“Love?” Adam’s voice cracked.
“That’s what it’s called when you burn your sister’s phone because she was trying to tell the girl you’re into that she could never have sex with you.” Zach paused his game and looked at him. “Unless this is just about sex. But, hey . . . I get that, too.” He grinned.
“Mari won’t have sex with me, at least not now, because I’m not her boyfriend, and she says I need to stay away because she killed a little girl.”
“No way!” Zach sat up straight. “You’re kidding me.”
“No. She told me last night when I was helping her feel better. She says it was an accident. She was babysitting, and a little girl died. I think it gives her nightmares.”
“Dad’s gonna forbid you to see her if you tell him this.” Zach rested his face in his hands, dragged his fingers down and landed them on his knees. “You can’t tell him.”
“Why not? I tell Dad everything.” Adam shuffled his feet. This sounded like a bad plan.
“I’m telling you—if you want to be with her, this has to keep quiet. He’s already upset she smokes around you.” Zach turned his attention back to the game and unpaused it.
Adam walked over and sat down next to him. “Do you think she’s a bad person?”
“Hell, no. She’s great to you—and an evil person would treat you like you’re messed up.” He threw his hand in the air as he tried to avoid dying on his game. The controller was being whipped around by his brother’s big hands. “Plus, anybody that’s as into music as she is can’t be all bad.”
“Is that a joke? You’re teasing, right?” Adam grabbed his brother’s massive bicep and pushed and pulled to wiggle him until he answered.
“Yeah . . . See, you’re getting it. You’ve learned a lot from being around her. Like I said—I think she’s cool. She’s good for you. And it sounds like you’re good for her, too. Keep talking to her, tell Dad less and everything will be fine. She’ll be your girlfriend someday.”
“But when? I don’t know how much longer I can stand it. I’m still sore around her all the time. I took care of myself one day at school in the bathroom, but it took forever, and I was way late for class. Plus, a rotten-fruit girl I can’t stand stopped me in the hallway right after and propositioned me. I had to tell her to her face I didn’t find her attractive and I wished she’d stop talking to me.”
“Really? Holy shit. I need to hang out with you more at school. You have all the fun.” Zach laughed.
“I also had to tell her she wore too much makeup. But I smiled and said it in a polite way.” Adam rubbed his knees. He wanted to hold his brother’s hand, but Zach kind of discouraged it sometimes.
“Good for you. Let the bitches know what you think.” His game ended. “Who was this girl? Do I know her?”
Adam shrugged. “Her name’s Tara. I try to avoid her. Mari doesn’t like her either.”
“I know her. She’s always riding Rory, trying to get him to sleep with her after the football games.”
“That’s smart. He’s probably tired after running so much,” Adam answered.
“Bud, sleeping with somebody means sex.”
“Oh.”
Zach set the controller aside. “I’m glad you stayed away from that skank. She’s nasty.”
Adam was unsure of what to say to that, so he kept quiet.
“How much do you miss Mari?”
Adam shrugged, and his shoulders were tight, knotted up. “More than anything. More than missing Mom.”
“Whoa. That’s a big deal.” Zach rested his forearms on his knees and hung his head. “I’ve never met a girl that makes me feel that way. I can’t even imagine.”
“You know how you felt last summer when you pulled a groin muscle and I had to help you go to the bathroom for the next few days?”
“No,” Zach groaned, “I’ve blocked that out for the rest of my days.”
“You do too remember.” Adam nudged his leg like Mari had the first day he met her to convince him to go to lunch. “Remember how miserable you were? And how you hated how much pain you were in down there?”
Zach nodded.
“That’s how I feel every second I’m not with her, but worse, because I worry she’s . . .”
“What?”
“I worry she’s not happy without me either.”
Zach slapped his thighs with both hands. “That’s it! We are going over there tonight. You’re going to tell her all this.”
Adam’s eyes went big and he gulped. “I . . . Um, I can’t.”
“You can, and if you don’t do it, then I’m gonna tell her you read all her emails and texts on her phone.”
Adam sunk back into the couch cushions. “Okay—I’ll tell her.”
Had he stopped breathing? Because his whole body felt numb.
He reached over and held Zach’s hand.
Zach looked at him with an uplifted brow, questioning why he was doing that.
“I need to. You’ve made me worry,” Adam said.
“Makes sense.” Zach relaxed back into the cushions, changed the TV channel so they could watch something together until Sam got home.
It was nice to sit together and be comfortable this way. He missed his brother. Zach had been so busy lately with all sorts of after school things, Adam really only saw him when they worked out together, he went to practice with him or when they ate dinner. That was it. And at practice Adam could tell it bothered Zach to hold his hand when they were sitting on the bench together.
He was always on the phone these days.
* * *
A few hours later, dinner was quiet and tense. Their dad asked how everybody’s day went, and only Sam answered. What were Adam and Zach supposed to say? Adam paced, mixed some music and kept calling Mari? And that Zach mostly played video games and did a little bit of homework? No, thanks. Better to keep quiet.
At the end of the simple dinner their dad had brought home, Zach announced that since they missed their gym workout at school today, he and Adam were going to the gym tonight.
Their dad approved with a wave of his hand.
Adam was shaking so much inside it was hard to pack his gym bag with clothes he wasn’t going to be using.
He avoided his dad and sister so he didn’t have to lie to them.
On the drive over to Mari’s house, the numbers appeared and got stronger and stronger the closer they got.
“It’s okay . . . Take a few deep breaths. She probably already knows how you feel,” Zach told him before he put the car in park.
“But that doesn’t mean she wants to hear about it. If I don’t say it, she can keep pretending to be fine with me. She already told me we can only be friends.”
“Things change. I’m telling you—she’s interested.” Zach shoved his arm to get him to leave the car.
Adam got out and chanted some new formulas he’d been working on as he ambled toward her front door. He tapped a few times timidly.
The door opened, and her mother stood there with a confused look on her face.
“Why are you here? I told her to leave you alone,” she said.
“Oh, I didn’t know.” He cleared his throat as quietly as he could so he could remain in her good graces with his manners. “I wanted to see how she’s doing after last night.”
“Last night? Oh yeah, she told me she lost her phone at the gym and was upset about it. She drove back there today and got it back. It was a miracle she sent me a text before she started her workout. Most of the time she doesn’t tell me where she’s going, and when she does—she’s lying anyway, so I never know what to believe. I swear that girls just goes and does whatever the hell she wants—acts like she’s eighteen already.”
Adam’s eyes went wide. Mari lied to her mom again, and what was this about eighteen?
“Pardon me, but do you mind telling me when her birthday is so I’ll be prepared to celebrate it with her?”
She leaned into the door jamb with a smirk. “Her birthda
y’s at the end of this month on the twenty-eighth—but don’t bother. She hates even acknowledging it.”
His face dropped. “Why? Birthdays are the best day after Christmas.”
She chuckled. “Who the hell knows.”
“You’re her mother—how come you don’t know?” His eyes were big, and he kept from blinking. His mind was already kind of racing because Mari’s birthday was in a little more than two weeks. That didn’t give him much time to figure out how to celebrate with her.
She exhaled loudly. “You think she tells me anything? I just told you what a conniving girl she is and how secretive she is about everything.” Her left leg swung back and the tip of her toe balanced on the ground with her heel waggling back and forth like she had an abundance of time to stand here and talk to him. There was an amused quirk to her lips. “And when she does choose to say something, half the time she’s making stuff up. So you tell me—should I pretend like I believe her, or be honest and tell I can see through her bullcrap?”
He wrinkled his nose and forehead. What did all this mean? Why would a grown-up ask him these confusing questions? “I’m not in charge of a minor, so I don’t know what you should do. That’s a hard answer to give, I think, even for parents with lots of kids. But, If you don’t mind my asking, what happened to her? She seems so sad at times.”
She rolled her eyes and stretched her neck. “Oh, no. It’s not my job to tell you what to do either. She made her choices, and now she has to deal with them by telling new people she meets.”
“She won’t tell me,” he said, his voice dropping a little in case Mari was behind the door hearing this.
“And what? I should encourage her to drag you into her screwed-up life? Not happening. You’re a sweet kid—she thinks so, too. She knows she’s bad for you. End of story.” She reached for the door to shut it.
“Wait! Can I see her? I want to make sure she’s okay.”
“Sorry, kiddo. I told her you’re not allowed over here anymore.”
His chest constricted, and his breath caught in his throat. “Please . . . She’s important to me.”
“I’m sure she is—but it’s to protect you. Go home, Adam, and I won’t tell her you came here.”
“B-but—”
“Night.” The door was closed.
He stood there with his head sinking down toward his chest. What was he supposed to do now?
Would Zach really bully his way inside her home? He couldn’t allow that. Somebody could get hurt, and Mari might hate him if that happened.
He ignored the numbers getting loud once more in his head, and when he got in the car, he did what he knew Mari would.
“She wasn’t home,” he lied.
“Lame. Oh well. We’ll catch her tomorrow.” Zach started the car back up and they left.
Adam clutched at the seam on his pants. How many more would he tell?
However many it took to have her. That was how many.
Chapter 12
Adam kept trying to find a way to tell Mari how he felt. Every night for a little more than the last two weeks, Zach would ask him if he’d done it yet. He’d make a threat to tell her for him but never did it.
Today was her special day, and the numbers were pounding inside him. Her mom said Mari ignored her birthday.
But there was no way he could do that. Not when she meant so much to him. He’d celebrate her birth every day if he could.
Once his dad found out he’d paid for those expensive concert tickets with his credit card, it was taken away. Well, that was fine. He figured out a free way to celebrate today in a way he thought she might approve of.
Everything was in place. Hopefully she’d cooperate.
He stepped into Calculus, and he had to stifle a giggle when he thought of his secret plans.
“Hi,” he said, tucking his head down to hide his explosive smile.
“Adam, you’re giddy. What’s going on?”
He shrugged and sat down. A second later, he snagged her hand and put it in its proper place.
“My mom told me the other night you stopped by two weeks ago in the evening. Why didn’t you tell me?”
The bubbly, laughing feeling inside quieted. “She was unhappy I was there, and it was almost three weeks now—not two weeks ago. She said she told you to stay away. But you’ve ignored her. I’m glad you did. Is that wrong?”
She shook her head and bit her lip through a smile. Her lip popped out of her teeth’s hold. “It’s not wrong. You’ve got a bit of a naughty streak in you, and I love it at times.” She pulled her hand back and leaned back in her chair, tipped it a little and chuckled.
“I should be bad? That makes you happy?” His head and eyes both followed her as she leaned back further, then rocked back and forth on a chair that was supposed to be stationary.
“You don’t have to be anything but you.” She dropped the chair with a slight thud. “Speaking of which, I have something for you for having to deal with my dragon of a mom.” She opened up her backpack and showed him two of those half-sized cans of soda.
“I can have those?”
She nodded. “But . . . I want you to always eat a full meal beforehand with lots of protein in it. Then you can have only one. So spread these two out over two days. If you do it the way I’m telling you, there should be less of a shock to your system. Sip it—no chugging. And this time, I hope you’ll figure out a way to get rid of the evidence before your sister finds it.”
“I could chuck it out the window and into the pool. Sometimes homeless people wander through our alley and toss stuff into our pool.”
“No. They might ask you about it, and you’re no good at lying.”
“Am too!”
She chuckled and went on, saying, “Where’s someplace you go in your house that your family doesn’t?”
“The piano. Nobody touches it. They hate it.”
She bobbed her head several times in increments. “That sounds perfect. And then maybe on the day the recycling’s being emptied, you can find a way to stuff it down into the bin where nobody can see.”
“I can do that. I can, Mari! You’re the best!” He lurched forward and hugged her tight.
“Not the best, really—just know how to be a dealer.” She snickered.
He let go of her and tuned into the beginning of the lecture, but before long he wanted to be closer to her.
The lights went out for a slide show.
Adam scooted near her without a sound.
Mari paid no heed.
He pushed her hair over her shoulder, and still she was paying attention to the lesson.
This was perfect. Her birthday should be awash in clever, clandestine kisses. He leaned in, kissed from her ear to her collarbone. It was done so slowly, with such precision, no one could have heard it.
That was until Mari moaned softly.
He covered her mouth with his hand, slid his other sneaky hand between her legs and kneaded at her thighs.
She began to weave around in her seat like she was losing her balance and might fall off.
So, he slung a leg over her lap to keep her in place.
He nipped and sucked at her collarbone, continued to play between her legs, getting dangerously higher and higher.
She tilted her head away from him, making the area easier to access.
When the lights went on, he didn’t care. He slowly pulled away and reveled in the way her eyelids were half closed and how she wore a lazy smile.
“At lunchtime, I want you to come with me somewhere.” He cleared his throat and fought off a triumphant laugh.
Her eyebrows rose.
“It’s on campus—I promise.” He crossed his heart and grinned.
“Okay.”
He could barely sit still after she agreed. The class finished up, and they dutifully attended honors Senior English.
He found ways to touch her in secret places some more, but it was harder to do with the lights on.
It didn’t mat
ter, though. He was having fun making her feel good on her birthday.
The best part was she had no idea why he was doing this to her.
When the bell rang, he dragged her behind him.
“Where’re we going?” she asked.
“You’ll see . . .” He breathed hard—the numbers were edging their way into his mind. His nerves jumped about. What if she hated this and thought it was immature?
“My arm may fall off if you keep up this pace,” she teased.
He giggled like a kid. “It won’t. I need you to have both arms for what we’re gonna do.”
“What’re we gonna do?” Her voice went up in pitch.
“Hmm . . . Looks like rain.” He cleared his throat.
He could feel her behind him, angling her body to look up at the sky. “It’s sunny as usual,” she disagreed.
“No, definitely.” He held out his other hand, palm up like drops were landing on it. “It’s gonna rain. And that’s good—you told me in the first week I came here you liked to have rain and blue water. You also said you liked real green grass.” He smothered another giggle with his free hand.
“Adam . . . What’s going on?” She pulled back on his arm, but it did nothing to deter him.
“We don’t have much time to enjoy it, so you should walk faster.”
They stopped behind the fenced-off playground for the preschool kids they had here.
Adam signaled to his brother hiding behind a bush with a hose.
There was an umbrella, two rain slickers and a medium-sized plastic shoe box with a lid on it, sitting on a bench.
Adam grabbed them. He helped her put on the slicker, and as soon as it was secured, the fake rain began.
She mentioned fake green grass, but said nothing about disliking fake rain. So, he brought her the weather she wanted.
Mari turned to him in awe as he placed the umbrella over her head.
“You did this for me?” Her eyes were so big and beautiful, they were like inviting silver, flickering candles. Almost reminded him of Christmas.
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