“Should be. We haven’t started finger food yet, so he doesn’t have anything to throw.”
Boone peered into the bowl that sat on the table just out of Jamie’s reach, assessing the contents while wondering how to start the conversation he knew was needed. “Do I want to know what that is?”
“Rice cereal. This is his first solid food, so we’re still figuring it out.” As she spoke, she slipped the minuscule spoon between Jamie’s lips.
“It looks like there’s more coming out of him than staying in.”
“That’s okay. He’s getting the hang of it, aren’t you, Jamiekins?” She buried a yawn in her upraised arm. “Sorry. Rough night.”
The guilt devil shoved a pitchfork in Boone’s conscience. “Did you get any sleep?”
“Some. I’ve had worse.”
Jab, jab.
She spooned up more slop and took aim, but stopped before the spoon made it to Jamie’s mouth. She sat a little straighter, took a deep breath, then turned to Boone with the spoon extended.
“Here you go, Daddy. Your turn.”
It was so obvious she was forcing herself to do this that his gut twisted.
Mierda.
He took the spoon and set it gently on the table, then leaned forward in his chair, arms braced along his thighs, hands clasped. “Kate, I need to explain something.”
She tipped her head but stayed silent.
“Last night, when I was so...weird...about holding Jamie, it wasn’t anything to do with him, okay? It’s because...” Damn. This was harder than he’d expected. “When I was twelve, I was in a foster home with a bunch of other kids. There was a baby. Tristan. He was...maybe a year old? I can’t remember exactly, though I know he was older than Jamie.”
Actually, what he remembered the most was the weight of Tristan in his arms, more solid and bulky than Jamie. Though since Boone had still been just a preadolescent himself at the time, it was hard to compare.
“Anyway, one night Tristan was sick. I don’t know what was wrong exactly. I just remember I was the only other kid home, and the mom was out of medicine and Tristan was asleep, so she asked me to keep an eye on him while she ran to the store. Ten minutes, tops.”
Which had been true. What had turned out to be false was the assurance that Tristan would sleep through her entire absence.
“As soon as she was out of the driveway and around the corner, he woke up. And I could tell something was wrong. He was shaking. Hard. His arms and legs were jerking and he kept tossing his head back and forth while he made this weird sound.”
Kate lowered her free hand, which she had cupped over her mouth as soon as he launched into the description. “A febrile seizure?” she whispered.
He wasn’t at all surprised that she knew what had happened even without seeing it. “Yeah. That’s what it was. The thing is, I had no idea what the hell was happening. For a minute there I thought...well... You can imagine all the things I figured might be happening.”
“Boone, you were twelve. Nobody would expect you to—”
“I know. The thing was, I also didn’t know what to do about it. And so instead of leaving him in his crib and calling for help, I picked him up and tried to hold him.”
Kate’s quick inhalation told him that she’d figured out what had happened faster even than it had played out in real life.
“It was so fast. One minute I was putting him up on my shoulder, and then he twisted and threw himself backward.” Boone glanced up at the ceiling to steady himself. Even now, twenty years later, he could still feel his hands trying to grip Tristan as he arched and flew back. “He, um, hit the floor. Hard.”
Kate probably had no idea that she was clutching Jamie tight to her chest. “Oh, God. Boone. You... He... What...”
“Broken leg. Concussion. Hairline fracture of the collarbone.”
Kate’s death grip on Jamie eased slightly. “Oh, that poor sweet bunny. But at least... I mean, those are all things that can be fixed.”
“Yeah.” Not that that had been much consolation at the time. Boone would never forget the cold rush of panic that had raced through him when Tristan’s moans had become high-pitched howls of pain.
“I guess that explains why you were a little freaked at the thought of holding Jamie.”
Kate’s soft words pulled Boone back from the past trap. He focused on Jamie’s wary eyes, the hideous cupboards, the hum of the refrigerator. Here. Now. This was what mattered. History was just that. He couldn’t change it but he could learn from it.
And he could damned well make sure it didn’t ruin the moment.
“So. I guess we kept Jamie waiting long enough.” He made himself smile as he reached for the spoon. “Shall I?”
It was ridiculous to be so warmed by the pride in Kate’s eyes, but there it was.
“Absolutely.” She pushed the bowl in his direction. “Just put a little on there, and slip it in gently.”
He could do this. He would do this.
Jamie’s eyes followed his movements as Boone scooped up a hummingbird-sized portion of slop and aimed for the target. But his son was no dummy. At the last second, he turned his face so the food ended up smeared across his cheek.
“Crap.” Boone caught Kate’s eye. “Wait. Am I allowed to say that in front of him?”
She tapped her finger against the end of her nose. “Well,” she said after a moment, “the other day, I dropped a hammer on my foot and let loose with some words that I’m pretty sure were never spoken in Nana’s house before. So trust me. He’s heard far worse.”
That was a relief.
“And by the way,” she added softly, “the first time I gave him cereal, I made it too thick and gave him too much and he choked on it. For a few seconds I thought I was going to have to do the baby Heimlich on him.”
Boone was pretty sure she’d told him about that for his benefit far more than from any need to confess.
Did that make him any less appreciative? Oh, hell, no.
“Go on,” she urged softly. “Try again.”
Boone loaded his spoon once more and leveled his gaze on Jamie, now rocking back and forth on Kate’s lap. His little arms windmilled at his sides.
“Is he trying to take off?”
“Hope not,” she said. “He doesn’t have a passport yet.”
Babies needed passports?
“That’s something I thought maybe we could take care of while you’re here,” she said. “Not that I’m planning any major adventures for the next while. I’m probably going to stick close to home for the near future.”
The satisfaction in her voice told him she didn’t have any problem with that.
“But my great-aunt Donna is in the States, in Vermont, and I know Mom would like us to visit before I go back to work in November.”
“Oh. Sure, whatever you need.” Boone squinted at Jamie. “Okay, kid. We’re going to do this. My job is to get the spoon to your mouth. Your job is to open up. Got it?”
Jamie stopped baby break-dancing and stared at Boone. It was almost possible to see him making the mental leap. Big guy...not Mom...doesn’t know how to hold me...
His mouth opened. Probably to cry, but one thing Boone knew was how to take advantage of an opportunity. Praying he wouldn’t hit something, he popped the spoon into the opening and deposited the food.
“There you go!” Kate all but applauded. It was ridiculous. Though not as ridiculous as how pleased he felt about it himself.
Jamie, of course, chose that moment to let loose with the wail that had been brewing. Kate picked him up and put him on her shoulder.
“Don’t be so fussy,” she said. “This is your daddy. And you are very, very lucky to have him.”
* * *
AN HOUR LATER, Kate zipped Jamie into his front pack, grabbed a clipboard, and headed outside t
o survey the property with Boone.
He was already out on the porch, walking slowly from one end to the other, carefully putting his weight on each board as he stepped.
“How’s it look?” She handed him the clipboard.
“Other than those spots you already know about, the floor is solid. A half a dozen new boards, a fresh coat of stain or paint, and it should be good. We’ll need to replace some of the railings, too.” He scribbled something on the paper. “You said you got estimates on these repairs already?”
“Right. I thought the best strategy would be to figure out what needs to be done, then balance what you and I can do ourselves against the cost of everything, and go from there.”
“Prioritize. Right.” He nodded, started to write something, then stopped and looked down at Jamie. “Sorry, buddy. I forgot to get your input.”
Jamie shoved his hand in his mouth and gnawed, but he didn’t start crying.
It was a good sign, but Kate opted against saying anything. She didn’t want Boone to feel that she was watching his every move, or judging his interactions with Jamie, especially after the mealtime revelation.
She shivered. Dear Lord, what else was Boone keeping bottled up inside him?
No, it was definitely best to let things unfold naturally. All Boone and Jamie needed was some time and togetherness.
She refused to dwell on the thought that time and togetherness were the most limited factors in this relationship.
Instead, she laughed. “You want proof that you can take a guy out of Canada but you can’t take the Canadian out of the guy? You just apologized to a baby. For something he can’t even understand yet.”
Boone’s grin was slow to appear, but when it did—in full surprised delight—it was well worth the wait. “I guess some things are too ingrained to forget.”
Kate was inclined to agree. Especially when Boone gave his jacket a tug and a pat, and she remembered the way he always did that when he got dressed. A final tug. A final pat. And then, usually, a final kiss before he headed out the door.
How many times had that last kiss turned into something more?
And how many times would she be fool enough to torture herself with memories such as that before she—
Boone looked past her to the road. “Looks like you have company.”
Kate turned. One glance at the little white hatchback turning into her driveway and her heart sank.
“Oh, God,” she said bleakly. “It’s my mother.”
Boone flinched. “She still pissed at me?”
“Yes.” There was no point in sugarcoating the truth, especially when Boone was well aware that he was high on Maggie Hebert’s hit list. “I meant to warn you, but I thought she’d give us at least a full day.”
“And lose the element of surprise?”
At least he didn’t sound too worried.
“There’s one thing in your favor. Allie’s former fiancé moved into the Number One Scum spot when the Mounties showed up. You, at least, tried to do the right thing.” Kate waved at her mother, now walking toward them. “If we can get her talking about that, it’ll remind her that you’re a prince in comparison.”
“I’m not holding my breath,” he said, then waved as cheerfully as if Kate hadn’t just given him the equivalent of a battle plan. “Hello, Maggie!”
Kate winced. “It’s Mrs. Hebert to you,” she reminded him, but it was too late. Maggie was already scowling as she climbed the steps.
“Good morning, Katie. Good morning, sweet little Jamie.” She looked past them. “Boone.”
Kate closed her eyes against the whirlwind generated by being dragged abruptly back into adolescent embarrassment over her mother.
“Mom. Be nice.”
“I’m always nice.”
Right. According to Maggie, the fact that Boone still had testicles was proof of her magnanimity.
“What can we do for you, Mom?”
Maggie sent a cold look in Boone’s direction before turning to focus on Jamie. “Well,” she said in a much milder tone as she grabbed the tiny foot, “I came by to invite you to dinner on Sunday.” She sighed and glanced up at Boone. “All of you.”
Oh, joy.
“You could have called,” Kate said.
“I’m well aware of that, Katherine. But I was out running errands already, and I saw you outside, and this way I got to have a minute with the sweetest little guy in the whole wide world. Right, Jamiekins?”
Kate was never quite sure how her mother managed to adore everything about Jamie while claiming to be plotting revenge against the man who had fathered him. But then, there were many things about Maggie Hebert that had never made sense.
“I don’t know,” she began, only to be interrupted.
“Allie and Cash are coming, too, and there’s no one booked for the bed and breakfast that night. I thought we could have a real family meal.”
Dear Lord. If the sarcasm were any thicker, they could spread it on toast in place of peanut butter.
Something warm landed on Kate’s shoulder. Boone’s hand. He squeezed, gentle but heartening, and she got the message. They were going to have to do this eventually, and if Allie and Cash were present, there might be a buffer zone.
“Okay. We’ll be there.”
Maggie grabbed Jamie’s hands and pulled them together in an imitation of applause. “Yay! Can you say yay, sweetie? You’ll be talking soon, you smart boy.”
“Mom. He’s not going to say anything like that for a while.”
“She is such an unbeliever, isn’t she?” Maggie made a sourpuss face, drawing a giggle from Jamie. “That’s right. You know it’s the truth, don’t you, sweetheart?”
“Very kind of you to invite us,” Boone said, and Kate marveled at the evenness of his voice. “What time should we get there?”
“Oh, the usual. Kate knows.”
Yes, Kate knew. She knew many things. Like how her mother had the ability to convey about twelve different messages with two tiny words.
They were going to have to talk. Soon.
“So, not to be rude, Mom, but we have a lot to get through today, and since we’re going to see you soon anyway...”
Maggie straightened and gave the house a brisk once-over. “You told him about the roof, right?”
Kate opened her mouth to answer but Boone beat her to it. “I’m going up there after we look around from the ground, but my suspicion is that it will need to be completely reshingled.”
“It will. The porch needs to be fixed first, though, before Katie goes through it.”
“Hello?” Kate waved her hand in front of Maggie’s face. “Standing right here in front of you?”
“It’s on the list.” Boone gave her shoulder another squeeze. Purely to help her stay calm, Kate knew, but at the same time, oh, it felt so good. All that heat and strength. All that promise.
All that heartache, Kate.
“Make sure you check out the basement. Katie says it’s good, but I think there’s some water seeping in at the back wall. The upstairs bathroom needs to be completely gutted. The kitchen could use an overhaul, too, but—”
“Mom.” Kate had to put an end to this. “We’ve got this, okay?”
Maggie looked between them, searching, though for what, Kate wasn’t sure. The only certainty was that when she spied Boone’s hand, she snapped to rigid uprightness so fast that it was like someone had replaced her spine with a titanium rod.
Boone left his palm exactly where it was. Which was a good thing. It kept Kate from turning and walking away in disgust.
“That’s right,” Maggie said. “You’ve got this.” And she tickled Jamie’s stomach.
God, Kate thought, please help me remember this when someone breaks Jamie’s heart someday.
“Well, it’s good to know that the pl
ace will get the makeover it needs.” Maggie shielded her eyes as she looked over the house again, this time with her face softening. “It’s a good, sturdy home. It’s a shame to think that it will finally get the attention it deserves only to be let go, but—” she shot daggers at Boone “—I guess these things happen.”
“Mom. We’ve talked about this. I love this place, too, but it’s too big and too expensive. The heating bills alone would put me in the poorhouse. Add in the village taxes and the furnace on its last legs and—”
“I know. You’re right, of course. I just hate to see how easily people let go of things these days. Like they don’t matter. Home, family. Whish. Thrown to the wind.”
Okay, that did it. “I think Jamie needs a diaper change. We’d better take care of that. Don’t want him to get a rash, right, Mom?” She leaned forward and dropped a fast, totally unauthentic kiss on Maggie’s cheek. “See you Sunday. Come on, Boone.”
She turned quickly, and then, just to piss off her mother, reached back and grabbed Boone’s hand. Probably a mistake, given the rush of memories that flooded her at the small bit of contact—not to mention the sea of hormones that threatened to swamp her—but hey. Maggie needed to know she and Boone were a team. An unconventional one, to be sure, but a team nonetheless.
Of course, that was assuming her mother hadn’t terrified Boone to the point of bumping up his return flight by, oh, five weeks and change.
* * *
BOONE KNEW THAT Kate had taken his hand only to annoy her mother, and maybe to ensure that he followed her into the house. Not that he had needed any assistance on that score. Kate’s mom took the whole mother bear image to new heights.
But no matter the reason, he was grateful. He and Kate had been all about the physical in their months together. Being with her without that set him off-center, left him uncertain how to act and what to say.
Not that they had been in it only for the sex. He had liked hanging out with her. He still did. They had been able to laugh and understand each other in a way that had surprised him, given how little they had in common. There had been a lot more between them than just fun in the sack, and if circumstances had been different and he didn’t have the history he did, he could have easily seen them building something long-term.
First Came Baby Page 4