She had every intention of returning Venus to the Apache. She’d leave tonight, when everyone was asleep. She’d leave secretly, because if Sterling knew of her plans, he’d never allow her to go through with them. He’d be horrified at what he’d consider another of her harebrained ideas. He’d insist on taking Venus to the orphanage like he’d planned all along. But by the time he discovered her absence, she’d be long gone, and he’d have no other choice but to stay with the boys and await her return.
And when she returned, he would leave. The time she might have had left with him...the little bit of time in which she’d hoped love would blossom...it was over. And it was by her own hand it would end, because, by taking Venus home, she would destroy the last, slender thread that kept Sterling tied to her. She was going to lose the man who meant more to her than life itself.
The pain that knifed through her was so deep, she knew the wounds it left would never heal.
Chapter Sixteen
Sterling had never known such fury. His rage was so tremendous, even the triplets were cowed into silence while they watched him put rope bridles on the horses. They were thrilled to death that he was taking them along on the search for Chimera, but dared not demonstrate their excitement. Sterling’s black mood forbade it.
“I still don’t understand why you won’t leave the triplets with me, Sterling,” Archibald said. “I can take care of—”
“No, you can’t,” Sterling disagreed hotly, and motioned for the triplets to mount. “If I left them here, they’d run you ragged two seconds after I was gone. You’ll have as much as you can handle caring for all the livestock, Archibald. I don’t know when we’ll be back, but with any luck at all, it shouldn’t be too long. She couldn’t have gotten that far with a camel and a baby.”
Damn her! he fumed. What had got into Chimera, sneaking off with Venus? Didn’t she possess a thread of sense in her entire body? He knew full well she was looking for the Apache. There was no other reason for her secret escape with the baby, and it hadn’t taken even a full second for him to figure it all out. But had she honestly believed he would sit still for it? That he would calmly await her return when she was out seeking those savages? Damn, damn, damn her!
“Sterling, you’d be able to travel so much faster if you were alone,” Archibald persisted. “The triplets are going to—”
“Aggravate the hell out of me,” Sterling finished for him.
“I know. But I’d rather them aggravate me than you. You just stay here and take care of the animals.”
He led Gus out of the barn and mounted. “There’s plenty of food in the house, and you’re shooting well enough now to supplement it with fresh game. Keep your pistol loaded at all times. You’re a man now, Archibald, and now is the time to prove that to yourself.”
Archibald threw back his shoulders. “I’ll be line. Don’t worry about anything. Just find Chimera and bring her home.”
Sterling nodded and urged Gus toward the woods, the triplets following on their own mounts. “Chimera,” he told her mental image, “when I find you...”
His voice trailed off. It wasn’t a case of when he found her. It was if he found her. She was searching for the Chiricahua Apache. He hoped to God he found her before they did. No punishment he could possibly devise for her would be worse than theirs.
“There now, Venus,” Chimera cooed, and held the baby more tightly when Pegasus stumbled over a fallen branch. “We’ll find them soon.” She pressed a stale biscuit into the baby’s fat hand.
While Venus was busy gumming the hard bread, Chimera fought her dismay. She’d been traveling for two whole days now and hadn’t seen a single sign of the Apache. The Dragoon Diamond had been completely deserted of all living things, and the horrible memory of what she’d seen there made her shudder.
But as terrible as the ranch scene had been, she just couldn’t believe the Apache would not show mercy to her. She was bringing their baby back to them, wasn’t she? How could they mistreat her after she returned Venus safely? Her certainty kept her moving Pegasus steadily forward, though she had no idea in which direction he was headed.
At dusk, she halted and prepared for her third night in the cold woods. After building a fire, she boiled a bit of dried meat to soften it for Venus, and fed both the baby and herself before settling into the blankets. “It’s not that I don’t think we’ll find them, Venus,” she whispered to the baby nestled close to her, “but sweet heaven, we’re about to ran out of food. I thought for sure we’d find them at the ranch, you see. I didn’t...Venus, I didn’t know this would happen. And the worst thing is that I don’t know where I am. I don’t know how to get us back to the cabin.”
Tears sprang into her eyes. Lying there in the darkness, with only the fire flames and the light of the moonbeams to illuminate her surroundings, she stared into the pitch-black forest. Did the woods have no end? she wondered, and shivered at all the night sounds coming from them.
If only Sterling were with her. She sniffled. He’d know what to do. He always knew what to do. If only she’d taken the time to convince him to come with her. He’d have ranted and raved, but perhaps she could have talked him into coming. “I should have at least tried, Venus. He wants to find his mother so badly, and that could have been my argument. I could have told him that perhaps you, too, would one day long to know your real family. Surely if I had said those things, he’d have realized—”
A sudden noise silenced her. She gasped when she recognized the sound as approaching footsteps. Fighting terror, she hid Venus beneath the blankets, grabbed a large and heavy piece of kindling, and rose. She’d never hurt a living thing in her life, but if whoever was coming had evil on his mind, she knew she would be as violent as he to protect Venus. She prepared to do battle as she entered the thick darkness of the forest.
The sudden, shadowed form of a huge man almost made her drop her weapon. But she recovered instantly and took a wild swing at him, a sense of deep satisfaction filling her when she made contact with his head. Lifting her club, she prepared for another swing, but just as she was bringing the stick down again, the man grabbed and yanked it from her hand.
“Dios mio, Chimera!” Sterling shouted. “You’re going to kill me with—”
“Sterling!” Her relief at the familiar sound of his voice so overcame her, she felt herself crumpling to the ground. Sterling reached for her, lifted her into his arms, and carried her back to the camp she’d made. “Boys, come on!” he yelled, and set her down, then whistled for Gus.
Children and horses soon appeared. “Chimera, we been lookin’ all over for you!” Snig exclaimed. “Archibald woulda come too, but he stayed with the animals.”
“We didn’t think we’d ever find you,” Snag added. “But then Sterling saw the fire you made,” Snug informed her. “We just followed the light, and here we are!”
“Boys, bed down for the night,” Sterling ordered. “Chimera, you—”
“Sterling, you scared me!” she shouted. “I thought—”
“You thought, Chimera?” he flared. “To have a thought, you must be able to think, and you obviously are incapable of that. I can’t believe you left with Venus! What the hell—”
“We have to return her! Sterling, we never knew where the Indians were before. But when you said they were probably plundering the Diamond—They were so close! It came to me that maybe one of them was Venus’s father! Maybe she has brothers and sisters! I thought I’d find a whole tribe of Apaches at the ranch! But Sterling, oh, Sterling, now that you’re here, everything will be—”
“I’ve been out of my mind with worry! How could you do this? How could you—”
“I just know you’ll be able to find them, Sterling,” she gushed. “I can’t seem to find a single sign—”
“Well, thank God for that!” he exploded. “Did you see the scene at the Dragoon Diamond, Chimera? Did you see all the men who’d been killed by Apache arrows and lances? Did you happen to take a look at all the burned c
orpses in the barn? One of them must have been Sprague’s, and his wife...Dios mio. I found a white woman in one of the bedrooms. It had to have been her, and it was obvious she’d taken her own life rather than submit to the Apache, Chimera. And you’re out looking for them!”
How dare he berate her? How could he call her thoughtless when he refused to see how important this was to Venus? “Why would the Apache hurt us when we’re bringing one of their own back to them?” she demanded. “Why—”
“They—”
“You’ve been searching for your mother for years, Sterling Montoya. Will you deny Venus, the child you brought into this world, the chance to be with her real family?”
He stared at the flames in her eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. “Chimera, please try and understand. It’s not that I don’t want Venus to have her family, but—”
“Then we’ll set out together at dawn.” With that, she returned to the blankets that still covered Venus and purposefully pulled them back so Sterling could see her.
He saw the sleeping baby, and realized with a pang that Chimera, stubborn and crazy though she was, had a valid point. Venus did deserve to be with her own people. But to face the Apache! He was only one man! What the hell would he do if the Indians were hostile instead of grateful?
“Look at her, Sterling,” Chimera begged. “There’s no denying her heritage. She’s an Apache Indian, and her people are somewhere in these mountains. Will you or won’t you return her to her rightful home?”
He walked nearer to Venus and bent to hold her. The memory of her deceased mother suddenly came to him. He hadn’t thought of the woman in months but it was almost as if he could see her, hear her. He recalled how she’d smiled at him before she died. Her smile had spoken of her faith in him, her faith that he would do the right thing by her daughter. He stood and let out a weary sigh.
Chimera saw the lines of anger on his face soften. “Sterling, please,” she begged him. “Please say you’ll help me.”
“All right,” he whispered, “I’ll help you.”
But who, he wondered, would help them?
They’d been searching for two days when Sterling finally found tracks. He followed them until dusk made it impossible to see the trail any longer. Trail, he repeated silently. Ha! Damn, wily Indians.
It was obvious to him now that the Apaches were aware of the fact that he was trying to find them. They’d dodged, scattered, and twisted through this area with the very specific intention of leading him astray. And they were keeping close tabs on his location. He’d seen smoke signals several times before dusk began to fall. He’d also seen items such as a bandana and rawhide headband hanging from high branches. He’d noticed rock piles on the ground as well. They’d been carefully stacked upon each other in a way that nature would not have been able to accomplish. He didn’t comprehend the meanings behind these signs, but he knew they were messages from one Apache to another. And then there were the eerie calls too. Some sounded like howling wolves, others like birds. He’d heard them repeatedly and realized they were not animal sounds at all. They were Apache signals.
He reined Gus to a halt. “The tracks are taking us nowhere, Chimera, which is precisely where the Apache want us to be,” he said, and rubbed the back of his neck.
She looked down at the ground and tried to think of what to do. Her eyes widened when she knew. Her witchcraft! Why hadn’t she thought of it sooner? Closing her eyes, she swept one hand across her surroundings, her fingers wiggling. “Gentle spirits smile upon Venus...Find her people, and...Um—Venus. Venus. What rhymes with Venus...” Her voice trailed away; she blushed furiously. “Sterling,” she whispered. “The only thing I can think of that rhymes with Venus is—is...well, you know.”
Despite his dark mood, he chuckled. “Never mind the spell, Chimera. Let’s camp for the night.”
“We’re doing the right thing, Sterling,” Chimera said when the children were asleep around another fire some distance from their own. “The honorable thing.”
He poked at the fire with a stick. He’d had a thought not to build one since it could be seen so clearly in the dark, clear night. But why the hell try to hide from an enemy who already knew of their presence? “Honor? What good will honor be if the Apaches don’t appreciate what—”
“‘Hold it the greatest wrong to prefer life to honor...’ Juvenal.”
He gave her a sidelong glance. “What a wise quote. Do you think the Apaches have ever heard it?” He tossed his stick aside. “Chimera, they’re dangerous. Unpredictable.”
“‘A man of honor should never forget what he is because he sees what others are.’ Baltasar Grecian.”
“Oh, all right. I’ll just waltz into the Apache rancheria, spread out my arms, and say, ‘Hello, Indians. I know you’ve no qualms about killing and maiming, but I’m honorable. Therefore, do not draw your arrows, and—’”
“‘Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.’ Dostoevsky.”
“Ah, to hell with Dovtratoeskat.”
“Dostoevsky,” she corrected him.
“Whatever.” He crawled to his bedroll, moving over for her when she joined him in it. “Chimera, spare me any more quotes. I daresay not a single one of those philosophers ever set out to find Cochise and his band of warriors. I bet not a one of them ever purposely sought out trouble.”
“Probably not.” She sighed and cuddled closer to him. “They were too smart for that.”
“So what does that mean? That we’re stupid?”
She kissed him soundly. “Maybe, but what we’re doing is still noble.”
“Oh, well, that’s just fine, Chimera. We’re noble nitwits.”
“Magnanimous morons.”
His lips twitched. She was magic, and he succumbed to her sorcery every time. “Softhearted simpletons.”
She giggled. “Daring dunces.”
He pulled her closer to him, thoroughly enjoying the soft, easy chatter, and feeling it soothe the last shreds of his anxiety. “Intrepid idiots.”
“Um...courageous cretins.” She curled her arm around his waist, her fingers wrapping around his side to gently massage his lower back.
He responded to her touch and shifted her to her side so he could face her, kiss her. “Benevolent buffoons.” His lips smoothed from her mouth to her chin and down to her throat, his hand finding and cupping her full breast.
She moaned quietly, desire uncoiling inside her. “Dutiful dullards.”
His hand stilled upon her breast. “Dutiful dullards?” He laughed softly and lost sight of his hand as it disappeared into the midnight wonder of her hair. “Uh...philanthropic fools.”
She felt his passion for her and deftly opened his breeches, freeing his swollen manhood. “And above all...lustful lunatics. Desirous dolts. And...carnal crazies.”
“Carnal crazies?” He tried to laugh, but her hand was firmly folded around him, moving up, down. She’d unleashed his carefully controlled desire, and he felt it ravage through him. Glancing far over at the children, he saw they were fast asleep, the triplets with their mouths wide open, Venus slumbering peacefully with them. They would not wake up, he knew. They’d been exhausted from riding so many hours.
Reassured by that fact, he slowly slid Chimera’s skirt up her thighs, his fingers trailing upon her silken skin, until the garment was above her hips. His hand went around her, sliding across her firm bottom and back up to the swell of her hip. She wore no underthings.
“It drives me crazy,” he whispered, his voice a hoarse rasp. “Sometimes I watch you walk around, sit, stand. Whatever you do...I can’t forget you wear nothing beneath your clothes. I think of your thighs, bare. There’s nothing covering them to keep them from touching when you walk. It’s bare skin against bare skin. I think of the breeze, and how it must feel as it whisps up your skirt. I’ve spent hours thinking of that cool air, your warm thighs, their meeting. And your breasts...Ch
imera, on hot days your blouse clings to you. It molds around your breasts, and I can see their every curve. Sometimes the peaks harden, and when they do...I wonder if you are thinking of me. Of our nights together.”
“I live my days with the memories of our nights,” she informed him on a long breath and decided to take advantage of the way they were lying on their sides, facing each other. She put her leg around his hip, opening for him, offering him access to her.
He found her, accepted her offer. When he was a part of her, deep inside her, he became motionless and took sweet pleasure in the still beginning of their union.
“Sterling...please.” She squirmed closer to him, pulling her hips away from his, then pushing them forward. “Sterling—”
“Yes,” he told her softly when he felt her femininity tighten around him. “Yes, now.”
She withdrew her hips again. He met them as they came back to him. She welcomed each of his thrusts, gasping at the void inside her each time he left her. She was filled, emptied, with him, by him—him, only him, always him. “Sterling,” she moaned, clutching at his arms, nipping at his shoulder.
He felt her shudder within his embrace, felt her pleasure as she throbbed around him, and felt the warm rush of her breath as she released it on a long, contented sigh upon his shoulder. His own breathing was ragged, coming in short gasps. He clutched her bottom, urging, pushing, demanding all she could give him as he found the ecstasy of which she’d only just partaken. He savored it, felt it course through him, filling him with the bliss he’d never found in any other woman’s arms. It seemed to have no end, but went on and on, lasting so long he wondered if it would be over soon, prayed it wouldn’t, and clenched his teeth when it wasn’t.
“Sterling,” Chimera whispered, her body tensing again.
She pulsed around him, and he realized she’d found rapture a second time. The soft mewing sounds coming from her, the desperate shoves of her body against his as she relished each moment of her joy, brought his own final, explosive climax. To keep from crying out with it, he covered her lips with his, but heard himself moan against her mouth, felt the vibration of sound as she absorbed and answered it in kind.
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