She places her hand over my mouth. “Don’t say it. Please.” Her hand drops away almost immediately, and I miss the warmth of her skin. “And I shouldn’t have let things get so personal tonight. You’re my student, Mr. Kennedy, and neither of us can ever lose sight of that fact.”
I stand up abruptly, immensely pissed off at the world. And it’s not like she needs to verbalize that shit. “I hear you loud and clear, Doctor Garcia.” I’m an ass for taking my anger out on her, but her sudden coldness doesn’t sit right with me.
It’s not like we are doing anything wrong. All we are doing is talking.
And holding hands. I curse at the unhelpful devil silently taunting me.
“I’m sorry,” she blurts, burying her head in her hands, and my anger disappears as quickly as it arrived.
I crouch down in front of her. “I’m the one who should say sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I understand, Eva, and I don’t want to make life more difficult for you, but I … I’ve come to care about you, and I don’t like to see you in pain. I thought we were friends, and friends talk to one another.”
“I wish we could be friends, Kaden, but that’s not permitted either.”
I wish for so much more, but I’d settle for friendship. I’ll take any scraps she wants to throw my way.
I peer deep into her eyes, and I wish I could remove that dark cloud hovering over her. It’s not the first time I’ve sensed how unhappy she is. Sometimes, this veil of sadness creeps over her, and she looks like the loneliest person on the planet. “If you can’t talk to me, at least talk to one of your friends.” I stand. She nods wearily, and I sense my outpouring has unlocked some hidden pain inside her. “Can I call someone for you?” I ignore the churning in my gut. “Your husband?”
She vehemently shakes her head. “No. I’ll be fine.” She offers me a fake smile. “I’ve more work to do before I head home. You should go. I’m sure that pretty girlfriend of yours is waiting for you.”
I can’t keep the surprise off my face. I’ve never mentioned Tiffani to her for obvious reasons and also because it isn’t anything more than a casual friends who fuck kinda arrangement. At least not to me. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s just a friend.”
Her shoulders relax, and her lips tip up ever so slightly. I could be mistaken, but I think she’s pleased about that fact.
Is it possible she feels something for me too?
As I exit her office, I warn myself not to get anymore invested.
Nothing can happen between me and Eva, no matter the connection between us, no matter how much I long for that.
But, usually, in a battle between the head and the heart, the heart wins out.
Chapter Five
Present Day
Evelina
I’m blaming the champagne and nostalgic thoughts for my unsafe outburst. With the way Kaden’s holding me, and the emotional tornado brewing in his eyes, I can tell he misses me as much as I miss him.
That shouldn’t make me happy.
But it does.
“Eva.” He whispers my name like it’s a precious commodity. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” He reels me in closer, and I should protest, should push him away, but I go willingly instead.
When it comes to Kaden Kennedy, I’m putty in his hands.
His strong arms are warm and comforting as they wrap around me. My eyes skim over him, drinking in every rock-solid, hard, toned line of his body. When I was with Kaden the last time, he still retained some boyish youthfulness, but looking at his broad shoulders, ripped upper torso, muscular arms, and the maturity on his face, there’s no denying he’s all man now.
And I think I want him even more than I always have.
He presses his mouth to my ear. “Not a day goes by where I don’t think about you.”
A delectable shiver cascades over my body as his warm breath and even warmer words sweep through me.
“Nor I you,” I admit. Champagne has become my truth serum.
He leans back a little, still keeping a firm hold of my waist, and he starts a slow perusal from head to toe. No part of my body is immune from his gaze, and the affect is instant and potent. My core throbs with painful need, the like I haven’t felt in years. From the moment I first met him, Kaden enraptured me, captivated me, and he became the forbidden fruit I had to avoid at all costs.
When he looks at me, I’m startled to see moisture brimming in his eyes. “You’re so beautiful, Eva, even more so now.”
“Kade.” My voice is choked with emotion.
I want to beg him to steal me away. To run away with me and never come back.
But I’m not going to throw my sacrifice away after all this time.
“Are you safe?” he whispers, peering into my eyes, and those whispered words are exactly what I need to reclaim my sanity.
Shucking out of his embrace, I take a few steps back. “Of course, I’m safe.” Why would he ask me that? I went to great lengths to keep that side of my life hidden from him. I guess it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise to assume he went digging into my life. I recall rumors around campus about his brother Keven and how he was apparently using his considerable IT skills for less than legitimate purposes. If Kade had his brother check into my background, I shudder to think what he knows.
“Eva, I know.” His statement, and the look in his eyes, confirms it. His expression is a mix of concern and rage.
I shake my head, suddenly aware of my surroundings and how foolish it is to be talking to him in a corridor where anyone could spot me. For fuck’s sake, Jeremy is only in the ballroom a few feet away. “Don’t say it, Kaden. Not here. Not ever.”
“Do you love him? That asshole you’re married to?” Loaded anger is barely contained on his face.
Gulping nervously, I glance around again before moving in close to him. I stretch up on tiptoes, and he bends his head down lower so I can whisper in his ear. “Whatever you know, forget it. Pretend like you don’t know. I didn’t let you go for you to throw it all away. He’s dangerous, Kaden, and if he knew what’d happened between us, he’d kill you.”
“I’d like to see him try.” He crosses his arms, and his powerful biceps flex and roll under the tight confines of his button-down shirt.
“Don’t even think about it. You don’t know exactly how ruthless he is. You need to put me out of your mind. There is no—”
“Baby!”
Kaden stiffens, closing his eyes momentarily and cursing under his breath.
“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” The familiar pretty redhead steps up beside him, looping her arm through his.
“I came out to take a piss and I bumped into Doctor Garcia. She used to teach one of my classes. We’ve just been catching up.”
Technically it’s not a lie, but he hasn’t been wholly truthful either.
“Oh,” she says, smiling curiously at me. “Are you here for Keven’s twenty-first too?”
I force a return smile, but it’s hard. She may not have been his girlfriend back in the day, but she clearly is now, and I hate the sharp pang of jealousy lancing me on all sides. I’ve seen them together around campus on occasion, but I always walk the other way to avoid any difficult conversations. I’ve tried to be happy for him. I didn’t deliberately cut ties and want to see him wallow in the same cesspit of pain and grief as me, but it’s hard to be magnanimous. To be grateful he’s been able to move on.
Not when I’m still so irrevocably in love with him.
I never even got the opportunity to tell him that.
Because I knew if I returned his sentiment that he’d never leave me.
And I couldn’t risk his life like that.
I finally understand what it means to truly love someone, so much that you sacrifice your own happiness to set them free. Kaden would have w
alked over hot coals for me, and while it was tempting to hold onto him, to cling to some lingering fairytale notion in my head that said I can dance off into the sunset with my Prince Charming, I didn’t want to bring him into this life I lead.
Because even if we ran away, we would constantly be on the move, always hiding, always wondering if today is the day my husband caught up to us.
The only way you leave this life behind is in a coffin.
And I love Kaden too much to risk his life.
So, I did what any woman in love should never have to do—I sliced my heart apart as I lied to him and pushed him away.
Straight into this woman’s arms it would seem.
And I have no right to resent her. To want to rip her arm from his. To tell her he’s mine and she has no claim over him.
This is what I wanted, I remind myself. And it’s the only way it can be.
“No. I’m at a charity fundraiser with my husband and some of his work colleagues.” I slant a cautionary look at Kaden. “And I actually need to check on one of my friends, so if you’ll excuse me.” I plant a fake smile on my face and step sideways. “It was great to see you again, Mr. Kennedy. Take care. Enjoy your brother’s party.”
His girlfriend slides her arm around his back, oblivious to the fact he hasn’t taken his eyes off me for even a second. Swallowing over the messy ball of emotion in my throat, I turn around and walk as quickly as I can toward the bathroom.
As I round the corner, Vincent’s dark beady eyes lock on mine, and an icy tremor whips up and down my spine. All the tiny goose bumps lift on my arms. Jeremy’s trusted bodyguard has a habit of appearing out of nowhere, and the way he skulks around, always watching and listening, has scared me more times than I care to remember.
I feel physically ill as I ignore him, keeping my poker face on and pushing through the door into the restroom, acting as if I’ve done nothing wrong. At the same time, I’m frantically scouring my mind, replaying the conversation between Kaden and I to see how incriminating it was, in case Vincent overheard. He probably didn’t, not from this distance, but I don’t trust that man or his motives.
How could I have been so reckless?
Damn the cursed champagne for lowering my defenses. If I’ve done anything to place Kaden on Jeremy’s radar, I’ll never forgive myself.
After cleaning Jenna up and bringing her to a clearly enraged Michael, I return to the ballroom and beseech Jeremy to leave. I don’t want to stay here a second longer, for fear Kaden will try to continue our conversation. Jeremy surprises me by agreeing, and twenty minutes later we are in the back of the limo heading for home.
I’m staring out the window, lost in thoughts of the past, when an arm wraps around my elbow, tugging me along the seat. Bile churns in my gut and travels up my throat, but I force it back down, smiling at my husband as he draws me into his side. “You look stunning tonight, darling.” Planting his hand on my thigh, he rubs his thumb in deliberate circles over the thin silk of my dress.
“Thank you.” My voice doesn’t betray any of my apprehension. I’ve had almost ten years to perfect the right tone and the right look, and I have a whole slew of them to choose from.
“I’ve been like steel in my pants all night thinking about stripping that dress off you.” Taking my hand, he plants it over his crotch, and I feel the hard truth. Lifting the hem of my dress, he slides his hand up my leg, quickly bunching the material around my waist. I glance nervously at the front of the car, and Vincent’s dark, lust-filled eyes meet mine through the mirror. He lowers his gaze, watching my husband dig his fingers into the flesh of my thigh before cupping me through my flimsy lace panties.
“Can we put the screen up?” I ask, before leaning into his ear, hating these words before I’ve even spoken them. “Then I’ll let you do whatever you want to me.” I slick my palm along his hard length. “I’ll ride your cock right here if you like, but not with an audience. Please.”
He grips my face between his two hands, and his eyes are drenched with desire. He slams his mouth onto mine, demanding my lips open, and I take his tongue into my mouth, emitting practiced moans every few seconds which I know he likes. He pulls away, unzipping his pants as he instructs the driver to activate the privacy screen. Vincent glares at me through the mirror, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s got his hands down his pants right now. He’s a disgusting, sick individual, and I pray Jeremy sees him for what he is one day and gets rid of him.
“Suck me off,” my husband demands, grabbing my head and thrusting it at his naked cock. Closing my eyes, I zone off as I do as he commands, fighting to keep my tears at bay. Jeremy has never forced me into anything, but I’ve learned not to say no to him. If I did, I don’t think it would end up in my favor, and I’m realistic enough to acknowledge that.
Jeremy figured out quite early on that I was not all that into sex—little realizing that it’s only sex with him I’m not into—and he has satisfied his peculiar needs elsewhere, for the most part. He still expects sex from me on a weekly basis, and I let him into my bedroom when he requests it, but I’ve managed to survive all these years knowing I was getting off relatively lightly.
Since our chat the other night, I’ve been gravely concerned, and in this moment, I know I’m right to be worried. Things are changing, and that’s not going to work to my advantage.
I suck him off and ride him to release, hating every single second of it, but I perform how he expects, and once inside the house, I kiss him goodnight, and head to my bedroom, relieved that I’ve gotten it over and done with.
I’m lying on my side in my bed, recalling every perfect line of Kaden’s face and body when the knock comes at my door. Everything locks up inside me, and my stomach lurches to my toes.
No! Not again.
Please just make him go away.
On shaky limbs, I get up and let my husband into my bedroom. He’s wearing black silk pajama pants that do nothing to hide the massive boner he’s sporting. That man is insatiable. Putting a black case down on top of my bedside table, he sits on the side of the bed. “Come here.” He pats his lap, and like the good little lapdog I am, I slide over, straddling him as my heart starts cracking in my chest. Grinding his hips against me, he tugs the straps of my nightgown down over my arms and buries his face between my naked breasts, moaning in a way that sours my stomach.
“I’ve been a patient man, Evelina. Some would say too patient.” He grips my chin, almost painfully. “But I love you and I wanted you to be happy, so I have sat patiently by while you pursued your studies and your career. Now it’s time you did something for me.”
An ominous sense of dread tumbles over me. I have a terrible feeling I know where he’s going with this.
“I’ve made no secret of my desire for a family, and I’m not getting any younger. I want a baby, Evelina. Several babies. And I’m not waiting any longer to start trying. From now on, you will open your legs for me when I tell you.” I’m not sure what emotions he sees on my face, but he obviously feels the need to reassure me. “Don’t worry. I know how to make it real good for you.” An arrogant smirk crosses his face. “You’ll be begging me to come to your bed every night.”
I highly doubt that.
Reaching over, he opens the black box and all the blood drains from my face. “We’re going to have fun, Evie. And I’m going to introduce you to things that’ll have you screaming my name over and over again.” His eyes skim over the myriad of toys and instruments of sexual torture, and he removes a few items before standing.
In one swift movement, he has my nightie fully off, and I’m completely bare before him. Pushing me back on the bed, he grips my wrists together, hoisting them over my head. “Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he says, noting the look of total fear on my face. “We’ll start off nice and slow, but you will obey me. You will do exactly as I say.”
I’m trembling all over
and fighting tears.
He ties my hands to the bedpost, forcing my body down onto the mattress. “Open your legs really wide, and pull your knees up.” I do as he requests, and, without any prior warning, he plunges something cold and hard into my back passage.
I can’t help my natural reaction, and I cry out.
I didn’t think the nightmare could get any scarier.
But it just did.
Chapter Six
Present Day
Kaden
“You can’t break up with me!” Tiffani pleads the next afternoon. “I already told my mom I was going to your place for Thanksgiving break.”
Interesting reaction.
Duke has always maintained Tiff is only with me for my money, but I’ve consistently refused to believe it. I like to think I can sniff a gold-digger a mile away. I’m not stupid—I know she likes the money, and the prestige of dating a Kennedy, but I’ve always felt Tiffani was with me because she liked me for me. Not for what I could give her.
Now I’m definitely second-guessing myself.
“That’s not for two months, and why would you tell her that without even consulting me?”
“Because we’re a couple and certain things are assumed when a couple have been going out as long as we have.”
“Tiff. If you take all the breakups into the equation, we’ve actually not been dating that long.” True fact. We’ve been off more than we’ve been on, and if I worked it out, I’m guessing our dating history would be three months max. Which is not the equivalent of a serious relationship. And, if I’m being honest, what we had was pretty superficial. It’s not like either of us has taken the time to truly get to know one another, and that’s another indicator of why this isn’t meant to be. Tiff would know that too if she took the time to properly think about it.
In fact, the more I reflect on it, the more I realize my family and Duke are probably right. I don’t think I know the real Tiffani at all.
“I know you need your space sometimes, baby,” she purrs, sidling up to me. “But you don’t need to break up with me to have some alone time. I can still be your girlfriend while you go do your thing.”
Seducing Kaden (The Kennedy Boys Book 6) Page 5