by Cara Dee
Ryan set down a box of supplies next to where Darius was lying, and he nodded. “That’s great. Good job, boys. Those of you who’re up to it, help me unload the tender. Then I’ll go pick up the rest of the guys.” He peered down at Darius. “When I get back, you should sleep in the boat. It’ll be more comfortable for your shoulder.”
Darius waved him off tiredly. He just needed a couple minutes and, now that they could afford to use it, a bottle of water. “Looked like there’s a cove on the other side of those cliffs when we headed in. I’ll start setting up camp there. Go get Gray.”
Gray was still on the first island, waiting with most of the others, and it was unsettling as fuck. But it’d been the only way to ensure the kid didn’t move around too much.
Ryan grunted and cocked a brow. “You know what I wanna say, don’t you?”
“I have it under control,” Darius replied irritably. Maybe a bit too irritably. “Fuck.” He scrubbed his hands over his face.
“Darius.” Ryan’s voice warmed with concern, and he squatted down, resting a hand on Darius’s bent knee. “You do this to yourself every time. It’s not just unfair to you, but to them.” This wasn’t news. “After everything you’ve seen, what you’ve been through… If this is how you’re gonna cope, you should get back to therapy. Don’t leave it to innocent people to decide whether or not you hate the world.” He paused. “When we get home, you could also drag your hermit ass down to us and see your nephews. I won’t even make you change their diapers.”
Darius was too pissed at himself to crack a smile, though he did promise he’d visit. It would do him good.
“You haven’t met Abby yet either, have you?” Ryan asked.
Darius shook his head and dragged himself up to sit. Abby was Ryan’s stepdaughter, a recent addition to their family after Ry and Angel had included another man in their relationship.
“Go get the others,” he sighed. “We can talk about me going to San Francisco another time.”
“And we fucking will,” Ryan said pointedly.
At least the cove was perfect. Secluded, small. The jungle offered a quick getaway at the rear, and cliffs hid them from the world on both sides.
It took them a couple hours to create a small clearing at the edge of the jungle, but for this, Darius and Ryan wouldn’t budge. No matter how tired they were. Some of the boys were moody, wanting just to crash on the beach—where they’d be unprotected in the event someone was patrolling the area.
Before the sun rose, they’d leave the tender on the big island and take the lifeboat back. It would draw unnecessary attention if it stayed here.
“I can make a fire,” Casper offered.
Speaking of drawing attention.
Ryan shook his head. “It’ll have to wait till tomorrow.” Then he faced the rest and addressed them all as they did their best to create spots to sleep. “Listen, guys. We don’t know exactly how long we’ll be here, but it shouldn’t be too long. There’s enough food for a couple days, so we won’t ration any of it. That said, eat to keep the hunger at bay—no more than that until we know what our options are.”
The boys responded with sleepy nods and yawned yesses.
“Ugh, something just crawled over my foot,” someone groaned. It sounded like Fil, and he was met with a few chuckles.
Regardless of how much Darius’s eyes had adjusted to the dark, it was difficult to spot Gray.
“Gray, you around?” he asked.
“Over here,” Gray replied, his voice coming from the tree line. “Can I go to the waterfall and clean up? I feel gross.”
Darius hesitated. Several of the others had already been there, though that was before it was pitch black outside. On the other hand, it would be a good idea to redress Gray’s thigh, especially after his stupid swim in the ocean earlier.
“If I go with you,” he decided. It wouldn’t hurt to get himself cleaned up too. His skin itched like nothing else, and perhaps he could wash away some of the tension in his body as well. It’d been one of the longest days he’d ever endured.
It was settled, and he grabbed a medical kit as Ryan extended a bag of something.
“Food and a towel.”
Darius nodded in acknowledgment, and then he trailed over to Gray.
To make the trek easier, they took the longer route along the beach, and when the little stream appeared, all they had to do was follow it.
“Don’t walk too fast, knucklehead,” Darius murmured.
Gray huffed a breath and slowed down a bit. “I just wanna get there—ouch.” He hissed and hopped on his good leg as he held his foot. “Fuck.”
“What happened?” Darius closed the distance, not that he could see shit.
“I don’t know. Stepped on something. It’s fine.”
“Wanna use my shoes?” Darius obviously hadn’t been able to pack proper boots, like the ones Ry had arrived in, but he’d included a pair of sneakers that he’d changed into earlier. Gray was more than welcome to them.
“It’s okay. They’re probably too big anyway.”
Maybe a size or two, but it would feel better than walking around a jungle barefoot. A jungle that, even if small in size by comparison, was alive with countless sounds. This time of year, the humidity wasn’t stifling, but the dampness was still wherever they turned. Leaves glistened in the pale moonlight. Frogs and birds competed with their calls, and the underbrush rustled with the breeze and invisible critters.
“Come on, we’re almost there.” Gray was walking again. “By the way, did you guys contact your sister?”
“Ry’s probably doing that right now. He’s gonna ask her to hold off for forty-eight hours.”
“Why? Can’t you just have her call the authorities to pick us up?”
Darius nodded and sidestepped a tree trunk. “The problem is Ryan and me. There’s a risk we’re not alone in the area, and if rescue arrives and he and I are spotted with this gear by the wrong people, this all will be for nothing. If they suspect it’s all been one big rescue op…” He didn’t wanna finish that sentence.
Gray seemed to understand anyway. “They might come after us.”
Or their loved ones.
It was much better to stage the rescue to play out the way Darius and Ryan wanted. Additionally, it was the only way to allow Ryan to disappear. It would be as if he’d never been here.
The rest of the walk was quiet, and when they heard the rushing water of the waterfall and Gray picked up the pace again, Darius didn’t say anything. If he’d been comfortable leaving the kid alone again, like before when Gray and the others had remained on the smaller island, Darius would’ve. He could imagine wanting space to process, maybe to grieve and let everything out, alas… No fucking way. Darius couldn’t. Definitely not in the middle of the night.
As the trees parted to reveal a small clearing, Darius looked up at the sky. The moonlight cast a glow on the waterfall that made it feel like it was right before dawn.
“What a fucking day…” He sighed and carefully rotated his shoulder.
Gray stepped up on the rounded rocks that surrounded the water and peered in. The waterfall wasn’t high, perhaps twenty feet, but it was wide. The pool of water below was crystal-clear, showing patches of white sand on the bottom and where the boulders took over.
While Gray soundlessly got rid of his sweatpants and slipped into the water, Darius aimed for the biggest rock to leave the bags and start undressing.
“It’s kinda cold,” Gray admitted, shivering visibly.
“That’s good.” Darius eyed the cliffside behind the fall. Smaller risk that the water was contaminated if it didn’t move too close to the topside before it gushed out from the cracks in the cliffs.
Gray stood in the waist-deep water, palms ghosting along the surface, gaze downward. He was miles away again. The cuts and scrapes that covered his sculpted torso were black against his moonlit skin. He’d lost weight and his confidence. He bit his bottom lip, and Darius realized he was stari
ng.
There was something about this kid. Something that drew Darius in unlike anyone else ever had. Almost as if the others he’d saved in the past represented innocence, of which Gray was the very definition. Despite that they were away from the yacht and the situation wasn’t quite as severe anymore, Darius felt just as protective now as then.
Gray had to make it. In the future, he had to thrive and find happiness again. He had to keep that sincerity about him. He had to remain the living proof that all this was worth it.
Darius released a breath and looked away, knowing Ry would punch him in the face if he knew what was running through Darius’s head. Ryan was right. It was unfair to put that responsibility on Gray, even more so because the knucklehead had no goddamn idea.
Irritated with himself, Darius stripped off his clothes with one hand, boxer briefs included, then stepped into the water. Christ. Gray hadn’t been lying. It was cold.
At the same time, it was a relief out of this world. A long sigh escaped him, and Darius sank down underwater to soak off. For a handful of seconds, all he heard was the low rush of oxygen and water hitting the sand on the bottom.
On the way up, he filled his mouth with water and swallowed as he resurfaced, his hands pushing back his hair. Fuck, this felt good. Goose bumps rose on his skin. No amount of soreness and pain could wipe away the sheer pleasure of washing away the day’s events. Dried blood disappeared from his hands, the bandage around his bicep went from blotchy red to faded pink, and the sweat and grime became an uncomfortable memory.
When he opened his eyes, he found Gray watching him with an uncertain smile.
He’d been under too. His messy hair was slicked back and darker than the night, and rivulets of water ran down his body.
“Good, huh?”
Darius nodded with a dip of his chin and stayed in a crouch, the surface of the water playing around the seam of his lips. “How are you feeling, kid?”
Gray lifted a shoulder and mirrored Darius’s position. “Empty, I guess. It changes too fast, though.”
Darius could relate. “It’ll be like that for some time.” He knew it firsthand. Just when he thought progress had been made, something would trigger him. Gray would too. He’d grieve and bargain; he’d be furious and numb. He would get so fucking tired of himself. The emotional roller coaster would make him wanna run and hide.
Gray winced at something, and Darius caught him stretching out his leg underwater.
“We shouldn’t stay in very long,” he said. “I want to take another look at your leg.”
“Okay.” Gray nodded slowly and gazed up at the night sky. “I don’t feel like a murderer.”
Darius blinked. That one took a turn, though it didn’t take long to catch up with Gray’s line of thinking. “Good. You shouldn’t.” Darius couldn’t be firm enough on that subject. “You have no reason to feel bad about anything. We’ve acted in self-defense.”
“I guess,” Gray whispered to himself. He looked so lost. Whether it was in his head or something else didn’t matter. Darius wanted to take it all away. The pain, the confusion, the uncertainty, all of it.
So he racked his brain for the most random shit he could come up with. “The first day on the yacht when you weren’t sure of my intentions, I told you your mother had a suggestion to fix that.”
Gray cocked his head, listening. “You mean about the secret?”
Darius nodded. Something only Gray and his mother knew, something they hid in the break room of the bed-and-breakfast. “What is it?”
Gray mustered a tired smirk. “If I tell you, I have to kill you.”
That one drew a chuckle from Darius. His chest felt lighter for a beat, just because the kid’s sense of humor was still there. It eased the tension, at least for now.
Gray shrugged slightly and smiled. “It’s a tablet. We read the same corny romance novels on it.”
Darius smiled back.
“I’d never hear the end of it if my brothers knew,” Gray insisted.
It was what brothers did, wasn’t it?
“Oh shit.” Gray was looking down with wide eyes, the sight instantly sending a bolt of panic through Darius. “I’m, I’m—I think I’m bleeding. A lot.”
“All right, come on.” Thrown into action, Darius closed the distance and snaked an arm around Gray’s waist. “The bullet could have shifted. We’ll see if I can get it out.” He hoped they had all the supplies necessary as he helped Gray out of the water.
Gray hissed while lowering himself to sit down on a flat rock.
He hadn’t been exaggerating. Streaks of pink and red ran down his leg, and his bandage was quickly darkening. Thank fuck the light was a bit better here, though Darius would still need more than the moon to sort this shit out.
“Wrap this around you.” Darius draped the towel over Gray’s shoulder before digging into the medical bag. The keyring-sized flashlight was good to find, and he held it between his teeth. The bigger medical kit with forceps and clamps was back on the beach, so he’d have to make do with tweezers to get the bullet.
“You gotta be naked?” Gray asked shakily.
“For chrissakes, knucklehead.” The grunt came out muffled by the flashlight.
“I’m just saying! A normal person goes for a swim in trunks or underwear.”
“A normal person gets clean naked.” The second the words were out, Darius shook his head. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten sucked into Gray’s bizarre banter in a time like this. “I need you to lie back. Pull up your knee too.”
He began removing the old bandage once he had the supplies ready.
“I don’t suppose there are any drugs?” Gray was starting to look worried.
It was a reminder for Darius to stay composed. “Afraid not, kid.” Actually, there was a syringe with heroin, but fuck that. They hadn’t come anywhere near that type of emergency. “Here. Bite down on this.” He handed Gray his T-shirt.
“Great.” Pain flitted across his face as he rolled up the shirt and bit into it.
Darius adjusted the flashlight in his mouth, then revealed the open gunshot wound where a gush of blood was seeping out. With no time to waste, he carefully slipped the tweezers inside and immediately encountered the bullet. It had definitely shifted.
Gray whimpered and tensed up.
Ryan should’ve been here for this. Darius’s knowledge of field medicine basically began and ended in dealing with cuts and fractures. Logic told him to get the bullet out if it was no longer blocking the bleeding. As for the rest…fuck, he’d have to find some other way to stop the blood from gushing out.
“I know this is the last thing you wanna hear, but try to keep calm.” Darius concentrated, brow furrowed, and waited for the barely there snick as metal met metal. There. He maneuvered the tweezers around the bullet, trying his best not to push it in farther, and slowly got a grasp. “Almost done, sweetheart.”
The bullet was removed, and Darius dropped everything but the flashlight to stop the bleeding. Cauterizing it with heat was out of the question, with the wound being so deep, so after pouring alcohol into the opening, he tore up two packets of sterile pads. Gray choked around a sob, and Darius peered into the bag—
“Fuckin’ A.” He’d just spotted a first aid pack with a sling made from gauze. It should, technically, be strong enough to cut off circulation at least a little. He rolled out the thin fabric, ignored the note with instructions, and wrapped it tightly around Gray’s upper thigh.
“Ow,” Gray groaned.
Darius wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. His biggest worry now was that he knew next to nothing about internal bleeding. They’d have to keep a close eye on things, and Gray was done using his leg.
More pads and surgical tape followed, then two rolls of bandage and even more tape.
Gray turned his head and spat, pushing the T-shirt away from his face. “It’s t-too tight, man. It hurts like a bitch.”
“It’s supposed to,” Darius replied quiet
ly. He was staring intently at the bandaged leg, daring even the slightest spot to turn red. Well, not counting the mess he’d made with his bloodied hands. So far, so good. “Can’t let you bleed out, can I?”
Gray responded with an incoherent mumble and let out a pained moan.
The syringe caught Darius’s attention again, and he warred with himself. If it’d been morphine, he wouldn’t hesitate.
Removing the flashlight from his mouth, Darius rose to his feet and reached for his discarded boxer—motherfucker. He gritted his teeth when a wall of pain slammed into him. Driven by adrenaline, he’d forgotten his own wounded shoulder. But he sure as fuck remembered now. Jesus Christ.
He carefully put on his boxer briefs, then walked down to the water to clean off his hands. All the while, he thought of the goddamn heroin. It would have to be the smallest of doses…
The benefits convinced him in the end. Gray’s pain would fade for a couple hours, and more than that, he’d get some sleep. Sleep he desperately needed. They both did, but Darius would rest easier once they were back with the others.
Hm. Actually, the best benefit of the H was probably that Gray’s heart rate would slow down. Which should help the bleeding to lessen too.
“Darius, it hurts so much,” Gray whimpered.
Darius scrubbed tiredly at his face. Okay, fine, it was time to do this. He returned to the rock and sat down next to Gray. He explained that he could inject the drug, a small amount, which he couldn’t emphasize enough.
“It’ll help your leg stop spasming as well.” Darius slipped a hand around Gray’s knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. The kid kept tensing up from the tremors of agony.
“Okay,” Gray said, sucking in a breath. “Do it. I trust you.”
All right then, this could get…interesting.
Four
Even though the situation was serious, it was impossible not to find humor in it. Gray was endearing as all hell when he was high, and Darius was confident he hadn’t administered too much—or too little, for that matter.