smoothly, firmly. I moaned, as he wrapped his arms around me, his mouth glued to mine, and he began to move inside me. Slowly, so excruciatingly slowly, he pressed forward, his kisses turning deeply tender as we moved together, our bodies dancing together in a perfect partnership, our only shared goal of connection deliciously met in the darkness.
Excitement flowed from my body, soaking him as he pushed into me, over and over. Faster, he fucked into me, his moans turning to groans as he began to thrust harder and harder, his need quickening with his breath as he tore his mouth from mine. His lips first found my neck, then he quickly clasped his lips around my hardened nipple.
I sunk my fingers in his hair, pulling his head into my chest, my hips flying up to meet his every thrust, as I cried out in ecstasy. I clenched around his cock, the pleasure turning to a delicious, flashing pain and then turning to great waves of bliss as I dug my fingers into his back. His mouth found mine again, as he hammered into me harder and harder, his cock swelling inside me, searing me with his hot wetness.
He kissed me even deeper as he came, his moans filling my mouth as his thrusts slowed, our bodies slick, spent, satiated. He fell next to me, and we continued to hold onto each other tightly, neither of us willing to part as we regained our breath.
I laid my head on his shoulder, as he caressed my hair, his lips brushing against my forehead as we drifted back to sleep together.
***
The house I stood in front of was tiny. Dirty, white, a broken window by the front door. A loud air-conditioner was sticking out of the bottom half of the window, dripping a wet river of condensation onto the broken concrete porch and snaking across and over the edge of it. I opened the torn screen door in front of me and stepped over the threshold. The paint-chipped wooden front door was thrown open. Dark and cavelike, the edges of the tiny space were cramped with old furniture and books and clutter.
I followed the sound of a man singing. Twangy, country, familiar. A guitar, a stomping foot. I rounded the corner of a tiny, dark hall and entered a bedroom.
A man sat on a bed. He smiled at me, a guitar in his lap as he gestured for me to sit down next to him while he continued singing.
“Remember me, when the candlelights are gleaming…
Remember me, at the close of a long, long day…
and it would be so sweet, when all alone, I’m dreaming…
just to know that you still remember me…”
I clapped my tiny hands, bouncing up and down on the bed, a huge smile spread across my face.
“More, Daddy, more!” I pleaded with him. He reached over, tucking a strand of stringy blonde hair behind my ear.
“You like that one, don’t you, baby?” he asked, his gentle eyes full of love.
“Yes!” I replied. “It’s my favorite Willie Nelson song!”
“Okay, okay, I’ll sing it one more time, just for you,” he said, his strong voice rising again as he sang to me.
***
When I woke up, the sun was streaming in through Ryder’s window. I knew I had remembered something in my dream. It was a strong memory, but I wasn’t sure what to make of it. It was foggy. So vague and almost impossible to fully recall.
I lay in bed, my eyes closed, trying to touch it again, to just grasp at a small thread to find a way to pull it back, but it was too far away. If there was anything I had learned in the last few days, it was that trying hard to remember something didn’t work. It either came back on its own or it didn’t. I let it go, hoping it would do just that.
Ryder was still asleep, and the feel of his bare skin against mine was electric. I felt like a cat rubbing against him, wantonly slipping against him for the sheer selfish pleasure of it. I watched him slowly wake up, the sunlight providing a view I didn’t get to enjoy in the dark last night.
He was even more handsome in the early morning, if that was even possible. He was all man - rugged, rough, disheveled, incredibly sexy. Dark stubble shadowed his strong jaw and I rubbed against it, the gruff texture of his face scratching me deliciously. I wanted to stay in bed with him all day long.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t. And I knew if we got started again this morning, we would never stop. And I would never figure out who I was. I needed to know, no matter how easy it was to lose myself in Ryder’s arms.
I untangled my naked body from his limbs, and he moaned in protest. I was hoping not to wake him up, but I had. I looked over my shoulder at him as I sat on the edge of the bed. He opened his eyes, and smiled a lazy, morning smile that would have melted the panties off of me if was wearing any.
How could any one man possess that much raw sexuality?
I wrapped the sheet loosely around my front. My eyes trailed down to his naked, hard cock and then back to
his smile. I leaned down, kissed his lips, and turned to walk away.
“I’m going to shower, you can join me if you’d like,” I said, taking the sheet with me, even though I knew my back was exposed.
“Well, look at that!” he exclaimed as I turned around.
“What?” I stopped, turning back to face him.
“You’ve got a tattoo!” he said. “On your back.”
“What!” I exclaimed, trying to turn around to see my back. I couldn’t see a thing. “No way!”
“Here, come here,” he said, “let me see it.”
I walked over to him, my heart racing. I hadn’t noticed anything yesterday, but I hadn’t looked at my back at all. I was shocked.
“What is it? I can’t see it,” I said, growing frustrated and frantic.
“Here just sit down,” he said. I sat on the bed as he removed the sheet, letting it fall around me, my breasts bare, my nipples hardening in the cold, morning air.
“Oh, yes, yes…this tells us everything. Mmm-hmm, oh, my,” he murmured.
“What! What does it say?” Trying to yank my head around again to see it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see a thing. “Do you have a mirror in this place?”
“Calm down, calm down, I’ll read it to you,” he said.
“Read it? What the hell?” I was growing more anxious by the second. What could it possibly say?
Ryder’s fingers traced a line on the small of my back as he spoke.
“Let’s see, it says,” he paused, infuriating me further.
“Property…,” he paused again. I was dying inside.
“What!” I said, baffled. “Property!?”
“…of…the…,” he paused again, his finger slowly tracing the tattoo on my back.
“Yep…Property of the…Gods of Chaos MC!” he said, erupting in a fit of completely unmanly giggles.
“What!” I said, hitting him and grabbing the sheet. He was laughing, and I was trying not to. “Nice joke, jerk! You really had me going there for a minute.”
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist, darlin’” he said, his laughter completely contagious. “Although, that wouldn’t be a bad tattoo for you to get. Your skin is a little bare.”
“I can’t believe you!” I shook my head, laughing at him. He pulled me down, his lips capturing mine in a smile-filled kiss.
I let him, even though I was slightly annoyed at him.
And when his smile faded, and he pushed the sheet from my body, and his kisses trailed down to my breasts, and then found their way between my thighs, I let him do that too, even though I knew I had much more important things to do.
***
Hours later, I was finally in the shower, alone, as Ryder had fallen back asleep. My body was still singing from his touch, and every inch of skin that I washed was now skin that I had shared with him. I felt like a woman that had had sex for the first time.
I was washing my hair, my eyes closed, thinking about how amazing it had felt to fall asleep in his arms last night.
And then, without thinking, I began humming a song.
“Remember me…when the candlelight is gleaming…”
The tune was faint in my memory, just a tiny flicker, then a spark, then it all came rushing back.
The dream. The man. The song.
My father.
I gasped, my eyes opening with surprise.
A memory! A real fucking memory! I slammed my eyes shut, trying to put myself back there, to take everything I could from it before it left again.
I was in the room. I was happy, because I was with him. Because he was singing for me. I looked down on the table next to the bed that was littered with a variety of things. A rotary-dial phone. A stack of paperbacks. Empty beer bottles. Mail.
My eyes trailed to the letter in my head, and I saw it. An address.
605 NE 52nd
I squinted, trying to read the city below it, but there was another piece of paper over it. I reached out my little girl hand in my mind, trying to push it away…
“Babe, you in here?” Ryder asked, throwing open the bathroom door.
I jumped, blinking and shaking my head, the scene in my head exploding into pieces.
“I remembered something!” I said, my voice rising with excitement.
“You did?” His face was at once filled with relief and regret. “What did you remember?”
“My dad,” I smiled. “I had a vision of my dad from when I was a little girl. And I saw my house! And my address. Well, a portion of it.”
“What! Wow! That’s amazing, Sam. Anything else?”
I frowned, searching my memory, but came up empty.
“No. Just my dad’s face and an address I saw on an envelope in a dream.”
“Oh, it was a dream?”
“Yeah, earlier, before we…well, you know,” I said, the realization that he was completely naked, and that I, too, was naked, wet and soapy did not escape my awareness. And the once again massive erection between his legs was just as impossible to ignore.
His eyes trailed down and he arched an eyebrow appreciatively.
“You okay?” he said, as he walked towards me.
“Yes,” I said, the look in his eye taking my breath away.
“Good,” he said, stepping in the shower with me.
I nodded, my words stolen by his effect on me once more.
“After we get out of the shower, we can look up the address online with Riot,” he said, his voice thick with emotion as his hands slid over my slick skin and he pulled me in for a kiss.
I nodded again, letting my head fall back as his lips found my neck and his throbbing cock found my center, the needs of our bodies once again becoming the most important thing in our lives.
***
Later - dressed, fed and filled with hope - I sat down with Riot as he searched for the address I had seen online. It was a long-shot, but it was all I had.
“Okay,” Riot said, “605 NE 52nd Street?”
“Right.”
“And no city?”
“Nope.”
“Okay, well see what we come up with,” he said.
I waited patiently, peering over his shoulder as he searched the web for the address. Three addresses came up. One was in Texas. One was in Seattle. And the third one was in Portland.
“Ringing any bells, Sam?” Ryder asked. He was sitting on his bed, watching us.
“Nope.”
“Maybe if you saw the houses? You can do a Google Street View and it shows a picture of the house at that address.”
“Yes, that’s perfect. I was on the porch in my dream, I’ll recognize it,” I said. Riot showed me the pictures of all three different houses, none of which looked anything like the house in my dream. I sighed with frustration as we finished looking at the third house.
“Nothing,” I said.
“Don’t get discouraged, Sam. You got something, and that’s better than nothing. It’s probably just the start of your memories coming back. I bet you’ll get more soon. Just be patient, babe,” he said, smiling at me. I walked over to him, stepping between his thighs, and he wrapped me in his arms.
“Yeah,” I agreed, half-heartedly.
“Everything will be okay,” he whispered in my ear. I nodded against him.
“Thanks, Riot,” Ryder said. Riot closed his laptop and rose to his feet.
“Sure thing. I’ll keep thinking and looking, too. See you two later,” he said, closing the door behind him.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Ryder
The Gods sat around our meeting table, which was in the basement of the cabin. Only sworn in club members were allowed in the basement. The table we sat around was carved by my father when he first started the club, and all the important decisions were hashed out around this engraved, beloved heirloom.
“I wanted to check in with everyone about Sam,” I said. “Most of you have met her already, and I want to apologize for bringing her in to our world without consult
ing with you first. I know I haven’t been available since she arrived, and I’m sorry about that, too. If there’s any business that needs to be discussed, we can do it now.”
The brothers sitting around the table represented everything I knew. Any semblance of family that I had was right in front of me. I loved each and every one of them, and I would do anything for them. They knew that. And I knew they would do the same for me.
“It’s alright, Ryder,” Zander said, sitting to my left. “It’s not like you planned it.”
“Yeah,” I replied, “that’s true. Thank you, brother.”
I turned to look at Slade and Riot.
“Did you guys take care of the car? And the body?”
“Sure did, boss. Burned to a crisp, and deep in the woods. Won’t be found by anyone anytime soon.”
“Good, okay. So, Sam had a spark of a memory today. It was an old childhood memory, but it’s something. And a partial address, but we didn’t have any luck with that yet. I’m suspecting more memories will be forthcoming pretty quickly. I just want to make sure you guys are still okay with her staying her for a while. I’m still available if you need me for business, but I want to stay close to her.”
Zander smirked as he nodded.
“I bet you do, boss,” he said teasingly.
“Shut the fuck up,” I said to him, smiling over at him.
“It’s all good, boss,” Slade said, as the others nodded in agreement. “And I’ll make sure Cherry stays busy.”
Everyone laughed, and I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, you have fun with that,” I said.
“You know it, boss, that’s how I roll,” he said, the room erupting in even more laughter.
“Alright, guys. Zander’s gonna take over everyday business, so if you need something, run it by him.”
RAW: THE ULTIMATE MC COLLECTION Page 8