“Whoa, chill out.” Trent grabs the pan from me and sets it on the counter. “All you have to do is let it dry out.”
“Huh?”
“Trust me, I do all the dishes, remember?” He leans on the counter, folding his arms. “The melted stuff is impossible. The more you scrub the more it seals itself to the pan. But let that stuff dry out and it pops right off with one scrape of a spatula.”
“Oh.” I throw the scrubber in the sink. “Would have been nice to know that three pans ago. I just wasted a lot of time.”
He laughs. “You do seem to enjoy doing things the hard way.”
“Shut up.” I punch his shoulder.
He goes quiet, and I know he’s picked up on something. Trent is freaky that way. “Let’s take a break, huh? You look like hell.”
“Didn’t you just get here?”
“You did all my work and Mom’s running the front just fine.” He nods toward the back.
May as well. Trent’s practically my therapist these days. I don’t mind, seeing as how the list of people who like me keeps dwindling. There are two takeout bags from the best Italian place in Clovis on the table. I look at him. “Isn’t this like cheating on your family?”
He shakes his head as we sit. “You can only eat so many burgers. Figured you’d enjoy something different, what with your discerning palate and all.”
“You’re a good friend, Trent. No one I know would do this for me.”
He shrugs. “Maybe you know the wrong people.”
Opening the nearest box, I dig in. It’s pasta with a creamy sauce and mushrooms. Trent hands me a breadstick and then opens his own box, which is spaghetti and meatballs.
I dip my bread in the sauce. “Keira tried to jump me on Christmas.”
“What?” he chokes out.
“She snuck up to my room in the middle of the night and demanded sex. I told her to leave.” I lean on the table, not wanting to relive this. “Daphne heard the whole thing. She knows everything now.”
“Damn.” He slurps up some noodles and then laughs a little.
“What?”
“It’s crazy. I can’t even get a girlfriend, and here girls just throw themselves at you.” He takes a swig of his drink. “If I didn’t like you so much, I’d hate you.”
I swallow another bite. “You should hate me.”
“I used to,” he says. “Until I figured out you were completely oblivious to your status. It’s hard to hate someone who tries so hard, and you treated me like a person. Actually, I think that’s why everyone likes you so much. You let people be who they are, no judging.”
I sigh. “Maybe you could tell Daphne that, because she thinks I’m a fake.”
“Well, sometimes you are.”
“Yeah…thanks for the pep talk, bud.” I grab another box, happy to find a big slice of lasagna.
He laughs. “Look, I’m sorry, but it’s true. You let everyone else be who they are at the expense of yourself. You’re a Yes Man. Yes, I’ll go to your party and get drunk. Yes, I will watch anime with you. Yes, I will keep you happy, and I don’t care how miserable it makes me. Have you ever done anything without worrying about what others would think?”
I glare at him. “I work here. I like working here.”
“Have you told the team?”
I wince.
“See? Even though you love working here, you don’t want them thinking you’re some burger-flipping loser, right?” He shakes his head. “I’m just telling it like it is.”
I don’t answer. I don’t need to. He knows he’s right, and so do I.
Chapter Forty
The bass rumbles through Puke the second I turn onto Dallas’s street. Cars are already crammed in every available spot near the house, so I park where I am, right near the corner. There’s no way I’m getting blocked in. I need to make sure I can get away if I want.
As I get out, I’m unsure of why I even came to his New Year’s party. I guess because it’s slightly better than being at home. It’s a distraction. I need one. Badly.
Because honestly I’m tired of thinking about what a horrible person I am. I’m tired of people telling me I suck. Like I don’t know already. At least here, at this party, no one will lecture me about all the crap I’ve done wrong.
When I get to Dallas’s front door I let myself in. I’m late, so the place is already packed. There’s already confetti and beer cans everywhere. The music blares over the chatter. I don’t know half the people, but everyone calls my name as I pass.
“Russ! What’s up, man?”
“Hey! Russ is here!”
“Dude, over here, Russ! Grab a beer!”
For the first time all week, I stand a little taller. These people barely know me and they’re happy to see me. It feels good, and soon enough I’m smiling. This is way better than moping around my room.
“You came!” Dallas says when I find him. He already seems a little sloshed. “Here.”
I take the beer he offers, but I don’t feel like getting hammered tonight. Try as I might, I can’t forget how scared Daphne was when I passed out last time. Girlfriend or not, I will never do that to her again. I’ll just get tipsy, enough to dull the pain.
Dallas leans against the kitchen counter. “We’re friends, right?”
“Yeah…”
He smiles too widely. “Yeah, we’re best friends. Don’t tell anyone, but I’m so glad you got rid of that goodie-goodie Garret. He’s such a waste of space, so not cool enough for you.”
I stiffen. “Oh?”
“Dude, he’s so lame!”
Dallas gets honest when drunk, apparently. Not sure I’m a fan of that. Try as I might, I still like Garret. He’s still my best friend in my mind. I get why he hates me, and I can’t really blame him. So it takes a lot of effort to say, “You think?”
“AP classes, psh. I hate smartasses.” He nudges my arm. “But now you have me, and we’ll make this last semester rock!”
“Sure…” I chug the rest of my beer. So this is why Dallas likes me. I’m a status symbol. A trophy. The second Garret was gone I needed a replacement best friend. He thinks I’m his ticket to topping the social ladder.
Sad thing is he kind of has replaced Garret. At least that’s what it looks like.
Hands slide around my waist from behind. “Russell Pearson. Where have you been, mister?”
“Mercedes.” I pull her off me. Whoa, she’s smashed and it’s not even ten. “How are you?”
“Awful. You ditched me, and after we were having such a good time together!” She leans in, and I get a blast of her stale breath. “Why did you do that?”
“I…” Daphne. She was the reason, still is the reason. “I didn’t want to take advantage of you. You were really drunk—you’re really drunk now.”
“Psh.”
“You know,” Dallas says to her. “I’m right here if you ever get tired of Russ rejecting you.”
She glares at him. “I’m not that desperate.”
I sigh. I hate not being drunk when everyone else already is. They either sound stupid or say things they shouldn’t. Both are annoying. “Hey, how about we watch some of that New Year’s party in New York?”
“Yeah! You’re smart!” Mercedes hooks her arm with mine, and Dallas follows us to the leather couch in the living room.
People are already watching the crowd in Times Square. Well, kind of. We have to squeeze in between a couple making out and a sleeping guy. We watch for a while, and then Mercedes moans.
“I wish we were in New York. This place sucks!”
“Thanks a lot,” Dallas says.
She rolls her eyes. “No, not your place. Clovis. We have to watch other people having fun in big, awesome cities. Someday I’ll do something really cool for New Year’s.”
“Like what?” I ask.
“Hmm…” She strokes her chin, thinking way too hard. Then she busts up laughing. “I’ll go to the moon and eat all the cheese!”
Dallas groans.
“I’m getting another drink.”
“Grab me one,” I say. I’ll need to be drunker to get through this.
For some reason, I can’t stop thinking about the last time Garret and I went to one of these parties together. Mercedes was all over him. I was bored out of my mind, and so was he. That was the night everything changed, the night we met Keira. What would have happened if we’d just stayed at the party? Would he still be here with me? He’d probably have another girlfriend. I’d probably still think I was his sidekick.
It was never perfect, but it would have been a lot better than this. Maybe I’d have even noticed Daphne is amazing and perfect, and we’d be together tonight.
“Why won’t you kiss me?” Mercedes says out of nowhere. “I don’t get it. Everyone wants to kiss me except the one guy I want to kiss me! It’s not fair.”
I sigh. “We’ve been through this a thousand times, Mercedes.”
She leans into me, her boobs trapping me as she puts her arm on my shoulder. “What about just for tonight? It’s not New Year’s unless you kiss someone.”
I bristle at the contact, so much so that I have to pull back. A girl’s touch has never bothered me before, but this is all wrong. I don’t want some meaningless make-out session. I don’t want someone who has no idea what I’m really like, someone I’d have to pretend for everyday.
All I want is Daphne.
“What the hell are you doing here, Clown Bitch?” Dallas’s voice booms over all the noise and everyone goes quiet.
I jump up, completely freaked out. It’s like some kind of sick sign from the universe. She can’t be here. There’s no way she’d step foot in his house.
“Are you here to do a circus act? It better be raunchy or I’m not paying,” he continues. People laugh.
No.
Before I know it, I’m around the corner, following the gaze of all the onlookers. There she is in the entryway, bundled in a thick hoodie and bright orange scarf. She looks right at me, her eyes pleading for me to do something. Just seeing her again makes things clearer. No one could ever replace her. I have to get her back.
“Seriously, Clown Bitch, if you’re not going to entertain us, you need to leave.” Dallas shoos her off.
She holds her head high, though I can see she’s trembling. “I need to talk to Russ.”
“Russ Pearson?” He laughs. “Why would he ever talk to you?”
She looks past him, to me. “It’s about Garret.”
I can’t breathe. If she came all the way here, something must be really wrong. I push past a few people, trying to get to her.
“Who cares? Go back to your freaks and leave us alone.” Then he shoves her, and the crowd lets her fall.
Seeing her on the ground, it finally sinks in. Why am I trying to make these people happy? They know nothing about me. Dallas doesn’t even know enough to keep his dirty hands off Daphne. No one knows that the girl they’re laughing at is one of the most important people in my life.
These people don’t like me. They like who they think I am.
None of it’s real. I might like football and weight lifting and a party now and then, but that doesn’t mean I have to be what they expect me to be. I should be trying to impress the people who actually care about me, the people I care about.
“Daphne!” I push people out of my way. Some move when they see me coming. Everyone stares, probably shocked that I know her name. I kneel down and take her hand. “Are you okay?”
She looks around, obviously scared. “Mostly.”
“I can’t believe you came here.” I pull her up and put my arms around her, hoping she doesn’t mind.
She clings to me, hiding her face in my chest. “Get me out.”
“Okay.” I try to guide her to the door, but there are people everywhere, staring like I’m some kind of alien.
“Russ!” Dallas yells.
I stop, turn to face him. “Yeah?”
“What the hell are you doing?” He points at Daphne. “Do you actually know Clown Bitch?”
I hold her tighter. “Don’t call her that. Ever again.”
“Why not?” He finishes off the beer he has and throws the empty can on the ground, chuckling to himself. “The name suits her. She’s a total bitch and she dresses like a neon clown!”
I let her go and close the distance between Dallas and me in three steps. Then I slam my fist into his face. He goes flying into the people behind him, his nose already spurting blood. I stand over him, ready to do it again if he gets up. “She’s my girlfriend, dickhead!”
His eyes go wide as he clutches his nose.
“You know I could beat your ass, so I better not hear you breathe a bad word about her again. You better not even think it, or so help me, I’ll make you pay.” I look around at the other shocked faces. “And if any one else has a problem with Daphne, you can take it up with me. I’ll be happy to re-educate you.”
No one takes me up on my offer, so I grab Daphne’s hand and pull her toward the door. She doesn’t resist until we hit the street. I look back. “Daphne?”
“Did that actually happen?” she whispers.
“I guess so.” The strange thing is I don’t even care. No one can treat her like that, even if she doesn’t want to be my girlfriend. I don’t know why I said that. It just came out.
“I can’t believe you hit Dallas.”
“I told you I would never let him call you that.” I pull her closer, hoping that she’ll let me hold her again. She doesn’t resist. “I think I finally get what you were saying. Sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I know you might not want to be with me anymore, but if you ever do I’d consider myself the luckiest guy in the world.”
Her eyes tear up and she smiles. “You’re mine now.”
“All yours.” I kiss her right there in front of Dallas’s house. Screw the people looking through the windows. Happy New Year’s to me. “Now, what were you saying about Garret?”
Her face cracks. “He got home early from Minnesota and came to anime night to find Keira.”
I have a feeling I know where this is going. “And?”
“He called her when he found out she wasn’t with us, and…” She leans into me, her pain becoming mine. “A guy answered, said he was Keira’s boyfriend and everything. Russ, you should have seen him. All I could think was that he needed you, because nothing we said seemed to help.”
I sigh. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. “I don’t know if he’ll talk to me, but I will sure as hell try.”
“I knew you would.” Her phone beeps. She pulls it out of her pocket, and her eyes go wide. “Shit.”
“What?”
She holds it out for me to see. It’s a text from Izzy:
Garr went to K’s. Said he had to see. Going to stop him.
Chapter Forty-One
Bad. Bad, bad, bad. Garret has no idea what kind of loser Keira has over there, and that guy just found out she was cheating on him, too. Whoever he is, he won’t be happy. I take Daphne’s phone and hit reply while she looks on. Don’t. Could be dangerous. I almost hit send, but she stops me. “Say I’m getting you. Tell her to wait for us.”
I type in the rest of the message and we huddle together, hoping for a fast reply. It comes. Don’t you dare. He won’t come anyway.
Daphne rips the phone from my hand with a frustrated grunt. He IS coming. With him right now.
EXCUSE ME????
Izzy’s rage, even in text, makes both of us cringe. “I can’t believe you just told her that,” I say.
“If you can admit to Dallas that I’m your girlfriend, then it’s only fair I tell Izzy,” she says as she types. That’s right. We’ve been dating behind ur back & we’re coming to help. “Maybe I was being a bit of a hypocrite, saying you were a fake. I’m not exactly myself all the time either.”
I hug her from behind. “You were right, though. No more hiding for either of us.”
“It’s a deal.”
Izzy doesn’t
answer, at least not in the thirty seconds we give her before Daphne runs to her bike. I get on behind her, since the beer buzz is enough to make me worry about driving, and we head for Keira’s house, not knowing exactly what awaits us. The cool night air whips at my face, drying my eyes and clearing my mind. This time I will help Garret the way I should.
When we reach Keira’s street, there’s a crowd of people on her lawn and the music blares. Apparently, she was having her own New Year’s Eve party. When Daphne cuts the engine we hear the cheering: “Fight! Fight! Fight!”
Sure enough, Garret’s in the middle, facing a guy with several tattoos and enough muscle that I’d be worried about taking him.
Izzy’s outfit glitters at the crowd’s fringe. I’ve never been so happy about her strange clothing, because even on New Year’s her neon sequined outfit stands out. She and Colin are on a futile quest to push through the mass of people.
I put my hand on her shoulder. “Let me.”
Her eyes are wide when she turns. And furious. “Go away! This has nothing to do with you traitors.”
“Izzy.” Daphne’s voice is flat. “Get over it.”
“How could you betray me for him?” Izzy points at me like I’m scum. “You’re my best friend!”
“I’m still your best friend!” Daphne stands strong. “And if you really are mine you’ll let me do things that make me happy…”
I don’t hear the rest of their conversation because all of my focus in on this fight. Garret takes a punch right to the face, hard enough that he falls into the crowd. They push him back in, seeming to enjoy his pain. It’s eerily familiar to Dallas’s party. Garret doesn’t belong here with these punks any more than Daphne belonged in that house full of jocks and cheerleaders.
I force my way through the crowd, angry and sad and determined all at once. But not at this guy. He’s just like anyone else who’s fallen for Keira’s crap. Before he takes another swipe at Garr, I grab his arm. The crowd goes quiet, save a few people booing. Garret stares at me in horror, like I’m Death come to collect.
“That’s enough,” I say.
“Back off.” Tattoo Guy tries to shove me off, but I stand my ground. His breath reeks of alcohol and smoke, which is when I realize just how careful I need to be. I have no clue what he could be on.
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