by J. M. Miller
It was good to know the girls were getting along well enough to spend time together. Iz didn’t really hang out with other girls. And as much as LJ said she didn’t fit in with her friends out in Nevada, I knew she had to miss being around girls on some level. This would be another way to keep her mind off of the curse and help her stay positive, as long as Iz didn’t wish for something else.
I ditched my suit by LJ’s room before we walked them to the front door. We all shouted goodnight as we passed Gavin’s cracked door. He shouted back over gunfire and music, but didn’t bother coming out.
Outside, an early evening wind stirred the leaves around the front lawn, blowing some onto the slate steps. It was cold enough to make LJ shiver. I laid my arm across her shoulders and she wrapped herself around my middle, hugging tight.
“So I was thinking,” Spaz started, turning around after stepping outside.
“Oh, no,” I cut him off sarcastically.
Iz and LJ started laughing, but Spaz just stared at me to make sure I wasn’t going to say anything else. When I didn’t, he said, “Funny. Anyway, I’m itching to ride like Gav. We need to do it soon, bro.”
“Yeah,” Iz agreed, clutching Spaz’s arm for warmth. He shifted the garment bag under one arm, picked the other up, and wrapped it over her shoulders automatically.
“I know it’s not something we usually do, but I was thinking maybe you should host a race on your course. Nothing big. Just a few people.” I shook my head before he even finished his pitch. “We could have some friendly wagers. Maybe even race the trails if you’re worried about having it on the property. It’d be an awesome way to end the season, man.”
LJ was quiet under my arm. She pressed her head against my bare chest, just listening. “I’ll think about it. I would have to make sure it didn’t interfere with the event house’s schedule, though.”
“Of course,” Spaz agreed, bouncing a little in place either from the cold or from excitement. Iz’s body moved a little with him and she smiled. “It would be awesome to tear it up with a couple more riders.”
“A couple,” I reiterated. I didn’t want something like this blowing up before it even got started. “I’ll try and get some info on dates, but don’t say shit until then.”
“Got it,” he agreed. “You better get inside before you stab somebody with those,” he joked, pointing at my nipples.
I laughed as LJ ran a finger over one, playfully. He was right: it was cold. LJ’s body heat had kept me from thinking about it, though. “Goodnight, guys.”
“Goodnight,” Iz called back before they jogged around the corner.
After closing the door, LJ ducked out from under my arm and tipped her head toward the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”
“Not for anything in there.”
Her eyes widened. “You are so cheesy,” she said, trying to play it off. But her pink cheeks betrayed her, turning me on more.
Skimming a finger over the pink area of her cheek, I grinned and said, “I know you love it.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Do you need anything?” I asked to be sure.
“Nope,” she said simply. Her fingers made their way back to my chest. Their tips felt electric, sparking along my skin as they trickled farther down.
I couldn’t take the torture anymore. I leaned in and kissed her slowly. But it didn’t last long. I refused to waste time in the foyer when there was a perfectly good bed upstairs. So I gripped her waist and slung her body over my shoulder. She squealed at the surprise and I smacked her ass before jogging upstairs.
While carrying me on his shoulder, he grabbed the garment bag from the hall upstairs, slung it into my closet, and then closed and locked my bedroom door. As soon as we were safe in the privacy of my room, his fingers dug into my thighs, tickling me.
“Ben!” I couldn’t help but to scream. The more I kicked and wiggled the more his shoulder dug into my stomach. His fingers continued their assault on the tender skin high up on my inner thighs. “Stop,” I pleaded. “Please, I’m going to pee.” I laughed so hard tears stung my eyes.
He stopped suddenly and dropped me to the bed. Before I could blink, he was hovering over me. His seductive smile created the dimples that taunted me endlessly.
He knows exactly how to work me. I stared at him breathlessly, hoping tonight we’d explore each other the way we had on his birthday. I wanted to be that close to him again, to feel his heart pound a chaotic rhythm with my own. Reliving that night, I smiled wider and he cocked his head as if he knew all the details running through my mind.
He dipped his face down, letting his lips coast over mine. “LJ, you smell so sweet,” he whispered onto my lips and my whole body shuddered with anticipation. He felt me tremble beneath him, but he didn’t chuckle or sigh like he usually did before we’d stop ourselves. Tonight, he was as serious as I was. One of his hands grabbed mine and drew it up above my head. He ran that hand back down the soft inside of my arm then pressed it to the bed to support his body. His knees nudged mine and I spread my legs apart so he could settle in between. His other hand took over, slipping under my T-shirt and smoothing along my skin.
Oh, his touch. It was enough to scramble all of my senses and unhinge me completely. I pushed my face to his, unable to wait any longer, needing his lips on mine. He surrendered them easily. Our tongues met, gently at first until excitement started to build. I fought hard to keep my cool, but my body was growing hotter by the second. Tipping my chin up, I broke away to breathe. His mouth took advantage of my exposed neck, biting and kissing, moving his face farther down. I arched my body toward him, wanting more. He leaned back onto his knees and brought me with him, gripping the bottom of my shirt and slowly pulling it up. We broke apart to get the shirt off then he laid me down again. His mouth plunged back to my neck. The new scruff along his jaw rubbed my collarbone as his fingers hooked the strap of my lace bra and pulled it over my shoulder.
I worked my fingers through his hair and wrapped my legs around his waist, treasuring every bit of his attention. Everything he’d said earlier was replaying in my mind. I was worried that he was spending too much time with me, but he ended my concern. He reassured me that he’d rather be with me no matter what. That was more than I could ever ask for. He wiped my tears and wanted to take all my worries away. I smiled, thinking of Izzy’s words when Ben had removed his shirt to stop my nosebleed. Just the thought of him doing that had me swooning all over again.
He stopped a beat and stared into my eyes, sliding one hand up my thigh to my butt. His brown eyes blazed, widened and alert. He licked his lower lip before clenching his jaw. The sight of him alone made me sigh with pleasure. I twisted my fingers farther into his hair and tugged, watching his eyes narrow before his face came down on mine.
He sucked my lip and bit it tenderly. When I slid my hands down to the top of his jeans, a growl rumbled through his throat. I furiously worked my fingers to pull down his zipper then started to unfasten mine when his mouth found my neck again. “Ben,” I breathed harshly, ready for more.
Knock. Knock.
“LJ?” Dad’s voice came from outside my door.
“Shit,” Ben mumbled. His body left mine so fast air whirled over my skin in his wake. He stumbled off the bed and buttoned his pants while I sat up and scrambled to put my shirt on. When I stood, he rushed to me with a wicked grin. He gave me a quick kiss then moved his lips to my ears and whispered, “I’ll wait, sexy,” before disappearing into the closet.
I darted to the bathroom, flushed the toilet, and turned on the sink. After checking my appearance, I took a couple of deep breaths and ran my hands under the water for a few seconds before answering the door. “Hey,” I said to Dad, turning around to have a seat on the bed. My heart was still racing, though now the anxiety of being caught had replaced the thrill of feeling Ben’s hot skin against mine.
Fresh off his shift, Dad’s dark blue scrubs were coated with white animal hair. He juggled his phone between hands as he walked in. “H
ey,” he replied, glancing around more than normal. If he was aiming for nonchalant, he wasn’t nailing it.
“What’s up?” I fiddled with my phone on the nightstand, trying to act uninterested.
He walked to the far end of the room and looked out the window. “I thought I heard something. Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine. I was just about to get ready for bed.”
He stared out into the night. “The decorations look fantastic, especially those wire ghosts.” He turned around when I didn’t respond and moved his head very slowly, observing everything in the room. “When did everyone leave?” he asked, knowing that Spaz and Iz had come over to look in the attic.
“Around eight. There are so many old clothes up there. Ben and Spaz took their stuff, but Iz is coming over before the party Friday to get dressed.”
“Oh, that’s nice,” he said with a small smile. The worry crease on his forehead softened some. I think he liked the idea of me spending time with someone other than Ben. Not that he didn’t like Ben. I was sure he was just nervous like any other dad who paid attention to their daughter’s love life. He picked at his fingernails and scanned the room.
He isn’t giving up that easily. “Yeah, it should be a lot of fun,” I added since he’d stopped talking.
He coughed a little and awkwardly dropped his phone. Squatting to retrieve it, he craned his neck to look under the bed. “Right,” he said, popping back upright. “I heard the Halloween party is pretty awesome. I might check it out, too.” He moved in front of the closet and looked in. I pinched my comforter nervously, hoping Ben had closed the trapdoor fully. Dad’s face spun back toward me, finally relaxed.
“You done?” I asked with a chuckle.
“What?”
“C’mon.” I tilted my head.
“Well, I was trying to be nice about it,” he admitted. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that—”
“You just don’t trust him,” I finished. “Got it. But you don’t need to worry about him.” It was the truth. All parents had issues trusting the “other” kid. In this case, Ben was the one who could be trusted. He didn’t push me into decisions. He was never disrespectful or hurtful. He was real. And I trusted him with my heart.
“I hope not,” Dad said, sitting at the foot of my bed. “Look, I’ve heard some things about him and I want you to be careful,” he said.
“What things?”
“I heard that he was quite…” he paused with a soft cough, “active before we moved here. Naturally, I’m concerned.”
I wrinkled my nose. “You’ve been asking people about him?”
“No, someone mentioned some things to me,” he said, not looking me in the eye.
“Who?”
“LJ, that doesn’t matter. I just want you to be careful, that’s all.”
I started to protest his refusal to give up the informant, but I was interrupted by his phone. He read the message with a smile, typed a response, and then looked back to me.
I eyed him as suspiciously as he had eyed my room. “I guess you’re making a lot of friends,” I said bitterly. Whoever was talking trash about Ben needed to stop filling Dad’s ears with crap. I didn’t need him getting overprotective.
“Someone sent me a joke.” He looked down at the screen, ignoring my snarky comment, and read, “Yo’ momma is so ugly, she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.” He chuckled, then looked at me when I didn’t laugh.
“I don’t get it,” I admitted.
“Freddy Krueger? A Nightmare on Elm Street? I guess you have to be old to get that one, or a fan of classic horror.”
“I guess so. And you’re telling Yo’ Momma jokes with friends?”
“Yeah,” he agreed, but didn’t elaborate. “So I talked to Gavin earlier about your mom calling yesterday.” He switched topics fast enough to rattle my thoughts.
“Speaking of momma jokes,” I deadpanned.
“I wish this one was funny,” he said somberly.
“My momma’s so broke, the junkie probably wants to come back home now,” I joked. He was right, though. It wasn’t funny.
“LJ,” he said with a sigh. “Look, I’m pretty sure she’ll be here sooner than later so I just want you to be prepared.”
“How soon?” I asked, even though it was useless to know. There was no way I could prepare to see her again, except by hiding my money.
“Maybe in a week. Gavin doesn’t seem fazed by the news. Did he say anything to you tonight?”
“No. He hung out with us for a little while then went to call Taylor and play online.”
He nodded. “Okay, well I guess I should let you get to bed. Just thought I’d check in.”
“Right.”
He moved to the door and looked back before closing it. “I want you to know that you can always talk to me.”
“Okay, Dad.”
“I know you tell me not to, but I worry about you. You’ve been spending a lot of time with Ben. At work, at school, cleaning the basement. Maybe it’s a bit much.”
“Ben’s a good guy, Dad. I don’t care what anyone told you. He treats me well. With how often he’s been around, I’m kind of shocked you haven’t noticed,” I said, growing more annoyed.
“I realize that, LJ. You should be cautious even if everything is going smoothly now. I just want you to be careful. Be safe. With everything.”
“Dad,” I warned. I really didn’t want to talk about sex with him.
“I know,” he said with a nod. “I won’t get into it. But I cannot, in good conscious, go without telling you to use protection. Two forms are better than one. I’ll leave it at that.”
“Goodnight,” I said, shaking my head as he shut the door. He was suspicious enough to attempt the talk. His abridged version was justified, and long overdue in so many ways. The conversation also stirred thoughts about his reasoning. He dropped just enough info to leave me wondering about Ben’s past. Possibly intended. But I already knew everything I needed to know about Ben. I didn’t need the numbers or the details. He was hurting after Harper died and I believed that was the reason he hadn’t had any serious relationships. So Dad’s talk really only left me curious as to who had given him the information.
I shook it off and moved to the bedroom door first, checking the silent hallway before moving to the closet. Prying open the trapdoor, I expected Ben to be long gone since Dad’s talk went into overtime. I was happily mistaken. His body was wedged inside the small space with his back propped against the wall and his feet on separate ladder rungs. He had his T-shirt back on. A big splotch of my blood stained the front.
“Hey,” he said, stepping up and resting his arms on the floor.
“Hey,” I replied, kneeling beside him. “Did you hear any of that?”
“Not clearly. Did you talk about your mom again?”
“Some,” I admitted, not wanting to tell him that the other topic was about someone blasting his name to my dad.
“As much as I want to stay with you tonight, I don’t think it’s the smartest idea.”
I nodded. “I know. He must’ve heard something when he knocked.”
“With how loud I was when I jumped out of your bed, I don’t doubt it,” he said and I giggled. “I was shocked he didn’t bust the door down.” He climbed up farther and I slid back so he could sit in front of me.
“It would take a lot for him to do that. He made sure to look everywhere, though, including under the bed.”
He smiled. “Really? Thank God for trapdoors.” His hand smoothed over my leg and it made me sad that I still had my jeans on. He smirked at my reflexive pout. “He gets off work early tomorrow, too?”
“Yes, and Halloween. I’m not sure about Friday.”
“I should let you get some sleep. It’s been a long day,” he whispered, leaning closer and kissing my lips. I could tell he was worried.
“I’m fine,” I whispered against his lips.
“Oh, I know you are,” he quipped, shi
fting his body and laying me back on the hardwood floor. His body pressed against mine as he commanded my lips. Maybe it was his way of showing concern or a way to prove how much he cared. Whatever it was, I loved it. He slowed to a stop with a pained sigh. “I should go before your dad busts back in. I’ll see you in the morning, beautiful.”
I kissed him once more and handed him the garment bag to take home. I didn’t even get a chance to see what he was planning to wear for Halloween, but I knew he’d look good in anything. “Night,” I called down the hole when I saw him enter the basement. He waved and closed his end before I closed mine.
I went back into the bathroom to change for bed and noticed a faded green shirt bunched up on the side of the sink. It was a men’s size large, way too big for me. I stripped down and put it on, trying to remember where it’d come from. Staring at myself in the large oval mirror, I slid my hands down its soft green material that hung to the middle of my thighs. When I skimmed my finger along the bottom edge, the memory of Ben’s fingers tracing the same line suddenly came to mind. Then I thought of his bare chest and definition of his muscles. It was like earlier today in the attic, but this time he was standing outside at the well.
I ran my hands up through my hair and stared into my mirrored eyes. He’d given me the shirt when I cut myself at the well. I wore it on his birthday and I’d been wearing it to bed almost nightly. “How did I forget that?”
Headaches had to be the reason LJ had been quiet most of the day. She plugged her earbuds in any chance she could at school. She’d even left them in during lunch. We told Iz and Spaz that she was listening to an audio book for English Lit. They didn’t seem to mind. I knew the news of her mom coming to visit didn’t help the way she was feeling, no matter how many times she told me she was okay. Her mom’s addictions created the worst parts of her life, much like my own. If my mom decided to visit after years of no contact, I wouldn’t even know how to react. So I understood why she was withdrawing. I made sure she knew I was here for her, but I wouldn’t press her.
After we finished decorations on the grounds and some touch-up weeding, I ate dinner with Pop then went to LJ’s to search the attic. Her mood remained somber as we looked through garment and canvas bags full of linens, granny-style blankets, and sewing crap. It was exactly like the weeks we’d spent in the basement: tiring and hope-crushing. I didn’t care how long it took, though. I refused to give up.