by Kelli Kimble
She whirled around, her cheeks radiating deep scarlet now. “What makes you think that?”
“When I was home a while back, right after my parents left . . . I was feeling out of sorts. Kind of lost, you know? And I liked to go into Mr. Anu’s den and sit on the floor while I looked out the window.
“Once while I was sitting there, you and Mr. Anu came in and talked about a task he’d given you. He sent you to a bank with a bunch of money with instructions to buy stock.”
I chanced a look at her. She had her hip against the windowsill with her arms crossed. Her expression was pained.
“I know Mr. Anu has plans for the future. Plans for me. I thought by coming away to school I’d get away from being involved in something that felt wrong.”
Tessa chuffed out a breath. “Kid, you are so far off the mark.”
Normally I might have bristled at her calling me a kid. Instead I felt a lightening of my burden. My idea that Mr. Anu was planning a market crash was wrong. I’d never been so glad to be wrong.
“I am?”
She came and sat beside me on the bed and pulled me close in a half-hug. She shivered a little, even though I could feel her body heat radiating. “Iris. Anu is a god.”
“I know,” I said.
“Everything that he has done or said or happened since you met him has been at his bidding. He holds all of the cards. He pulls all of the strings. Whatever junk metaphor you want to throw at it, he’s manipulating you and you are doing exactly what he wants. You have not failed him one, single, time.”
Breath whooshed out of me. She squeezed my shoulder, and it reminded me to suck air back in. I couldn’t get enough; I was drowning.
“It’s all right, Iris.”
“But . . . I’m away at school. He didn’t want me to come to school.”
She shook her head. “You’re here to make social connections. Your role in Alpha Nu, meeting Siggie, Professor Cane. He wanted those bonds to be created.”
I still couldn’t get enough air.
“Lean forward, head between your knees. Do you have a paper bag around? You’re hyperventilating.” She started searching around the room, but I stood up, resisting what my body was doing.
“I changed in front of all those people. He’s angry about it. Professor Cane said so.”
Tessa stopped searching and gave me a look of such pity that I almost vomited.
“I told Alpha Nu what I am.” My voice was rising into a whine. “I told them what they are. I tormented that girl with Jacob. I . . . I,” but I couldn’t say anymore. Why had I been so blind to this? How could I have believed that some stranger would just pay for my schooling if he didn’t want me to do it?
“What’s happening here is that you’re making friends — Anubian allies — that Mr. Anu will need to execute his future plans. Just like Kal is off in the army making friends in the military. And Jacob is off at Lowry making political partners. You’re shaping the network for his power play.”
I wanted to roar out that she was wrong, that I’d not been used. I wanted to run from the room and never come back. I wanted to confront Mr. Anu and tell him that I wouldn’t be a pawn in his sick strategies.
“What’s the end result of his plan?”
“Remember how the people treated us, Iris. Still treat you. Is any human on this campus friendly to you?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” I threaded my fingers into my hair and had to fight the urge not to rip it out. “Stop talking in riddles and just tell me what he wants.”
“He wants to be worshipped. He wants to command an army. It’s what any man wants, only on the scale of a god. He wants unlimited power.”
“Tessa!” I couldn’t seem to keep my voice calm. My chest started to heave, and my alternate form took hold. I pushed it back. This was for my human side to hear.
“He’s going to create an economic meltdown on a global scale. When humanity won’t or can’t deal with it, he’ll swoop in and save what remains. Then you and his army will manage them. You’ll convince the humans to worship him and sacrifice for him. Simple as that.”
“We’re half human, Tessa.”
“Humans don’t care about that. They only care that we’re not the same.”
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? What human has ever been kind to you, huh? Name one. Right now.”
“But—”
“No ‘buts.’ That’s how it is, Iris. We’re outcasts. We’ll never be normal. We’ll never have regular lives. This is how we take what we want.”
“My parents—”
She interrupted me again. “Your parents brought you to Salvation at Anu’s request! And they couldn’t even take care of themselves after those townspeople were done with them. If you and Anu hadn’t stepped in, your mother would be a raging alcoholic living in Anu’s basement, and your father would be locked in prison.”
I started to cry because it was suddenly clear. Anu had all of the wins. After Gary’s attack, I’d done everything to play into his hands. I didn’t even have someone objective to talk to; Tessa, Jacob, even Siggie all wanted to do the Anubian thing. He’d made sure I couldn’t talk to Kal or even my parents, and they’d apparently known what he was all along. He’d made sure I would go to school by stroking my stubborn nature. He’d pushed me into Jacob’s arms, and I’d willingly fallen into them with only a little bit of resistance. I was nothing but a cog in his machine.
“Sweetie, now don’t cry.” She wrapped her arms around me and shushed me for a minute. She stroked my hair as she continued. “I know what I’m saying sounds harsh. You think I want human children and babies to suffer? No. But Anu has plans. Plans that will set us up for life. Plans that will bring us out on top instead of on the bottom of humanity’s shoe. I’m tired of being in that position through no fault of my own, and I’m going to do what it takes to get out of that position.”
“You’ll be putting others in that position, though.”
“You know what? I think I’m just not explaining this right. Maybe we should go see Anu right now and get this cleared up.”
A thin slice of fear whipped through me so fast it took my breath away.
“Huh? Does that sound good?” She lifted my chin to make me look at her. She gave a reassuring smile and squeezed me again with her other arm. “You know he’ll make everything better.”
I fumbled for an excuse. I needed to sort all of this out and think about it properly. I wouldn’t be able to do that if Mr. Anu was influencing me.
Siggie came in.
“Hey, Iris,” she said without looking at me. She threw her bag on her bed then turned to me and Tessa. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you had a guest.” She looked at Tessa with a curious expression, obviously waiting for an introduction.
“Siggie, this is Tessa. She’s Jacob and Kal’s older sister. Tessa, this is my roommate, Siggie.”
“Oh, so I see looks run in the family, right?” Siggie winked at Tessa.
“I’m sorry?” Tessa asked.
“She thinks Kal and Jacob are attractive.”
“I think they’re hot,” Siggie corrected. “But not as hot as my Buster.”
“I’d like to go with you to see Mr. Anu right now, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to interrupt his time with Professor Cane. Plus, I promised Siggie we’d go over that paper together. Right, Siggie?” I raised my eyebrows at her, imagining that she could hear the excuse in my prompt.
“Er, right. And you said you’d help me with my rag curls, too. Oh, and don’t forget how you said you’d help me get ready for our move.”
“Your move? Where are you moving to?” Tessa asked.
“To Alpha Nu house. Siggie got a position on the board, and each board member gets to invite a roommate.”
“Really? That’s splendid,” Tessa said. “Anu will be pleased to hear that. Maybe I could help? I’d be happy to do whatever I can.”
“That’d be great,” Siggie said. Sh
e dragged her luggage from under her bed. “Maybe you could help me pack the things in my closet?”
I gritted my teeth. This was better than having to talk with Mr. Anu, but it still wasn’t ideal. For one thing I wasn’t going to get a single thought in edgewise with Siggie giving Tessa the third degree about anything and everything. But I also couldn’t talk to Siggie about what Tessa had said. There was the added bonus of feeling like moving to Alpha Nu house was dealing directly into what Mr. Anu wanted.
Mr. Anu was planning a worldwide economic collapse? It made my head want to explode. It would be great to feel normal, sure. But I didn’t want others to go without so that I could feel that way. I went through the motions of packing with them, keeping up only minimal conversation. Siggie gave me periodic concerned stares, which she followed with keeping Tessa occupied with questions about Jacob and Kal and their lives before they moved in with Mr. Anu.
When Tessa finally left, I was exhausted. Siggie already had her hair done up in rag curls. Tessa claimed to be an expert at it and stepped in to do it. I could tell that she was dying to ask me what was bothering me. I didn’t leave her much opportunity to ask, though. I got ready for bed and climbed under the covers.
“We have a lot to talk about,” I told her as I arranged my blankets. “But it will have to wait until tomorrow. I definitely need some sleep.”
“Okay,” Siggie said. She navigated through her maze of luggage and boxes and climbed into her own bed. “I can tell something is up, you know.”
“I know,” I said.
“Should I be worried?”
Yes.
But I couldn’t tell her that. Whatever happened, I wasn’t going to let Mr. Anu get away with his plan.
* * *
Buster and Jacob came early in the morning to help us move into Alpha Nu. They did all of the heavy lifting, toting all of our belongings down the dorm stairs, filling up Jacob’s car three different times and then lugging everything up to the second floor of Alpha Nu.
Our room had an enormous window with a window seat flanked by a bank of bookshelves. It looked down into a meticulously kept flower garden in the backyard, though it was mostly brown and dead at the moment. We also each had a closet with a slanted ceiling, thanks to the roofline, and a twin-sized bed.
I insisted that Siggie choose the bed first, since I’d done it in the dormitory. She chose the left side, and I took the right. We spent the entire day unpacking and putting our things away. When we were finished it was time to get ready for dinner at Professor Cane’s house.
I put on a baby blue wool dress with a flared skirt that I hoped was understated yet also emphasized that I am young and should be allowed mistakes. Siggie wore a lime green dress with enormous bell-shaped sleeves. It looked a little on the wrong side of cartoonish on the hanger, but once she put it on and finished making herself up even I had to admit it was a stylish choice.
Someone knocked on our door.
“Siggie, Iris,” Shirley called out in a sing-song voice. “You have handsomely dressed guests.”
For the first time I understood why a grand staircase was such a brilliant thing. I felt like royalty as we walked across the balcony and descended the stairs together. Buster and Jacob stood in the foyer, watching our progression. Jacob had a quiet expression of pride. Buster looked like he was about to pounce on his prey.
“Ladies,” Jacob said, reaching to help me from the last step. “You are both a sight to behold.”
Siggie giggled as Buster lifted her from the last step by her waist and set her on the floor. They began kissing. Jacob and I shared a look. He clapped his hands.
“Come on, now, you two. It’s a night for behaving. Let’s get this over with.”
We walked to Professor Cane’s house. Jacob held my hand, though I had to keep finding an excuse to let go for a moment so that I could casually wipe my sweaty palms on my coat. Jacob was his usual unflappable self; his expression was stoic as we mounted the porch steps.
“Hello, hello,” Professor Cane opened the door and ushered us inside. “Let me take your wraps, ladies.” We clustered in the foyer, nervous about moving further into the house. I could sense Mr. Anu’s presence. It called to me. Is this what it feels like to be ushered to the afterlife?
Professor Cane herded us towards the parlor. “Thank you for coming, Iris, and for bringing your friends.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said, stopping so abruptly that Siggie ran into me. “Professor Cane, I’d like you to meet —”
“Jacob and Buster, I presume? Pleased to meet you, of course. But we don’t have to be so formal. Anu is quite excited to see you all.” He managed to get us into the parlor. Tessa and Mr. Anu were standing by the fireplace, admiring a painting. Mr. Anu was first to turn and see us, though he certainly knew we were there.
“Iris, Jacob. I’m so glad to see you.” He stretched his mouth into a broad grin. It looked unnatural on him and a shiver went up my spine. “And this must be Sigourney and Buster?” He shook their hands. The effect of his touch made Siggie’s eyes widen.
At Professor Cane’s suggestion, we settled onto ornate settees arranged in a semi-circle. Professor Cane poured everyone a glass of wine from a cut-glass decanter and handed them out.
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve come,” Mr. Anu said.
“Yes.” I didn’t want to draw this out. If he was going to be angry, I wanted him to yell, hand out his punishments, and leave us be.
He turned to Buster and Siggie. “I understand you’ve seen some things that you perhaps would like to understand better.”
Buster’s mouth curled up on one side. “That’s one way of putting it.”
“Iris and Jacob explained what you are,” Mr. Anu said. “And who I am?”
“Yes, sir,” Buster said.
“I’m sure they gave you the facts, then. Do you have questions?”
“Can I be like Iris?” Siggie asked in a rush, then stopped and explained at a slower pace. “I’d like to know if I can reach my full potential, as she puts it. How do I do that?”
Mr. Anu narrowed his eyes at them. “Ah. You’ve found each other. A true pairing, almost as strong as Jacob and Iris. And you’ve initiated your bond.” He nodded with approval. Siggie blushed straight to her hairline.
“What’s this, about full potential?” Buster asked.
“That’s how they turn into their . . . dog form,” Siggie said. “They found their soulmate, and then they were able to go through some kind of ceremony where Mr. Anu gave them the ability to change into —”
“Werewolves,” I said. I didn’t particularly like being called a dog.
Jacob raked a hand through his hair. “Maybe I didn’t explain to Buster very well,” he said.
“Well. I can see that he needs some schooling. Tessa, would you mind? I’d like a moment alone with Iris.”
Mr. Anu clamped a hand on my wrist and drew me away from the others. “May we use the library, Professor?”
“Yes, of course.”
I wanted to shake free, but I craved this moment of stillness. The anxiety had built so high since I talked to Tessa that I felt like my spine had been drawn too tight.
“Iris. Tessa tells me that you had a chat yesterday about my plans.” He released my arm so that he could draw the pocket doors of the library shut. They rolled into place and thudded against each other in sync with the anxiety dropping back into my body.
“Yes, sir.” I dropped my eyes to the floor. He was wearing shoes that weren’t boots. Nice ones. It struck me as odd.
“It is nothing more than a natural metamorphosis. When the economy collapses, humanity will converge on itself. It’s what will keep them from their ultimate destruction.”
“Explain what converging on itself means.”
“Don’t be naive, Iris. What happens when people don’t have money for food. When they don’t have shelter or medicine when they’re sick. They’ll turn on each other. They aren’t equipped to b
e self-sufficient. They’re nothing more than larvae, trying to eat the food of the gods.”
“Wait. It sounds like you’re saying people will die.”
“Yes,” he nodded his head slowly in agreement. “Some will die. Most will be murdered in the chaos. They simply won’t be able to cope when they are without the social constructs of money and morals.”
The headache I’d had the day before roared back. At least this time I wasn’t hyperventilating. I needed to keep in control if I was going to curtail whatever this plan was. “But, Mr. Anu. What about Joanna? I thought you loved her.”
“I did love her. I still do. And I don’t blame her for her humanity. Back then, things were different. People understood survival. They did what had to be done.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What has to be done?”
“They have to sacrifice. That’s how worship works. They sacrifice to me; they beg me for what they want. And I grant them things when it suits me.” He tapped one of his canines with a fingernail. “And in return, whether I grant them what they yearn for or not, when they die, I shall make sure they are without fear, because you and others like you will be there to show them the way. And I will make sure that you can.”
The ache in my head sharpened to a point behind my eyeballs. I covered them with my hand to block out the light. This can’t be happening.
“Mr. Anu, I can’t participate in this. It’s wrong.”
“You’re already participating, Iris. In the parlor there’s another couple ready and waiting to become what you are. Because of you.” He touched me on the shoulder. “And I don’t think I have to remind you that you can’t stop being what you are. The ceremony we performed is not reversible. In fact, as time goes on, you’ll feel the thirst for doing your job. If you don’t, you’ll become a true werewolf, killing indiscriminately to satisfy your natural role. You’ll be what humanity fears most. A monster.”
He moved to the window and flicked the curtain aside. It was dark outside, and the glass reflected back an image of the room. His eyes glittered.
“If you become such a monster, I will have no choice but to kill you myself.” He heaved a sigh as if it saddened him to think of killing me. “I can’t allow such an abomination to walk the earth.”